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Miscellaneous Ephemera => Scream Of Consciousness => Personal Life => Topic started by: Andy Pants on April 26, 2009, 09:25:24 AM

Title: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on April 26, 2009, 09:25:24 AM
So it's common knowledge that there are a lot of LGBT people that post on the Shadowbox and in the Dresden Dolls / Amanda Palmer fan community. But although its talked about allot I couldn't find any threads specifically devoted to this subject that discussed any of the things I wanted to know about.

So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other? Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive? When did you first know you were gay? Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out? Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out? Are you not gay but have had 'gay experiences'? (details)  What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes? How much does it define your personality?  Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'? Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why? Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Zephyr on April 26, 2009, 12:47:31 PM
let's see...

So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I consider myself gay, BUT I refuse to let this define me.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
Like it's always the case with labels, I think it's a very useful way to describe something. Simply saying "I'm gay" can be a lot easier than having to describe your entire situation. But like I said before, it can become a problem when people let these labels define them. I say I'm gay, but if I'd ever fall in love with a girl, I wouldn't try to fight it because I'm supposed to be gay. That's never happened though, so I guess I'm gay then.

It also annoys me when people answer "I don't believe in gay or straight. I refuse to let labels define me." They obviously don't understand how it works. I'm not attracted to men because I say I'm gay, I say I'm gay because I'm attracted to men.
It's like a supermarket... it's not because you put a label on a can that says "beans" that there's automatically beans in them. You see what's in the can, go "hm, looks like beans" and then put a label on them that says "beans".
Ok, that was a weird comparison.

When did you first know you were gay?
Don't remember, before I even knew what the word meant.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
Out to most people, but it hasn't come up with everyone yet.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
Everyone was positive, nothing really changed for me. The only thing that changed was that my mother decided that she had to teach me how to clean and cook because I'd never have a wife to do that stuff for me (yes, I know...).

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality? 
It doesn't mean that much to me... the only thing it means is that I'm attracted to men. Apart from that it has no meaning so it's not like it's such a huge part of my personality. It's a part of me, but not everything.
Also, I really hate rainbows.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I used to try to avoid the stereotypes, because they can sometimes annoy me. I wanted to prove to people that the stereotypes are all false. But then I realised that by doing that I was hiding a part of who I really am, so now I just embrace all of that, even the REALLY stereotypically gay parts. I LOVE KYLIE MINOGUE goddammit!

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
For me this isn't really a factor for wether or not I like an artist. If I like the music I'll listen to it, if I don't like it, I won't. A couple of factors can influence this, however. If an artist is homophobic, of course I won't like listening to them. On the other hand if the lyrics are about gay love, it can make it easier to relate to than to songs about 'opposite love'. This is even more important for media (like films & tv) where a gay storyline can be easier to relate to.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Ehhh... no, not that I can think of.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
I'm very happy to say I haven't.



wow, this turned into a very long post.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: nottheonethatscrazy on April 26, 2009, 05:21:36 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I'm a lesbian.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
I think they're useful. I don't know how they could be oppressive.

When did you first know you were gay?
Well, when I decided that I was gay only about 3 weeks ago. However, I've been attracted to girls for years. Since I was little.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
Out to everyone but my family.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
Nothing really happened. But, like I said, I haven't told my family yet.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it?  and How much does it define your personality? 
I think it is just a part of me. It doesn't really define me, but it is a part of who I am.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I don't think about them. I'm just me.


Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
I don't actively look for gay bands. I just listen to what I like.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Nope. Not really.


Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Yeah. But it's pretty minor. Just people saying a few mean things to my girlfriend and I.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on April 26, 2009, 05:31:58 PM
Ok, I am straight so most of this doesn't apply to me (although I wouldn't say no to the right girl)
Anyway! I just wanted to come on here to sort of tell a little story and let out some frustration.

Firstly, it's kinda relevant that three of my best friends are gay.

So.
I was in a Social Studies class the other day and we just got to talking about homosexuality in terms of discrimination. And the teacher asked us what we thought about the whole idea of homosexuality. But before we got a word in, she started saying a lot of stuff about how she thinks it is "just wrong" and it obviously disgusted her a bit. And then after all that, she was going to say some more, but then she looked at the class and we were all staring at her with "wtf" faces. So, she just stopped talking.

But it really made me sick how ignorant she was about the whole thing. I mean, she's supposed to be a Social Studies teacher, but she is so completely ignorant about everything that people "shouldn't do" or be. She's completely ridiculous, I want to slap her a lot and I am not a violent person.

[/rant]
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: old news on April 26, 2009, 05:48:37 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I'm T and fairly certain I'm B too. Problem is, the T doesn't really go with the others in terms of this survey, and up until recently, I didn't know my sexuality at all: the T has affected my life a HUGE amount more. Which makes me answering this survey a little...tricky.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
Answering for LGB, I think they are useful in the sense that they provide signposts. When I was freaking out over my sexuality a month or so ago, these terms were useful to try and orientate myself. I didn't want to let them define me though.

When did you first know you were gay?
Well, I don't think I am gay...however, as for when I knew I was bi...well, I don't fully know for certain yet, but it seems pretty likely. I'm attracted to both, however I tend to imagine a future with a guy, which leans me more towards the straight side of bi. As for when I realised this...a month ago, thereabouts. I first crushed on a guy back in February though, after spending most of my life without a sexuality. As for when I knew I was trans...I've always known.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
Well, since the T dwarves the B so utterly, I've not had any real concern about being in the cloest for that. I'm pretty open about it. As for T, pretty much everyone I know knows, especially since they've known me for a while. I tended to tell people one-on-one, since it was hard doing it any other way, and in most cases they didn't seem that surprised, although my mother didn't accept it at all (and only has when I visited at Easter). I just wanted people to know who I was. Weirdly, being bi, or the liking men part of it, is something a lot of people have expected of me, or assumed of me, despite having a long-term relationship with a girl. So coming out there hasn't even been necessary.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
Ooops, I already answered this one mostly. But when I came out as T, it didn't really change much. It just meant I didn't have to pretend, which I was never very good at. Huge changes have taken place in my life since I actually took significant steps in that direction, though. Including finding out I'm bi.

(After this, I can't really answer the questions, because they don't really apply)

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Well, not for my sexuality. However, I certainly have for being trans. I got used to being laughed at, and I had some pretty bad months in 2004 when some guys at sixth form decided to make me a target because of it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: dangerpants on April 26, 2009, 05:51:44 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I'm bisexual.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
I think it's difficult to avoid categories. Saying "gay" as a category is simply organization. It's when you add bad emotions or prejudice that you make the categories oppressive.

When did you first know you were gay?
I thought I was fucked up when I realized I wasn't just attracted to boys like I was "supposed" to be, when I was in 8th grade. My first crushes were girls (and I didn't start crushing on guys until like, 6th grade), but I didn't realize that's what they were.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
Out to everyone else, in to my family... But I figure they know anyway, it's just never come up. My mother was pretty cruel to me for a while with hinting and such, but I think she's over it now.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
People don't react badly. I have a hard time with a small portion of the gay community because some of them think I'm a liar or a fake (and as such I was poking fun at their trials and tribulations), but nothing from anyone else. Oh, and some hardcore christians tell me I'm going to burn, but that's pretty normal, innit?

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it?  and How much does it define your personality? 
It's just who I am. I can't wear it, I wouldn't know how to... It really doesn't make me any different than if I were straight.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
Are there bisexual stereotypes?


Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
If I found some I liked, no prob. I like a lot of gay musicians. I loooove movies like Kinky Boots, but I think that's just because I always feel out of place, and like I'm in the same boat.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
I don't think so... I mostly look up to my friends, so I suppose so. Why? Various reasons... Like maybe they have an effortless cool.


Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Nothing so serious as to cause me harm or even remember it. I have encountered many people who are very against homosexuality and transexuality and the like, but they've never hurt anyone or made fun of anyone specifically over it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Strange_Jane on April 26, 2009, 05:54:43 PM
I consider myself bi, my dad knew when I was in high school. My mom and I discussed it after last years true color's concert. Most of my friends and family are aware. My mom asks me why I'd choose this and and the prejudice that comes along with it, which I responded with " Mom I have been defending who I am most of my life, I am pagan and in Texas!" It helps that my cousin is a lesbian so i've always had someone on my side, closest thing to having a real sibling as my brother has rarely been in the picture. Nothing has really changed for me, I didn't really date either guys or girls before I came out. I havent really encountered much predjudice but I don't talk about it at work or anything really...I make sideways comments like " oh, she's hot..." or whatever. I still to this day wear my erase hate bracelet I got from the true colors tour and it was the first time I saw and met the Dresden Dolls live. As to media, I am drawn to what I like.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CaffeinatedCassadie on April 26, 2009, 05:59:15 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I am a lesbian

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?

I don't think it is opressive, but it can be if you let it, as with anything.

When did you first know you were gay?
Don't remember, before I even knew what the word meant. (Stolen from Niels)

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
If someone asks me, I don't lie about it, but I also don't go around shoulting "I AM A LESBIAN HEAR ME ROARR!"

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
Nothing changed, my mom had assumed I was gay since I was in about 5th grade. When people at school really started to find out, I actually became a little less ignored.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?
Uh it means I love having relationships with people of the same sex as me, I don't let it define me.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I do try to avoid stereotypes of all types, but if I fall into one I don't try to hide it. Rainbows and glitter make me happy :)

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
Hmm I listen to any music I like, regardless of the artist, but pretty much the only television I watch is LOGO because I can actually relate.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?

Not that I can think of.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Yes... My 73 year old algebra teacher is a catholic republican and talks about politics non stop. So one day someone asked me how my girlfriend was right in front of him on purpose. He started saying very quietly to me with a disgusted look on his face that being gay is like being an alcoholic, it is a problem that can be fixed if I want it to.
I left that class.

Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: HornyHeather on April 26, 2009, 06:21:53 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
Im gay (i hate the word 'lesbian' - i dont know why)

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
I guess as humans we like to categorise, so its useful in that sense, but i personally dont like the labels. I am who i am.

When did you first know you were gay?
I suspected back in primary school and as i got older i hated the fact that i might be gay. I didnt admit it to myself until i got to uni.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
No im very much out. Im a teacher too and it was a very difficult decision to be out at college (i dont go announcing it but if a student asks me im honest with them). My parents were very upset and angry but like everyone else, kinda suspected too.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
At first the biggest concern i had was 'what do i wear?' i was convinced i was supposed to dress a certain way! It took me ages to adjust to be comfortable with myself. Apart from that there wasn't much in terms of changes.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?
Gay goes as far as my partner is female.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I try to break every stereotype and last night i was slightly irritated that there were so many alternative people as opposed to the usual 'gay outfit'!

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
Sadly, i'll take great interest in tv programmes with gay/bi female characters- although it could just be me having association with the characters. My band itself is a bit queercore - as an openly gay lead singer we get a lot of fans for that reason alone.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Not really, i feel really pleased when someone i already look up to turns out to be LGB - i love the fact that Amanda is, because i like her and relate to her, but that doesnt form the basis of my respect...

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
When i was training to be a teacher, my 'mentor' in one of my teaching practice placements took a dislike to me because i was gay, and bullied me mercilessly. It got so bad she told a whole group of pupils i was gay and that she thought it was 'disgusting' - she was sacked shortly after that!

HHx
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: nottheonethatscrazy on April 26, 2009, 06:27:05 PM
I love gay religious documentaries.
This one looks pretty good so far.
There are parts one through 9 up.
"For The Bible Tells Me So"
Part 1:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04AVRslVRbY
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pope Totalfrog on April 26, 2009, 06:59:48 PM
I love gay religious documentaries.
This one looks pretty good so far.
There are parts one through 9 up.
"For The Bible Tells Me So"
Part 1:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04AVRslVRbY
That is a good one.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: nottheonethatscrazy on April 26, 2009, 07:02:03 PM
I love gay religious documentaries.
This one looks pretty good so far.
There are parts one through 9 up.
"For The Bible Tells Me So"
Part 1:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04AVRslVRbY
That is a good one.
I laughed out loud when that woman got hit in the face with a pie in the very beginning.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: guuurrrrrllltakeiteasy on April 26, 2009, 07:37:15 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I am gay. But right now I am sad.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
They can be really annoying sometimes. You see I'm from Toronto and there's a gaybourhood here and a lot of the queer community are very...selective and I don't want to be part of that. I don't want to be associated with stuck up assholes. Also I attend an art school and my friend is also gay, and he sort of looks like me, so when people ask me why I don't wear make-up like he does (because apparently gay guys are supposed to wear make-up all of a sudden as though everyday were a drag show), it really pisses me off.

But I do find it useful sometimes. Like when girls are hitting on me I simply say "I'm gay." And I am the first gay person in my family. :) I do have a gay aunt. Although technically we're not related.

When did you first know you were gay?
I think I was 10 although I didn't come out til I was 14. My fucked up mother pressured me out of it actually. I didn't really sit down and tell her, she just kept bugging me about it.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
I am out of the closet.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
Well, my mother remained the same ignorant bitch. She still makes cruel jokes to this day how she'll grow up lonely and won't have any grandchildren to take of. And when I said that I could adopt she said that it isn't the same. My sister doesn't like kids. So......yeah. She thinks gays are unable to make children. I mean I have a penis and I can totally impregnante my lady friends if they ever need it. My cousins are happy about it because they have a few gay friends, so having one in the family is much better. I guess. I dunno. Nothing has really changed, actually. But I live with my mother so it's kind of depressing.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?
I just adds to my personality.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I can be versatile. I can fool a lot of people. If there's one thing I'm still a happy virgin, I am not a slut, and I don't shop often, I don't cook often, I don't clean often etc.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
No. I like whatever appeals to me.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
No.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Yep. All the time.

-I was harassed a lot in elementary school. I self harmed for a number of years.
-I get death threats via YouTube comments, but this doesn't really bother me. I'm just shocked that someone would be dumb enough to do that.
-I used to go to church with my mother and one evening the church sent out mass postcards to the government to make same-sex marriages illegal. This was when our Prime Minister was going to pass the bill and churches all across Ontario went apeshit. As I was leaving a volumptuous woman shoved a card in my face with a smile. I politely refused and she gave me a really dirty look. I felt so disgusted to be in a room full of people who were smiling, hugging, and patting each other on the back as they encouraged each other to put an end to this "gayness" once and for all. What act of love is that? To ban 2 happy people from marrying each other? Lame. Even Jesus wouldn't go that low.
-I experience homophobia in the halls of my school daily. Teachers ignore it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Lyzardly on April 26, 2009, 09:27:26 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I'm bi ... but prefer the term sapiosexual because the truth is, I am much more attracted to minds than bodies. Not to say that I don't love the flesh, because I do, but I don't have predilection for any type of body. I tend to find more female bodies attractive than male bodies, but nothing can compare to a challenging mind. And for the record, because it somehow seems related, I am monogamous, married to a man, but am still very much bi/sapiosexual.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
I consider them inadequate, which you probably guessed from my response ^ there.

When did you first know you were gay?
I realized I was different when I discovered that my friend girls didn't want to snuggle at sleepovers ... elementary school. I realized that was gay/bi around 6th grade.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
Out, but being married most family members prefer to believe it was a passing phase. I came out to my mom when she showed up at my house really early in the morning and my girlfriend came out of my bedroom with bed head. By came out I mean, she figured it out.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
My mom said she wanted me to be happy, but due to her religious beliefs did not think it would result in lasting happiness.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?

I realized that I tend to think everyone is bi, until they prove otherwise. I tend to separate "what I do" from "who I am" so while I'm certain that it affects my personality and is visible in some way or another, I'm not sure I can isolate how it's visible or how it has impacted my personality.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
The fact that I am bi, monogamous, and married seems to surprise many people - LGBT or otherwise - so I suppose I do.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
I'm a big fan of folk music, and there are lots of lovely LGBT ladies that I listen to all the time. I tend to prefer to spend money on artists that have political agendas similar to mine and I find value in paying for the the media I consume (not judging anyone who choses otherwise, this is just my personal choice) Soooooo, most of the media I support comes from LGBT or LGBT friendly artists.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
I look up to people who are themselves, unapologetically. Again, most of these people tend to be LGBT/LGBT friendly. I really look up to ani difranco (cliche, I know) but she has inspired me since I was very young.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Sadly, the most painful prejudice I have experienced has come from within the LGBT community. An ex-girlfriend told me she never would have dated me if she knew I was bi.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: buttercup. on April 26, 2009, 09:40:50 PM
I'm straight.
I tried being bi-sexual at 14 because I was, and still am, attracted to women. But I'm actually deathly shy around most pretty girls, so I have no real experience dating/being sexually active with women. Men on the other hand, I'm very comfortable around. I'd rather feel comfort then nerves, so even if I'm bi-sexual (since there is no denying my attraction to men), there has only been one or two women I'd actually be able to date without puking. And even then, they make me terrible self aware. You can call this confusion, sure, but I don't feel very confused. I know how I am with the majority of both genders.

Most straight people assume I'm a lesbian anyway, so I'm not really avoiding being treated differently. I've had mothers grab their daughters by the collars and tell them to stop looking at me. You know, just in case they catch my cooties. It does bother me that people misinterpret my sexuality, but I know most straight women don't wear mohawks.
Lesbians on the other hand are very aware of my sexuality, it seems, from the encounters I've had. There will be thirty seconds of probing and suddenly a look dawns on their face and we become great friends, and never anything else.

I don't know if my point of view is important or not in this context, but there.   
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: caddy on April 26, 2009, 10:13:01 PM
I'm straight.
I tried being bi-sexual at 14 because I was, and still am, attracted to women. But I'm actually deathly shy around most pretty girls, so I have no real experience dating/being sexually active with women.   


Oh ho ho, thar me lassy!  Mali assaulted my poon last we spoke in person.  True story.  Tell'em!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: buttercup. on April 26, 2009, 11:06:04 PM
I'm straight.
I tried being bi-sexual at 14 because I was, and still am, attracted to women. But I'm actually deathly shy around most pretty girls, so I have no real experience dating/being sexually active with women.   


Oh ho ho, thar me lassy!  Mali assaulted my poon last we spoke in person.  True story.  Tell'em!

 >:D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: caddy on April 26, 2009, 11:08:46 PM
I'm straight.
I tried being bi-sexual at 14 because I was, and still am, attracted to women. But I'm actually deathly shy around most pretty girls, so I have no real experience dating/being sexually active with women.   


Oh ho ho, thar me lassy!  Mali assaulted my poon last we spoke in person.  True story.  Tell'em!

 >:D

The face says it all!


 :love5:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: nottheonethatscrazy on April 27, 2009, 12:00:52 AM
ATTENTION LESBIANS!
Does anyone know any really good positions?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Kyal on April 27, 2009, 04:33:51 AM
Quote from: nottheonethatscrazy on: April 26, 2009, 12:00:52 AM
Quote
ATTENTION LESBIANS!
Does anyone know any really good positions?

If I did I'd tell you but I'm not a female homosexual or female bisexual for that matter.




So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I somewhat consider myself bisexual.
(And anyone can get infected condoms.)
Though I find myself attracted to alot of different people these days and have thoughts about the occasional "life's a drag" kind of way.
So I'm still pretty undecided anyway.


Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
Kylie Minouge. Scissor Sisters. Queen.
Cabaret is the word I was introduced to the dresden dolls with so basically... You can see that I'm straight as a wet noodle.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Yea but nothing came out of it.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Alot, alienation and exclusion. "Every guy thinks I'm out ot get him" kind of thing. And girls "just wanna be friends" casue they don't know that I'm trying to get in there pants until there all over the guy next to me and I fuck off.


Well. That is a bit frictuous
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: old news on April 27, 2009, 08:14:33 AM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I'm bi ... but prefer the term sapiosexual because the truth is, I am much more attracted to minds than bodies. Not to say that I don't love the flesh, because I do, but I don't have predilection for any type of body. I tend to find more female bodies attractive than male bodies, but nothing can compare to a challenging mind. And for the record, because it somehow seems related, I am monogamous, married to a man, but am still very much bi/sapiosexual.
This actually sounds really similar to how I feel.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: . on April 27, 2009, 11:04:51 AM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
Sort of undecided, probably closest to Bi.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
I'd say they're useful, but by no means definitive. I tend to see sexuality as an infinite spectrum as apposed to a certain number of categories.

When did you first know you were gay?
Part of me has known I like girls as well as boys for a long time, it just took a specific girl to draw that side out of me.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
Bit of both (though what with some current love life drama doesn't look like it'll stay that way for long!). Not out to my family, I don't see a need to at this point in my life because I'm still finding myself really, and I know there are certain members who won't like it.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
No one was very shocked really and nothing really changed. Once I assured my sillier female friends that I didn't fancy them all was back to normal :p

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality? 
I don't think I'd be that different were I straight to be honest, I'd probably just do a bit less staring at legs...

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I don't think I do.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Nothing really with malicious intent, mostly just people who are ignorant.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: nottheonethatscrazy on April 27, 2009, 11:33:11 AM
Quote from: nottheonethatscrazy on: April 26, 2009, 12:00:52 AM
Quote
ATTENTION LESBIANS!
Does anyone know any really good positions?

If I did I'd tell you but I'm not a female homosexual or female bisexual for that matter.
Thanks anyway, dude.
Do you know anything nice that can be achieved without a penis?
[oral or otherwise?]
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: dangerpants on April 27, 2009, 02:09:10 PM
Do you know anything nice that can be achieved without a penis?
[oral or otherwise?]


Get toys. Seriously. You can do soooo much with a little vibe.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on April 27, 2009, 02:44:55 PM


So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
Gay.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
Oh, I don't know. I used to say I didn't want to define myself, that I fell in love with the person - not with what's in their underpants... and when I came out to my friends, it was easier to say I liked boys too. I thought it would make it ''less bad''.
Now I totally feel ok with being categorized gay/lesbian. 
I don't like how some people I know feel that sexuality totally defines who you are, and that people who are the same sexuality have SOOOO many things in common, that's bullshit in my opinion.


When did you first know you were gay?
Ah, I've been liking girls for as long as I can remember. I didn't really know what it meant, etc. I don't think I was fully aware of it.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
Out to most of my friends, and some university classmates. And the whole wide web, if it counts. I came out talking, or, to my best friend, in a long long email (to explain why I had hidden it from her for so long - it turned out she totally knew anyhow). I'm in to my family and intend to stay so until I move out.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
It's really good to whine to my friends about my love life and just talk about it and have shoulders to cry on. My friends were all really mega supportive.
I ALSO came out to my crush, telling her I liked her, and she's straight but has been treating me exactly the same way as before, if not kinder.... so I'm sort of lucky.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality? 
Uhm I don't know. I really really like short hair, and I guess I do look a bit butchy, but apparently I don't look particularly lesbionic (thanks Niels for this adjective, I stole it from you).
I don't think it defines my personality much. I like girls, that's just a part of me.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I am totally a gay man according to stereotypes. Well, I was. Used to listen to all the MALE GAY Icons, Barbra Streisand, Bette Midler, Gloria Gaynor, Madonna, Dolly Parton, and the list goes on an on.
I have short hair, is that a stereotype for lesbians? 

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
Uhm I'd say that I listen pretty much to ''gay'' music and straight music... I like how in English many times the gender pronouns are not really said in songs... And like, Tegan & Sara's music, youd' have no clue they're gay just by listening to the songs....

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Not really...

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
I haven't. well I have, indirectly, from my granny, my family, people around me. but. they don't know I'm gay, or don't want to know, so...
I think I'm not out to enough people to encouter it yet. and it's only friends, and friends I know would accept it, so.... we'll see with the others...


Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on April 27, 2009, 04:30:51 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I'm going to go with Niels and say I'm a can of beans  :)

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
I think it's usefull to be able to shorthand it with gay or bisexual. (on a more grammar related note does it sounds wrong to people when "I'm lesbian" is said? shouldn't there be an 'a' in there?)
Gay (when applied to men) is a guy who likes guys, thats what I am.
Which is also why particularly femme guys don't do it for me, I like guys as in guyish guys.

When did you first know you were gay?
Can't really say, to me it's always been this way

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
Uh I guess the door is open but I'm like...sitting half way out.
My parents know and so do all my friends but with school people I just feel I don't need people being wary of me for that reason, which would happen.
Either way I don't include it as part of my introduction.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
There a lot of "well duh" from my friends, my mom wanted me to go to counseling.
What was fantastic was the ability to help my best friend come out, now our other friend say that we won't shut up about being gay. Her being gay made me more confident in that side of me and realise that if i were straight life would be a fuckload different and I like my life.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?  
Well I guess if it's a part of me it's a part of my personality but really I don't feel like I over play it or make it super obvious. If somebody is mean to me I won't automatically think it's because I'm gay.
I see it more so as a quality, I like apples...and men.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
Well stereotypes are kind of there from experience, I can be pretty stereotypical at times like with my music taste or such.
What angers me is how I feel my mom assumes that with my being gay I will turn in to some sort of flaming queen covered in body glitter.
I don't try to break stereotypes but i don't try to fit into them.
I try to be and if thats a stereotype then fuck it.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
I actually listen to a fuck lot of queercore. (The butchies, Team Dresch, the cliks, sleater-kinney) but the music that would automatically be seen as gay, like Madonna or Kylie, is the type I'm not really into.
My general media influence tends to be more lesbian centered rather than gay male.
It seems that for gay men the stereotype is much more represented in media.
Like how they made Will from will and grace even gayer as the seasons went on.
But if you watch the L word or sugar rush it seems to stress the point that gay can come from all walks of life.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Woooh Ellen!! But seriously I don't think I look up to anyone, people might say the admire a persons courage to come out but if I did it then why should I admire them for doing what I have done?

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Not really, I do have a friend who often stops in a sentence when he was about to describe something as gay or use the word fag but I actually find it hilarious how he tip toes.

long post :D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Merk on April 27, 2009, 04:38:09 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
Ayyeee. Gay.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
Nah, we may do it different in the bed room but were all the same @ the end of the day.

When did you first know you were gay?[
i say your born gay: when my  :icon_king: whent up when i saw a naked man.

Are you in or out of the closet?
Out to friends IN to Family

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
 "OMMMGGG I KNEW IT! -.- *sigh* i was automaticly "the fashion guru" and everyone wanted me to go shopping 24/7 and hold me hand >.<

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?
i don't realy take it like as a "Big" thing....

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
fall

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
nooopeee.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
amanda palmer, patrick wolf

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
P.e Teacher. laughed in my face cos i couldn't do p.e cos i burned my hand on my straightners ;P. he tod the rest of the p.e teachers, and he just picked on me for a 2 whole years.

Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: nottheonethatscrazy on April 27, 2009, 10:52:43 PM
Do you know anything nice that can be achieved without a penis?
[oral or otherwise?]


Get toys. Seriously. You can do soooo much with a little vibe.
I'm not 18 yet.
And the 18 year old that I know that would get one for us doesn't want to because she has a crush on my girl.
I'll be 17 in August, but I've still got a while.......
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Kyal on April 27, 2009, 11:39:08 PM
Quote from: nottheonethatscrazy on: April 26, 2009, 12:00:52 AM
Quote
ATTENTION LESBIANS!
Does anyone know any really good positions?

If I did I'd tell you but I'm not a female homosexual or female bisexual for that matter.
Thanks anyway, dude.
Do you know anything nice that can be achieved without a penis?
[oral or otherwise?]


Well in a situaiton like this I suggest google be your friend, but something great to do,straight people can do it too; your tounge can go everywhere a hand can. If this isn't too fetish-esque for you just be wary some people don't like being covered in spit.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: dangerpants on April 27, 2009, 11:41:15 PM
Do you know anything nice that can be achieved without a penis?
[oral or otherwise?]


Get toys. Seriously. You can do soooo much with a little vibe.
I'm not 18 yet.
And the 18 year old that I know that would get one for us doesn't want to because she has a crush on my girl.
I'll be 17 in August, but I've still got a while.......

Not everything that vibrates is sold as a sex toy...

...think about it...

 >:D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: nottheonethatscrazy on April 28, 2009, 09:15:54 AM
Quote from: nottheonethatscrazy on: April 26, 2009, 12:00:52 AM
Quote
ATTENTION LESBIANS!
Does anyone know any really good positions?

If I did I'd tell you but I'm not a female homosexual or female bisexual for that matter.
Thanks anyway, dude.
Do you know anything nice that can be achieved without a penis?
[oral or otherwise?]


Well in a situaiton like this I suggest google be your friend, but something great to do,straight people can do it too; your tounge can go everywhere a hand can. If this isn't too fetish-esque for you just be wary some people don't like being covered in spit.
I used Google.
It was helpful, but there seemed to be a lot of scissoring positions, and my girl and I aren't into that.
We were just looking for some new things to maximize our orgasmic potential.
 ;D

Do you know anything nice that can be achieved without a penis?
[oral or otherwise?]


Get toys. Seriously. You can do soooo much with a little vibe.
I'm not 18 yet.
And the 18 year old that I know that would get one for us doesn't want to because she has a crush on my girl.
I'll be 17 in August, but I've still got a while.......

Not everything that vibrates is sold as a sex toy...

...think about it...

 >:D
Hahaha.
We could get crafty.
 8)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: old news on April 28, 2009, 11:40:59 AM
I like the way this thread is going.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on April 28, 2009, 01:45:33 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?

Bietybibi. *ahem* I am bisexual.


Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?


Oooh. Well, I like being able to label things - I like belonging to groups and saying, "I'm in this gang, you're in that one". It's not a good thing in most situations, but for sexuality I think it helps people to get their heads round it. Also, I'm pretty fiercly bisexual - there's no kind of indecision or anything - so I have no problem using the label as it's just... Right.


When did you first know you were gay bisexual?


Um. Forever? But then, I didn't really let myself admit it until I was about 14 or so.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?

In the closet with my family - I might tell them when I move out, I might not. They're closed-minded fuckers, so maybe not. But all my friends know. Well, I say that - I've only actually said, "I'm bisexual" to two people, but sex comes up in conversation a lot, so it sort of crops up.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?

Nobody gives a shit! I mean, it doesn't make any difference to anyone. At all. The only thing is that now straight boys tell me what's going on with their girlfriends and girls they fancy, so I guess if anything I've gotten closer to them.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality? 

It doesn't. I'm bi like I have brown eyes - it's just a thing that I am.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?

None of the above. That I know of.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?

Not on purpose.


Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?


Kim Stoltz. The first hot lezzer I ever saw ^.^

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?

Nope! Hooray! Except from my family's attitudes in general, but I don't count them cos I love them xD
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: nottheonethatscrazy on April 28, 2009, 04:33:10 PM
I love gay documentaries so much.
Especially religious ones.
I'm watching one called Dangerous Living: Coming Out in the Developing World.
Yay.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Kyal on April 28, 2009, 11:31:55 PM
I love gay documentaries so much.
Especially religious ones.
I'm watching one called Dangerous Living: Coming Out in the Developing World.
Yay.

Alas I can't get my hands on many doco's and even if I had the incentive to DL some I have very slow Internet.
I do though have some "Issues in Society" books.
"Gay and Lesbian Rights"
"Youth Sexuality"
Stuff like that I'm currently digesting for my own benefit.
And have you tried tantric sex?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: old news on April 29, 2009, 11:19:22 AM
I've given up trying to figure out why I seem to have the sexuality I do. I can't find a reason for it, and worrying about it isn't doing me any good. I need to stop being suspicious about liking who I do, because I can't help it, and it's part of me, and not a false construction born out of mistaken beliefs. It just feels strange knowing that I actually am this way.

I suppose all that's kinda obvious, but it's been a long road for me to get here.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: nottheonethatscrazy on April 29, 2009, 11:23:11 AM
I love gay documentaries so much.
Especially religious ones.
I'm watching one called Dangerous Living: Coming Out in the Developing World.
Yay.

Alas I can't get my hands on many doco's and even if I had the incentive to DL some I have very slow Internet.
I do though have some "Issues in Society" books.
"Gay and Lesbian Rights"
"Youth Sexuality"
Stuff like that I'm currently digesting for my own benefit.
And have you tried tantric sex?
I don't download them or buy them, I just search Google. ;D
You can find some on Youtube in segments, or the full version on some sites.
You can also find some on Logo.[logoonline.com]
And I get all my gay literature at the library.
I'm currently reading a book called Anything But Straight, which is about the ex-gay myth.
No, I haven't heard tantric sex.
What is it?
I just looked it up on Wikipedia, but I'm a bit confused.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: . on April 29, 2009, 01:01:30 PM
I've given up trying to figure out why I seem to have the sexuality I do. I can't find a reason for it, and worrying about it isn't doing me any good. I need to stop being suspicious about liking who I do, because I can't help it, and it's part of me, and not a false construction born out of mistaken beliefs. It just feels strange knowing that I actually am this way.

I suppose all that's kinda obvious, but it's been a long road for me to get here.

QFT

You're right.
No one needs a reason for their sexuality, and there probably aren't reasons out there.  If you asked a straight person why they were straight, I'd assume they'd probably answer 'because I like boys/girls' and I reckon that's about as far as reasoning need stretch for us LGBT's too, if that.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: old news on April 29, 2009, 01:05:28 PM
Thanks, Orlagh  :love5:

I have had a bad habit of questioning myself a lot, born from my past. Eventually, though, I have come to accept things. In my case, I'm bi :)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Musings on April 29, 2009, 01:20:06 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I fall for boys and girls.  Get a bit more hung up and awkward with the girls and they give me more poetry.  More comfortable and easy with the boys and they give me more security.  So, technically bi.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
Categories are useful in terms of recognizing yourself.  Reassessing and declaring myself bi opened my eyes to what was going on inside of me, made me more comfortable, made me more fearless.

If it remains nameless, if it remains mysterious and untouchable, the person that you are -- then you stay closed and fearful.

It also helps unify and give others support.

When did you first know you were gay?
I knew I liked girls around when I was 12, but thought I could shut that part of me down until... very recently.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
Started coming out gradually to friends recently.  Family is hard, and I probably won't come out to them unless I'm bringing a girl home.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
I made it a casual conversation with almost everyone, except the first person, who was one of my best friends and a Born Again -- she said, Oh, that must be hard.

To everyone I was just like, "Oh by the way, in addition to being brown and eating spicy food... sometimes I like girls..."

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality? 
Being bi means I like boys and I like girls and that's about it.  I don't even know what that means, wearing gay.  I wear what I wear.  I haven't changed much.  I do, and have always, fought strongly for gay rights.  But that would be something I would have done if I were straight.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I am who I am.  If that is a gay stereotype, I wasn't aware.  If it breaks a gay stereotype, I'm also unaware.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
What's queercore?  Someone should explain this to me?  What's gay music?  What defines it as gay, versus just GOOD?  I guess I listen to like... Tegan & Sara... and Ani... but I also listen to techno and African and the occasional rap and emo and Indian hip hop and...

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Sure.  People outside of it as well.  People who own themselves, whoever they are.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
In high school I helped start the first Gay-Straight Alliance, and our posters got ripped down.  That was the only thing, I believe.

I have also had discussions with my fam and a few friends that make me very sad.  Not so much prejudice but a total lack of understanding of gayness/bisexuality, which therefore means they will never truly be able to understand me.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: tanqgirl on April 29, 2009, 01:45:53 PM
i'm definitely straight but i have no problem with gay people

most of my friends are gay or bi, i've never had an issue with LGB peoples i find it entertaining when they tell me about their relationships and whatnot...the only thing that "bothered" me (but i also found extremely entertaining) is most of my lesbian/bi friends (girls) were attracted to me and told me...i found this annoying because they seemed to think telling me this would change my mind, but still rather funny

i've never had a problem defending LGBT people, in a government class i had (where about 25 of the 30 people in the class were hardcore republicans and the other 4 "democratic" people thought the same way as most of the republicans) we got on the conversation about if gay marriage should be illegal and i went on a hardcore rant about how inane of a thought that was, when my rant was done the entire class was staring at me like i was the spawn of satan (which is normal)

my biggest thing is that i dont understand why people have such a big problem with others sexuality, it's not hurting anyone so whats the big deal? no i dont find females attractive and i've yet to find any female that doesnt at some point annoy the shit out of me/piss me the fuck off...but that doesnt mean that i have an issue with females (or males) getting together and i've yet to meet someone with a good explanation as to why they think it's wrong (personally i dont think "because the bible says so" excuse is even worth listening to)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: NastyEgo on April 29, 2009, 02:57:32 PM
Do you know anything nice that can be achieved without a penis?
[oral or otherwise?]


Get toys. Seriously. You can do soooo much with a little vibe.
I'm not 18 yet.
And the 18 year old that I know that would get one for us doesn't want to because she has a crush on my girl.
I'll be 17 in August, but I've still got a while.......

Not everything that vibrates is sold as a sex toy...

...think about it...

 >:D
A tumble dryer?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: dangerpants on April 29, 2009, 04:04:36 PM
A tumble dryer?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v234/dangereuxmortelle/diagramlol.jpg
 O0

Sex toys do not just include vibes, they include furniture and such as well...  >:D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: nottheonethatscrazy on April 29, 2009, 04:08:08 PM
A tumble dryer?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v234/dangereuxmortelle/diagramlol.jpg
 O0

Sex toys do not just include vibes, they include furniture and such as well...  >:D
:D :D :D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: . on April 29, 2009, 04:24:40 PM
A tumble dryer?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v234/dangereuxmortelle/diagramlol.jpg
 O0

Sex toys do not just include vibes, they include furniture and such as well...  >:D
:D :D :D

Awesome
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: the CAPS guy on April 29, 2009, 04:47:05 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I'm T and fairly certain I'm B too. Problem is, the T doesn't really go with the others in terms of this survey, and up until recently, I didn't know my sexuality at all: the T has affected my life a HUGE amount more. Which makes me answering this survey a little...tricky.


Well, i just want to say to you that it's great you are T and you are so brave, i admire you, you seems a very nice person and someone who i would love to be your friend.
I HAD A T FRIEND.

in another things, and talking about sexuality, i really don't like drag queens... i mean, i think they are fake and destructive people. i know that some of you will blame me for saying this, but i used to go to gay/lesbian clubs, and i never, never, never saw or meet a nice drag queen, i mean, a centered drag queen.

All of they want is to do a SHOW of everything, i mean, they behave fake 99% of the time, where is the real person? i think they are depressing because when you are not a real person 100% of the time it will kill you. THEY HIDE THE REAL PERSON UNDER POUNDS AND POUNDS OF MAKE UP, literally.

Drag queens ARE VULGAR, and i know that sometimes being vulgar is funny, but sometimes you have to behave under some circunstances, they  CAN'T  behave and they think thay they are defeating everything just for being like that. SO WRONG.

PLEASE GAY BOYS AND T's, NEVER BECAME A DRAG QUEEN.
ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS CONSERVE YOUR ESSENCE.

Now that I've said what I think.. you can blame me.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on April 29, 2009, 04:51:50 PM
I like the way drag queens look. I wish straight boys would be drag queens xD I like transvestites too, but not convincing ones - boys in fishnets are hawt, boys who look like girls aren't. To me, I mean.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on April 29, 2009, 05:00:56 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I'm T and fairly certain I'm B too. Problem is, the T doesn't really go with the others in terms of this survey, and up until recently, I didn't know my sexuality at all: the T has affected my life a HUGE amount more. Which makes me answering this survey a little...tricky.


Well, i just want to say to you that it's great you are T and you are so brave, i admire you, you seems a very nice person and someone who i would love to be your friend.
I HAD A T FRIEND.

in another things, and talking about sexuality, i really don't like drag queens... i mean, i think they are fake and destructive people. i know that some of you will blame me for saying this, but i used to go to gay/lesbian clubs, and i never, never, never saw or meet a nice drag queen, i mean, a centered drag queen.

All of they want is to do a SHOW of everything, i mean, they behave fake 99% of the time, where is the real person? i think they are depressing because when you are not a real person 100% of the time it will kill you. THEY HIDE THE REAL PERSON UNDER POUNDS AND POUNDS OF MAKE UP, literally.

Drag queens ARE VULGAR, and i know that sometimes being vulgar is funny, but sometimes you have to behave under some circunstances, they  CAN'T  behave and they think thay they are defeating everything just for being like that. SO WRONG.

PLEASE GAY BOYS AND T's, NEVER BECAME A DRAG QUEEN.
ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS CONSERVE YOUR ESSENCE.

Now that I've said what I think.. you can blame me.
oooh, drag queens.
well, some people are professional crossdressers so of course they do a SHOW, and they're damn good at it.
and i definitely do not agree that all drag queens are vulgar. some might be more elegant than many ladies out there, actually.
one of my favourite movies ever is on drag queens (priscilla, queen of the desert).

and yes indie, i too like how drag queens look like. actually, when i was a kid, i wanted to be a drag queen. i hadn't considered that uhm i was missing the main ingredient lol. i feel so sexist but i don't find drag kings half as fascinating.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: the CAPS guy on April 29, 2009, 05:05:16 PM
I like the way drag queens look. I wish straight boys would be drag queens xD I like transvestites too, but not convincing ones - boys in fishnets are hawt, boys who look like girls aren't. To me, I mean.

thanks! You give a point that i forgot to talk about!

Girls' opinions about drags are mostly good, i mean... girls always see drags like funny and good... drags likes girls as most gays likes girls friends instead of boys friends.

there are just few girls who don't likes drags.

come on girls! drags shouldn't be judged as a funny/fashion object, you have to look the real person.

DO YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD MARRY WITH A DRAG IF HE WAS A STRAIGHT MAN?  
... I MEAN, COULD YOU MARRY WITH THE PERSONALITY OF A DRAG?

oooh, drag queens.
well, some people are professional crossdressers so of course they do a SHOW, and they're damn good at it.
and i definitely do not agree that all drag queens are vulgar. some might be more elegant than many ladies out there, actually.
one of my favourite movies ever is on drag queens (priscilla, queen of the desert).

and yes indie, i too like how drag queens look like. actually, when i was a kid, i wanted to be a drag queen. i hadn't considered that uhm i was missing the main ingredient lol. i feel so sexist but i don't find drag kings half as fascinating.

yeah! the different thing about a drag and a real t, is because a real t is like a normal girl, they want to be a normal gir!
drag queens are always trying to be MORE than a girl buy THEY JUST... CAN'T.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: . on April 29, 2009, 05:13:08 PM
(Not blaming, just my two cents...)
Living in Brighton and going to some of the club nights that I do in London, I come across alot of drag queens. I've never met one who struck me as unpleasant. They're just living out their lives in the way they want and having a good time, as everyone should have the right to do. And good for them, it takes some guts and conviction to do what they do and if they're happy doing it then I don't think people should judge them anymore than they should me or you.

We all wear masks and hide behind persona to a certain extent, I don't think the thickness of a drag queen's make up is really an issue in that sense. It could be the way they show the world who their 'real person' is.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: old news on April 29, 2009, 05:17:39 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I'm T and fairly certain I'm B too. Problem is, the T doesn't really go with the others in terms of this survey, and up until recently, I didn't know my sexuality at all: the T has affected my life a HUGE amount more. Which makes me answering this survey a little...tricky.


Well, i just want to say to you that it's great you are T and you are so brave, i admire you, you seems a very nice person and someone who i would love to be your friend.
I HAD A T FRIEND.
Thankyou, sweetheart :)
I'd love to be your friend too!

in another things, and talking about sexuality, i really don't like drag queens... i mean, i think they are fake and destructive people. i know that some of you will blame me for saying this, but i used to go to gay/lesbian clubs, and i never, never, never saw or meet a nice drag queen, i mean, a centered drag queen.

All of they want is to do a SHOW of everything, i mean, they behave fake 99% of the time, where is the real person? i think they are depressing because when you are not a real person 100% of the time it will kill you. THEY HIDE THE REAL PERSON UNDER POUNDS AND POUNDS OF MAKE UP, literally.

Drag queens ARE VULGAR, and i know that sometimes being vulgar is funny, but sometimes you have to behave under some circunstances, they  CAN'T  behave and they think thay they are defeating everything just for being like that. SO WRONG.

PLEASE GAY BOYS AND T's, NEVER BECAME A DRAG QUEEN.
ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS CONSERVE YOUR ESSENCE.

Now that I've said what I think.. you can blame me.
Most transwomen who do drag shows do it for the money because they are destitute, often having run away from home. Drag is usually associated with transvestitism, which has very little to do with transsexuality. It's a problem sometimes, because people get the two confused.

TVs aren't trying to be more than girls. They're doing it for the show. They may be feminine, but they are not female. I have a little bias against them, because of the aforementioned confusion between them and transsexuals (which even happens in Rocky Horror), but I don't think them especially vulgar. Some of them are very classy.

Transsexuals on the other hand...well, in the cases of transwomen, they ARE women. They are female. And they do want to be normal girls, as in girls born physically female. TVs definitely do not, and the few that actually have tried usually freak when they start growing real breasts and realise what a mistake they made.

As long as the distinction is clear, I don't mind.

boys in fishnets are hawt, boys who look like girls aren't. To me, I mean.
Haha, well, I quite like boys in eyeliner myself. And some androgynous boys are really very very pretty :)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: the CAPS guy on April 29, 2009, 05:18:15 PM
(Not blaming, just my two cents...)
Living in Brighton and going to some of the club nights that I do in London, I come across alot of drag queens. I've never met one who struck me as unpleasant. They're just living out their lives in the way they want and having a good time, as everyone should have the right to do. And good for them, it takes some guts and conviction to do what they do and if they're happy doing it then I don't think people should judge them anymore than they should me or you.

We all wear masks and hide behind persona to a certain extent, I don't think the thickness of a drag queen's make up is really an issue in that sense. It could be the way they show the world who their 'real person' is.

thank you for saying that, you're right, everyone should have the right to do whatever they think it's good, but i think they should be more real, i think it is not good for their health to do a show of everything all the time.


Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: old news on April 29, 2009, 05:21:51 PM
(Not blaming, just my two cents...)
Living in Brighton and going to some of the club nights that I do in London, I come across alot of drag queens. I've never met one who struck me as unpleasant. They're just living out their lives in the way they want and having a good time, as everyone should have the right to do. And good for them, it takes some guts and conviction to do what they do and if they're happy doing it then I don't think people should judge them anymore than they should me or you.

We all wear masks and hide behind persona to a certain extent, I don't think the thickness of a drag queen's make up is really an issue in that sense. It could be the way they show the world who their 'real person' is.

thank you for saying that, you're right, everyone should have the right to do whatever they think it's good, but i think they should be more real, i think it is not good for their health to do a show of everything all the time.
I don't agree with this point. I don't really see how their health is involved in this. They are being real, as far as what they want to do. And a lot of drag queens don't stay in drag 'all the time'.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: the CAPS guy on April 29, 2009, 05:22:04 PM

Most transwomen who do drag shows do it for the money because they are destitute, often having run away from home. Drag is usually associated with transvestitism, which has very little to do with transsexuality. It's a problem sometimes, because people get the two confused.

TVs aren't trying to be more than girls. They're doing it for the show. They may be feminine, but they are not female. I have a little bias against them, because of the aforementioned confusion between them and transsexuals (which even happens in Rocky Horror), but I don't think them especially vulgar. Some of them are very classy.

Transsexuals on the other hand...well, in the cases of transwomen, they ARE women. They are female. And they do want to be normal girls, as in girls born physically female. TVs definitely do not, and the few that actually have tried usually freak when they start growing real breasts and realise what a mistake they made.

As long as the distinction is clear, I don't mind.


thank you! and I just want to say that I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. i couldn't explain it better!

(Not blaming, just my two cents...)
Living in Brighton and going to some of the club nights that I do in London, I come across alot of drag queens. I've never met one who struck me as unpleasant. They're just living out their lives in the way they want and having a good time, as everyone should have the right to do. And good for them, it takes some guts and conviction to do what they do and if they're happy doing it then I don't think people should judge them anymore than they should me or you.

We all wear masks and hide behind persona to a certain extent, I don't think the thickness of a drag queen's make up is really an issue in that sense. It could be the way they show the world who their 'real person' is.

thank you for saying that, you're right, everyone should have the right to do whatever they think it's good, but i think they should be more real, i think it is not good for their health to do a show of everything all the time.
I don't agree with this point. I don't really see how their health is involved in this. They are being real, as far as what they want to do. And a lot of drag queens don't stay in drag 'all the time'.

What I meant to say is what you said already, a trannsexual IS a girl. a DragQueen IS an actor.   

when they base their lifes 99% to be a drag queen they can loose their essence, they think they are real but ask them when nobody is around... ask them what they feel. when nobody is around them.. when they are alone...

and i agree with you that some people just do it for money and if they don't stay in drag all the time it is good, IN THIS CASE I CAN SEE THE ART OF BEING A DRAG.

I JUST CAN'T SEE THE ART WHEN YOU ARE AN ACTOR 100% OF THE TIME.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: yosmark on April 29, 2009, 05:26:02 PM
A capacitor?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: . on April 29, 2009, 05:44:57 PM
well, some people are professional crossdressers so of course they do a SHOW, and they're damn good at it.

(Going to see an amazing recurring tour with my crush this summer: Lady Boys of Bankok. They are freaking awesome and H.O.T.)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Lyzardly on April 29, 2009, 09:38:37 PM
Drag Queens at the 801 Cabaret is an interesting read. It shares the stories of drag queens researched by two lesbian researchers (Taylor and Rupp). I read pieces of it as part of a research methodologies class, so most of my reading was based in reviewing and critiquing the methodologies used. (Also very interesting, how to negotiate the researcher/researched power dynamic reflexively, etc.)

Anyway, the book is basically drag queens telling their stories, in their own voices as much as possible. Regardless of your thoughts on drag (and whether you think Judith Butler appropriated it, exploited it, showed it's value in Gender Trouble) - I think it's worth checking out of the local library.

My two pennies have been tossed.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: the CAPS guy on April 29, 2009, 10:04:05 PM
Drag Queens at the 801 Cabaret is an interesting read. It shares the stories of drag queens researched by two lesbian researchers (Taylor and Rupp). I read pieces of it as part of a research methodologies class, so most of my reading was based in reviewing and critiquing the methodologies used. (Also very interesting, how to negotiate the researcher/researched power dynamic reflexively, etc.)

Anyway, the book is basically drag queens telling their stories, in their own voices as much as possible. Regardless of your thoughts on drag (and whether you think Judith Butler appropriated it, exploited it, showed it's value in Gender Trouble) - I think it's worth checking out of the local library.

My two pennies have been tossed.

I guess i can't have access to that book but it seems interesting.

So, you read it, what did you found out?

I'd love to read your opinion about what you found out on the book.

According to the book, are drags centered people? Or they just live for the show hidding theirselves?
Are they happy all the time? Or they want to die when nobody is near them?

What a best resource than a book.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Lyzardly on April 29, 2009, 10:45:41 PM
Drag Queens at the 801 Cabaret is an interesting read. It shares the stories of drag queens researched by two lesbian researchers (Taylor and Rupp). I read pieces of it as part of a research methodologies class, so most of my reading was based in reviewing and critiquing the methodologies used. (Also very interesting, how to negotiate the researcher/researched power dynamic reflexively, etc.)

Anyway, the book is basically drag queens telling their stories, in their own voices as much as possible. Regardless of your thoughts on drag (and whether you think Judith Butler appropriated it, exploited it, showed it's value in Gender Trouble) - I think it's worth checking out of the local library.

My two pennies have been tossed.

I guess i can't have access to that book but it seems interesting.

So, you read it, what did you found out?

I'd love to read your opinion about what you found out on the book.

According to the book, are drags centered people? Or they just live for the show hidding theirselves?
Are they happy all the time? Or they want to die when nobody is near them?

What a best resource than a book.

No access to the book? For why? I would mail it to you if I owned it because I am a book commie and I think everyone should be able to read anything they want.

I only read excerpts, like I said because it was for a research class so the focus was on the research methods and how they impacted the data - the difference between getting audience volunteers for focus groups when the drag queens announced vs. when the researchers announced, etc.

Anyway, from what I did read it demonstrated that drag queens are human. Some are self-centered. Some are generous. Some are drug addicts. Some are anti-drugs. Some are HIV positive. Some are HIV negative. Many are destitute. Some were in a good space and happy when the research was done and some were not.

I'm not sure if you meant to be ironic with the comment about a book being the best resource, so I'm going to respond gingerly. I'm new here, don't know you, you don't me. Reading has not been my only experience with drag. My father used to judge drag shows in Utah, I've been to plenty of drag shows - both drag queen and drag king - and have friends who do drag, both king and queen again. And my experience has been similar to my limited experience with the book I mentioned.

People who do drag are human. Everyone I have met and spoke with does drag for a different reason. Certainly, some drag performers are self-centered, egotistic, drama fiends ... as are many other types of performers. What drives someone to dress in drag and prance around on stage? I don't know, I imagine the answer is multiple and varied, but I would guess it's not too far from what what drives people to dress is costume and act in plays, or perform their music, or display their art. Some people are driven by drag/performance/music, some people are attention-seeking/self-centered/trying to work out Freudian issues in public.

Drag can be transgressive. It can challenge conceptions about what gender is and how it is constructed in our society. Drag can also be highly entertaining. It can be a great show. And drag can be degrading. It can contribute to the reinforcement of traditional gender stereotypes of the idea that those who do drag are freaks to be paraded around. I've seen some brilliant drag and I've seem some drag that I thought was just plain crass.

I don't think it's as cut and dry as saying that people who do drag are always putting on a show. In some ways, we all perform our gender. If you perform it "well" heteronormative society rewards you, if you perform it "poorly" heteronormative society has clearly punitive consequences.

And this is much longer than I intended. Sorry about that.

If you are interested in the book, or in Butler's Gender Trouble - let me know and I will keep an eye open at local bookstores. I am serious about mailing it if you can't get it. I'm the book commie.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: tanqgirl on April 29, 2009, 11:00:54 PM
my favorite transvestite is eddie izzard and he's hilarious...he likes to talk about being in drag so the conversation reminded me of him

Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: the CAPS guy on April 29, 2009, 11:08:32 PM
Drag Queens at the 801 Cabaret is an interesting read. It shares the stories of drag queens researched by two lesbian researchers (Taylor and Rupp). I read pieces of it as part of a research methodologies class, so most of my reading was based in reviewing and critiquing the methodologies used. (Also very interesting, how to negotiate the researcher/researched power dynamic reflexively, etc.)

Anyway, the book is basically drag queens telling their stories, in their own voices as much as possible. Regardless of your thoughts on drag (and whether you think Judith Butler appropriated it, exploited it, showed it's value in Gender Trouble) - I think it's worth checking out of the local library.

My two pennies have been tossed.

I guess i can't have access to that book but it seems interesting.

So, you read it, what did you found out?

I'd love to read your opinion about what you found out on the book.

According to the book, are drags centered people? Or they just live for the show hidding theirselves?
Are they happy all the time? Or they want to die when nobody is near them?

What a best resource than a book.

No access to the book? For why? I would mail it to you if I owned it because I am a book commie and I think everyone should be able to read anything they want.

I only read excerpts, like I said because it was for a research class so the focus was on the research methods and how they impacted the data - the difference between getting audience volunteers for focus groups when the drag queens announced vs. when the researchers announced, etc.

Anyway, from what I did read it demonstrated that drag queens are human. Some are self-centered. Some are generous. Some are drug addicts. Some are anti-drugs. Some are HIV positive. Some are HIV negative. Many are destitute. Some were in a good space and happy when the research was done and some were not.

I'm not sure if you meant to be ironic with the comment about a book being the best resource, so I'm going to respond gingerly. I'm new here, don't know you, you don't me. Reading has not been my only experience with drag. My father used to judge drag shows in Utah, I've been to plenty of drag shows - both drag queen and drag king - and have friends who do drag, both king and queen again. And my experience has been similar to my limited experience with the book I mentioned.

People who do drag are human. Everyone I have met and spoke with does drag for a different reason. Certainly, some drag performers are self-centered, egotistic, drama fiends ... as are many other types of performers. What drives someone to dress in drag and prance around on stage? I don't know, I imagine the answer is multiple and varied, but I would guess it's not too far from what what drives people to dress is costume and act in plays, or perform their music, or display their art. Some people are driven by drag/performance/music, some people are attention-seeking/self-centered/trying to work out Freudian issues in public.

Drag can be transgressive. It can challenge conceptions about what gender is and how it is constructed in our society. Drag can also be highly entertaining. It can be a great show. And drag can be degrading. It can contribute to the reinforcement of traditional gender stereotypes of the idea that those who do drag are freaks to be paraded around. I've seen some brilliant drag and I've seem some drag that I thought was just plain crass.

I don't think it's as cut and dry as saying that people who do drag are always putting on a show. In some ways, we all perform our gender. If you perform it "well" heteronormative society rewards you, if you perform it "poorly" heteronormative society has clearly punitive consequences.

And this is much longer than I intended. Sorry about that.

If you are interested in the book, or in Butler's Gender Trouble - let me know and I will keep an eye open at local bookstores. I am serious about mailing it if you can't get it. I'm the book commie.

first of all, welcome to the board, this is a open board, it means that  you can think and say whatever you think, respecting the other members of course...
My comment wasn't meant to be ironic, i mean, the books supposed to be the best resource, because they formed part of a process when different people checked the information to find if it has fundaments or not.

i think you have some good points, drags are human, but i'm sorry, i can't convince myself that drag queens are ok, it's not nobody's fault.  i mean, bad people is human, too, they need to be loved, they has needs, they have to work, etc.  well, i guess i can see drag queen as an act, like brian do sometimes, it's great then, but being a drag as a lifestyle, i won't approve it never because i think they have a serious problem with their identity, they need to look for help. that's all.

btw, thank you for your your kindness about looking for the book, i am not really interested right now, and if i change my mind i think i can look for it over the internet, you don't need to bother, but thank you, anyway!

oh, i forgot to introduce myself... my name is hugo, i'm mexican and i'm a drag....







...not! just kidding. please, forgive my bad english grammatic.

Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Lyzardly on April 30, 2009, 12:14:48 AM
Hi Hugo and thanks for the welcome. I'm Lyz, I'm German-Serbian-Scotch-Irish-American living on the US east coast. Pleased to meet you.

I disagree that drag as a lifestyle always indicates that people have identity issues, but I think identity is a slippery thing. Even if we list all the things that make up our identity (sexuality, political leanings, race, ethnicity, religion, etc.) there is something left over that can't be quantified in that matter. The excess is what makes you react differently to your life than someone else might. I think we exceed out identities.

And tanqgirl... Eddie Izzard=complete awesome IMHO. He recently did an impromptu gig in NYC, advertised only on Twitter. Decided on Sunday to do a gig on Tuesday, tickets were cheap and he was brilliant. Love him, love him, love him.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: dangerpants on April 30, 2009, 01:19:47 AM
Hugo, I love you, but sometimes you are a little ignorant.
Please do not over-generalize. You have only met a few drag queens, and all that you have met were bad. That's your experience. That doesn't mean that ALL drag queens are vulgar (Oh, and just in case you forgot: normal people can be just as vulgar, with or without the lacy panties).
And if you mean to suggest that transvestism is wrong, you should probably rethink this. Maybe you should do some research for your own edification and figure out why TVs dress as the opposite gender before taking such a strong stance. If you think it's wrong because baby Jesus told you so, then that's your prerogative. But don't start with the negativity and the name-calling, because THAT'S wrong. You shouldn't judge something you don't understand.
I'm sorry you didn't meet nice drag queens... Self-centered and attention seeking people can be very irritating and I'm sure that's why you took that opinion on this subject. I suppose it's not entirely fair to you, because now it's harder for you to see that this is just people being people being people. People do things that some of us find strange, but it's perfectly normal (skydiving, anyone? I wouldn't skydive for the world, but to some people it's nothing...). I'm sure you have a few habits that people would think odd, and so do I. But so long as they are healthy (or at least not directly life threatening), and they are not encroaching on other people's rights or privacy, there's no reason not to do what you feel most comfortable and joyful doing.
Please don't take this as mean or angry or whatever, I'm really not (and I'm not trying to insult you, but I think I might come across as insulting sometimes).
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: the CAPS guy on April 30, 2009, 02:10:17 AM
Hugo, I love you, but sometimes you are a little ignorant.
Please do not over-generalize. You have only met a few drag queens, and all that you have met were bad. That's your experience. That doesn't mean that ALL drag queens are vulgar (Oh, and just in case you forgot: normal people can be just as vulgar, with or without the lacy panties).
And if you mean to suggest that transvestism is wrong, you should probably rethink this. Maybe you should do some research for your own edification and figure out why TVs dress as the opposite gender before taking such a strong stance. If you think it's wrong because baby Jesus told you so, then that's your prerogative. But don't start with the negativity and the name-calling, because THAT'S wrong. You shouldn't judge something you don't understand.
I'm sorry you didn't meet nice drag queens... Self-centered and attention seeking people can be very irritating and I'm sure that's why you took that opinion on this subject. I suppose it's not entirely fair to you, because now it's harder for you to see that this is just people being people being people. People do things that some of us find strange, but it's perfectly normal (skydiving, anyone? I wouldn't skydive for the world, but to some people it's nothing...). I'm sure you have a few habits that people would think odd, and so do I. But so long as they are healthy (or at least not directly life threatening), and they are not encroaching on other people's rights or privacy, there's no reason not to do what you feel most comfortable and joyful doing.
Please don't take this as mean or angry or whatever, I'm really not (and I'm not trying to insult you, but I think I might come across as insulting sometimes).

it's OK, comment accepted. i knew i will have to deal with different opinions and i love it because it made me open minded.
a thing to change: all drags are not vulgar, as all gays doesn't need to wear make-up.

i just can't accept drags, i can accept transexuals, but not drags. i think it's a personal believe.

i think i am not ignorant because i CAN differentiate a polite nice person from a self-centered, egocentric person. i'm not talking about that,
if i ever met a polite drag queen, i will still think it's not ok.

i'm not against a personality, i'm against a decision.
being a drag is a decision, you didn't borned as a drag, you choosed to be a drag.
you can't choose be gay or lesbian, but you can choose to be a drag,
i don't like people who have chosen to be drags, i can talk with them, i can be polite with them.

I think that being gay is normal, being lesbian is normal, being transexual is normal... but being a drag queen is... not good to me.

as i've said drag queen as a profession is fine, but as a lifestyle is not fine, TO ME.

i PERSONALLY believe that they don't think as a girl, i think they think as boys trying to be a girl.

a man will never be equal as the awesomeness of a woman...

it could be funny as many of you think, it could be classy, or fashion, whatever you want, but THEY. ARE. NOT. A. WOMAN.

i'm not talking about baby jesus values, i'm just talking about nature's values...

you can be gay because you feel it. nobody can deny it.
you can be lesbian because you feel it.
you can be a man but  physical and mental a woman, because you feel it.
but being a distroted image of a woman, and trying to pretend that everything it's ok just because you are polite, classy or fashion? it's just can't fit with me.



anyway, i have a whole life to live, i'm only 23, i'm just glad i can speak about the way i think in this moment.
enjoy the show, help the drags.

call to the help the drags fundation to 01 900 HELP THE DRAGS to help the drags to be JUST actors.

Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Miss Sahara on April 30, 2009, 04:53:10 AM

i'm not talking about baby jesus values, i'm just talking about nature's values...

you can be gay because you feel it. nobody can deny it.
you can be lesbian because you feel it.
you can be a man but  physical and mental a woman, because you feel it.
but being a distroted image of a woman, and trying to pretend that everything it's ok just because you are polite, classy or fashion? it's just can't fit with me.



Hugo, I see were you're coming from. Drag queens may seem appalling to you because the mask is so obvious and they are not trying to be themselves without anything to lean on, right?

Anyway. Mostly everone wears a mask in one way or the other.
I think in some cases it might be unhealthy, but I don't think this is something only applying to drag queens! Sometimes masks can help you to be more yourself and deal with shit. Deal with life. Like, comedians make jokes to deal with life. actors pretend to be other people to deal or even escape. musicians make music to deal with life. And if they're off the stage doesn't mean they stop converting everything they see into music, so i don't think the amount of your time you spend doing what you do is crucial.

If you choose to deal with life by being a drag queen, so it is YOUR WAY, how you see things, and maybe the way your truth works. i wouldn't jugde anybody for doing things the ways they do, unless they do harm to other people....

But to be honest, i only  have very few experiences with drag queens, so please correct me, if i'm wrong.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on April 30, 2009, 09:21:24 AM
Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
What's queercore?  Someone should explain this to me?  What's gay music?  What defines it as gay, versus just GOOD?  I guess I listen to like... Tegan & Sara... and Ani... but I also listen to techno and African and the occasional rap and emo and Indian hip hop and...

http://www.youtube.com/v/UHrLEHLK1lQ&hl=en&fs=1

http://www.youtube.com/v/N2bLLVA_TGk&hl=en&fs=1

http://www.youtube.com/v/j41atOB070k&hl=en&fs=1

http://www.youtube.com/v/WOh_isx7Kz0&hl=en&fs=1


Queercore is a defined subculture of music specifically dealing with gay themes. Gay music is music that has gay themes. What defines it as gay is it's subject matter. Whether it is good or not is a matter of personal opinion and probably varies wildly depending on the artist. I hope this answers your question. I am unsure however as your last question didn't really make any sense.

Also EVERYONE MUST KNOW THAT 'LIMP WRIST' IS ONE OF THE GREATEST PUNK BANDS EVER
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: caffineoddities on April 30, 2009, 09:59:37 AM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I'm Gay

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
I think Beth discussed this really well in her most recent blog. I think useful. There's something I don't understand about people who say they don't want to be restricted by a label. I think people get caught up in stigma attached to calling yourself gay/bi/lesbian and should focus more on making it their own word. I'm Gay in the sense i'm attrcted to the same sex, but my understanding of being gay will differ from everyones. I don't see the need to split hairs.

When did you first know you were gay?
There was an old sepia print of a man in a bathtub in the garage when i was maybe 4. I fancied him.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
Mostly, theres still some people i havn'e actively told. I basically gave myself a date to tell my mother. She came in to wake me up for school and told her.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
My mother reacted well/ "oh, oh okay. Oh i think i need to sit down. Well you kow that I still love you and that I will always love you don't you?"

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?
I don't let it define me but it's a part of me. I don't go to gay pride and i'm not a big fan of it, but if i wasn't gay i can't help but feel I'd be a very different person. I think "not letting it define you" can be taken too far in some instances and sets the example that being really open with your sexuality is something to be frowned upon because you are "letting it define you". I'm aware of it, it's a part of me but not all of me.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
They don't really register. I'm me and that means occasionally being more stereotypical and sometimes less. I don't think being a complete stereotype is necessarily a bad thing so long as your being true to yourself and just happen to fall one by doing so.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
I read towleroad.com but thats about it. Its good for broad spanning gay news, polical and social not just celebrity trype stuff.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Generally the people who do go out and protest and fight for their rights - i'm a little to timid and not politically involved to do so but i respect those who can and do

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
I came from a small town. I once had a group of rough looking guys chase me down the main street calling me a faggot and hurling rocks.
Some boys at school dragged me down to the bottom of the agricultural plot and pinned me to the ground while one rubbed cow shit in my face calling me a fag and a queer.
This was all before i came out, i dressed a little differently to other kids.

And Scattermoon i just wanted to tell you I think you're a really inspiring person and there's something about the quality of your person that lends itself to a lot of respect (sorry i know that seems really bullshitty but you know *bumps fist against chest* it's from the heart)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on April 30, 2009, 10:08:38 AM
My favourite quotes from this thread so far.

I'm not attracted to men because I say I'm gay, I say I'm gay because I'm attracted to men.
It's like a supermarket... it's not because you put a label on a can that says "beans" that there's automatically beans in them. You see what's in the can, go "hm, looks like beans" and then put a label on them that says "beans".
Ok, that was a weird comparison.

I love that description. That's seriously one of the most insightful explainations I've heard.

don't think it's as cut and dry as saying that people who do drag are always putting on a show. In some ways, we all perform our gender. If you perform it "well" heteronormative society rewards you, if you perform it "poorly" heteronormative society has clearly punitive consequences.

Bam, I have a feminist friend who says the same thing. "Gender is a matter of performance".

I also don't know why so many people can't understand the concept of 'wearing' their sexuality. Some people do, some people don't. Whatever they are. Some people are very vocal about it, others aren't. But I think if someone can tell your sexuality from the first time they meet you, then you could describe yourself as 'wearing' it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on April 30, 2009, 10:23:35 AM

i'm not talking about baby jesus values, i'm just talking about nature's values...



Wait, so you're implying it's natural for particular genders to wear particular kinds of clothing, makeup or costumes? That it's a matter of genetic predisposition or natural law which is being violated? That doesn't make any sense.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on April 30, 2009, 02:44:01 PM
I'm sure I could talk about the big ol' conversation that I missed, but I just really wanted to clear something - I don't know any drag queens, I just said I like how they look. I like weird, OTT make-up and men's legs in tights and outrageous costumes and all that.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on April 30, 2009, 02:57:53 PM
I'm sure I could talk about the big ol' conversation that I missed, but I just really wanted to clear something - I don't know any drag queens, I just said I like how they look. I like weird, OTT make-up and men's legs in tights and outrageous costumes and all that.

Any drag queen acts I've seen have been pretty darn funny.
What I like is the fact that they openly admit they are men (well the ones I've seen [on video of course, not a real show]).
Like come on, Jackie beat is pretty fricken awsome
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: dangerpants on April 30, 2009, 03:28:45 PM
By the way, Hugo, you mentioned that Brian V dresses in drag sometimes for a show...

http://www.matthewshepard.org/site/PageServer?pagename=Voices_Brian_Viglione

Maybe it'd help to read it from his perspective? It's confusing when you're not a part of it. Brian is straight. As far as I know, he doesn't want to be a woman.

And going against social construct is not going against nature. Dresses and lipstick don't grow on trees as such. Society says men must wear pants and not skirts.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Alyss on April 30, 2009, 05:36:53 PM
let's see...

So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I consider myself gay, BUT I refuse to let this define me.
You've failed. Just like I've failed to be defined by being straight. Every aspect of your personality is a definition, retard.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: yosmark on April 30, 2009, 07:10:01 PM
let's see...

So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I consider myself gay, BUT I refuse to let this define me.
You've failed. Just like I've failed to be defined by being straight. Every aspect of your personality is a definition, retard.

Ho ho ho ho ho the alyss dude kicks in... a capacitor?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: [CPCTC]Mrs.Picklez on April 30, 2009, 10:16:04 PM
let's see...

So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I consider myself gay, BUT I refuse to let this define me.
You've failed. Just like I've failed to be defined by being straight. Every aspect of your personality is a definition, retard.
What the hell crawled up your ass and died?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on April 30, 2009, 10:34:48 PM
let's see...

So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I consider myself gay, BUT I refuse to let this define me.
You've failed. Just like I've failed to be defined by being straight. Every aspect of your personality is a definition, retard.
What the hell crawled up your ass and died?
Can we try and have a little bit less negativity in this thread please?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: [CPCTC]Mrs.Picklez on April 30, 2009, 11:17:49 PM
let's see...

So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I consider myself gay, BUT I refuse to let this define me.
You've failed. Just like I've failed to be defined by being straight. Every aspect of your personality is a definition, retard.
What the hell crawled up your ass and died?
Can we try and have a little bit less negativity in this thread please?
(http://i594.photobucket.com/albums/tt26/Metalkid1013/img006.jpg)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: [CPCTC]Mrs.Picklez on April 30, 2009, 11:40:03 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I'm queer, I'm here; get used to it?

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
I love who I love and I be with the people choose, I just hate it when people learn that I'm a lesbian and are like or let's go buy you a Suburu and a Uhaul and ship your ass to California.
WTF?

When did you first know you were gay?
I tried dating guys and it didn't go so well. I just finally accepted everything and it all worked out in the end. I say I came to my self-realization at the age of 14-ish maybe 15... who knows.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
I'm proudly out to any who asks, or is on my facebook I guess. My parents know about it most of my family does to except my crazy aunt. She might try to burn me alive, so for the sake of the family whenever she is around I have nice young man to look forward to.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
My dad changed all of his jokes and insults from fat/fail jokes to gay jokes. I love my father. It would just be wierd if he didn't pick on me.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality? 
Being gay I guess is just...well gay... *shrug of indifference*
There is this one chick at my college who is annoying as all hell. She pratically runs around the school screaming at the top of her lungs about how gay she is. It's one thing to be proud, another to be completely annoying. I don't really think something like being gay can define your personality, in certian ways. I dunno.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I can't stand stereotyping but it will never go away, like I said earlier, I'm destined to drive a suburu, go to cali and Uhaul with my first girlfriend. *party*

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
Is queercore like death core? I'm confused.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
I guess I would consider Rob Halford a role model. Just being in the metal scene, making great music, being a gay man and being accepted like that is pretty fucking awesome.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gorgoroth
He is pretty kick ass also.
Gaahl is pretty fucking awesome.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Ummm just a few weird looks from some old ladies, thats just cause they realize I'm bangin' their grandaughter.
Pwnt.

Thank you neils, I stole-ed your format.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on May 01, 2009, 12:30:06 AM
let's see...

So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I consider myself gay, BUT I refuse to let this define me.
You've failed. Just like I've failed to be defined by being straight. Every aspect of your personality is a definition, retard.
What the hell crawled up your ass and died?
Can we try and have a little bit less negativity in this thread please?
It's Alyss, that's what he does.

He's also frequently wrong, as in this instance.

I'm white...
...straight...
...male....
...college-educated...

If these things defined me, Alyss and I would be the same person.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: yosmark on May 01, 2009, 12:33:22 AM
If these things defined me, Alyss and I would be the same person.

Geezzz C, I thought you created Alyss/Fergus/Kyal ... I am so confused ... I ... excuse me...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on May 01, 2009, 12:41:16 AM
If these things defined me, Alyss and I would be the same person.

Geezzz C, I thought you created Alyss/Fergus/Kyal ... I am so confused ... I ... excuse me...
Unlike some folks, the only alias I use here is this one.

Or, if you meant "created" in a literal sense, I wasn't [ahem] patronizing Alyss' mum until
he was in school, so he couldn't be mine.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: yosmark on May 01, 2009, 01:10:40 AM
Or, if you meant "created" in a literal sense, I wasn't [ahem] patronizing Alyss' mum until
he was in school, so he couldn't be mine.

EPIC PWNAGE!!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Alyss on May 01, 2009, 02:29:13 PM
Or, if you meant "created" in a literal sense, I wasn't [ahem] patronizing Alyss' mum until
he was in school, so he couldn't be mine.

EPIC PWNAGE!!
Well it would be if I knew that my Mum hasn't been getting any from my Dad for a while. So, if someone's keeping her company, that's no skin off my nose. Go nuts, mate.

let's see...

So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I consider myself gay, BUT I refuse to let this define me.
You've failed. Just like I've failed to be defined by being straight. Every aspect of your personality is a definition, retard.
What the hell crawled up your ass and died?
I didn't die.

let's see...

So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I consider myself gay, BUT I refuse to let this define me.
You've failed. Just like I've failed to be defined by being straight. Every aspect of your personality is a definition, retard.
What the hell crawled up your ass and died?
Can we try and have a little bit less negativity in this thread please?
It's Alyss, that's what he does.

He's also frequently wrong, as in this instance.

I'm white...
...straight...
...male....
...college-educated...

If these things defined me, Alyss and I would be the same person.
Not quite, because there's other things about you that add to the personality. We are merely creations of all our experiences and circumstances, no? Sexuality is one of those circumstances.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: dangerpants on May 01, 2009, 04:21:05 PM
What the hell crawled up your ass and died?
I didn't die.

So what you're saying is... that you crawled up your OWN ass.
Good for you, being so flexible.  :D

I disagree with you on sexuality being created by nuture and not nature, but this is from my own experience... And there's no proof either way. I do think that your sexuality and gender impact your experiences and circumstances, and can, in a way, affect your personality. But I also think that you misunderstood what Niels meant... He meant that he won't do certain things or react in a certain way that is stereotypically gay, instead being himself (or his understanding of himself, if you want to get philosophical). He doesn't want people to look at him and think "gay," but look at him and think "Niels."
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Ashleetalks_toastronauts on May 01, 2009, 06:02:30 PM
Most of the time I call myself a Lesbian.
I have my moments where I get sick of labels, I don't always understand why everything must have a name and a definition.

I just stick to Lesbian because it's simplest: I only date/like/find/ girls attractive.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: [CPCTC]Mrs.Picklez on May 02, 2009, 12:57:24 AM
What the hell crawled up your ass and died?
I didn't die.

So what you're saying is... that you crawled up your OWN ass.
Good for you, being so flexible.  :D

I disagree with you on sexuality being created by nuture and not nature, but this is from my own experience... And there's no proof either way. I do think that your sexuality and gender impact your experiences and circumstances, and can, in a way, affect your personality. But I also think that you misunderstood what Niels meant... He meant that he won't do certain things or react in a certain way that is stereotypically gay, instead being himself (or his understanding of himself, if you want to get philosophical). He doesn't want people to look at him and think "gay," but look at him and think "Niels."
So much love.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Rob on May 02, 2009, 02:06:00 AM
Most of the time I call myself a Lesbian.
I have my moments where I get sick of labels, I don't always understand why everything must have a name and a definition.

Things have labels, names and definitions for ease of communication.  Try buying a pair of shoes when there are no "Shoe" stores.

I just stick to Lesbian because it's simplest: I only date/like/find/ girls attractive.

Then you are a Lesbian.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on May 02, 2009, 03:00:47 AM
Most of the time I call myself a Lesbian.
I have my moments where I get sick of labels, I don't always understand why everything must have a name and a definition.

Things have labels, names and definitions for ease of communication.  Try buying a pair of shoes when there are no "Shoe" stores.


And try buying a gay girlfriend when their are no "gay" girlfriend stores!

Seriously though, people are not shoes. Shoes are predictable passive objects incapable of being attracted to people. It makes sense that the greater complexities a thing has the less classifiable it is, and the higher the likelihood is for simple labels to be inappropriate.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Rob on May 02, 2009, 03:31:34 AM
I'll go there... 

What about dietary preferences?  If someone is coming over to my house, isn't it important that I know if they are Diabetic, allergic or vegetarian; and then lacto-ovo, pescatarian or vegan?  These are things that are complex issues in which a label is extremely appropriate and useful. 

Labels are an intigral part of society.  The very constructs of civilization rely upon them.  I know it's the cool thing these days to "just be" but let's just be serious.

It is important to understand that labels do not define a state of being, they are the indicators of that state. 
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: yosmark on May 02, 2009, 03:49:41 AM
^ How can you even articulate words at 3 am?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Miss Sahara on May 02, 2009, 05:00:02 AM
Labels are never just labels. They come with a whole package of stereotypes. So if you label yourself gay or vegan or feminist or shoe or whatever there are always things that are immediately suggested about you. Things that might absolutely not apply to you. It's not the label you wouldn't want to let define you, but the stereotypes that come with it. (so if you see "beans" written on a can you'll probably imagine taste, colour, shape, or whatever you've learned about beans when in reality they're a kind of beans you've never even heard of...).

It's sad, but most of the time you won't get the chance to give a differentiated description of your personality in order to make others understand what's going on, so using labels is very helpful.
But if you label yourself you'll always have to prove wrong stereotypes wrong / right ones right. it's like a "promotion" for your personality. you say you're gay and people will think "ok, another one of these" and if they are interested they'll get to know you better and see what a small part of you your "gay part" actually is. and if their assumptions were wrong. but this can be really tiring for you, and the majority of people you meet won't get a chance to know you well, so they'll presume things and then labels (stereotypes, respectively) start defining you.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on May 02, 2009, 05:08:32 AM
I'll go there... 

What about dietary preferences?  If someone is coming over to my house, isn't it important that I know if they are Diabetic, allergic or vegetarian; and then lacto-ovo, pescatarian or vegan?  These are things that are complex issues in which a label is extremely appropriate and useful. 

Labels are an integral part of society.  The very constructs of civilization rely upon them.  I know it's the cool thing these days to "just be" but let's just be serious.

It is important to understand that labels do not define a state of being, they are the indicators of that state. 

You're missing the point. The problem isn't that the labels aren't useful, it's that they aren't useful enough. They're to broad and not specific. And often they seek to describe the indescribable. Sexuality is simply too complex to fall into the narrow categories we use to describe it, which are often, sadly, the only ones that the majority of society can tolerate. The problem emerges when these labels are viewed as permanent instead of transient, this is when they become oppressive. The issue is that many (if not most) people believe that labelling your sexuality doesn't just describe what you have done in the past, or what you are doing in the present, but also what you will do in the future. And can you predict your future sexual behaviour? Do you have a time-machine or magic crystal ball? Can you see through time? Maybe someone only ever has sex with/ is attracted to one gender. Does that mean they will only ever have sex with/ be attracted to that gender? What if they can imagine a circumstance in which they might be attracted to or would consider having sex with the other gender, but that situation simply hasn't arised? What does that make them? 'Gay (or) Straight until further notice'? What if that situation will arise but they aren't aware of it? What are they then? Maybe someone is attracted to both genders. Are they still bisexual if they never act on those impulses with one of those genders?

And your analogies are all flawed. Nobody goes into a shop and says 'I want shoes', then takes whatever is handed to them. They have to think about what kind of shoe they want. What size they want. Maybe there are no shoes in their size but there are sandals. Maybe they have a problem with picking shoes over sandals, maybe they do not. Maybe they would prefer sandals. Maybe they know exactly what they are going to buy before they enter the store and maybe they don't. Generally sexual attraction is substantiated a shoe or sandal doesn't have a choice in whether someone buys it or not. Also I don't know many stereotypes about shoes or sandals that are capable of hurting their feelings. If people are prejudice against sandals or 'sandalphobic' it isn't exactly an injustice to humanity. They're only discriminating against an inanimate object. If you label a shoe a sandal because of the way it looks it doesn't hurt it's chances of being bought (getting laid).

Also if you are allergic to something there is a very very good chance that you will always be allergic to it and that you know for certain that you are allergic to it. And if you eat it you will probably die. No-one ever died just from having sex with someone who wasn't exactly their gender of preference.

If you want me to take your ideas seriously don't use analogies, they suck. Theoretical situations are fine but analogies are just a load of wank.

I do agree that the constructs of society rely on the labels and symbols we use, but since when is that a good thing? Social constructs are often in themselves oppressive. Usually this has to do with the labels and symbols we use being flawed.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: old news on May 02, 2009, 07:11:47 AM
It's not just sexuality labels that are taken as stereotypical definitions, though. Being trans is a good example, since there are tonnes of assumptions associated with that. Another is being vegetarian: the stereotypical assumption with that would be that you'd also be left-wing, intellectual and most likely female. In my case, I've had difficulty with some of these assumptions, because I worried the traits of mine that were shared with these assumptions were only there because I was trying to live up to the stereotype (for example, enjoying shopping for clothes). Eventually someone told me that 'you're not yourself because you're x, you're x because you're yourself', which really clarified things for me and has helped me ever since, such as my recent admittance that I am indeed bi.

Shoes are a flawed analogy because they don't describe people.

I was actually talking a little bit about this with T last night. He's really open-minded, and said that people should be how they know they are (primarily in terms of sexuality), and people who have a problem with that are just being closed-minded. He also personally thinks that everyone is bi, and it just takes amounts of alcohol to bring that out  ;D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Rob on May 02, 2009, 10:24:48 AM
Punkrocker, you are missing the point.  Nobody said they wanted more descriptive lables, what Ashlee said was, " I don't always understand why everything must have a name and a definition."  This implies the desire to abolish labels, not make them more descriptive.

There is nothing permanent implied by any lable.  It is a descripter of the object, situation or person in its /their current sleep.  If I was labeled "asleep"  two hours ago, one not need assume that I will be as such indefinitely.  If in the futeure, I am found to be awke (without the help of a chrystal ball) I would be labled so. 

No matter the size or style of the shoe you need or want, the fact remains that it is a shoe.  That point actually works to illuminate my analogy.  We all know that there are many types of shoes, How boring would it be if there weren't?  So, transposing my completely non-flawed example to sexuality, isn't it wonderful that we have so many sizes and stles of gays and lesbians and Bis (cross-trainers, I guess)?

Maybe someone is attracted to both genders. Are they still bisexual if they never act on those impulses with one of those genders?


Uhhh...YES!  That's what the label means.


I do agree that the constructs of society rely on the labels and symbols we use, but since when is that a good thing?

Since long before you were born.

Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on May 02, 2009, 01:31:24 PM
(Rob, coffee first, then try to spell bigg wurdz on tha intarwebz.   O0 )


But yeah, how many people have to misapply or misinterpret a label before we say the
problem is the label and not the people misusing it?  [/rhetorical question]
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: [CPCTC]Mrs.Picklez on May 02, 2009, 01:39:36 PM
(Rob, coffee first, then try to spell bigg wurdz on tha intarwebz.   O0 )


But yeah, how many people have to misapply or misinterpret a label before we say the
problem is the label and not the people misusing it?  [/rhetorical question]
I believe the answer you are looking for resides in pie.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Rob on May 02, 2009, 01:57:31 PM
Sorry, Cee.  It was rather early.

You are guilty of puting the label in front of the cart as well here. 

A Rose by any other name...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Zephyr on May 02, 2009, 02:00:53 PM
I think it's completely ridiculous when people say they want to get rid of labels. Labels are just like any other kind of word. They're necessary to describe the world around us. If you see a tree, you call it a tree. There's no reason to not call it a tree. If you're a woman and you're attracted to other women, you call yourself a lesbian, simple as that. Labels won't always be perfect for describing everything, but then you use other words to further explain what you mean.

So people, please stop saying you hate labels, it makes you look stupid.

A Rose by any other name...
would not smell as sweet. The names we use for things actually do influence how we see and feel about them.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: virtual~mary on May 02, 2009, 04:04:11 PM
^ How can you even articulate words at 3 am?

this.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Rob on May 03, 2009, 12:29:03 AM
It was actually 12:30. 

It seems that it is much easier than articulating at 7:30.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on May 03, 2009, 07:53:58 AM
Ah, I like labels. I mean, I don't really ever say, "I'm bisexual" because it really never relevant - if I'm making out with someone, then what matters is that I'm attracted to them, which I think they usually figure out from the presence of my tongue poking round their tonsils. Beyond that, it's not like it comes up in day-to-day conversation. But I like having the label there to use, because if nothing else it saves time - instead of saying, "I am sexually attracted to men and women in equal measures" I can just go, "Bi!" Then again, I suppose I'm lucky in that "bi" is exactly what I am, there's no further qualification necessary.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: old news on May 03, 2009, 08:57:20 AM
I sort of chose my own label this time, and even had people telling me at one point to stop worrying about labels and to go with what felt right. But then, I have friends on all ends of the LGBT spectrum, so I was already familiar with a lot of labels in terms of other people. I simply figured that, since I liked girls, and I was falling for guys as well, that meant I was bi, and I'm pretty comfortable with that.

A Rose by any other name...
would not smell as sweet. The names we use for things actually do influence how we see and feel about them.
Interesting point, Niels. I agree with you, up to a point. It applies to personal names as well. I could easily have been called Rowena, which I think is a lovely name, but it would subtley change what people think of me as opposed to Elaine. There's linguistics evidence to suggest that in languages with grammatical genders, that influences how people think about objects. In French, a 'bridge' is masculine, whilst it's feminine in German, and researchers have found that people will use different words to describe it accordingly.

(Rob, coffee first, then try to spell bigg wurdz on tha intarwebz.   O0 )


But yeah, how many people have to misapply or misinterpret a label before we say the
problem is the label and not the people misusing it?  [/rhetorical question]
I believe the answer you are looking for resides in pie.
All answers reside in pie.
Good point, though, Cee.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on May 03, 2009, 02:49:20 PM
I haven't read absolutely everything said about labels and stuff. So if I am repeating what someone else has said, sorry and please ignore.

My input:
As with everything, labels are a generalisation. As part of growing up, we need to form an identity for ourselves, and this obviously includes sexuality. The labels that are given to us are there so that we know that there is someone that feels like you do, someone who can empathise. No one likes to feel like they're alone in the world, and in a way, I think that labels make people feel safer. The stereotypes that go along with being a gay man, or a lesbian woman are there to help people understand. They are also true for some, if not most people.

Basically, everyone is different, and that's why labels are a nuisance. But, people generally also follow a trend, which makes labels handy. There's always going to be someone that the stereotype doesn't apply to, but it's still relevant to the majority.

I'm really sorry if that wasn't coherent or if it was a bit all over the place
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on May 03, 2009, 07:42:17 PM
I do agree that the constructs of society rely on the labels and symbols we use, but since when is that a good thing?

Since long before you were born.



I think that's very debatable. Labels can be innapropriate because they generalise or include irrelevant information and symbols can be misinterpreted and have false associated meanings. But that's part of the reason why I asked the question. There are a lot of varied and valid opinions on this.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Rob on May 03, 2009, 09:01:53 PM
Try to get through just one day in society without naming or describing anything, then come come back and tell me if labels are good things.

Of course, they are not perfect, but they are most certainly good to have around.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on May 03, 2009, 10:01:42 PM
Try to get through just one day in society without naming or describing anything, then come come back and tell me if labels are good things.

Of course, they are not perfect, but they are most certainly good to have around.

Your responses are based on an assumption of what my argument is as oposed to the actual argument. Try understanding what I'm saying before you respond. I think you'll find that the imperfection of these labels is exactly the point I was trying to argue. Except that in my opinion the labels are so imperfect that they are flawed. There are many instances in which these labels are useful, there are some in which they are oppressive, that is why I asked the question. I wanted people to give me their own personal opinions and insight.

If you don't like to think of them as 'oppressive' then you could think of them as 'misinterpreted' and place the blame on people as oposed to the label itself. But I think it's much of a muchness really. Society generally dictates what meaning a label has and there are many instances in which the majority are wrong. So maybe people aren't oppressed by the 'true' meanings of these labels, but they still might be oppressed by the false but generally accepted meaning of these labels.

Now for a quote from my dictionary...

"The horse-shoe crab is not a true crab" (!!!)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Rob on May 03, 2009, 10:21:55 PM
So how do you suggest we rectify this injustice?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on May 03, 2009, 10:22:37 PM
So how do you suggest we rectify this injustice?
We should start with a blanket ban on common nouns.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Rob on May 03, 2009, 10:23:54 PM
How do you go about that without identifying what those nouns are?

Or, in fact admitting that they are nouns in the first place...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on May 03, 2009, 10:27:19 PM
So how do you suggest we rectify this injustice?

People generally could become more intelligent and enlightened. But how anyone is going to try and make that happen is a mystery to me.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on May 03, 2009, 10:29:45 PM
Or, you know, with more effective labels.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Rob on May 03, 2009, 10:45:11 PM
And how would we identify these ultra enlightened people?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on May 03, 2009, 11:07:21 PM
How do you go about that without identifying what those nouns are?

Or, in fact admitting that they are nouns in the first place...
Common nouns (a label) are words to identify a person, place, thing, idea or state of being (more labels),
which are not common nouns or pronouns.   

Aw crap, that sentence is just full of labels....   :embarassed:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: [CPCTC]Mrs.Picklez on May 03, 2009, 11:34:01 PM
Why is everyone freaking out about labels? I mean really...?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: yosmark on May 03, 2009, 11:55:56 PM
Why is everyone freaking out about labels? I mean really...?

shudup you eefing metalfan ... metal heads are dirty, they have weird hair & they suck :buck2:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: [CPCTC]Mrs.Picklez on May 04, 2009, 12:26:32 AM
Why is everyone freaking out about labels? I mean really...?

shudup you eefing metalfan ... metal heads are dirty, they have weird hair & they suck :buck2:
</3
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: yosmark on May 04, 2009, 01:01:20 AM
Why is everyone freaking out about labels? I mean really...?

shudup you eefing metalfan ... metal heads are dirty, they have weird hair & they suck :buck2:
</3

... but but ... it was just a joke  :-\
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chris Con on May 04, 2009, 01:16:15 AM

I am gay. Well, i'm not 100% sure because sometimes i find myself emotionally attracted to girls that i wont be sexually attracted to. with guys, i have both sexual & emotional feelings for. I had my first crush on another boy when i was 5, but i didnt realize that it meant i was gay. a lot of my friends know but my family doesnt. actually, i think my sister does. people were very accepting because i made sure i trusted them before telling them, if that makes sense. being gay to me means...being gay! i wouldn't say i "wear" it very much. i break the gay stereotypes, i don't have a lisp or walk like a girl or have extremely gay mannerisms (not that there's anything wrong with that) or it's just not who i am. i am quite flamboyant sometimes. i'd say it defines my personality a bit, not as much as other people. i definitely like gay music in terms of the dolls and amanda, as for what other "gay music" is i don't really know what it is! i look up to amanda, of course, and i love ellen degeneres. tegan and sara are amazing too. i haven encountered prejudice from my friend's boyfriend. he was a fucking asshole. and once at school someone said "No fags allowed." i think that's it though....

does that answer your question? :]

i answered this question differently in format than most people, sorry!
also i am tired and wrote that pretty quickly... ahhh i need to stfu
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Astica on May 04, 2009, 09:31:11 AM
"Hey, doesnt this cafeteria have a "no fags allowed" rule?"
"They seem to have an open door policy for assholes though dont they"
"What the fuck did you say?!"
"*sigh* I'll repeat myself *stands up and fires gun at homophobes*"
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on May 04, 2009, 10:33:12 AM
...can I say this without being kicked hard in the shins?

Sometimes.... Often, in fact... the stereotypes are pretyy accurate. I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I PROMISE I'LL NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN!!!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 10:35:54 AM
KICK THE SHINS. HACK THE BONE!


After the whole choldhood things of "genitalia are icky" I went straight to liking boys and penises belonging to boys. I refer to myself as bisexual seeing as how I sometimes have pussy kicks to put it plainly. I'm definately bi with a preference to men and can't imagine having a lasting relationship with a woman. :B
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on May 04, 2009, 10:40:04 AM
NOT MY LEGS! MY BEAUTIFUL LEGS!!!

Sorry. I just meant, there really are a lot of very camp gay men around who really dig musicals and dress well. And there really are a lot of butch lesbians out there who dig doing DIY and other manly shit. Just as there are a lot of British people who drink extortionate amounts of tea and have bad teeth, a lot of over-weight American Bible-bashers, a lot of Jewish doctors with big noses - the stereotypes all come from somewhere.

As for the bi thing, my mate Josh thinks he might be bi because he wants rampant man-sex with Hugh Jackman. I pointed out that EVERYONE wants rampant sex with Hugh Jackman.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 10:42:13 AM
HAHAHHA.

I suppose there's a lot of striaght men who're really camp and like musicals and stuff and straight women who are butch. Sharing clichés FTW!!

Send him links to amazingly gay porn, says I.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: old news on May 04, 2009, 10:43:15 AM
On my year abroad, I got to know the other language assistants in Schleswig-Holstein quite well. There were three gay guys, one lesbian and three bi girls (I had to wonder if they had an agenda in who they sent to the North!). I mention this because the three gay guys were all totally different. One was flamboyant and bitchy, one was quiet and very clever, and one was quite blokish except he liked Eurovision. Certain stereotypes do hold true, but there is more than one stereotype, and people seem to be different combinations of stereotypes, rather than strictly adhering to them.

Are there stereotypes about bi people?

(Indja, T gave me a list of guys he wouldn't mind doing. I think Hugh Jackman may have been on that list. Can't blame him really.)

I'm definately bi with a preference to men and can't imagine having a lasting relationship with a woman. :B
Right with you on that one, Rad-Dar.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 10:47:29 AM
On my year abroad, I got to know the other language assistants in Schleswig-Holstein quite well. There were three gay guys, one lesbian and three bi girls (I had to wonder if they had an agenda in who they sent to the North!). I mention this because the three gay guys were all totally different. One was flamboyant and bitchy, one was quiet and very clever, and one was quite blokish except he liked Eurovision. Certain stereotypes do hold true, but there is more than one stereotype, and people seem to be different combinations of stereotypes, rather than strictly adhering to them.

Are there stereotypes about bi people?

I think bisexuals are just there, lurking among the people, waiting to pounce with their genitalia exposed.

I'm definately bi with a preference to men and can't imagine having a lasting relationship with a woman. :B
Right with you on that one, Rad-Dar.

Darragh Mc Hugh: Measuring RADness since 1994. Geddit? Rad-Dar? :0
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on May 04, 2009, 10:48:38 AM
I'm not saying it's reasonable to say that ONLY gay men/lesbians/british people/Americans/Jews can be like that, or that all of them are like that - just that to say it's totally outrageous to have those associations is kinda dumb. Like Dylan Moran says - "If someone says, 'I was at a dinner party the other day and everyone there was gay', I won't care. But I will immediately think of a group of elegant bald men carving the swan and crying because the pudding looks so beautiful".

And I already sent him some ^.^ I think he's mostly just curious about guys - he says he likes to look at them, but no really anything else.

And I can't imagine having a lasting relationship with a man or a woman - I'm sure as hell not asexual.

According to Our Lord The Wiki Of Pedia, Bi stereotypes are: "Bisexuals are commonly stereotyped as promiscuous and deceitful,[25] or bisexuality may be seen as a temporary condition when under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.[26] They may be seen as being gays who are either in denial or lying about their sexual orientation.[27] Conversely, some claim that everyone is bisexual,[28] thus dismissing bisexuality, heterosexuality and homosexuality as distinct sexual orientations."
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 10:51:01 AM
YESH. GAY PORN FOR ALL OF INDIE'S FRIENDS!! :D

I know gays who are actually repulsed by female nudity so like.. fuck that last sterotype.

Indie, you're a wikipedophile
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Wednesday Friday on May 04, 2009, 10:51:18 AM
Are there stereotypes about bi people?

Definitely. That they're "greedy" i.e. they can't make up their minds and just want the best of both worlds. And also that fat/ugly people become bi because they have to take whatever they can get.

Those are two that spring to mind, that don't really hold any basis in fact in my opinion.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 10:52:17 AM
I think the whole greedy thing seems like they're just sex pests. :T
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on May 04, 2009, 10:53:42 AM
We're not greedy. You homos and heteros are just jealous cos we've got natural charm and get laid more than you ;)

And Darragh, well done - you're my first ever sig-quote xD
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 10:54:48 AM
Yeah, b is a way cooler letter than h.

And this greatly joys my bowels.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Wednesday Friday on May 04, 2009, 11:13:36 AM
I think the "greedy" stereotype mainly stems from bitter, insecure people who are just jealous because bisexuals a) are probably having more fun/sex than them and b) aren't sexually repressed like them.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 11:15:14 AM
People in general are bitter. Unless they're bisexual.

Freedom of choice IS happiness.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on May 04, 2009, 11:16:30 AM
I think it's more about lack of understanding - there's like NEVER any bisexuals on TV, not like there are gay people, so I think people think it's like a new thing that emos made up so they could fuck each other when no-one else would fuck them.

Ok, so I cling on to the stereotypes when talking about emos. But then, they're like sub-human, so it's ok. JKS!!!!!11111oneone

But seriously though, I think people honestly believe that bisexuality isn't a real sexuality at all.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 11:24:57 AM
I also think part of it is that you can't have a bisexual realtionship. There could be two guys or girls who're bi but the relationship would be gay or lesbien.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on May 04, 2009, 11:26:14 AM
Ah, only if you're monogamous ;)

Ok, I'm not doing much to combat the stereotype, am I? I *am* promiscuous, unfaithful and greedy :\
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 11:28:32 AM
Well that means you're having two relationships, one gay and one straight.

You just happen to fall into the stereotype, ain't your fault.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on May 04, 2009, 11:29:34 AM
Nah, I don't mind - it means my "yay for labels" thing works out, because everything that's associated with bi-ness, I am. I mean, I *am* bi when under the influence of drink and drugs! And when I'm not!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 11:31:34 AM
Wouldn't it be easier to just wear a sign around your neck saying "HOMO IN DENIAL"?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: old news on May 04, 2009, 11:31:49 AM
(aaargh, you people type too quickly!)

A large amount of my (female) friends are bi, so I suppose I just got used to it, before I ended up joining them. I suspected for a long time that female sexuality was more fluid than male sexuality, which seemed reinforced when two of my bi male friends admitted they were actually gay, but I do know some actually bi guys too.

I think there is a degree of bitterness about it as well as a lack of understanding. Some people who are used to only liking guys or girls may not understand how someone can like both, and perhaps have a degree of envy for them based around that, because it means more options. Then again, there is the problem with the 'fake bisexuals', mostly girls who kiss other girls with the purpose of getting the guys excited. I know a few of my bi/lesbian friends are really annoyed about that (which hasn't been helped by Katy Perry), although some others think that all girls are bi when they have enough alcohol in them...I reserve judgement. I'm just bi alcohol or not :)

As for being greedy...well, it's not like we can help it! We are who we are.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on May 04, 2009, 11:33:29 AM
Wouldn't it be easier to just wear a sign around your neck saying "HOMO IN DENIAL"?

Ooh, with "HETERO IN DENIAL" on the other side, like a shop's OPEN/CLOSED sign!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Mister on May 04, 2009, 11:36:55 AM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
Full on gay.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?

I think they're pretty much simple...
I just don't like it when they ask "So whos the guy and the girl?"
its pretty fucking obvious that (well in my case) we're both dudes so it would be top and bottom asshole....

When did you first know you were gay?
Well, i guess i always knew since i was little. i had always wanted to be a girl but now i am very happy with my penis and wouldnt give it up for the world.  ^-^ Aslo, when i first started realizing that i like guys i started freaking out becuase everyone would tell me that being gay was wrong. So i couldnt really accept myself for a bit... and i tried dating girls too but it just never worked out. girls i am not romantically or sexually attracted to. but for some reason that doesnt stop me from messing around with a girl.  :uglystupid2: just dont show me your vagina....

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
I'm out. But not everyone knows I'm gay. I came out to my parents and siblings. But my outer family like aunts, uncles, cousins and such, they probably know but i havent confirmed it. But if they ask I wont hesitate to tell them.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
Well my parents didnt actually flip. They were just more shocked than anything. They're christian so they dont like my gayness. They also voted for prop 8. Suck doesnt it?
But all my five siblings but one took it okay.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?  
Weeellll....
It does mean a great deal to me. And i suppose i do "wear it" but not all over my body. i guess people could just tell from looking at me but i just have a small rainbow bracelet lol

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
Well, i guess my close friends would say that i do fall into them but i try to avoid them.
They can be funny but they can annoying as hell...

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
I think i do. I just really enjoy gay comedy and media becuase its something i can relate to and i feel most comfortable watching and listening to gay stuff  ;D

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
mmm... Well yeah like bigger gay icons like Margaret Cho, AFP, and ellen degeneres and such...
oh yeah and one of my gay best friends. hes just so open about it and will defend the gay community.
we girlfriends
 ;D

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
well i was teased a bit growing up but it kinda stopped in high school so everything is fine now.
 O0

Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 11:38:13 AM
Wouldn't it be easier to just wear a sign around your neck saying "HOMO IN DENIAL"?

Ooh, with "HETERO IN DENIAL" on the other side, like a shop's OPEN/CLOSED sign!

BRAVO, MY DEAR. I CHUCKLED.

Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on May 04, 2009, 11:38:50 AM
Wouldn't it be easier to just wear a sign around your neck saying "HOMO IN DENIAL"?

Ooh, with "HETERO IN DENIAL" on the other side, like a shop's OPEN/CLOSED sign!

BRAVO, MY DEAR. I CHUCKLED.


SCORE! I think I might actually make a sign like that, you know...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 11:40:06 AM
Make me one too! When you're being "HETERO IN DENIAL" I can be "HOMO IN DENIAL"
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: old news on May 04, 2009, 11:43:50 AM
This is one of my favourite topics on the Box  :D

even if some people reading the last few posts may think we just want a Shadowbox orgy
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 11:44:32 AM
I thought that's what we were aiming for. :T
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: old news on May 04, 2009, 11:45:21 AM
No objections here...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 11:46:26 AM
And so the I(ndie)'s have it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 11:48:09 AM
A chat with the sexually frustrated, eh? And I wasn't invited? D':
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on May 04, 2009, 12:46:00 PM
Probably completely irrelevant, but.

Two of my best friends are gay, I've known them since 1st year in secondary school and I love them to pieces.
Both of them went to the same primary school with this girl that they used to be close to.
Anyway, when they came out (at different times), this girl cried. Both times. And told everyone. Both times. Probably the most extreme reaction I've seen. It just annoyed me cos she sees them differently now, she just doesn't seem to get that they're the same as they always were except happier and more open.

There's also this girl in our group, she is the cousin of one of the guys. When the first guy told everyone, she changed towards him as well, and still almost judges him for it. She doesn't know about her cousin yet. we aren't keeping it secret or anything, it's just that no one has actually said it to her. And, everytime there is something said about it, just in general conversation, she ignores it. I think she just doesn't want to think that her cousin is gay.

And, a cousin of mine has no problem with gay men, but has this thing about lesbian women. I think she thinks that all of them are going to be attracted to her and make a move on her. But she doesn't realise that it is no more true than every man wants to be with her.

I actually have some pretty close minded friends, which is odd, given the group dynamics.
Anyway! That was a long rant about nothing.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 12:58:44 PM
Actually, now that you've brought friends into it I might share an online friend of mine's experiences. He's my best friend, online, and I adore him to bits. He's been gay for years and only last month told his closest friends who he only met less than a year ago when he went to college. He's told another five people and all of them are fine and one of them, who he KIND OF likes, told him he's bi but into this girl in their class.

I think I'm trying to say that if one person comes out, people in their group are more likely to come out if they see that people won't shun them. It's like a domino effect or throwing a rock in a pond when the ripples start spreading out.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on May 04, 2009, 01:05:13 PM
Well, there was a couple of years (maybe 2) between the first and the second. And, I assume that the second knew at the time of the first one. I think he was just scared of our reaction, even though we were all fine with the first one.
For some reason, he seemed especially scared of my reaction, even though I was completely fine with the first one and it even made us closer.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 01:08:09 PM
Maybe the closeness that had developed between you and the first one was what did it. Maybe the second didn't want to get in the way of that and thought that they might by coming out.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 04, 2009, 01:48:00 PM
Without an invite, how do I know which gay bar to infiltrate? D:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Half Mar on May 05, 2009, 05:31:19 PM
I thought that's what we were aiming for. :T

I attempted it in the chat last night, but it turns out everyone was already sexually frustrated, so the fun part was already over.

*cough* :P
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on May 06, 2009, 09:37:05 PM
According to Our Lord The Wiki Of Pedia, Bi stereotypes are: "Bisexuals are commonly stereotyped as promiscuous and deceitful,[25] or bisexuality may be seen as a temporary condition when under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.[26] They may be seen as being gays who are either in denial or lying about their sexual orientation.[27] Conversely, some claim that everyone is bisexual,[28] thus dismissing bisexuality, heterosexuality and homosexuality as distinct sexual orientations."

It's true, these sterotypes are quite common in my experience. It might interest you to know that Freud believed that all people are actually bisexual from a base psychological standpoint and slowly become homosexual or heterosexual through a process of social conditioning.

I suspected for a long time that female sexuality was more fluid than male sexuality

I think that's a very dangerous misinterpretation. Males are just more likely to be sexually repressed. A lot of this has to do with homophobia being used as a tool to enforce stereotypes of masculinty. The idea is that homosexual men can't be traditionally masculine and men who aren't traditionally masculine must therefore be homosexual. And that's a bad thing for some reason.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: old news on May 06, 2009, 09:41:51 PM
I suspected for a long time that female sexuality was more fluid than male sexuality

I think that's a very dangerous misinterpretation. Males are just more likely to be sexually repressed. A lot of this has to do with homophobia being used as a tool to enforce stereotypes of masculinty. The idea is that homosexual men can't be traditionally masculine and men who aren't traditionally masculine must therefore be homosexual. And that's a bad thing for some reason.
Mmm, I'm beginning to agree with this view more than my old position. Especially after having had a few (straight) guys admit to me certain guys they really wouldn't mind getting off with. Certainly, the fear of being homosexual seems to be the key issue for many, rather than actually having feelings for guys. And if I recall correctly, wasn't the sexuality situation basically reversed in ancient Greece? Society has a lot to answer for.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on May 06, 2009, 09:57:23 PM
I suspected for a long time that female sexuality was more fluid than male sexuality

I think that's a very dangerous misinterpretation. Males are just more likely to be sexually repressed. A lot of this has to do with homophobia being used as a tool to enforce stereotypes of masculinty. The idea is that homosexual men can't be traditionally masculine and men who aren't traditionally masculine must therefore be homosexual. And that's a bad thing for some reason.
Mmm, I'm beginning to agree with this view more than my old position. Especially after having had a few (straight) guys admit to me certain guys they really wouldn't mind getting off with. Certainly, the fear of being homosexual seems to be the key issue for many, rather than actually having feelings for guys. And if I recall correctly, wasn't the sexuality situation basically reversed in ancient Greece? Society has a lot to answer for.
I think males haven't had the same kind of sexual revolution as females in modern society. That's why it's a little easier for women to identify themselves as bisexual and admit attraction to the same gender than it is for males. It's something I've had a lot of arguments with particular women about. They're not usually the strident feminists or the girls who are completely indifferent to the whole thing but the ones in between. But some people have trouble with the idea that just because males are in positions of power doesn't mean they are liberated.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Zephyr on May 07, 2009, 12:18:27 PM
It's probably just easier for women to admit to each other because women are generally more accepting of everything. It's possible that men have the exact same kinds of feelings, but think it's easier to just ignore them.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Rob on May 07, 2009, 12:35:34 PM
I have never had the slightest desire to kiss a dude.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 07, 2009, 12:51:24 PM
I'm sorry for you, old chap.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on May 07, 2009, 05:21:20 PM
It's probably just easier for women to admit to each other because women are generally more accepting of everything. It's possible that men have the exact same kinds of feelings, but think it's easier to just ignore them.
oh, you should meet some of my female ''friends'' and relatives!  :violent1: more accepting my ass.....
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: yosmark on May 07, 2009, 07:31:54 PM
I have never had the slightest desire to kiss a dude.

Oh gozh what is Ronan going to say when he reads this... :o
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cheddars Cousin on May 07, 2009, 09:37:11 PM
Obligation is not desire...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on May 07, 2009, 09:55:23 PM
I have never had the slightest desire to kiss a dude.

Good for you.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Wednesday Friday on May 08, 2009, 01:20:11 AM
The problem I have with labels like Gay and Straight is that they frame sexuality in very strict, limited terms and foreclose possibility for variation outside of those terms. I really don't think sexuality is that simple, I think it's actually quite fluid and that sexuality varies along a whole spectrum. Having those labels is still useful to some extent though. In the past when hetero-normativty was a far, far more oppressive and pervasive paradigm than it is now, having people come out and proclaim their gayness publicly was really revolutionary and created a community and galvanised a movement that was able to fight for acceptance and social change. I think we as a society now need to start broadening our definitions of sexuality further, to acknowledge the full range of human sexuality, not just limiting people to 2 (or 3, but I still don't really think that Bisexual label is fully accepted) categories.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Zephyr on May 08, 2009, 05:51:38 AM
It's probably just easier for women to admit to each other because women are generally more accepting of everything. It's possible that men have the exact same kinds of feelings, but think it's easier to just ignore them.
oh, you should meet some of my female ''friends'' and relatives!  :violent1: more accepting my ass.....

yeah, unfortunately there are also a lot of close minded women and fortunately also a lot of open minded men
as a general rule it's still true though (which probably explains why most "gay icons" are female)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Alyss on May 08, 2009, 03:18:26 PM
What the hell crawled up your ass and died?
I didn't die.

So what you're saying is... that you crawled up your OWN ass.
Good for you, being so flexible.  :D

I disagree with you on sexuality being created by nuture and not nature, but this is from my own experience... And there's no proof either way. I do think that your sexuality and gender impact your experiences and circumstances, and can, in a way, affect your personality. But I also think that you misunderstood what Niels meant... He meant that he won't do certain things or react in a certain way that is stereotypically gay, instead being himself (or his understanding of himself, if you want to get philosophical). He doesn't want people to look at him and think "gay," but look at him and think "Niels."
Well thank you, I did used to be an Olympic gymnast. And I didn't say it was purely nuture, amigo. "circumstances and experiences".
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on May 08, 2009, 04:08:27 PM
Joining thread.

Love is love, you know?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Devery on May 09, 2009, 10:49:04 AM
Late to the party.


This thread is gay.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 09, 2009, 03:01:35 PM
It had sex with the have you ever thread and answered yes to all the questions.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on May 09, 2009, 03:38:13 PM
(Thanks for the format Niels. Nifty.)

So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I'm a lesbian. Not really a fan of the word though.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
I can see how they could be oppressive, but I think they're more useful than harmful.

When did you first know you were gay?
I didn't really put a name to it until recently. But when I was little I wanted to be Han Solo instead of playing house, so...

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
I'm only out to my mom and sister. I told my sister first. It was funny because she could tell that something was on my mind.
I started, "Well, I'm not sure how obvious this is but..."
She interrupted, "It's Nick isn't it?"
"...no..."
"Is it Ethan?"
"Erm...no..."
"Andrew?"
"Ok, you obviously have no idea where this is going."

My mom wasn't really suprised. She said that she and my dad used to wonder about it when I was younger.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
My mom and sister were really cool with it. My mom just said that she was really sad for me, just because she knew of all the hardships I would face in my future. Really, nothing's changed. I'm glad I told somebody. I feel more comfortable with myself.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality? 
I really hate rainbows, too. (Reminds me of the Demetri Martin joke  ;D)

I'm Bianca. I can't say it affects my personality much other than the fact that I like girls instead of boys...

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I see myself falling into a lot of them...But there are some that I definitely do not fit into. For example, I'm not a big fan of cats. At all. On the other hand, I love plaid. Love love love love.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
I guess so. I mean, I watch the L Word, listen to Tegan and Sara and Uh Huh Her...But these things have straight followers too. I have straight friends that discuss the L Word with me (yeah, I'm a dork).

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Honestly, Tegan and Sara. I know, me and a million other people, but I can't help it. And I honestly do look up to Amanda. Other than those three...not so much, I guess.

I look up to these people because they're different from what's "normal", but still consistently act as themselves. People don't do that very often, and I find it extremely respectable. They have other very respectable qualities too, but that's the main thing that I like.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Not aimed at me, but yes, sadly I have.

Some friends of mine have said some horrid things about transgender people. (Cue banjo music) 'Round these parts people like usin' homophobic remarks as insults. Not just using the term "gay", which they do use frequently, but also some other really nasty ways of saying it. Oh, and people around here like comparing it to bestiality.

Which is why I don't plan on being publicly out any time soon.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Alyss on May 09, 2009, 10:11:54 PM
Late to the party.


This thread is gay.
qft
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cheddars Cousin on May 10, 2009, 01:38:34 AM
Is it just coincidence that Gayness rhymes with Anus?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on May 10, 2009, 02:20:21 AM
Is it just coincidence that Gayness rhymes with Anus?

Yes.

You can always start an 'anus' thread if you like.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Ryan James on May 10, 2009, 03:48:41 AM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
Gay

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
I think that people need a way to articulate their wants and needs to others. Labels can be a pain in the ass, but in some cases they can also be useful.

When did you first know you were gay?
of course I've always been gay, but I guess I first figured out that I was around 7th grade.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
I'm out to pretty much everyone except my family, I don't really know how they'd react, but it definitely would not be good. My mom is a devout Catholic soooo . . .

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
My friends didn't really freak out too much, I don't really think anyone was all that shocked. I guess I had told most of my close friends by sophomore year of high school, and probably everyone except my family knew by Junior year.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality? 
I think it's definitely given me a different perspective on things especially on topics like acceptance and human rights, because I've experienced prejudice first hand. I try not to fly rainbow flags out the window, but to be honest I have a lot of fun going to gay bars or a pride festival, it's just fun to be around a lot of people who share a similar perspective on things.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
Well in some ways I do. I dye the shit out of my hair. I wear lots of American Apparel. I'm a theatre major. Okay, so maybe I fall into a lot of them, but it's really who I am! oh well.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
Well I mean Amanda Palmer is def. a queer icon of sorts. I love Kathy Griffin, I know, I know. Project Runway anyone? I mean I guess I do, but it's not everything I listen to, watch, or read.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
hmmm well I'm not really sure. I have a lot of respect for Amanda. I would say I'm most impressed by talented folks - if that answers the question?


Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
of course, I can't tell you how many times I've been called a fag or a homo or dozens of other things. I was holding hands with my then-boyfriend at a carnival about a year and a half ago, and I leaned over and kissed him, nothing vulgar, just having fun and fooling around, and someone who WORKED there half-yelled that he was "Glad he hadn't brought his kids". I honestly feel that gay men get the prejudice worse than the lesbian community - which isn't to undermine any prejudice anyone feels, transgender people go through more shit than I could ever imagine. It's probably true that I'm more visible about being gay than a lot of people, but if a straight couple can kiss and hold hands in public then so can I.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Mr. Leave Me Alone on May 10, 2009, 04:02:03 AM

So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I JUST DON'T KNOW ANYMOOOORE. D:

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
It depends, I think. And clearly a lot of people have a lot of different opinions and now I can't really remember what I thought in the first place.

When did you first know you were gay?
The first like...sexual images I ever encountered were of women. I don't think I ALWAYS knew that I liked girls but I think that I've known for a long time. I can remember thinking I could not imagine marrying a man when I was a little kid.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
Different things to different people...blah blah blah.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
When I told my friends, they thought it was attention seeking because that seemed to be a common thing to say for attention or something...Then I got a girlfriend and they did.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality? 
I don't know. One of my friends asked me if I was a lesbian because I'm not 'intimidatingly girly' but not...not girly either. So maybe I do? But I cannot tell.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
Again, I can't tell.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
No. My ex did. She'd listen to something and then I'd go 'oh, they're all gay. Isn't that nice?' and she'd be like 'Amazing, how much is the CD/book/whatever?'

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Suuuure. I can't really be bothered saying who or anything because then I'll have to explain things individually, but there are some lovely people who just make me feel so glad to be who I am and to like what I like and I look up to them.


Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
I can't think of anything particularly specific.
I suppose not.
Once I was riding my bike in my new girls-school uniform and a guy from my old school rode up next to me and went 'I see you've changed to the dyke school?' but that's not really what I'm meant to be thinking of, is it?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Alyss on May 10, 2009, 08:49:27 AM
Is it just coincidence that Gayness rhymes with Anus?
No, clearly a conspiracy.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Johnny on May 10, 2009, 03:03:43 PM

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
Well I mean Amanda Palmer is def. a queer icon of sorts. I love Kathy Griffin, I know, I know. Project Runway anyone? I mean I guess I do, but it's not everything I listen to, watch, or read.


oh god.
me. too.

 O0
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: nottheonethatscrazy on May 10, 2009, 05:04:08 PM
It had sex with the have you ever thread and answered yes to all the questions.
HAHAHAHA.
I love you, dude. :D :D :D
I'm quoting you in my sig.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on May 13, 2009, 02:44:33 PM
I missed it. EFF. I shouldn't have left the box so long. ;;
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on May 13, 2009, 03:39:52 PM
So, are you gay?
yes.  i've been a professional lesbian for twenty years.  before that, i freelanced as a lesbian.

 Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
just L.

 Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
useful as description, useless politically, or until they are used as things to hide behind or to force others into inclusion.

 When did you first know you were gay?
julie andrews told me.  of course she thought she was just doing a movie but i took one look at that novice habit and i was a worshipper of sappho from that day on.  judy garland also whispered impure thoughts to my child mind.  as did my neighbor, who was my age and experimental.

 Are you in or out of the closet?
i came out loudly and embarrassingly in college and formed a gay student union with one other gay gal and a gay boy from the theater dept.  no one else would join because no one was gay back then, including my girlfriend.

 If it's the latter then how did you come out?
my mother read my journal and found out and tried to have me committed.  since it was the early nineties and not 1956, everyone laughed at her.

 Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
most people didn't care.  those that did, i took great pleasure in annoying.

 Are you not gay but have had 'gay experiences'? (details)
i've experimented twice in school with heterosexuality, but i was really, really drunk.

  What does being gay mean to you?
it means i sleep with girls instead of guys.  oh, and i have no fashion sense but i can build shit in my sleep.  haha.

 Do you 'wear' it?
i wear tattoos and tee shirts.  i AM gay.  if it shows, ok.

 Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
not really but i can spot them a mile off and they make me laugh just as hard as other stereotypes.  i'm sure i fit into a couple of stereotypes but they are subtle ones, other than the wallet chain and the motorcycle and the tattoos and the female holding my hand.

 How much does it define your personality?
well, i'm a female supremacist....so i suppose i'd listen to a woman before a guy, speaking to me equally.  not saying that is fair, just saying it's probably true.

  Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
never heard of 'queercore.'  i used to have a 'pansy division' cd.  i hate most lesbian-centric music, though.  i like what i like, music is misused as political.  it's entertainment first.

 Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
i have people i look up to but it is because they are people who do something worth looking up to and not because they are in a community.  if they happen to be part of a community, it is usually because that community looks up to them too, and therefore claims them.

 Have you ever encountered prejudice?
yes.

 If so, what kind?
oh, the usual.  social, racial, sexual, etc.  plus i am covered with tattoos, like i said a time or three.  there are all kinds of prejudice...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: baser_suggests on May 16, 2009, 02:40:34 PM
I'm really digging reading what everyone has to say about sexuality. So, my turn.

So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I call myself a lesbian. I CAN be attracted to males, yes, but I am not going to go out of my way to date one as I do with females. So, while I could say I am bisexual, I don't simply because I am only actively seeking the ladies. Never ruling out a guy, tho.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
I think any type of label has the potential to be oppresive, to be used to gloss over the beauty of human complexity so people won't be so frightened of it. However, these labels can also help people better understand sexuality as whole, I think.

When did you first know you were gay?
A long arse time ago, though it came along with the usual denial b.s.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
I am out to friends AND family. I came out at 16, and I told everybody. I was not going hide anything about myself for the sake of anyone else, no matter how much pain it caused me. When I look back on it now, I think going about it in that way helped me a lot.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
Friends (with one exception, who thought I was faking) were perfectly fine with it, as I expected. My Mother just thought it odd. My Father didn't say a word about it, and still hasn't, really.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality? 
The gay part isn't an important one if you look at the whole of my being. Therefore, it does not define my personality at all.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
Frankly, whether or not I fall into sterotypes doesn't matter to me. If I happen to fall into a stereotype, so be it. I am who I am regardless of how society or anyone else views that.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
I listen to a lot of queer artists, and I listen to a lot of artists that aren't. That kind of thing is secondary. I mean, sexuality doesn't really change the overall quality of the music.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Anyone who makes a point to fight the opression that the community faces.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Oh yes. In my little city, there is one evangelical church in particular that great many people I know go to that teaches homosexuality is a sin, and I have been told politely (well, as politely as someone can say that sort of thing) that I will go to hell for being gay. It angers me a great deal, but I don't let them phase me too much.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Tiervexx on May 17, 2009, 04:46:25 PM
So, are you gay?
Yar

Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
G

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
It's convenient to be able to describe things easily.

When did you first know you were gay?
Sophomore year in High school I realized that I wanted to kiss a certain guy so I thought I was bisexual.  About a year later I was being pursued by a couple attractive girls and I realized that even though I really liked them, I just was never going to like a girl "like that".

Are you in or out of the closet?
Mostly out.  Not that I'd eagerly tell future employers though...

If it's the latter then how did you come out?
I just told my mom over dinner.  She did not believe me at first but she caught on.  I told my dad a few years later and he took it much better than everyone expected.  He even seemed kind of surprise that I'd feel the need to tell him (I didn't, my mom put me up to it.)

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
Most people reacted well.  Important ones did.

Are you not gay but have had 'gay experiences'? (details)
I've never had a heterosexual experience and don't plan to.  However I have made a few gal pals think I might be bisexual simply because I'm super cuddly and affectionate.

  What does being gay mean to you?

I <3 penis but am very vaginophobic.

Do you 'wear' it?
I'm hyper masculine.  It's not just that I don't come off as gay, I'm 6'2" 230lbs of sold muscle and have a beard.  I also talk with a moderately deep voice.

 Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
There are no gay stereotypes in my behavior, appearance or manner.  This isn't because I consciously avoid them it's just how I act.  My one stereotype is that I don't like sports.

How much does it define your personality?
I'm not sure.  I don't think it does very much.  It is worth mentioning though that I was raised primary around girls and tend to feel a lot more comfortable around them than guys.

  Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
No, I primary listen to heavy metal.  AFP/DD is more of the exception than the rule.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
I have a lot of respect for people that came out back in the 80s and earlier when we where still openly hated by almost everyone.  Even in the 90s it was pretty bad I guess.

 Have you ever encountered prejudice?

Yes.  In 6th grade I was very small and girly because of a late puberty and was picked on constantly for seeming gay though that stopped when I finally hit puberty and became far more muscular with a much deeper voice.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: guuurrrrrllltakeiteasy on May 17, 2009, 04:55:22 PM
So, are you gay?
yes.  i've been a professional lesbian for twenty years.  before that, i freelanced as a lesbian.

Ahahahaha, that is the awesomestestestnessest answer I've ever read. Ever.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: imaginary friend on May 17, 2009, 08:39:44 PM
Is it just coincidence that Gayness rhymes with Anus?

Yes.

You can always start an 'anus' thread if you like.

There's a colon thread in Anarchy. It's not about what you'd think it would be about, however.

#@!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: monkey on May 17, 2009, 08:45:16 PM
So, are you gay?
Totally.

Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
Fag.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
I've never thought about it.

When did you first know you were gay?
I dunno. When I was about eleven and I tried to hump some guy, I guess.

Are you in or out of the closet?
Out, with a tactful foot inside.

If it's the latter then how did you come out?
I brought my boyfriend home.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
Nothing changed.

Are you not gay but have had 'gay experiences'? (details)
n/a

What does being gay mean to you?
Not much.

Do you 'wear' it?
I don't think so.

 Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I don't do anything.

How much does it define your personality?
I don't know.

  Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
If it's good.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Not especially.

 Have you ever encountered prejudice?
No.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: freddieismyqueen on May 18, 2009, 03:49:46 AM
So, are you gay?
Most decidedly.

Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I'm the L part.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
Not hardly. If something exists, it's going to be called something. Words are made to describe and labels are just words. I don't think that having those words used to describe a particular aspect of who I am is any more oppressive than the labels designed to proclaim that I am a woman, I am a brunette, I am a 20-something, whatever. It's just describing one part of who I am. It doesn't bother me at all.

When did you first know you were gay?
When I was a little kid, I always played with the boys at recess and chased little girls. When I was nine, I was unnecessarily fascinated by Scary Spice. When I was 11, we had a sex ed demonstration in which 'gay' was described. I was just like, "Oh, that's what that is." but people at school were really mean about it. I prayed they would not say that I was gay and was actually relieved when they chose to call another girl in my class horrible names and shun her because they thought she was a lesbian. I feel really horrible about it now...because of that, though, I was convinced I could just NOT be gay if I chose. In eighth grade, I had a huge crush on a girl I played basketball with and repressed that as hard as I could. I dated guys through much of high school then finally, in my senior year, I just went ahead and admitted to myself that I couldn't change who I was or who I was attracted to.

Are you in or out of the closet?
I'm out to my family and friends completely. I don't go out of my way to tell people and tend to refer to my significant others in gender neutral terms when in mixed company. If someone comes right out and asks me though, I won't lie. It's really not in my best interest to broadcast the fact to the world around here though; Ashland, KY is not the most accepting community out there.

If it's the latter then how did you come out?
To my friends, I just told them. A few of them were surprised at first and said that after they really thought about it, they should have known. For my family, I actually performed in a production of "The Laramie Project" and talked about how important tolerance was to me with my family. We had a long discussion about it and then I told them this play really affected me a lot because I identify as a lesbian. My family said they'd known for a while. My mom told me not to let it be the one thing I choose to define myself, to just be myself and not worry about broadcasting it to the world or changing the way I am just because of one single, insignificant quality.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
Well, I do have a really good friend who's still convinced it's just a phase...like, four years after I came out. She's a very conservative Christian and refuses to believe that I'm gay.

What does being gay mean to you?
Basically it just means that I date girls and have no interest in anything beyond friendship with males. I just can't forge that kind of connection with them.

Do you 'wear' it?
Not really. I'm on the more feminine side of the spectrum and people tend to just think I'm artsy or something.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I don't go out of my way to avoid any gay stereotypes, I just do what I want to do and like what I like. Apparently I'm into a lot of "lesbian music", but aside from that, I don't really seem to fit stereotypes.

How much does it define your personality?
It doesn't define my personality. It really just affects who I date.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
Not really. I listen to everything.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
A theatre director I work with in my area is openly gay and went to Mass. to be married a few years back. He is also a board member on the Human Right Commission in my area and does a lot for the community.

Have you ever encountered prejudice?
Yes, actually. While I was doing "The Laramie Project", area people were outraged by the show and were very militant anti-gay people about it. I was quoted in the newspaper and someone looked me up on myspace and sent very horrible messages to me. Additionally, Fred Phelps came to protest a Gay Straight Alliance in the area and he and his followers yelled at all of us supporting the group that we were going to Hell. That was lovely.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on May 24, 2009, 12:13:43 PM
http://www.imfromdriftwood.com/ (http://www.imfromdriftwood.com/)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Holmes on June 01, 2009, 05:12:46 AM
So, are you gay?
I like girls...

Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
Haven't managed to actually say the words yet.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
Well I'm not normally one to pigeonhole, but...

When did you first know you were gay?
I first noticed things like that when I was 12

Are you in or out of the closet?
In. Well, obviously people now know on here.
My boyfriend really shouldn't find out...

If it's the latter then how did you come out?
Not yet.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
Well, I told my best friend and she told me she had no problem with it, to be honest I think she knew anyway. cause every time I walk with her to college I ALWAYS make her go past the hot english teacher's room, no matter how much time it adds on to our journey.

Are you not gay but have had 'gay experiences'? (details)
No gay experiences as yet.

What does being gay mean to you?
It's just another aspect of a big personality picture. It's not integral, but I'm happy it's there.

Do you 'wear' it?
I don't think so.

 Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I don't fall into gay stereotypes except for the musical part.

How much does it define your personality?
It doesn't.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
Ha. Yes, though not consciously. I get into one band, who lead me to another, and to another. Turns out there's at least one lesbian in each!

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
I'd like to say Amanda, cause she wears everything on her sleeve and she doesn't make a big deal out of it at all.

Have you ever encountered prejudice?
No.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: 85283-071 on June 08, 2009, 04:06:12 AM
I'm straight. I find such labels very useful unless I encounter someone that thinks the prejudices associated with certain states of being invalidate those states. They are often hard headed and defensive. For the more calm among us, labels are how we decide with whom to set up a friend. They can be useful in informing oneself of one's own chances in pursuing a romantic interest.

I knew I was straight since I was aware of sexuality. I had strong, albeit undefined drive toward certain female babysitters when I was not yet old enough to attend kindergarten.

As a straight man, I am out of the closet, but it has not always been that way. I had to pretend to be gay for a fair bit if time.

I am not defined by my sexuality, by my sexuality is well defined. I do not adhere to straight male stereotypes, but many of them fit. The definition has nothing to do with those stereotypes. I am straight because I am attracted, exclusively, to females. I always have been. If someone is attracted, exclusively, to members of one's own sex, that person is gay. If the term "exclusively" does not describe the state of a person's attraction to sexes, the person is bisexual. Unless someone is a slave and/or fuck drone, that state should not define him or her.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on June 08, 2009, 10:21:39 PM
I'll admit, I have sort of wondered if you (Mr. skyyikwawks'k ) had ever felt pressured to
maintain a particular illusion while working in a certain sort of establishment.  I am reminded
of a line in that cinematic classic, Coyote Ugly: "Appear available, but never be available..."
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: 85283-071 on June 08, 2009, 10:46:41 PM
Pressured would be a strong word. I felt well-advised to maintian that illusion, and it wasn't just to impress the customers. Every workplace has a culture, and that sort of workplace has a very strong culture. It was good politics to be seen as gay, and... I wanted to see things from inside the fishbowl. It's very hard to hide the force that is my sexuality though, and clues about my straightness emerged... especially as Troy's interest in me increased.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on June 09, 2009, 05:55:05 AM
I'm straight. I find such labels very useful unless I encounter someone that thinks the prejudices associated with certain states of being invalidate those states.

I think that's a pretty good answer.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Tiervexx on June 09, 2009, 08:55:06 PM

As for the bi thing, my mate Josh thinks he might be bi because he wants rampant man-sex with Hugh Jackman. I pointed out that EVERYONE wants rampant sex with Hugh Jackman.

LOL true in my case!

And yeah... I think you can still say you are exclusive hetero or homosexual even if there are extreme examples that contradict that.

My two best friends are big dykes but they'd still have lots of sex with Antonio Banderas.  One of them also REALLY likes Johnny Depp.

Personally I think I'm just too vaginaphobic to ever actually have sex with a girl but I'd certainly consider Angelina Jolie, Amanda Palmer, or Katherine Moennig.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on June 09, 2009, 08:58:35 PM

As for the bi thing, my mate Josh thinks he might be bi because he wants rampant man-sex with Hugh Jackman. I pointed out that EVERYONE wants rampant sex with Hugh Jackman.

LOL true in my case!

And yeah... I think you can still say you are exclusive hetero or homosexual even if there are extreme examples that contradict that.

My two best friends are big dykes but they'd still have lots of sex with Antonio Banderas.  One of them also REALLY likes Johnny Depp.

Personally I think I'm just too vaginaphobic to ever actually have sex with a girl but I'd certainly consider Angelina Jolie, Amanda Palmer, or Katherine Moennig.

Kate is a definate...aslo check out Kaia Wilson, man she is hot.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Holmes on June 10, 2009, 01:24:50 AM
fuck it let's not lie. I'm gay!

congratulations Shadowbox, you're the first to know.

I really should tell my boyfriend.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: 85283-071 on June 10, 2009, 01:45:45 AM
...and after I gave you some of the best handjob advice that has ever been given!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: nottheonethatscrazy on June 10, 2009, 02:31:40 AM
fuck it let's not lie. I'm gay!

congratulations Shadowbox, you're the first to know.

I really should tell my boyfriend.
Haha, yeah.
That would be a good thing to do.
How are you going to tell him, though?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: imaginary friend on June 10, 2009, 02:46:20 AM
fuck it let's not lie. I'm gay!

congratulations Shadowbox, you're the first to know.

I really should tell my boyfriend.
Haha, yeah.
That would be a good thing to do.
How are you going to tell him, though?

she should show him. with her hottest friend. he'll love her forever. trust me. O0


 :D

#@!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Holmes on June 10, 2009, 08:26:52 AM
fuck it let's not lie. I'm gay!

congratulations Shadowbox, you're the first to know.

I really should tell my boyfriend.
Haha, yeah.
That would be a good thing to do.
How are you going to tell him, though?

she should show him. with her hottest friend. he'll love her forever. trust me. O0


 :D

#@!

Haha, I might just do that!
I have no idea how I'm going to tell him. I'm leaving for university in a few months so I think i'll keep going until then, and finally get a chance to be out from September. New city, new start and all that.

...and after I gave you some of the best handjob advice that has ever been given!

That advice came in really handy (pun intended) at the time, thank you!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on June 10, 2009, 09:41:53 AM
fuck it let's not lie. I'm gay!

congratulations Shadowbox, you're the first to know.

I really should tell my boyfriend.
Haha, yeah.
That would be a good thing to do.
How are you going to tell him, though?

she should show him. with her hottest friend. he'll love her forever. trust me. O0


 :D

#@!

Haha, I might just do that!
I have no idea how I'm going to tell him. I'm leaving for university in a few months so I think i'll keep going until then, and finally get a chance to be out from September. New city, new start and all that.

Just don't get, like, a Marina, then Tim would walk right in and...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Holmes on June 10, 2009, 09:53:19 AM
fuck it let's not lie. I'm gay!

congratulations Shadowbox, you're the first to know.

I really should tell my boyfriend.
Haha, yeah.
That would be a good thing to do.
How are you going to tell him, though?

she should show him. with her hottest friend. he'll love her forever. trust me. O0


 :D

#@!

Haha, I might just do that!
I have no idea how I'm going to tell him. I'm leaving for university in a few months so I think i'll keep going until then, and finally get a chance to be out from September. New city, new start and all that.

Just don't get, like, a Marina, then Tim would walk right in and...

hahaha!! that could never happen. It's one thing being gay, but another thing finding someone who actually likes me back!
plus i'd never cheat. only if leisha hailey were to come to manchester would i ever consider cheating  O0
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: amarasays on June 11, 2009, 02:37:12 PM
*raises hand*
i am!
no one really knows, except for my closest friends, and my parents and sister.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Alyss on June 12, 2009, 06:11:02 PM
*raises hand*
i am!
no one really knows, except for my closest friends, and my parents and sister.
lol little britain much?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: marci on June 19, 2009, 07:26:51 AM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
Homo-a-go-go. (lesbian)

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
Meh, I think it's more useful than oppressive.

When did you first know you were gay?
Maybe 7? I knew I was different, but thought you had to be "diagnosed" with the gay.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
I will never ever lie about it. Ever. I will never refer to my wife as my "friend". But I'm also not talking about being gay 24-7.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
My dad struggled a bit at first....but he came around and is the biggest supporter of things that make me happy.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?
Not sure how to answer this one...Being gay to me is a small part of who I am.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
Hrm...I guess I look like a lesbian, but other than that...I don't know! :)

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
queercore + riotgrrrl music saved my life as a teenager. I grew up in the country and had no friends. All i had was music and I realized that there was a really special community of people just like me out in the world somewhere.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Not really..

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
I have to say I've been lucky in this regard. None that has left scars.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on June 19, 2009, 08:13:39 AM
Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
Hrm...I guess I look like a lesbian, but other than that...I don't know! :)


Haha. You do look a little like a lesbian.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on June 19, 2009, 12:58:08 PM
Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
Hrm...I guess I look like a lesbian, but other than that...I don't know! :)


Haha. You do look a little like a lesbian.

I saw a really butch lesbian the other day wearing one of those "This Is What A Feminist Looks Like" t-shirts, which cracked me the fuck up.


In other news:

I was talking about being bi to my cousin the other day, and she said that she was wholly unsurprised by it because I "never seemed straight". She didn't think I was gay, but apparently I just give off this vibe of being... wobbly? I dunno. But it's a like recurring thing, that people I come out to are totally unsurprised.

And then, I was thinking the other day, I have this tendency to think of the world as being like split into Girls, Boys and Me - like I've never really thought of myself as a girl-proper, I've always been pretty sort of seperate. I don't mean like just cos I'm not a girly-girl or whatever - just a lot of the things that seem automatic for even the most not-what-you-think-when-you-think-"girl" (can't think of a word for it...) just don't apply to me.

/musing-out-loud
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on June 19, 2009, 06:47:11 PM
Today I was talking to my Dad. He was talking about how all homosexuals he's met are really intelligent and sharp. I'm not out to him, so I was just trying super hard to not just start laughing. It made me happy. I dunno. Random.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Edicius on June 22, 2009, 12:27:38 AM
This was as good as I expected.

I expected a lot.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on June 26, 2009, 07:56:15 AM
Quote from: marci

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
Hrm...I guess I look like a lesbian, but other than that...I don't know! :)


A fricken hot lesbian.
You have Daniela Sea's eyes.
You're gorgeous
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: tw2113 on June 28, 2009, 03:36:43 AM
straight.

Gave some thought to the possibility and just never felt anything towards males. It's just not there.

That said, there are some guys out there that i would have no problem saying are attractive people and that I would go for them if I were into guys.

Females only for me.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on June 28, 2009, 08:57:15 AM
straight.

Gave some thought to the possibility and just never felt anything towards males. It's just not there.

That said, there are some guys out there that i would have no problem saying are attractive people and that I would go for them if I were into guys.

Females only for me.
At least you considered all options  O0
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: marci on June 28, 2009, 12:40:05 PM
Quote from: marci

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
Hrm...I guess I look like a lesbian, but other than that...I don't know! :)


A fricken hot lesbian.
You have Daniela Sea's eyes.
You're gorgeous

Hrm..thanks  :embarassed:  ^-^
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: guuurrrrrllltakeiteasy on June 29, 2009, 11:22:47 AM
When I came out my whole family found out because my mother likes to gossip, well, the family gossips. We're Filipino. Filipino's gossip. So anyway, the next family party I go to I have like 8 people coming up to me 'Sean, we're very, very proud of you. We all knew. I mean, when you were a kid you were so obsessed with Xena and Sailor Moon.' Yes, I know you knew I was gay. It's not like I tried to hide it or anything. But so many of them kept telling me "It's okay, Sean. We still love you, we all knew." Uhmm thanks? I kind of figured that you weren't homophobic people since most of you have gay friends and talk about them, and wish you had a gay family member because gays are awesome. All-in-all, I found it a bit irritating because people kept treating me like I just came out of rehab. Cuddling up beside me, putting their arms around me and telling me it was okay. I understand that others out there don't get this and my heart goes out to them for being strong.

You know what's really funny, though? Most people think I'm straight. I can easily lower my voice and become totally laid back. In fact, when I'm drunk or high my best friend tells me so. She'll even tell me "Sean!! Come back to me!! I don't like it when you're straight!" And most of her guy friends think I'm her boyfriend and some hot guys I talk to at parties seem very shocked when they hear me talk about a guy's ass.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: [CPCTC]Mrs.Picklez on June 29, 2009, 11:44:08 AM
When I came out my whole family found out because my mother likes to gossip, well, the family gossips. We're Filipino. Filipino's gossip. So anyway, the next family party I go to I have like 8 people coming up to me 'Sean, we're very, very proud of you. We all knew. I mean, when you were a kid you were so obsessed with Xena and Sailor Moon.' Yes, I know you knew I was gay. It's not like I tried to hide it or anything. But so many of them kept telling me "It's okay, Sean. We still love you, we all knew." Uhmm thanks? I kind of figured that you weren't homophobic people since most of you have gay friends and talk about them, and wish you had a gay family member because gays are awesome. All-in-all, I found it a bit irritating because people kept treating me like I just came out of rehab. Cuddling up beside me, putting their arms around me and telling me it was okay. I understand that others out there don't get this and my heart goes out to them for being strong.

You know what's really funny, though? Most people think I'm straight. I can easily lower my voice and become totally laid back. In fact, when I'm drunk or high my best friend tells me so. She'll even tell me "Sean!! Come back to me!! I don't like it when you're straight!" And most of her guy friends think I'm her boyfriend and some hot guys I talk to at parties seem very shocked when they hear me talk about a guy's ass.
Man I wish I could steal your family. o.o
I understand the smothered feeling, but they accept you...
I envy you.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: guuurrrrrllltakeiteasy on June 29, 2009, 07:47:10 PM
When I came out my whole family found out because my mother likes to gossip, well, the family gossips. We're Filipino. Filipino's gossip. So anyway, the next family party I go to I have like 8 people coming up to me 'Sean, we're very, very proud of you. We all knew. I mean, when you were a kid you were so obsessed with Xena and Sailor Moon.' Yes, I know you knew I was gay. It's not like I tried to hide it or anything. But so many of them kept telling me "It's okay, Sean. We still love you, we all knew." Uhmm thanks? I kind of figured that you weren't homophobic people since most of you have gay friends and talk about them, and wish you had a gay family member because gays are awesome. All-in-all, I found it a bit irritating because people kept treating me like I just came out of rehab. Cuddling up beside me, putting their arms around me and telling me it was okay. I understand that others out there don't get this and my heart goes out to them for being strong.

You know what's really funny, though? Most people think I'm straight. I can easily lower my voice and become totally laid back. In fact, when I'm drunk or high my best friend tells me so. She'll even tell me "Sean!! Come back to me!! I don't like it when you're straight!" And most of her guy friends think I'm her boyfriend and some hot guys I talk to at parties seem very shocked when they hear me talk about a guy's ass.
Man I wish I could steal your family. o.o
I understand the smothered feeling, but they accept you...
I envy you.

A lot of them are very ignorant. I mean, I had one relative tell me that I should find a boyfriend so that he could take my shopping. What? I want a boyfriend who will ride bikes with me and eat ice cream on hot days. I ain't no hoe. Same relative told me to stay away from ecstacy, poppers, meth, and a bunch of other street drugs. And when we're out in public they'll point out to the superficial guy with a fake tan, blonde highlights, D&G sunglasses, flip flops, rock hard abs, and huge package. They're so caught up in the media, they think being gay involves unsafe sex, big dicks, drugs, and shopping. Uhhhh no. Us gays are normal people, we don't have super powers except for a 50-metre radius of pure awesomeness that emits from our bodies like some sort of bright fucking halo that shines even on rainy days. 

Anyway........what I'm saying is, my family is cool with it but they treat it like a royal piece of ass. It's not. Maybe if they toned it down just a bit, then I'd be cool with it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on June 29, 2009, 07:58:20 PM
When I came out my whole family found out because my mother likes to gossip, well, the family gossips. We're Filipino. Filipino's gossip. So anyway, the next family party I go to I have like 8 people coming up to me 'Sean, we're very, very proud of you. We all knew. I mean, when you were a kid you were so obsessed with Xena and Sailor Moon.' Yes, I know you knew I was gay. It's not like I tried to hide it or anything. But so many of them kept telling me "It's okay, Sean. We still love you, we all knew." Uhmm thanks? I kind of figured that you weren't homophobic people since most of you have gay friends and talk about them, and wish you had a gay family member because gays are awesome. All-in-all, I found it a bit irritating because people kept treating me like I just came out of rehab. Cuddling up beside me, putting their arms around me and telling me it was okay. I understand that others out there don't get this and my heart goes out to them for being strong.

You know what's really funny, though? Most people think I'm straight. I can easily lower my voice and become totally laid back. In fact, when I'm drunk or high my best friend tells me so. She'll even tell me "Sean!! Come back to me!! I don't like it when you're straight!" And most of her guy friends think I'm her boyfriend and some hot guys I talk to at parties seem very shocked when they hear me talk about a guy's ass.
Man I wish I could steal your family. o.o
I understand the smothered feeling, but they accept you...
I envy you.

A lot of them are very ignorant. I mean, I had one relative tell me that I should find a boyfriend so that he could take my shopping. What? I want a boyfriend who will ride bikes with me and eat ice cream on hot days. I ain't no hoe. Same relative told me to stay away from ecstacy, poppers, meth, and a bunch of other street drugs. And when we're out in public they'll point out to the superficial guy with a fake tan, blonde highlights, D&G sunglasses, flip flops, rock hard abs, and huge package. They're so caught up in the media, they think being gay involves unsafe sex, big dicks, drugs, and shopping. Uhhhh no. Us gays are normal people, we don't have super powers except for a 50-metre radius of pure awesomeness that emits from our bodies like some sort of bright fucking halo that shines even on rainy days. 

Anyway........what I'm saying is, my family is cool with it but they treat it like a royal piece of ass. It's not. Maybe if they toned it down just a bit, then I'd be cool with it.

No super powers?
I don't know about you but I certainly wasn't able to cross tall buildings in single leaps and bounds before this happened...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Haushinka on June 29, 2009, 08:45:41 PM
...and after I gave you some of the best handjob advice that has ever been given!

Do share!

Ugh, Gay, straight, whatever, get over it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on June 29, 2009, 08:57:49 PM
Us gays are normal people, we don't have super powers except for a 50-metre radius of pure awesomeness that emits from our bodies like some sort of bright fucking halo that shines even on rainy days. 
...Uhm, I'm sorry Sean. But I have super powers.  :embarassed:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on June 29, 2009, 10:46:47 PM
Us gays are normal people, we don't have super powers except for a 50-metre radius of pure awesomeness that emits from our bodies like some sort of bright fucking halo that shines even on rainy days. 
...Uhm, I'm sorry Sean. But I have super powers.  :embarassed:

yeah, who is gay that doesn't have super powers? 

.....or is the 50m. radius of awesomeness a super power?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on June 30, 2009, 02:35:39 AM
Us gays are normal people, we don't have super powers except for a 50-metre radius of pure awesomeness that emits from our bodies like some sort of bright fucking halo that shines even on rainy days. 
...Uhm, I'm sorry Sean. But I have super powers.  :embarassed:

yeah, who is gay that doesn't have super powers? 

.....or is the 50m. radius of awesomeness a super power?

What about gaydar? That's kind of a superpower isn't it?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on June 30, 2009, 09:52:34 AM
Us gays are normal people, we don't have super powers except for a 50-metre radius of pure awesomeness that emits from our bodies like some sort of bright fucking halo that shines even on rainy days. 
...Uhm, I'm sorry Sean. But I have super powers.  :embarassed:

yeah, who is gay that doesn't have super powers? 

.....or is the 50m. radius of awesomeness a super power?

What about gaydar? That's kind of a superpower isn't it?

Only if you keep if finely tuned
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on June 30, 2009, 11:42:09 AM
Us gays are normal people, we don't have super powers except for a 50-metre radius of pure awesomeness that emits from our bodies like some sort of bright fucking halo that shines even on rainy days. 
...Uhm, I'm sorry Sean. But I have super powers.  :embarassed:

yeah, who is gay that doesn't have super powers? 

.....or is the 50m. radius of awesomeness a super power?

What about gaydar? That's kind of a superpower isn't it?

Only if you keep if finely tuned
Also, it's a power possesed by a number of straight people, and apparently quite absent in some homosexuals.
(A friend once dragged me to a local gay bar to meet up with some of her friends, and I felt kinda guilty at the number
of guys who walked up, started to say something... you know, witty or "hi, my I'm...." and then suddenly realized they
needed to be somewhere else immediately...)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: stallionbreaker on June 30, 2009, 01:28:02 PM
Us gays are normal people, we don't have super powers except for a 50-metre radius of pure awesomeness that emits from our bodies like some sort of bright fucking halo that shines even on rainy days. 
...Uhm, I'm sorry Sean. But I have super powers.  :embarassed:

yeah, who is gay that doesn't have super powers? 

.....or is the 50m. radius of awesomeness a super power?

What about gaydar? That's kind of a superpower isn't it?

Only if you keep if finely tuned
Also, it's a power possesed by a number of straight people, and apparently quite absent in some homosexuals.
Yeah, mine's not reliable at all... but then I live in limboland between the homos and the heteros ;)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on June 30, 2009, 01:58:20 PM
i feel bad that because of my gayness i can't add any friends from university on facebook. i'm definitely not out to all, also because some are pretty close minded fuckers... but i can't add just 1 or 2 or the others will freak out. gee. people take fb way too seriously.  :violent1:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: [CPCTC]Mrs.Picklez on June 30, 2009, 01:59:03 PM
i feel bad that because of my gayness i can't add any friends from university on facebook. i'm definitely not out to all, also because some are pretty close minded fuckers... but i can't add just 1 or 2 or the others will freak out. gee. people take fb way too seriously.  :violent1:
It doesn't count unless it's facebook official.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: guuurrrrrllltakeiteasy on June 30, 2009, 07:25:34 PM
Us gays are normal people, we don't have super powers except for a 50-metre radius of pure awesomeness that emits from our bodies like some sort of bright fucking halo that shines even on rainy days. 
...Uhm, I'm sorry Sean. But I have super powers.  :embarassed:

yeah, who is gay that doesn't have super powers? 

.....or is the 50m. radius of awesomeness a super power?

Gaydars and The 50m Radius of Awesomesauce are super powers that all gay men and women possess. But other than we can't fly. Although we do look fly. Haha, get it? Get it?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Ryan James on June 30, 2009, 11:38:58 PM
Us gays are normal people, we don't have super powers except for a 50-metre radius of pure awesomeness that emits from our bodies like some sort of bright fucking halo that shines even on rainy days. 
...Uhm, I'm sorry Sean. But I have super powers.  :embarassed:

yeah, who is gay that doesn't have super powers? 

.....or is the 50m. radius of awesomeness a super power?

What about gaydar? That's kind of a superpower isn't it?

Only if you keep if finely tuned
Also, it's a power possesed by a number of straight people, and apparently quite absent in some homosexuals.
(A friend once dragged me to a local gay bar to meet up with some of her friends, and I felt kinda guilty at the number
of guys who walked up, started to say something... you know, witty or "hi, my I'm...." and then suddenly realized they
needed to be somewhere else immediately...)


well to be fair most of the time people are working under an assumption in that situation.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: 85283-071 on June 30, 2009, 11:48:07 PM
...and after I gave you some of the best handjob advice that has ever been given!

Do share!


http://www.violatingvoices.net/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=661&st=0&sk=t&sd=a (http://www.violatingvoices.net/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=661&st=0&sk=t&sd=a)

Third post from the bottom.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: GalacticSimian on July 01, 2009, 11:24:35 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I've never really written this down before, but I suppose I'm gay. But I've had a major thing for a couple of girls before...

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?

I think they put a lot of pressure on people to be either one thing, or the other.

When did you first know you were gay?
I dunno. For a long time I guess. Even when I was like, 11 or 12 I was more interested *sexually* in boys. BUT, I also had crushed on girls? It was wierd. It still is weird. Ugh.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
I'm a tiny bit out. One of my friends (who is gay) got me to admit I was gay. Only a dozen people know really. Not my parents, or lots of people at school.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
Aaah, well my friend was so convinced I was straight (he has AWFULLY BAD gaydar). But yeah. Everyone that knows is gay/bi/lesbian so it's not a big deal.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?

I don't really see it as an important part of me. It's just something I am, like having blue eyes or brown hair or something...

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?

I try and avoid as much as I can. The stereotyped "faggot" image is something I really dislike.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
Not really, no.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
I don't really look up to most of my gay friends. =\ I used to but, I've realised they have more issues than I do...

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
I used to get the typical kind of shit most guys get (before I was out) from some guys.
"You ever had a girlfriend? Huh? Why not? Fucking fag..." etc. etc.
Not because they knew I was gay, just because... they were arseholes. =\ Sad thing is even though I'm sort of out now, everyone in the school believes I'm straight...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Tiervexx on July 01, 2009, 11:55:54 PM
...They're so caught up in the media, they think being gay involves unsafe sex, big dicks, drugs, and shopping.

WAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIITTT a second!  Being gay is NOT about big dicks?! :D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: guuurrrrrllltakeiteasy on July 02, 2009, 09:51:36 AM
...They're so caught up in the media, they think being gay involves unsafe sex, big dicks, drugs, and shopping.

WAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIITTT a second!  Being gay is NOT about big dicks?! :D

No, "Zach", it's about how you use it. Who wants a 10" poking around their insides? It hurts and it's boring. However, if you have someone who knows all the right spots with or without the 10" dick, well, it really doesn't matter.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on July 02, 2009, 02:04:21 PM
...They're so caught up in the media, they think being gay involves unsafe sex, big dicks, drugs, and shopping.

WAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIITTT a second!  Being gay is NOT about big dicks?! :D

No, "Zach", it's about how you use it. Who wants a 10" poking around their insides? It hurts and it's boring. However, if you have someone who knows all the right spots with or without the 10" dick, well, it really doesn't matter.

Zach  :o
It makes so much sense
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: guuurrrrrllltakeiteasy on July 02, 2009, 03:02:45 PM
...They're so caught up in the media, they think being gay involves unsafe sex, big dicks, drugs, and shopping.

WAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIITTT a second!  Being gay is NOT about big dicks?! :D

No, "Zach", it's about how you use it. Who wants a 10" poking around their insides? It hurts and it's boring. However, if you have someone who knows all the right spots with or without the 10" dick, well, it really doesn't matter.

Zach  :o
It makes so much sense

How?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Tiervexx on July 02, 2009, 05:15:04 PM
...They're so caught up in the media, they think being gay involves unsafe sex, big dicks, drugs, and shopping.

WAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIITTT a second!  Being gay is NOT about big dicks?! :D

No, "Zach", it's about how you use it. Who wants a 10" poking around their insides? It hurts and it's boring. However, if you have someone who knows all the right spots with or without the 10" dick, well, it really doesn't matter.

First of all, why is "Zach" in quotes?!  If I had referred to myself as some tittle like "Lord of all that is was and shall be" than it would make sense to put that in quotes but not a name...

Second, I was screwing with you.  A dick needs to fit nicely into a mouth and a fat ten incher fails in that regard.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: guuurrrrrllltakeiteasy on July 02, 2009, 05:32:20 PM
...They're so caught up in the media, they think being gay involves unsafe sex, big dicks, drugs, and shopping.

WAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIITTT a second!  Being gay is NOT about big dicks?! :D

No, "Zach", it's about how you use it. Who wants a 10" poking around their insides? It hurts and it's boring. However, if you have someone who knows all the right spots with or without the 10" dick, well, it really doesn't matter.

First of all, why is "Zach" in quotes?!  If I had referred to myself as some tittle like "Lord of all that is was and shall be" than it would make sense to put that in quotes but not a name...

Second, I was screwing with you.  A dick needs to fit nicely into a mouth and a fat ten incher fails in that regard.

I know. I was just tricking you with my tricks.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on July 02, 2009, 07:51:57 PM
...They're so caught up in the media, they think being gay involves unsafe sex, big dicks, drugs, and shopping.

WAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIITTT a second!  Being gay is NOT about big dicks?! :D

No, "Zach", it's about how you use it. Who wants a 10" poking around their insides? It hurts and it's boring. However, if you have someone who knows all the right spots with or without the 10" dick, well, it really doesn't matter.

First of all, why is "Zach" in quotes?!  If I had referred to myself as some tittle like "Lord of all that is was and shall be" than it would make sense to put that in quotes but not a name...

Second, I was screwing with you.  A dick needs to fit nicely into a mouth and a fat ten incher fails in that regard.

I know. I was just tricking you with my tricks.

Oh you trickster
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Tiervexx on July 02, 2009, 10:32:12 PM
Thank you gentlemen for helping me demonstrate the "sassy fag" stereotype for the gayness thread O0
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on July 03, 2009, 02:23:12 AM
I suppose I should get around to answering my own questions eventually.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on July 03, 2009, 06:42:07 AM
Thank you gentlemen for helping me demonstrate the "sassy fag" stereotype for the gayness thread O0

I prefer to think I just have moxy
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: tw2113 on July 03, 2009, 02:25:50 PM
you fags......yes i just called you all cigarettes. I have no reason to actually hate.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on July 03, 2009, 02:35:12 PM
you fags......yes i just called you all cigarettes. I have no reason to actually hate.

Wanna go light up a fag?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: guuurrrrrllltakeiteasy on July 03, 2009, 02:40:44 PM
you fags......yes i just called you all cigarettes. I have no reason to actually hate.

Wanna go light up a fag?

Smoking is very bad for you, Shane. Except it makes you look sexy and allows you to sing lower than normal.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on July 03, 2009, 02:58:20 PM
you fags......yes i just called you all cigarettes. I have no reason to actually hate.

Wanna go light up a fag?

Smoking is very bad for you, Shane. Except it makes you look sexy and allows you to sing lower than normal.

Don't forget, it suppresses your appetite and makes the starvation a whole lot easier.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: tw2113 on July 03, 2009, 02:59:25 PM
I'm good, don't smoke here.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: guuurrrrrllltakeiteasy on July 03, 2009, 04:38:48 PM
you fags......yes i just called you all cigarettes. I have no reason to actually hate.

Wanna go light up a fag?

Smoking is very bad for you, Shane. Except it makes you look sexy and allows you to sing lower than normal.

Don't forget, it suppresses your appetite and makes the starvation a whole lot easier.

And that too!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Ryan James on July 03, 2009, 06:44:18 PM
you fags......yes i just called you all cigarettes. I have no reason to actually hate.

Wanna go light up a fag?

Smoking is very bad for you, Shane. Except it makes you look sexy and allows you to sing lower than normal.

Don't forget, it suppresses your appetite and makes the starvation a whole lot easier.

And that too!
(http://www.davidstagg.com/wp-content/uploads/camel_lights_new.jpg) :love5:
my favorite fags
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: guuurrrrrllltakeiteasy on July 04, 2009, 11:32:10 AM
Damn you Amerikans! We don't have good tobacco here. Well except for Peter Jacksons and the ones that come in the red package.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on July 04, 2009, 04:21:21 PM
"So... how long do you think you're gonna be bisexual for?"

WTF?!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on July 04, 2009, 07:33:36 PM
"So... how long do you think you're gonna be bisexual for?"

WTF?!
Nice...did this come from a parental-unit?

Reminded me of this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ1I_-MY_NY
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on July 04, 2009, 09:35:05 PM
"So... how long do you think you're gonna be bisexual for?"

WTF?!
Nice...did this come from a parental-unit?

Reminded me of this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ1I_-MY_NY

Hahaha. Gold.

A few of those questions are particularly nasty though.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on July 05, 2009, 10:51:12 AM
"So... how long do you think you're gonna be bisexual for?"

WTF?!
Nice...did this come from a parental-unit?

Reminded me of this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ1I_-MY_NY

Hahaha. Gold.

A few of those questions are particularly nasty though.

And I've heard them all a LOT :\

But no, it wasn't a parent - I haven't told them because I know my mum and step-dad would Get Proud (they're lame like that...) and I don't want them to know when my dad and my step-mum don't, but I don't want to tell those two until I have somewhere I can be that isn't in the same house as them while they get over the fact. They're pretty closed-minded about sexuality, and they completely believe all the stereotypes and stuff - like that gay women are all sexual predators and gross butch things, and gay men are all camp and bitchy and that bisexuals - if they even exist, I think my dad thinks of them as being like leprechauns or pixies or something - are all super-promiscuous and cheat all the time.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: 85283-071 on July 08, 2009, 08:39:25 PM
Any good writer would start this story with your two pairs of parents reacting in the opposite manners of what you expected.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Hallor on July 08, 2009, 10:18:27 PM
I'm queer as a... something queer :P
my family is perfectly cool with it, but they don't know the whole story... though I think they might suspect it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on July 09, 2009, 06:14:01 AM
Any good writer would start this story with your two pairs of parents reacting in the opposite manners of what you expected.

While I'm sure that would be vastly amusing to, um, you, personally I would prefer if they both reacted directly in the middle of the two examples - just shrug and go, "Yeah, that's cool. Go shag."
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on July 09, 2009, 10:53:03 AM
I'm queer as a... something queer :P
my family is perfectly cool with it, but they don't know the whole story... though I think they might suspect it.
I like your art, by the way. It's nifty.  ;D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on July 09, 2009, 02:36:13 PM
I'm queer as a... something queer :P
my family is perfectly cool with it, but they don't know the whole story... though I think they might suspect it.
I like your art, by the way. It's nifty.  ;D

Ooh ooh, me too!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: bambiraptor on July 11, 2009, 08:09:47 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I am an Evil Gayer.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
I'd say they're useful.

When did you first know you were gay?
I dunno. I kinda always have been?
I can remember sitting in Primary Six just thinking and then suddenly going 'Holy shit, I'm gay!' [thankfully not out loud...] though. But I've always fancied teh menz.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
I've never really been 'in', coz I've never really let sexuality control my life to any extent.
Recently I became enamoured with a complete wanker and decided to pursue him, however, so everyone kinda found out when we got caught kissing in the local park. Haha.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
Well, my dad's become immensely more supportive and cool with me, mother has grown more distant, sister has never mentioned it, and none of my friends give a shit.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?
It doesn't mean anything to me at all. My head likes guys instead of girls. That's all really.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I just ignore them. It's really only a tiny part of my life.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
I listen to music made by people who are gay, but then so do other people.
I've never heard the term 'queercore' before, but I can't imagine that it's in any way pleasant.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Not really.
I tend to avoid the more militant gays because I really don't think it's anything to be remarked upon tbh.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Course I have.
Whispers behind my back, my own mother not talking to me for three weeks, idiots in town telling me I'm going to hell [they get my stock response of 'Cooooooool man. That's good coz I wouldn't want to go to heaven if it's filled with cunts like you' followed by a rather large grin. Then I skip away, obv.]
But luckily I'm no longer in a school environment or anything like that, so I don't have that to worry about, and mother appears to be returning to her normal indifference towards me, which is nice.

Hi, btw.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: guuurrrrrllltakeiteasy on July 11, 2009, 10:38:47 PM
HI! welcome to the box.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on July 12, 2009, 12:44:23 AM
^^  Well waddaya expect from a country where all the "men" wear wee skirts?   ;)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Grrlstar on July 30, 2009, 11:39:40 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I'm a lesbian.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
To be honest I don't think much about them either way.  They just are, you know?  I don't really think they're oppresive, though.  You don't consider labeling someone as tall or Mexican-American or blue eyed or physically handicapped oppressive, why should being categorized as LGBT be considered oppressive?

When did you first know you were gay?
Ah, there were always signs, I knew I liked girls when I was very young.  I realized that that was "different" when I was about 8.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
Very much out.  I first came out to my best friend when I was about 15, and shortly thereafter told my mother's boyfriend's daughter, who told her father, who told my mother.  So, my mother, having heard this, came downstairs and essentially outed me.  It went sort of like this;

Mother: "So, I hear you're a lesbian."
Me: "Yeah, so?"
Mother: "That's fucking SICK, Aimee!"
Me: "Did you bring my sandwich home, or were you so disgusted with the revelation that I'm queer that you forgot I need to eat?"
Mother: *glare of DOOM* "It's upstairs."
*End Aimee being dragged out of the closet sequence*

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
My mother was disgusted at first, but over the 11 years I've been out she's come to accept it.  My father was quoted to have said I was "just doing it to get back at him".  What I was getting back at him for, I'm not entirely sure, but as he wasn't a part of my life I never really cared enough to ask him.  Everyone else, extended family and friends, were basically either ok with it or kept their opinion to themselves.  I'm rather lucky to say I've only ever lost one person because I'm gay and that was me cutting communication with her because of her "smile to her face and act like a complete religious zealot-homophobe behind her back" attitude.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?
Hmm, really it's just who I am, just like my race, sex, etc.  I am one of the proud to be queer sorts, I have a couple pride tattoos and am quite vocal about my opinions as to our (lack of) rights, etc, but ultimately I'm just Aimee.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I probably fall into a few, but in general I try to avoid them.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
I generally like what I like irregardless of the sexuality of the artist/actor/musician etc.  That said, I do relate more to things if they are gay.  It's easier to relate to a story or song when you're looking at/hearing about people like yourself as opposed to having to mentally substitute a woman for the man (or vice versa) in this scene or verse.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Celebrity wise, yes. 

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Oh, yeah.  Everything from the trivial people staring unapprovingly at me kissing my girlfriend on the El, or lonely little protesters at the pride parade with their signs to being run off the road in my tiny little 88 Nova by a couple men in a huge pickup truck with rebel flags all over it screaming "FUCKING DYKE".
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: ×││[AngeliiKatt.]││× on July 31, 2009, 11:05:10 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I don't know what I am.
I'm only sexually attracted to females.
     [i.e. Show me any picture of a naked man, I become grossed out and hide behind my hands.
     [Show me any naked woman and I'm horny as a young puppy.]
Yet...I'm engaged to a guy.
I fell for his sensitivity, personality, spirit, his soul.
Go figure, he's got the spirit of a woman.

Most people tell me I'm bi, James [my fiance] affectionately calls me a lesbian.
[jokingly, "My little lesbooo -hugkisscling-"]

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
More useful than oppressive, but at the end of the day, love is love.
You don't necessarily hear anyone running through the streets screaming
"I <3 Penises"
or
"I heart Vajayjays"
To be perfectly honest...
I find that the sweetest people [in my personal experience, mind you] are usually lesbian couples.
...They make me squee.
 :love5:

When did you first know you were gay?
I was in 5th grade, and I kept thinking about this really pretty girl in my class...
Eventually I realized that not EVERYONE thinks about their same-sex table partners like that...

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
Everyone who is around me often enough becomes blatantly aware that I'm not straight.
But then again...I -feel- gay.
You know, happy, giggly, rainbowy...sure-as-hell-not-straight gay.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
My mother told me that I couldn't possibly be bisexual, since [apparently, according to her] Bisexual girls
don't cry over their heterosexual relationships.

..so, because I cry when some guy breaks up with me,
Obviously I couldn't possibly like girls?

...That confuses me...

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?

Call this sad, or strange...but it sort of does, I suppose? I like being queer. The old definition of queer.
[Remember when Queer meant Strange?]

Weird people attract more weird people.
I tend to make friends quite swiftly, by being my flamboyant, weird self.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I'd be a stereotypical gay man.
I like to shop, I like girly things, I like the sort of music that is often blared in "Gay bars"
Yes, Ace of Base and 4 strings, make me dance around like a dork.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
Liking a certain sort of music makes me gay-er?
Okay.
Sure, then?

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
I'm from a whitebread community where the girls are flat-chested, anorexic and give it up their first year of highschool.

I haven't exactly been exposed to that many openly gay individuals.

But I'm straight as a rainbow, man...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The King of Carrot Flowers on August 02, 2009, 10:53:21 PM
couldn't find any threads specifically devoted to this subject

LGBT Members of the 'Box, Rejoice! (http://www.theshadowbox.net/forum/index.php?topic=4561.0)

This makes me feel quite unnoticed.

In your defense, though, no one had posted in it for a while.

So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I'm a bisexual male. I've been out for a year and a half. I came out to my mom a couple months ago. It doesn't really matter to her, which is comforting. I consider my self a 4 on the Kinsey scale (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale), which is like 60% homo, 40% hetero. I've had two relationships, both with girls, and have had my fair share of boy-crushes (you've probably heard me gush endlessly about Ben).

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
The fact that people actually exist in the categories necessitates said categories.

When did you first know you were gay?
I first entertained the thought in 3rd grade, when I figured out what gay meant. I was a very femmy little boy, so it was a natural assumption for others (mind you, no one ever called me gay to my face until much later). In 7th grade, I thought about it more seriously and fully realized I was bi in the summer before my eighth grade year. I had sporadic identity crises afterward when I would wonder if I really was bi or if I was all on one side. I'm more comfortable in my identity now, so that's nice.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
I'm out. I first told a large group of my friends via a Facebook note (if you want to know details, PM me), and then I started telling people when the topic came up. My brother found out through my friend Danielle, and I told my mom in June. Still haven't told my dad, but I should soon. He deserves to know.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
All of my friends whom I told in the beginning were very supportive, and even those who didn't agree with it were tolerant, which reassured me. My brother was kind of a dick about it (when he first found out, he said I was trying to copy him, because he had told me he was bi a few months before), but he's gotten over it, although he laughs any time I accidentally leave gay porn on the computer (LULZ) My mom was supportive, although for some reason the idea of bringing home a guy seems kinda awkward, but I know she won't mind, so I'll get over eventually.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?
I'm very open about my sexuality, although I've sort of gotten past the "floatin' around, makin' noise" stage. I used to freak out the minute anyway said "faggot", but I've gotten over it, and now I sort of wear words like "fag" and "queer" as terms of endearment (or, dare I say, "enqueerment"). These days, I just speak out against glaring examples of queer-hunting idiocy and advocate tolerance. I'm pro-SSM (same-sex marriage), but anti-HCL (hate crime legislation).

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I fall into some gay stereotypes (I love fashion, I periodically cross-dress and I adore theatre), and I also break some - I HATE Britney. I just consider myself free to pick which stereotypes to substantiate because I'm bi, so I'll take the half I like. For instance, approximately half of all froo-froo drinks are kinds I like.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
I looooove techno. I seriously want to go to a gay bar before I die.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Ben was like my gay idol before I started crushing on him. Hell, he still is. I've also got lots of gay and bi friends, plus countless allies, so there's support.

In terms of LGBT celebrities, I look up to the Dolls, Tegan & Sara, Margaret Cho, Anthony Rapp, Ellen DeGeneres, Lord Byron and Oscar Wilde.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Hayley Fiasco! on August 07, 2009, 12:06:26 AM
couldn't find any threads specifically devoted to this subject

LGBT Members of the 'Box, Rejoice! (http://www.theshadowbox.net/forum/index.php?topic=4561.0)

This makes me feel quite unnoticed.

In your defense, though, no one had posted in it for a while.
I remember that thread, I think it was one of the first of its kind on this incarnation of the Shadowbox
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The King of Carrot Flowers on August 07, 2009, 12:47:22 AM
couldn't find any threads specifically devoted to this subject

LGBT Members of the 'Box, Rejoice! (http://www.theshadowbox.net/forum/index.php?topic=4561.0)

This makes me feel quite unnoticed.

In your defense, though, no one had posted in it for a while.
I remember that thread, I think it was one of the first of its kind on this incarnation of the Shadowbox
:D Thank you!
To be honest, I don't mind if it was forgotten - it's probably better to make a new thread than to bump a thread that no one's gonna remember.

So PunkRocker, you are forgiven.

PS: What was PunkRocker's old 'Box name? I used to remember it but I forgot.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on August 07, 2009, 08:18:53 AM
^ i think it was Andy Pants...or maybe that was just a while ago...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on August 07, 2009, 05:02:43 PM
http://midwestteensexshow.com/2007/09/26/mtss-episode-7-homosexuality-part-1/
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on August 13, 2009, 11:49:46 AM
So, are you gay?
Lesbian.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
These categories can be useful, but generally speaking i don't like things to be put into one 'box' - people are a mix of everything.

When did you first know you were gay?
When i was 13.

Are you in or out of the closet?
Out.

If it's the latter then how did you come out? Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
Slowly, with different people. All friends and family who know were supportive, and in return i felt i could be more open about things and found it easier to relax.

What does being gay mean to you?
Its just who i am.

Do you 'wear' it? Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes? How much does it define your personality?  Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
To all of those questions I'm a mix of everything, just a lesbian (if that makes sense). Ive always been told to be myself and my decisions are my own. I don't fall into any stereotype, it doesn't define a massive part of my personality - although i have got more into feminism, but thats come with age more than anything. I like to support the gay music scene, as well as buying indie gay films - whether its the topic within the film or the director. I also read DIVA because i like to keep up to date with lesbian news etc.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
I'm inspired by those who stood and stand up for what they believe in.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
I did a couple of times in secondary school, but nothing major - which i feel very lucky for as i know people who have experienced awful prejudice and discrimination for being a part of the lgbt community.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on August 13, 2009, 01:59:13 PM
Last time I posted in this thread, I think I was saying I was bi. Since then I have realized I only ever watched straight porn to see a penis fuck something different. i.e., I'm gay. :D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: nottheonethatscrazy on August 13, 2009, 04:00:36 PM
Last time I posted in this thread, I think I was saying I was bi. Since then I have realized I only ever watched straight porn to see a penis fuck something different. i.e., I'm gay. :D
Yay for gay!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on August 13, 2009, 04:18:00 PM
Last time I posted in this thread, I think I was saying I was bi. Since then I have realized I only ever watched straight porn to see a penis fuck something different. i.e., I'm gay. :D
Yay for gay!
Whoaho for homo?  ;D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: themaberfa on August 14, 2009, 09:44:43 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
Definitely lesbian

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
I think for the most part it's useful, but there are some instances where it's used as oppression. Also some people don't like labels.

When did you first know you were gay?
Since I was a little kid.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
I'm out of the closet to pretty much everyone except my grandparents. My dad was told that I was but has never actually confronted me about but I'm sure he believes it. As for random strangers I will tell them if they ask.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
Nothing special really happened, I've been a tomboy my entire life so I don't think it was a surprise to anyone. My mom did go through all the usual questions though like "When did you know?" and all that stuff. Everyone has still treated me like a human being :-)

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?
Being gay is just a part of who I am, it's not the biggest thing about me though. I have some gay t-shirts and stuff but other then that I don't go around wearing it on my shoulder all the time.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I feel like I fall into the tomboy lesbian stereotype, but it's not on purpose I have just always been like that. Generally though I don't like stereotypes, but sometimes they are true haha.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
I listen to all sorts of music, and watch all sorts of movies and tv shows whether its gay or not. I won't like though I do like to watch lesbian and gay movies. They make me happy <3

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Ellen Degeneres (lol) and of course Amanda

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
At the gay pride parade there was this man with a sign about how being gay was against god or something, so I guess that counts. But like direct prejudice, i've never had to deal with that. I'm really glad.

Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Johnny on August 14, 2009, 10:34:07 PM
i don't think i've done this yet


So, are you gay?
oh yeah

Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
G

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
useful

When did you first know you were gay?
i knew for sure when i blew that guy and liked it

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
you could say i'm out. I don't go up to people i meet for the first time and say hi, i'm gay. my friends and most of my family know. i mean, how could you not? my mom and i talk about relationships and stuff sometimes. it's nice. i'm lucky i guess.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
people stopped asking me when i was going to get a girlfriend. that was annoying. so that was a good change

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?
I guess it defines my personality as shown in my comedy. I just naturally think that "gay" comics are hilarious. ie kathy griffin, ellen.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I don't fall into them.
then again i don't try to avoid them.
somethings i like are gay but most things that i like
aren't really orientation specific

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
a lot of times gay media is easiest for me to relate to.
not so much with "gay" music though.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
like most people, ellen.
she really hung in there even when they tried to destroy her career.
and afp and Brian v. OF FUCKING COURSE!

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
i HATE being called faggot.
and it's happened.
a lot.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: lucy on August 15, 2009, 02:11:09 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
i'm bisexual.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
i think they're useful. i think it's useful to have names for things, rather than having to describe it. however, i do know several people who use them in a way that i don't like. for example, if you'd tell them you're gay they don't just think that you're into the same sex, they think you're all gay stereotypes put into one. they think that everyone who's gay has the same personality, has the same hobbies and all that. so when that's how they use them i don't like the labels. but yeah, if used normally i think they're useful.

When did you first know you were bisexual?
i realized it when i was 15. before that i had liked both boys and girls for as long as i can remember, but when i was 15 i suddenly realized that it meant that i'm bisexual.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
mostly in. a very good friend of mine knows and when i told him he was really normal about it. he was just like, okay that's cool. a couple of shadowboxers know and that's it.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
as i said, normally. nothing really changed. (not that i really expected something to change since barely anyone knows)

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?
it's obviously a part of me, but i don't let it define me. i don't let the music i listen to define me, or the clothes i like. i mean, i don't let just one of those things define me. it's the combination of all my characteristics, my hobbies, the things i like and yes also my sexuality what defines me. the whole package, not just one thing.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
hm, is there a bisexual stereotype? to be honest i don't really think about it. i don't try to break or avoid the stereotypes but i'm not trying to be one either. i just don't think about it.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
again, i don't really think about it. if i like certain music or other media, then i like it. if i don't, i don't. it doesn't matter to me whether it's gay music/media or not.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
hm don't think so.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
not to me personally, because most people don't know. but a lot of people at my school seem to have something against being gay and they sure like to talk about how much they dislike it, and how disgusting they think it is.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on August 15, 2009, 02:23:30 PM
Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
hm, is there a bisexual stereotype? to be honest i don't really think about it. i don't try to break or avoid the stereotypes but i'm not trying to be one either. i just don't think about it.

I think sometimes there is a stereotype that bisexual people are sluts. Not saying you are, just saying that it's there.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: lucy on August 15, 2009, 02:28:19 PM
Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
hm, is there a bisexual stereotype? to be honest i don't really think about it. i don't try to break or avoid the stereotypes but i'm not trying to be one either. i just don't think about it.

I think sometimes there is a stereotype that bisexual people are sluts. Not saying you are, just saying that it's there.
well then i'm definitely not a bisexual stereotype. i'm more of the opposite of a slut :P
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: guuurrrrrllltakeiteasy on August 15, 2009, 02:31:26 PM
http://midwestteensexshow.com/2007/09/26/mtss-episode-7-homosexuality-part-1/

subscribed to their podcast
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on August 15, 2009, 11:44:17 PM
Quote from: marci

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
Hrm...I guess I look like a lesbian, but other than that...I don't know! :)


A fricken hot lesbian.
You have Daniela Sea's eyes.
You're gorgeous

Hrm..thanks  :embarassed:  ^-^

LOL I were a gay chick I'd WELL fancy you... :D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on August 16, 2009, 08:26:44 PM

Maybe we should start an Irish thread just like the Gayness one:

When did you find out you were Irish?

Do you think terms such as "proddy", "goliwog", "pikey", "fucking foreign bastards", etc. are useful or are oppressive?

Are you not Irish but have had 'Irish experiences'? (details)

Are you ashamed or are you openly Irish?

If it's the latter then how did you come out?


Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on August 17, 2009, 01:37:34 AM

Are you not Irish but have had 'Irish experiences'? (details)



I think it's interesting that no-one has actually answered that question yet. But I have drunk guiness and listened to Irish folk music so there you go.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on August 17, 2009, 01:07:45 PM

Are you not Irish but have had 'Irish experiences'? (details)



I think it's interesting that no-one has actually answered that question yet. But I have drunk guiness and listened to Irish folk music so there you go.

LOL should I start an new thread for this?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on August 17, 2009, 01:56:56 PM
Haha! You should! Im a quarter irish, so i dont qualify massively, but still..
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on August 21, 2009, 11:04:37 PM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?

I'm gay, but maybe I might go for a girl if the mood took me...

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?

While it helps to explain your sexuality easily to people, it can put up walls that don't need to be there, stopping people from trying out different things.

When did you first know you were gay?

Probably when I was about ten or eleven.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?

In general: in, but my best friends all know. I don't have any intentions of coming out finally anytime soon.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?

The first friend I told there was just a shock of actually saying it. After that more or less fine.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?

While I don't go out of my way for either, I do have a fair few "gay" traits, but I do plenty of thigns that surprise people: kill zombies, listen to punk and metal, etc.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?

I like the Gossip if that counts?

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?

I don't actually know any gay people  :embarassed:

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?

Constantly   :buck2:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: stallionbreaker on August 21, 2009, 11:25:14 PM
I don't actually know any gay people  :embarassed:

It's supposedly one in ten, so odds are pretty good that you DO know some gay people... they just haven't told you. I was really intrigued when I started finding people on myspace and facebook that I went to high school with who are openly gay now. It was a "woah, really? You too?" time of my life, lol.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on August 21, 2009, 11:35:34 PM
I don't actually know any gay people  :embarassed:

It's supposedly one in ten, so odds are pretty good that you DO know some gay people... they just haven't told you. I was really intrigued when I started finding people on myspace and facebook that I went to high school with who are openly gay now. It was a "woah, really? You too?" time of my life, lol.

LOL. I more meant like, openly gay people, but you know. There are a fair few people in my year who I'm fairly sure are gay, which sucks cause I really like one or two of them... :(
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: teacupped on September 04, 2009, 01:11:21 PM
are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
i'm bisexual, i really don't look at gender.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
there will always be labels, but i don't view it as oppressive.

When did you first know you were gay?
i've always kind of known, most people that know me think i'm just 'artsy'.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
in-the-closet, fo'sho. i don't want to be treated differently because of my sexual orientation.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
i know my close friends will love me since they are mostly gay, but others who aren't won't take it so well when i come out.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?
i don't let it define me, but i am very vocal about my thoughts on homosexuality, i.e: cute rainbow bumper sticks.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
i look like the typical lesbian with short hair, but i guess i am actually quite feminine in personality. also, i don't really care about sex too much.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
i went to a jeffree star concert if that counts?

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
those who surround me, they have the courage to come out.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
a lot of people think i am a lesbian when they first meet me, so i guess, and that's the main reason why i don't come out.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Morpheus Laughing on September 04, 2009, 02:42:18 PM

Are you not Irish but have had 'Irish experiences'? (details)



My Dads side of the Family is Irish. My Irish experiences (some 12 years ago) involve visiting farmland areas that my distant relatives still farm.
I remember fields and fields of sheep and talk about when “granny” saw a Leprecorn or fairy or something like that. I also heard stories about a plastic Fluorescent Holy Mary statuette that great granny had to keep holy water in. I'm told it looked scary at night in the old cottage she lived in.   
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on September 04, 2009, 03:28:32 PM

Are you not Irish but have had 'Irish experiences'? (details)


I also heard stories about a plastic Fluorescent Holy Mary statuette that great granny had to keep holy water in. I'm told it looked scary at night in the old cottage she lived in.   

Haha, You'll find those in most houses over here :D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on September 04, 2009, 10:06:09 PM
I've decided that I'm going to come out to my best friend...(slash, crush.) Obviously, I won't tell her the second part.

I just feel the need to let her know. We've been talking a lot lately, and I feel we've become very close since this school year started.

She'll be the first friend I tell.
I'm so nervous.
:-\
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Hayley Fiasco! on September 05, 2009, 12:07:27 AM
I've decided that I'm going to come out to my best friend...(slash, crush.) Obviously, I won't tell her the second part.

I just feel the need to let her know. We've been talking a lot lately, and I feel we've become very close since this school year started.

She'll be the first friend I tell.
I'm so nervous.
:-\
good luck! I hope she's as supportive as she sounds.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: choic on September 05, 2009, 12:58:11 AM
Homo. In the process of coming out. But I always find it weird how much some people let their sexuality dominate their life, so I try not to let too many things revolve around where I like to stick my peeper.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on September 05, 2009, 09:41:44 AM
I've decided that I'm going to come out to my best friend...(slash, crush.) Obviously, I won't tell her the second part.

I just feel the need to let her know. We've been talking a lot lately, and I feel we've become very close since this school year started.

She'll be the first friend I tell.
I'm so nervous.
:-\

Don't worry. It'll probably be a bit of a shock to the both of you initially, but that passes.
Good luck.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Morpheus Laughing on September 05, 2009, 10:05:21 AM

Are you not Irish but have had 'Irish experiences'? (details)


I also heard stories about a plastic Fluorescent Holy Mary statuette that great granny had to keep holy water in. I'm told it looked scary at night in the old cottage she lived in.   

Haha, You'll find those in most houses over here :D

Really? and fluorescent? There are also a lot of “Sacred heart” pictures in the homes of my Irish Relatives. Most of them also have Peat range type stoves.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: DeathOnTwoLegs on September 06, 2009, 08:34:01 AM
Queer and Irish!

And I know about 4 houses with peat stoves- all of them elderly folk. Ditto with the holy statues!

(Yay first post! :) )
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: imaginary friend on September 12, 2009, 08:10:42 PM
This week, the British government apologized to Alan Turing for having him chemically castrated in 1952 (he committed suicide 2 years later, I believe).

That's some swift action right there.   O0

#@!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on September 12, 2009, 10:00:08 PM
This week, the British government apologized to Alan Turing for having him chemically castrated in 1952 (he committed suicide 2 years later, I believe).

That's some swift action right there.   O0

#@!
For the government of a "developed nation" to admit that it screwed up?
Yeah, that reall was pretty quick.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on September 13, 2009, 06:49:45 AM
why the fuck did they have him castrated??
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on September 13, 2009, 08:01:51 AM
why the fuck did they have him castrated??

To "cure" his homosexuality.

He was arrested for performing "lewd acts" or something with a young man, and was faced with the choice of "punishment" - going to prison - or "cure" - castration.

And I'm with Cee - ok, so it's taken FOREVER to happen, but at least it's happened.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on September 13, 2009, 08:29:29 AM
well it was 1952. People didn't understand shit back then. i'm not condoning it, people were just under the thumb of the church.
glad the apology came, though
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on September 13, 2009, 09:12:20 AM
Uh huh. It's like electroshock treatment for the mentally ill - abhorrant nowadays, and it in no way makes it right just because they didn't know better, but it's true that they didn't.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on September 13, 2009, 12:33:31 PM
Uh huh. It's like electroshock treatment for the mentally ill - abhorrant nowadays, and it in no way makes it right just because they didn't know better, but it's true that they didn't.

They still do electric shock treatment. I worked in a psychiatric hospital for two weeks, connected with the course I did last year and they gave me leaflets and stuff about it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Shanneeen on September 13, 2009, 02:41:42 PM
Uh huh. It's like electroshock treatment for the mentally ill - abhorrant nowadays, and it in no way makes it right just because they didn't know better, but it's true that they didn't.

They still do electric shock treatment. I worked in a psychiatric hospital for two weeks, connected with the course I did last year and they gave me leaflets and stuff about it.

oh my god. really?? it just makes the patient worse off.. i can't believe they keep on doing it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on September 13, 2009, 02:58:41 PM
Uh huh. It's like electroshock treatment for the mentally ill - abhorrant nowadays, and it in no way makes it right just because they didn't know better, but it's true that they didn't.

They still do electric shock treatment. I worked in a psychiatric hospital for two weeks, connected with the course I did last year and they gave me leaflets and stuff about it.

oh my god. really?? it just makes the patient worse off.. i can't believe they keep on doing it.

Well obviously you have a choice now. The intensity can vary and people say that it does them good. People obviously react differently to different things
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on September 13, 2009, 03:04:55 PM
This week, the British government apologized to Alan Turing for having him chemically castrated in 1952 (he committed suicide 2 years later, I believe).

That's some swift action right there.   O0

#@!

Wasn't that the guy who bit into the apple and inspired the apple logo?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: themaberfa on September 18, 2009, 11:52:00 AM
Uh huh. It's like electroshock treatment for the mentally ill - abhorrant nowadays, and it in no way makes it right just because they didn't know better, but it's true that they didn't.

They still do electric shock treatment. I worked in a psychiatric hospital for two weeks, connected with the course I did last year and they gave me leaflets and stuff about it.

oh my god. really?? it just makes the patient worse off.. i can't believe they keep on doing it.

Well obviously you have a choice now. The intensity can vary and people say that it does them good. People obviously react differently to different things

Geez, atleast you have a choice now. For some people that might be the only thing that works honestly. Still it could potentially be really dangerous though, I have mixed feelings. On that note though I would only condone it if it's what the patient wanted though..
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on September 18, 2009, 03:39:59 PM
yeah and they're told exactly what'll happen, not just strapped into a chair and lit up.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on September 29, 2009, 02:32:05 AM
I've told myself I will answer all of these questions when this thread gets to 25 pages long.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Existential on September 29, 2009, 04:01:07 AM
I'm Straight
but I've kissed a guy :L
it was just a bit of a joke
we where on holiday in Austria Skiing
and for some odd reason we decided to play Spin the bottle
with all guys -.-
it was actually partly my fault we played it because some1 said lets play truth or dare and i then ended up getting confused and taught everyone how to play spin the bottle  ;D
anyway i eventually got up to the stage i had to kiss with tongue and ended up doing it to one guy but pulling out after that

also i just want to say Ive got quite a few gay or bi sexual friends
there orientation doesn't me at all
and I'd defend them as well as i could if they where getting shit for it

another thing
i dress very camp and its great xD
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: l i s a on September 29, 2009, 05:50:41 AM
allright

i'm .... well ..... i dont know.
heh
i mean, i've had boyfriends and stuff
but i find girls   totally :violent5:   > if you know what i mean
i've never kissed a girl
i've kissed dudes
i've cried about how much i've loved a guy before cause i loved him so much...
bi-curious maybe?
i dunno.

but dont tell my mother :|
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on September 29, 2009, 05:54:06 AM
I'm Straight
but I've kissed a guy :L
it was just a bit of a joke
we where on holiday in Austria Skiing
and for some odd reason we decided to play Spin the bottle
with all guys -.-
it was actually partly my fault we played it because some1 said lets play truth or dare and i then ended up getting confused and taught everyone how to play spin the bottle  ;D
anyway i eventually got up to the stage i had to kiss with tongue and ended up doing it to one guy but pulling out after that

also i just want to say Ive got quite a few gay or bi sexual friends
there orientation doesn't me at all
and I'd defend them as well as i could if they where getting shit for it

another thing
i dress very camp and its great xD

God, that sounds hot... :P
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The King of Carrot Flowers on September 30, 2009, 10:44:38 PM
we where on holiday in Austria Skiing
and for some odd reason we decided to play Spin the bottle
with all guys -.-
Some of my friends - boys and girls - played a game of spin the cell phone, and nearly every pairing was same-sex. I wasn't there, and after hearing about it, I was like "What the fuck? I have one opportunity to have a homosexual encounter without any attachments and I miss it? This sucks!"

Bi, only kissed girls. Life is boring.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Existential on October 01, 2009, 11:09:12 AM
Bi, only kissed girls. Life is boring.

Straight, kissed guys and girls. Lifes fucked Up.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on October 01, 2009, 02:48:36 PM
Bi, only kissed girls. Life is boring.

Straight, kissed guys and girls. Lifes fucked Up.

Bi, girls annoy me. Life is mostly normal.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on October 01, 2009, 03:03:12 PM
the only gay people in my town seem to be seriously mentally ill. yay.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on October 01, 2009, 03:09:40 PM
Oh, grim. Though mental illness isn't that horrific, I'm sure you could work round it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on October 01, 2009, 03:10:58 PM
Ugh guys really are assholes...pity they are so fucking hot.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on October 01, 2009, 03:14:09 PM
Oh, grim. Though mental illness isn't that horrific, I'm sure you could work round it.
i think i have already enough problems of my own, honestly.
i don't think there's anyone in the world 100% sane, but this is a bit too much.
i know i'm an ugly ugly ugly person to say this, but i'm really not into the really crazy girl look. i don't ask for supermodels, but uhm someone who looks mentally sane would be good. i love fucked up, weird looks. but not ''ill''-looking. i don't even make sense though.
i'm not into totals psychos. yes, i'm an ugly person ok?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on October 02, 2009, 12:12:17 PM
Oooh, they LOOK crazy. No, that's totally allowed - if you don't fancy them then bollocks to it. But if you do fancy them and they're mentally ill and then you decide you don't want to be with them because of it, THEN you're a bad person.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on October 02, 2009, 12:14:30 PM
Oooh, they LOOK crazy. No, that's totally allowed - if you don't fancy them then bollocks to it. But if you do fancy them and they're mentally ill and then you decide you don't want to be with them because of it, THEN you're a bad person.
i find myself hypocritical though. if i liked a person  and they were really hot and then found out they're mentally ill i'd probably still fancy them.
but if they are totally crazy AND look crazy, i could never fancy them.  :-\ so yeah, bitch!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on October 02, 2009, 12:17:05 PM
Oooh, they LOOK crazy. No, that's totally allowed - if you don't fancy them then bollocks to it. But if you do fancy them and they're mentally ill and then you decide you don't want to be with them because of it, THEN you're a bad person.
i find myself hypocritical though. if i liked a person  and they were really hot and then found out they're mentally ill i'd probably still fancy them.
but if they are totally crazy AND look crazy, i could never fancy them.  :-\ so yeah, bitch!

That's not being a bitch! You can't fancy someone if you don't FANCY them. You have to be physically attracted to them or it just doesn't work. I mean, if you don't find them hot then it's not a thing, they're not a crush or anything, they're just someone you know! I mean, if the crazy-looking person wasn't ill, just looked it, then you not fancying them is totally OK.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The King of Carrot Flowers on October 02, 2009, 11:04:55 PM
Ugh guys really are assholes...
Lucky me.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: turtle club on October 11, 2009, 07:37:35 AM
i don't know.

i'm categorising myself as bi at this stage, but then i realised that i haven't had any boy crushes.
and... well, there is about 5 girls at my school who i might like... but i'm not even sure.  :-\
and all of them are leaving the school, or have already left.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on October 11, 2009, 07:55:31 AM
I had a really awkward conversation with one of my flatmates about my sexuality.
I mean, I always saw myself as straight, but then I met my first girl crush and now I'm not sure.

So, he asked something about "any boys last night?" and i was like, nope not last night. and he somehow took that to mean that i'd had girls. well, anyway, it consisted of him talking incessantly and me staring at the ground.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on October 11, 2009, 08:54:02 AM
I had a really awkward conversation with one of my flatmates about my sexuality.
I mean, I always saw myself as straight, but then I met my first girl crush and now I'm not sure.

So, he asked something about "any boys last night?" and i was like, nope not last night. and he somehow took that to mean that i'd had girls. well, anyway, it consisted of him talking incessantly and me staring at the ground.

Whats your girl crush like? :)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on October 11, 2009, 09:25:19 AM
I had a really awkward conversation with one of my flatmates about my sexuality.
I mean, I always saw myself as straight, but then I met my first girl crush and now I'm not sure.

So, he asked something about "any boys last night?" and i was like, nope not last night. and he somehow took that to mean that i'd had girls. well, anyway, it consisted of him talking incessantly and me staring at the ground.

Whats your girl crush like? :)

she's really cute and gorgeous and SO crazy haha. but, she's like my best friend here and she's straight so obviously nothing's ever going to happen, but I'm ok with that :)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on October 11, 2009, 09:33:20 AM
I had a really awkward conversation with one of my flatmates about my sexuality.
I mean, I always saw myself as straight, but then I met my first girl crush and now I'm not sure.

So, he asked something about "any boys last night?" and i was like, nope not last night. and he somehow took that to mean that i'd had girls. well, anyway, it consisted of him talking incessantly and me staring at the ground.

Whats your girl crush like? :)

she's really cute and gorgeous and SO crazy haha. but, she's like my best friend here and she's straight so obviously nothing's ever going to happen, but I'm ok with that :)

Aww :) Thats awesome! And you never know..the unexpected can always happen!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: J_Beck on October 22, 2009, 03:41:53 AM
Not in English but if you can Netflix it try "The Bubble" it is a great movie dealing with both gay rights and the Israeli Palestinian conflict.

http://www.youtube.com/v/Ou4UFIiY1wk
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on October 22, 2009, 06:43:38 PM
Not in English but if you can Netflix it try "The Bubble" it is a great movie dealing with both gay rights and the Israeli Palestinian conflict.

http://www.youtube.com/v/Ou4UFIiY1wk

Those are two of my favorite things!

*EDIT* Those are to things of great interest to me.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The King of Carrot Flowers on October 22, 2009, 08:59:16 PM
My crush raised an interesting point.

He said that when he was younger, he used to wonder if he was gay, but he came to the conclusion that he wasn't.

I agreed with him that, generally speaking, it's natural to ponder one's sexuality, especially as they come to grasp the idea that not everybody is straight.

Thoughts?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on October 23, 2009, 07:39:15 AM
I agreed with him that, generally speaking, it's natural to ponder one's sexuality, especially as they come to grasp the idea that not everybody is straight.
Definitely. I think everyone should question their own sexuality, because all it is is self-discovery and becoming more familiar with who you really are. If someone thinks they're straight, questions that, and decides that they are, in fact, straight... ok! Good for them. At least they had the open mind to really ask. That's my perspective...

(I actually had this convo with the crush a few weeks ago, and I said the exact same thing. She said she hasn't questioned herself yet  ^-^ Hey-ooo!)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on October 23, 2009, 07:46:33 AM
I agreed with him that, generally speaking, it's natural to ponder one's sexuality, especially as they come to grasp the idea that not everybody is straight.
Definitely. I think everyone should question their own sexuality, because all it is is self-discovery and becoming more familiar with who you really are. If someone thinks they're straight, questions that, and decides that they are, in fact, straight... ok! Good for them. At least they had the open mind to really ask. That's my perspective...

(I actually had this convo with the crush a few weeks ago, and I said the exact same thing. She said she hasn't questioned herself yet  ^-^ Hey-ooo!)


Not to rain on your parade, Bianca, but questioning your sexuality doesn't always mean experimentation xD

Certainly though I agree that it's important for people to think about their sexuality, not even just for the whole straight/gay/bi thing but because I think it's important to know what are the things that you enjoy sexually. Would save a lot of faffing about if people could just say to their partners, "I think this, this and that. I'd like to see if I like the other thing as much as I think I think I probably will."
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on October 23, 2009, 08:41:27 AM
Not to rain on your parade, Bianca, but questioning your sexuality doesn't always mean experimentation xD
Ha, no, I totally agree.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on October 23, 2009, 01:25:52 PM
Not to rain on your parade, Bianca, but questioning your sexuality doesn't always mean experimentation xD
Ha, no, I totally agree.

Though if you wanna "question your sexuality" with me anytime, that's just fine.... ;)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on October 23, 2009, 02:05:37 PM
Not to rain on your parade, Bianca, but questioning your sexuality doesn't always mean experimentation xD
Ha, no, I totally agree.

Though if you wanna "question your sexuality" with me anytime, that's just fine.... ;)

Haha!..How terribly flirtatious..


Double team?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on October 23, 2009, 02:32:10 PM
Not to rain on your parade, Bianca, but questioning your sexuality doesn't always mean experimentation xD
Ha, no, I totally agree.

Though if you wanna "question your sexuality" with me anytime, that's just fine.... ;)
Ahahaha! I love it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on October 24, 2009, 06:26:39 AM
Not to rain on your parade, Bianca, but questioning your sexuality doesn't always mean experimentation xD
Ha, no, I totally agree.

Though if you wanna "question your sexuality" with me anytime, that's just fine.... ;)

Haha!..How terribly flirtatious..


Double team?

You make it sound like we're going to wrestle her, not "wrestle" her... xD
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on October 24, 2009, 10:56:44 PM
Not to rain on your parade, Bianca, but questioning your sexuality doesn't always mean experimentation xD
Ha, no, I totally agree.

Though if you wanna "question your sexuality" with me anytime, that's just fine.... ;)

Haha!..How terribly flirtatious..


Double team?

You make it sound like we're going to wrestle her, not "wrestle" her... xD

Haa! I mean it in a delicate way, promise :)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Johnny on October 25, 2009, 12:58:26 AM
i'm so god damn tired of the the little gay jokes and quips directed at me that if i hear one more i'm going to choke a fucker.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The King of Carrot Flowers on October 25, 2009, 11:14:27 PM
i'm so god damn tired of the the little gay jokes and quips directed at me that if i hear one more i'm going to choke a fucker.
Amen.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on October 27, 2009, 07:16:58 AM
I had fully intended to post something like the following right now:

"HELLO, SHADOWBOX!

IN CASE YOU HADN'T NOTICED, I'M GAY.
BEING GAY ROCKS."

And then I realized I wanted to make it:

"HELLO, SHADOWBOX!

IN CASE YOU HADN'T NOTICED, I'M ALIVE.
LIFE ROCKS."

I think I'm getting at is that a person will be happy with their sexuality as long as their happy with their life. It's kind of like what Amanda was saying in the "WKAP: Dissecting The Puzzle" video, what we do is what will happen. People should strive for a place in life they can be happy with their sexuality and strive for a place in life where they can be sure of it. People shouldn't always have to question themselves or their preferences, which is what sexuality is, really.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: l i s a on October 28, 2009, 07:46:54 AM
I guess I'm bi.....
Eh. That means I have to 'come out' right?
I don't want to, is that like, a type of attitude suggesting that I'm ashamed???
I'm n0t, just.....scared I'll lose people....
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on October 28, 2009, 07:52:42 AM
Lisa, I sort of "came out" to myself about a year ago - actually a bit more, now I think of it - and I've still not come out to most people I know. I'm not going to, either, until we're in a situation where I feel safe and like I can come out, and I don't think you should either. It's not worth bringing that all down on yourself. And it's not like it really even matters; generally, people just don't give a shit. Like I've not told people at school that I'm bi, they just get the picture from the fact that I talk about boys and girls in the same way. But no-one really cares. I've actively told about three or four people, but that was right way back when I was figuring things out for myself and needed people to bounce my feelings off. Everyone else just sort of gets the picture.

As for being ashamed, I hated the fact I was bi for aaaages. I just wanted to be what I thought of as "normal", and I didn't want all the fuss about being bi to be happening to me. After a while I realised that sexuality is like... I dunno, it's like having brown hair; it's just there. Doesn't make any difference to who you are as a person, it's nothing to write home about, it just sort of is, you know?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on October 28, 2009, 11:34:13 AM
I recently had a falling out with a friend. He called me a coward because I hadn't come out. I pointed;l out that he hadn't come out because he hadn't told
his family he was gay. He said the words "that's so stupid" a few hundered times and told me that his family would reject him if he did, claiming that that somehow exempts him. He went on to call me a coward again, so I haven't talked to him since.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Hayley Fiasco! on October 28, 2009, 12:07:10 PM
I recently had a falling out with a friend. He called me a coward because I hadn't come out. I pointed;l out that he hadn't come out because he hadn't told
his family he was gay. He said the words "that's so stupid" a few hundered times and told me that his family would reject him if he did, claiming that that somehow exempts him. He went on to call me a coward again, so I haven't talked to him since.
Seems to me he is projecting his own insecurities and fears on to you. maybe HE feels like a coward.

Why else would he be such a hypocrite & unsupportive?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on October 28, 2009, 12:09:26 PM
I told him that he was being wildy hypocritical, and again I'm met with endless choirs of "that's so stupid"
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on October 28, 2009, 12:12:25 PM
The correct response in this situation, I feel, would be to flick him on the nose and yell, "YOU'RE so stupid!!" and then run off giggling.

I'm with Haley, he's clearly uncomfortable himself so he's making things hard on you. Tard.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on October 28, 2009, 01:58:00 PM
In this case your friend had factors that make him not want to come out, so he obviously hasn't, but he also hasn't taken into account there may be factors for you, too, which is beyond hypocritical.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Ryan James on October 28, 2009, 09:40:15 PM
In this case your friend had factors that make him not want to come out, so he obviously hasn't, but he also hasn't taken into account there may be factors for you, too, which is beyond hypocritical.
I agree, I'm not out to my family. Perhaps they know, but my parents are the type that wouldn't even talk about it to one another if they had the strong suspicion (and how could you not?). My parents are supporting me right and essentially putting me through college, if I told them that I were gay, that might not be the case, and that's not a chance I'm willing to take, because I need my education, and I think that's reasonable. So that being said, I can see your friends point, but having not truly been out to the rest of the world until my sophomore year in high school, I also understand where you're coming from, and certainly he may not be taking into consideration the pressure you may be under. Just out of curiosity what are you reasons for not being out Epigrammic? are you just not out to your family or are you not really out to most anyone?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on October 28, 2009, 10:33:50 PM
In this case your friend had factors that make him not want to come out, so he obviously hasn't, but he also hasn't taken into account there may be factors for you, too, which is beyond hypocritical.
I agree, I'm not out to my family. Perhaps they know, but my parents are the type that wouldn't even talk about it to one another if they had the strong suspicion (and how could you not?). My parents are supporting me right and essentially putting me through college, if I told them that I were gay, that might not be the case, and that's not a chance I'm willing to take, because I need my education, and I think that's reasonable. So that being said, I can see your friends point, but having not truly been out to the rest of the world until my sophomore year in high school, I also understand where you're coming from, and certainly he may not be taking into consideration the pressure you may be under. Just out of curiosity what are you reasons for not being out Epigrammic? are you just not out to your family or are you not really out to most anyone?

Well I live in Ashbourne and all of my friends there know, but in school, only my friend Sadhbh and the guy we're talking about knows. The only reason told him is because of this whole messy thing, as seen in "The Gush About Your Crush Thread" and "The People Who Wanna Punch Full Force In The Face Thread". I would tell ALL of my friends in school BUT: my brother is a teacher in my school, and if it got out, the news would eventually, one way or another get back to him, and to my parents.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on October 28, 2009, 10:36:12 PM
Also, I found the first chatlog: http://docs.google.com/View?docID=0Abh_Qe03yxrdZGNiZ3d4eDhfN2hjcXd6bWRt&revision=_latest
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Johnny on October 29, 2009, 01:15:09 AM
Now that my coworkers know i'm gay they're all trying to set me up with their gay best friends and the other gays in the office.


 ;D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on October 29, 2009, 05:05:26 PM
Now that my coworkers know i'm gay they're all trying to set me up with their gay best friends and the other gays in the office.


 ;D

Well that's just silly. Everyone knows that gay people already know each other anyway. Like black people, or people with no hair.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on October 29, 2009, 05:36:43 PM
Now that my coworkers know i'm gay they're all trying to set me up with their gay best friends and the other gays in the office.


 ;D

Well that's just silly. Everyone knows that gay people already know each other anyway. Like black people, or people with no hair.

And Protestants. Seriously. People seem to think we run an underground society where we swap our items of Protestantness in shady monthly meetings.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Johnny on October 29, 2009, 05:45:47 PM
Now that my coworkers know i'm gay they're all trying to set me up with their gay best friends and the other gays in the office.


 ;D

Well that's just silly. Everyone knows that gay people already know each other anyway. Like black people, or people with no hair.

i love this.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: choic on October 30, 2009, 11:03:23 AM
i'm so god damn tired of the the little gay jokes and quips directed at me that if i hear one more i'm going to choke a fucker.
i actually make gay jokes at other people. & call people faggots for the delightful irony.

am i a bad gay y/y
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Johnny on October 30, 2009, 12:34:51 PM
i'm so god damn tired of the the little gay jokes and quips directed at me that if i hear one more i'm going to choke a fucker.
i actually make gay jokes at other people. & call people faggots for the delightful irony.

am i a bad gay y/y

oh as do i.


I'm a bad gay, too.
I hate kylie minogue and I once spelled Cher like..."Share"

I'm on the gay mafia hit list now....because there totally is one.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on October 30, 2009, 01:55:05 PM
I'm a bad gay, too.
I hate kylie minogue and I once spelled Cher like..."Share"

I'm on the gay mafia hit list now....because there totally is one.

Elton has taken note.

You have been warned.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on October 30, 2009, 04:21:17 PM
I'm a bad gay man too!! Because I fancy women.... But I fancy men!! So I'm also a bad gay woman.... Man, I just suck.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pelle on October 30, 2009, 04:27:51 PM
^ ghehe

I suck too. I'm heterosexual but a lot of people thought I was gay or couldn't decide.

I honestly didn't know this. I am totally straight, though I don't mind hugging guys and I have said that I would bang CELEBRITY/NICE LOOKING GUY if I was gay.

My girlfriend thought I was gay and her gay friend (ironically) had to convince her otherwise.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on October 30, 2009, 04:39:56 PM

I once spelled Cher like..."Share"

I remember that, you should be ashamed.
You'll never turn back time with that attitude
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on October 30, 2009, 05:35:11 PM
I'm a bad gay man too!! Because I fancy women.... But I fancy men!! So I'm also a bad gay woman.... Man, I just suck.

You're just superbad, like the movie.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: 24hourchemist on October 30, 2009, 05:56:25 PM
Oh god...I just came out to my mum. Oh god.

Can I ask you guys, how were you emotionally when you began to realise you were gay (if you didn't like always know)?

Because for the past year I've been getting more and more certain and the last month or two I've been really overemotional, self absorbed and moody because I'd been spending so much time stressing about it and thinking about it and trying to work out how I actually felt.
I came out to one of my friends the other day and I really don't think it was a good idea, it was because I was upset and she wanted to know why I was so moody and it was just getting too much hiding it from everyone but I don't think I was really ready to tell her. Well anyway, she was okay with it but the next day I had an argument with her about something and now she's not talking to me.

I just don't think she realises how much of a MASSIVE thing it is for me. We have a friend (male) who is very openly gay but who everyone thinks he is just claiming this for attention and to feel up girls while hugging them. And I just don't think she understands how serious this is for me, how much courage it took me to tell her or how much I need her support now and not for her to abandon me over stupid arguments.

Anyway, I was going to tell my other best friend but she is also not talking to me and today it jsut got too much so I told my mum and it was terrifying. She was supportive though.

Gah text wall ^^^ I have got to stop using theshadowbox as an agony aunt.    
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on October 30, 2009, 10:55:52 PM
i'm so god damn tired of the the little gay jokes and quips directed at me that if i hear one more i'm going to choke a fucker.
i actually make gay jokes at other people. & call people faggots for the delightful irony.

am i a bad gay y/y
Duh, all gays are bad gays....
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on October 30, 2009, 11:25:59 PM
In the early 1980s, the Naval Investigative Service was investigating homosexuality in the Chicago area. Agents discovered that gay men sometimes referred to themselves as "friends of Dorothy." Unaware of the historical meaning of the term, the NIS believed that a woman named Dorothy was at the center of a massive ring of homosexual military personnel. The NIS launched an enormous hunt for Dorothy, hoping to find her and convince her to reveal the names of gay servicemembers.

 ;D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on October 30, 2009, 11:27:30 PM
In the early 1980s, the Naval Investigative Service was investigating homosexuality in the Chicago area. Agents discovered that gay men sometimes referred to themselves as "friends of Dorothy." Unaware of the historical meaning of the term, the NIS believed that a woman named Dorothy was at the center of a massive ring of homosexual military personnel. The NIS launched an enormous hunt for Dorothy, hoping to find her and convince her to reveal the names of gay servicemembers.

 ;D

I've heard the story, but never bothered to look into it....

Did this really happen, or is it just a good story?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on October 31, 2009, 12:25:52 AM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friend_of_Dorothy

for what it's worth.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on October 31, 2009, 12:52:20 AM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friend_of_Dorothy

for what it's worth.
It's a citation, albeit of a secondary source.  If the curiosity gets to me, I can look into
this Shilts fellow's sources.  Thanks.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on October 31, 2009, 07:38:39 AM
Oh god...I just came out to my mum. Oh god.

Can I ask you guys, how were you emotionally when you began to realise you were gay (if you didn't like always know)?

Because for the past year I've been getting more and more certain and the last month or two I've been really overemotional, self absorbed and moody because I'd been spending so much time stressing about it and thinking about it and trying to work out how I actually felt.
I came out to one of my friends the other day and I really don't think it was a good idea, it was because I was upset and she wanted to know why I was so moody and it was just getting too much hiding it from everyone but I don't think I was really ready to tell her. Well anyway, she was okay with it but the next day I had an argument with her about something and now she's not talking to me.

I just don't think she realises how much of a MASSIVE thing it is for me. We have a friend (male) who is very openly gay but who everyone thinks he is just claiming this for attention and to feel up girls while hugging them. And I just don't think she understands how serious this is for me, how much courage it took me to tell her or how much I need her support now and not for her to abandon me over stupid arguments.

Anyway, I was going to tell my other best friend but she is also not talking to me and today it jsut got too much so I told my mum and it was terrifying. She was supportive though.

Gah text wall ^^^ I have got to stop using theshadowbox as an agony aunt.    

Before i told anyone i was ridiculously miserable, went into a shell, and hid myself from the world basically. Then once i started telling people, and realised those who didnt care were my true friends (although ive been lucky up to now and everyone i know has always been cool with it), it became a lot easier. Having the support of you mum (or any family member) makes it easier too. Once you get over the initial difficult period then its worth it!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on October 31, 2009, 07:51:48 AM
^^ What she said. And never stop using us as an agony aunt. Just pay us with witty comebacks and we'll forgive you.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on October 31, 2009, 08:33:09 AM
^^ What she said. And never stop using us as an agony aunt. Just pay us with witty comebacks and we'll forgive you.

Or tea, because we like tea. That'd be nice..
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: 24hourchemist on October 31, 2009, 08:40:38 AM
^^ What she said. And never stop using us as an agony aunt. Just pay us with witty comebacks and we'll forgive you.

Or tea, because we like tea. That'd be nice..

Thanks so much :). Ah unfortuantely I make awful tea. I'm British aswell, it's just not right.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on October 31, 2009, 09:26:52 AM
^^ What she said. And never stop using us as an agony aunt. Just pay us with witty comebacks and we'll forgive you.

Or tea, because we like tea. That'd be nice..

Thanks so much :). Ah unfortuantely I make awful tea. I'm British aswell, it's just not right.

its okay, wit it will suffice :)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on October 31, 2009, 09:31:52 AM
If you call Gok Wan a poofter one more time I swear I will actually strangle you.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on October 31, 2009, 09:55:09 AM
If you call Gok Wan a poofter one more time I swear I will actually strangle you.

Sorry?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on October 31, 2009, 10:59:28 AM
If you call Gok Wan a poofter one more time I swear I will actually strangle you.

Sorry?

Pretty sure he's talking about his Dad (you are, right?)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on October 31, 2009, 12:45:44 PM
If you call Gok Wan a poofter one more time I swear I will actually strangle you.

Sorry?

Pretty sure he's talking about his Dad (you are, right?)

Graham.... I AM YOUR FATHER!!!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on October 31, 2009, 04:07:06 PM
If you call Gok Wan a poofter one more time I swear I will actually strangle you.

Sorry?

Pretty sure he's talking about his Dad (you are, right?)

Graham.... I AM YOUR FATHER!!!

(http://www.enjoyfrance.com/images/stories/world/entertainment/Gary-Glitter-back-to-thailand.jpg) + (http://beaut.ie/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/gok.jpg) = (http://fc03.deviantart.com/fs47/i/2009/223/1/6/Shuffle__Cut__and_Deal_by_TheJoanRiversMonster.jpg)?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Edric. on November 01, 2009, 01:35:00 AM
(http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/object/734/4/n2219080516_36587.jpg)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on November 01, 2009, 09:08:58 AM
(http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/object/734/4/n2219080516_36587.jpg)

This made me smile!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 01, 2009, 10:24:34 AM
That's right Graham. Don't be too distraught - maths was never your strong suit.

Also Edgar I love you.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on November 01, 2009, 10:37:29 AM
(http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/object/734/4/n2219080516_36587.jpg)

Did you see the vieo Johnny tweeted? The womanizer one
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Johnny on November 01, 2009, 12:53:03 PM
(http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/object/734/4/n2219080516_36587.jpg)

Did you see the vieo Johnny tweeted? The womanizer one

oh edgar yes! :D


and yeah, did you seee it? it's on twitterrererrr
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on November 03, 2009, 06:33:49 PM
I always knew Dorothy and I would have made amazing friends..
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 04, 2009, 04:17:21 PM
My fucking dad's a cock. He came home today from this training course today going, "Wow, I realised today that this man on the course is gay! Like he's actually gay! I mean, I was shocked - he didn't look gay, but apparently, wait for it... He's GAY!" And then he was talking about how him and his mate were walking round in London and saw "two men doing... well, what two men should be doing in their own homes, not in the street". Turns out he meant kissing. WTF >.<
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on November 04, 2009, 06:02:14 PM
My fucking dad's a cock. He came home today from this training course today going, "Wow, I realised today that this man on the course is gay! Like he's actually gay! I mean, I was shocked - he didn't look gay, but apparently, wait for it... He's GAY!" And then he was talking about how him and his mate were walking round in London and saw "two men doing... well, what two men should be doing in their own homes, not in the street". Turns out he meant kissing. WTF >.<

OMFG. People make me hate people.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 05, 2009, 11:06:49 AM
My fucking dad's a cock. He came home today from this training course today going, "Wow, I realised today that this man on the course is gay! Like he's actually gay! I mean, I was shocked - he didn't look gay, but apparently, wait for it... He's GAY!" And then he was talking about how him and his mate were walking round in London and saw "two men doing... well, what two men should be doing in their own homes, not in the street". Turns out he meant kissing. WTF >.<

OMFG. People make me hate people.

I KNOW RIGHT.

Him and my step-mum honestly feel like this about gay people, think that gay men are all supercamp and that lesbians are all superbutch and that both of them are sexual predators, and that bisexuals don't exist. So, not coming out to THEM any time soon.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on November 05, 2009, 01:43:45 PM
My fucking dad's a cock. He came home today from this training course today going, "Wow, I realised today that this man on the course is gay! Like he's actually gay! I mean, I was shocked - he didn't look gay, but apparently, wait for it... He's GAY!" And then he was talking about how him and his mate were walking round in London and saw "two men doing... well, what two men should be doing in their own homes, not in the street". Turns out he meant kissing. WTF >.<

OMFG. People make me hate people.

I KNOW RIGHT.

Him and my step-mum honestly feel like this about gay people, think that gay men are all supercamp and that lesbians are all superbutch and that both of them are sexual predators, and that bisexuals don't exist. So, not coming out to THEM any time soon.

Same here with my stupid bitch of a dad.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 05, 2009, 03:06:10 PM
My fucking dad's a cock. He came home today from this training course today going, "Wow, I realised today that this man on the course is gay! Like he's actually gay! I mean, I was shocked - he didn't look gay, but apparently, wait for it... He's GAY!" And then he was talking about how him and his mate were walking round in London and saw "two men doing... well, what two men should be doing in their own homes, not in the street". Turns out he meant kissing. WTF >.<

OMFG. People make me hate people.

I KNOW RIGHT.

Him and my step-mum honestly feel like this about gay people, think that gay men are all supercamp and that lesbians are all superbutch and that both of them are sexual predators, and that bisexuals don't exist. So, not coming out to THEM any time soon.

Same here with my stupid bitch of a dad.

DON'T YOU JUST HATE THEM?? Gah. Oh well - I guess it's just one of those things we have to deal with :( There's plenty of lovely and gorgeous people who don't care who we shag though, they can be our new parents. I DIBS CGB!!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on November 05, 2009, 03:21:24 PM
My fucking dad's a cock. He came home today from this training course today going, "Wow, I realised today that this man on the course is gay! Like he's actually gay! I mean, I was shocked - he didn't look gay, but apparently, wait for it... He's GAY!" And then he was talking about how him and his mate were walking round in London and saw "two men doing... well, what two men should be doing in their own homes, not in the street". Turns out he meant kissing. WTF >.<

OMFG. People make me hate people.

I KNOW RIGHT.

Him and my step-mum honestly feel like this about gay people, think that gay men are all supercamp and that lesbians are all superbutch and that both of them are sexual predators, and that bisexuals don't exist. So, not coming out to THEM any time soon.

Same here with my stupid bitch of a dad.

DON'T YOU JUST HATE THEM?? Gah. Oh well - I guess it's just one of those things we have to deal with :( There's plenty of lovely and gorgeous people who don't care who we shag though, they can be our new parents. I DIBS CGB!!

can i haz rosheen?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 05, 2009, 03:22:48 PM
My fucking dad's a cock. He came home today from this training course today going, "Wow, I realised today that this man on the course is gay! Like he's actually gay! I mean, I was shocked - he didn't look gay, but apparently, wait for it... He's GAY!" And then he was talking about how him and his mate were walking round in London and saw "two men doing... well, what two men should be doing in their own homes, not in the street". Turns out he meant kissing. WTF >.<

OMFG. People make me hate people.

I KNOW RIGHT.

Him and my step-mum honestly feel like this about gay people, think that gay men are all supercamp and that lesbians are all superbutch and that both of them are sexual predators, and that bisexuals don't exist. So, not coming out to THEM any time soon.

Same here with my stupid bitch of a dad.

DON'T YOU JUST HATE THEM?? Gah. Oh well - I guess it's just one of those things we have to deal with :( There's plenty of lovely and gorgeous people who don't care who we shag though, they can be our new parents. I DIBS CGB!!

can i haz rosheen?

Course, m'love. I want Froggy as my mummy though. Who's your daddy? (so tempted to shout, I'M THE DADDY!! at you now...)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on November 05, 2009, 03:26:16 PM
My fucking dad's a cock. He came home today from this training course today going, "Wow, I realised today that this man on the course is gay! Like he's actually gay! I mean, I was shocked - he didn't look gay, but apparently, wait for it... He's GAY!" And then he was talking about how him and his mate were walking round in London and saw "two men doing... well, what two men should be doing in their own homes, not in the street". Turns out he meant kissing. WTF >.<

OMFG. People make me hate people.

I KNOW RIGHT.

Him and my step-mum honestly feel like this about gay people, think that gay men are all supercamp and that lesbians are all superbutch and that both of them are sexual predators, and that bisexuals don't exist. So, not coming out to THEM any time soon.

Same here with my stupid bitch of a dad.

DON'T YOU JUST HATE THEM?? Gah. Oh well - I guess it's just one of those things we have to deal with :( There's plenty of lovely and gorgeous people who don't care who we shag though, they can be our new parents. I DIBS CGB!!

can i haz rosheen?

Course, m'love. I want Froggy as my mummy though. Who's your daddy? (so tempted to shout, I'M THE DADDY!! at you now...)

u iz ma daddizz
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 05, 2009, 03:28:18 PM
My fucking dad's a cock. He came home today from this training course today going, "Wow, I realised today that this man on the course is gay! Like he's actually gay! I mean, I was shocked - he didn't look gay, but apparently, wait for it... He's GAY!" And then he was talking about how him and his mate were walking round in London and saw "two men doing... well, what two men should be doing in their own homes, not in the street". Turns out he meant kissing. WTF >.<

OMFG. People make me hate people.

I KNOW RIGHT.

Him and my step-mum honestly feel like this about gay people, think that gay men are all supercamp and that lesbians are all superbutch and that both of them are sexual predators, and that bisexuals don't exist. So, not coming out to THEM any time soon.

Same here with my stupid bitch of a dad.

DON'T YOU JUST HATE THEM?? Gah. Oh well - I guess it's just one of those things we have to deal with :( There's plenty of lovely and gorgeous people who don't care who we shag though, they can be our new parents. I DIBS CGB!!

can i haz rosheen?

Course, m'love. I want Froggy as my mummy though. Who's your daddy? (so tempted to shout, I'M THE DADDY!! at you now...)

u iz ma daddizz

Raddddddd.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on November 05, 2009, 03:42:44 PM
My fucking dad's a cock. He came home today from this training course today going, "Wow, I realised today that this man on the course is gay! Like he's actually gay! I mean, I was shocked - he didn't look gay, but apparently, wait for it... He's GAY!" And then he was talking about how him and his mate were walking round in London and saw "two men doing... well, what two men should be doing in their own homes, not in the street". Turns out he meant kissing. WTF >.<

OMFG. People make me hate people.

I KNOW RIGHT.

Him and my step-mum honestly feel like this about gay people, think that gay men are all supercamp and that lesbians are all superbutch and that both of them are sexual predators, and that bisexuals don't exist. So, not coming out to THEM any time soon.

Same here with my stupid bitch of a dad.

DON'T YOU JUST HATE THEM?? Gah. Oh well - I guess it's just one of those things we have to deal with :( There's plenty of lovely and gorgeous people who don't care who we shag though, they can be our new parents. I DIBS CGB!!

can i haz rosheen?

Course, m'love. I want Froggy as my mummy though. Who's your daddy? (so tempted to shout, I'M THE DADDY!! at you now...)

u iz ma daddizz

Raddddddd.

:D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pope Totalfrog on November 05, 2009, 04:50:05 PM
Course, m'love. I want Froggy as my mummy though. Who's your daddy? (so tempted to shout, I'M THE DADDY!! at you now...)

Are you sure about that?  ;D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on November 05, 2009, 05:28:51 PM
yay i'm an internet mum! :D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on November 05, 2009, 07:31:10 PM
yay i'm an internet mum! :D
Hello, Mammy :)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on November 06, 2009, 03:07:54 AM
My fucking dad's a cock. He came home today from this training course today going, "Wow, I realised today that this man on the course is gay! Like he's actually gay! I mean, I was shocked - he didn't look gay, but apparently, wait for it... He's GAY!" And then he was talking about how him and his mate were walking round in London and saw "two men doing... well, what two men should be doing in their own homes, not in the street". Turns out he meant kissing. WTF >.<

OMFG. People make me hate people.

I KNOW RIGHT.

Him and my step-mum honestly feel like this about gay people, think that gay men are all supercamp and that lesbians are all superbutch and that both of them are sexual predators, and that bisexuals don't exist. So, not coming out to THEM any time soon.

Maybe you should, prove them wrong.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: l i s a on November 06, 2009, 05:41:14 AM
My mum had just got off the phone to her boyfriend who was supposed to shout us Chinese for dinner but ended up going to the pub and getting very drunk.
she then says:
"Seriously, Honestly, i hope you tow [my sister and i] turn out to be lesbians when you get older."
well, i'm a quarterway there, i felt like saying that, just couldnt >.<
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 06, 2009, 09:33:09 AM
Course, m'love. I want Froggy as my mummy though. Who's your daddy? (so tempted to shout, I'M THE DADDY!! at you now...)

Are you sure about that?  ;D

Super sure! You're spectacular and I love you very very much xD


My fucking dad's a cock. He came home today from this training course today going, "Wow, I realised today that this man on the course is gay! Like he's actually gay! I mean, I was shocked - he didn't look gay, but apparently, wait for it... He's GAY!" And then he was talking about how him and his mate were walking round in London and saw "two men doing... well, what two men should be doing in their own homes, not in the street". Turns out he meant kissing. WTF >.<

OMFG. People make me hate people.

I KNOW RIGHT.

Him and my step-mum honestly feel like this about gay people, think that gay men are all supercamp and that lesbians are all superbutch and that both of them are sexual predators, and that bisexuals don't exist. So, not coming out to THEM any time soon.

Maybe you should, prove them wrong.

It wouldn't prove them wrong, they'd just make like it's a phase I'm going through, ignore it completely or think that I'm being an attention-seeking wankfestival.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on November 06, 2009, 12:25:06 PM
My fucking dad's a cock. He came home today from this training course today going, "Wow, I realised today that this man on the course is gay! Like he's actually gay! I mean, I was shocked - he didn't look gay, but apparently, wait for it... He's GAY!" And then he was talking about how him and his mate were walking round in London and saw "two men doing... well, what two men should be doing in their own homes, not in the street". Turns out he meant kissing. WTF >.<

OMFG. People make me hate people.

I KNOW RIGHT.

Him and my step-mum honestly feel like this about gay people, think that gay men are all supercamp and that lesbians are all superbutch and that both of them are sexual predators, and that bisexuals don't exist. So, not coming out to THEM any time soon.

Maybe you should, prove them wrong.

It wouldn't prove them wrong, they'd just make like it's a phase I'm going through, ignore it completely or think that I'm being an attention-seeking wankfestival.


My mom tried to send me to counseling.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 06, 2009, 12:45:06 PM
My fucking dad's a cock. He came home today from this training course today going, "Wow, I realised today that this man on the course is gay! Like he's actually gay! I mean, I was shocked - he didn't look gay, but apparently, wait for it... He's GAY!" And then he was talking about how him and his mate were walking round in London and saw "two men doing... well, what two men should be doing in their own homes, not in the street". Turns out he meant kissing. WTF >.<

OMFG. People make me hate people.

I KNOW RIGHT.

Him and my step-mum honestly feel like this about gay people, think that gay men are all supercamp and that lesbians are all superbutch and that both of them are sexual predators, and that bisexuals don't exist. So, not coming out to THEM any time soon.

Maybe you should, prove them wrong.

It wouldn't prove them wrong, they'd just make like it's a phase I'm going through, ignore it completely or think that I'm being an attention-seeking wankfestival.


My mom tried to send me to counseling.

That happened with a friend of mine when she came out at school - they sent her to the school shrink. It's a fucking disgrace.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Existential on November 06, 2009, 02:51:03 PM
My fucking dad's a cock. He came home today from this training course today going, "Wow, I realised today that this man on the course is gay! Like he's actually gay! I mean, I was shocked - he didn't look gay, but apparently, wait for it... He's GAY!" And then he was talking about how him and his mate were walking round in London and saw "two men doing... well, what two men should be doing in their own homes, not in the street". Turns out he meant kissing. WTF >.<

OMFG. People make me hate people.

I KNOW RIGHT.

Him and my step-mum honestly feel like this about gay people, think that gay men are all supercamp and that lesbians are all superbutch and that both of them are sexual predators, and that bisexuals don't exist. So, not coming out to THEM any time soon.

Maybe you should, prove them wrong.

It wouldn't prove them wrong, they'd just make like it's a phase I'm going through, ignore it completely or think that I'm being an attention-seeking wankfestival.


My mom tried to send me to counseling.

That happened with a friend of mine when she came out at school - they sent her to the school shrink. It's a fucking disgrace.

that is a fiucking disgrace
people have the right to choose
its not that ur born that way
or that u have something wrong with you
its just who you are
its nothing new or special...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 06, 2009, 03:07:33 PM
You think you can choose your sexuality? I'd always argue that you are born that way - I can't help who I fancy any more than a straight kid.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on November 06, 2009, 03:41:05 PM
You think you can choose your sexuality? I'd always argue that you are born that way - I can't help who I fancy any more than a straight kid.
I agree with being born like this, but I'm not sure that's what he meant.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 06, 2009, 03:57:18 PM
You think you can choose your sexuality? I'd always argue that you are born that way - I can't help who I fancy any more than a straight kid.
I agree with being born like this, but I'm not sure that's what he meant.

I realised it probably wasn't, but I thought it was interesting anyway.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on November 06, 2009, 05:50:43 PM
one of the biggest fundie arguments is that homosexuality is a choice.  funnily, i guess that means a percent of the population, in their eyes, made the choice to be pariahs and looked upon with suspicion and hatred by the fundies, and much of the rest of the het world.  kinda puts a hole in the choice argument.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on November 07, 2009, 11:34:11 AM

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
P.e Teacher. laughed in my face cos i couldn't do p.e cos i burned my hand on my straightners ;P. he tod the rest of the p.e teachers, and he just picked on me for a 2 whole years.


That's actually really stupid because nearly half the guys in my school use straighteners.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 07, 2009, 12:10:52 PM

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
P.e Teacher. laughed in my face cos i couldn't do p.e cos i burned my hand on my straightners ;P. he tod the rest of the p.e teachers, and he just picked on me for a 2 whole years.


That's actually really stupid because nearly half the guys in my school use straighteners.

Yeah, but it would still be hilarious if they did it >.<


And Agonistes, don't forget - you can't spell CRAZY BASTARD FUNDAMENTALISM without FUN!!!!!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: stallionbreaker on November 07, 2009, 12:19:49 PM
or MENTAL!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 07, 2009, 12:28:56 PM
Or CRAZY BASTARD!!!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on November 07, 2009, 02:40:32 PM

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
P.e Teacher. laughed in my face cos i couldn't do p.e cos i burned my hand on my straightners ;P. he tod the rest of the p.e teachers, and he just picked on me for a 2 whole years.


That's actually really stupid because nearly half the guys in my school use straighteners.

Yeah, but it would still be hilarious if they did it >.<


And Agonistes, don't forget - you can't spell CRAZY BASTARD FUNDAMENTALISM without FUN!!!!!



well, and never let it be said that i would want to take the fun out of fundamentalism. 
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 07, 2009, 03:38:29 PM

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
P.e Teacher. laughed in my face cos i couldn't do p.e cos i burned my hand on my straightners ;P. he tod the rest of the p.e teachers, and he just picked on me for a 2 whole years.


That's actually really stupid because nearly half the guys in my school use straighteners.

Yeah, but it would still be hilarious if they did it >.<


And Agonistes, don't forget - you can't spell CRAZY BASTARD FUNDAMENTALISM without FUN!!!!!



well, and never let it be said that i would want to take the fun out of fundamentalism. 

Of course not. Then you'd be left with DAMENTALISM which is only one keyboard stroke from DA MENTALISM which summons forth (in my mind, at least) image upon image of a hugely racist stereotypical black man in a mental hospital with a little nurse going, "Hey, what're you even in here for" to him and him yelling "DA MENTALISM, BIATCH!!" and then dancing like it's Hammertime.


Ridiculous, I know.



It's aaaalways Hammertime....
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on November 07, 2009, 04:11:17 PM
I think the choice is whether or not to embrace one's sexual orientation. I'm sure there are many gay people who pretend they're straight.
But yeah, gayness is in one's jeans (errr, genes) or anyhow it is not something that can be choosed.
One of my friends here is BI and she told her mother who sent her to a shrink. I mean, seriously? I think it's fucking pathetic and dangerous and wroooong.
My parents are in the gay bashing bunch so I'm obviously not coming out to them until I live under the same roof as them.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The King of Carrot Flowers on November 07, 2009, 10:27:39 PM
I think everyone is born with the propensity to be gay/straight/bi/trans/what have you, and there are just certain factors in nature and nurture which up those odds.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: l i s a on November 07, 2009, 11:45:37 PM
my nan has this theory that if a Girl does not get along with her father, she will most likely end up gay because she doesnt know how to handle men
and if a Boy doesn't get along with his mother, he will most likely be gay

i disagree with her, because some women don't have a father figure which is why they look for guys, for a male figure.
and i love love love my daddy and i get along with him really well, and im bi (OH MY HOLY FUCK I JUST ADMITTED IT.)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on November 07, 2009, 11:48:20 PM
my nan has this theory that if a Girl does not get along with her father, she will most likely end up gay because she doesnt know how to handle men
and if a Boy doesn't get along with his mother, he will most likely be gay

i disagree with her, because some women don't have a father figure which is why they look for guys, for a male figure.
and i love love love my daddy and i get along with him really well, and im bi (OH MY HOLY FUCK I JUST ADMITTED IT.)

tell your nan that i know a lot more gay girls who are 'daddy's girl' and don't get along as well with their moms than i do the other way around.  but that's just my experience.

and, nicely done.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on November 08, 2009, 01:13:33 AM
My fucking dad's a cock. He came home today from this training course today going, "Wow, I realised today that this man on the course is gay! Like he's actually gay! I mean, I was shocked - he didn't look gay, but apparently, wait for it... He's GAY!" And then he was talking about how him and his mate were walking round in London and saw "two men doing... well, what two men should be doing in their own homes, not in the street". Turns out he meant kissing. WTF >.<

OMFG. People make me hate people.

I KNOW RIGHT.

Him and my step-mum honestly feel like this about gay people, think that gay men are all supercamp and that lesbians are all superbutch and that both of them are sexual predators, and that bisexuals don't exist. So, not coming out to THEM any time soon.

Maybe you should, prove them wrong.

It wouldn't prove them wrong, they'd just make like it's a phase I'm going through, ignore it completely or think that I'm being an attention-seeking wankfestival.


My mom tried to send me to counseling.

That happened with a friend of mine when she came out at school - they sent her to the school shrink. It's a fucking disgrace.

That does indeed suck, but in my experience most mental health professionals actually have a more informed understanding of human sexuality. The key word in that sentence of course is 'professionals'. I understand there are a lot of idiots who get into positions they shouldn't, but I would have thought most psychiatrists and psychologists would actually side with teh gay patient. Can you tell us what actually happened when she spoke to the school counsellor? Were they supportive or did they treat your friend with prejudice?

But yeah, gayness is in one's jeans (errr, genes) or anyhow it is not something that can be choosed.
One of my friends here is BI and she told her mother who sent her to a shrink. I mean, seriously? I think it's fucking pathetic and dangerous and wroooong.

Same question more or less. What did the shrink actually do? A lot of times they simply help their gay patients resolve their issues with their family.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: l i s a on November 08, 2009, 04:01:12 AM
i think , i feel that i'm too young to come out, and others will feel that way too, cause its sexuallity and all that... people would assume that i would look at any girl that walked past and ... well...y'know    ?

its weird, but i feel like i am not emotionally attracted to girls, i just find them extremely gorgeous and dont understand how not everyone can like them.... but more emotionally attracted to dudez... i can pick out a really hot guy, but he has to be really hot to make me smile.
hm. weird.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pope Totalfrog on November 08, 2009, 04:11:02 AM
i think , i feel that i'm too young to come out, and others will feel that way too, cause its sexuallity and all that... people would assume that i would look at any girl that walked past and ... well...y'know    ?

its weird, but i feel like i am not emotionally attracted to girls, i just find them extremely gorgeous and dont understand how not everyone can like them.... but more emotionally attracted to dudez... i can pick out a really hot guy, but he has to be really hot to make me smile.
hm. weird.


At your age it is completely normal. It's just that no one talks about it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Wednesday Friday on November 08, 2009, 05:08:29 AM
http://www.youtube.com/v/tRlaxtIox7g&hl=en&fs=1&

I think this guy voices an interesting perspective on the whole gay/straight label thing. I agree with him that although sexuality is definitely not a choice, people are complex and when you put a label on yourself, which is what society wants people to do/is comfortable with, it can sometimes foreclose other possibilities.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 08, 2009, 07:47:19 AM
i think , i feel that i'm too young to come out, and others will feel that way too, cause its sexuallity and all that... people would assume that i would look at any girl that walked past and ... well...y'know    ?

its weird, but i feel like i am not emotionally attracted to girls, i just find them extremely gorgeous and dont understand how not everyone can like them.... but more emotionally attracted to dudez... i can pick out a really hot guy, but he has to be really hot to make me smile.
hm. weird.


Girls piss me the fuck off. I get on much better with guys. But then, I think that's not so much sexuality as the fact that a lot of girls I know are just really, really annoying xD I mean like they play into this idea of what girls are supposed to be like, rather than just being themselves, and they act in strange and illogical manners that I don't understand, and then they don't TELL you why they're doing that >.< But then guys who do that piss me off as well, and that doesn't stop girls from being gorgeous and soft and kissable xD Besides, like My Mum just said, it's your age - you don't know that you'll feel the same in a few years, and if you're not comfortable coming out then you totally shouldn't. That, at least, IS a choice.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on November 08, 2009, 11:08:00 AM
my nan has this theory that if a Girl does not get along with her father, she will most likely end up gay because she doesnt know how to handle men
and if a Boy doesn't get along with his mother, he will most likely be gay

i disagree with her, because some women don't have a father figure which is why they look for guys, for a male figure.
and i love love love my daddy and i get along with him really well, and im bi (OH MY HOLY FUCK I JUST ADMITTED IT.)

If anything, it's the opposite, and even at that, while it's true too a certain extent, it's by no means the only cause. One could argue that if a child is gay that would in turn make them more likely to seek more attention from the opposite gender parent.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Sarah Doll on November 08, 2009, 03:37:48 PM
My brother's convinced that I'll end up gay (not in a cruel-guys-will-never-love-me-way).. A lotta people in school thought I was coz they never really seen me with guys.. But there's always been a general concensus among my friends that I could never be gay.. Odd.
But I've been thinking about it lately after reading posts here.. I've always just liked who I liked. I don't have a particular type with anything; guys (though some say my type is 'scruffy'..kinda true :P ), clothes, music, movies.. I like a bitta everything. I've noticed lately that I do find myself noticing girls a bit. I just appreciate beauty I guess.
'Tis awkward to judge when I've only gone out with one guy for like a week which wasn't really anything... And no :-* s.. :-\
Hmm... We'll see :P
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on November 08, 2009, 04:48:18 PM
I just appreciate beauty I guess.

I always say this to my friend, and she laughs everytime!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Sarah Doll on November 08, 2009, 04:52:16 PM
I just appreciate beauty I guess.

I always say this to my friend, and she laughs everytime!

Aww.. There's nothin' wrong with noticing when sommmeth is mighty fine ;D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on November 08, 2009, 06:22:23 PM
I just appreciate beauty I guess.

I always say this to my friend, and she laughs everytime!

Aww.. There's nothin' wrong with noticing when sommmeth is mighty fine ;D

exactly :D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on November 09, 2009, 08:24:56 AM
i just found out that my lovely (although austere) french literature teacher is supposed to be gay. now, it does make sense, but i hadn't even thought about it...maybe cause he's almost 80. oh well.

AND
our english civilization professor, who's 28, is gay. (this is not a rumour, as my bi friend knows her...) she's sort of cute.

i find it curious that the two exams i have this week will be with gay professors. not that it changes anything, but still...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 09, 2009, 01:18:09 PM
EW OLD GAY PEOPLE!!! That's silly, everyone knows people don't have sex after 35, so how can you have sexuality?? Pshyah. Sylly Syl.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on November 09, 2009, 02:51:12 PM
you'd think by age thirty-nine i'd have broken a hip...but i'm still doing it.  gaily.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on November 09, 2009, 03:11:19 PM
THIRTY IS DEATH!!!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on November 09, 2009, 03:23:33 PM
EW OLD GAY PEOPLE!!!
Like that creepy Ian McKellen.  (For that matter, like an awful lot of the icons of British cinema...)


That's silly, everyone knows people don't have sex after 35, so how can you have sexuality?? Pshyah. Sylly Syl.
Your initial premise is inaccurate, and thus your whole argument invalid.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pope Totalfrog on November 09, 2009, 03:26:50 PM
THIRTY IS DEATH!!!

Can you make that forty? I turn thirty in a few weeks.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on November 09, 2009, 03:41:55 PM
THIRTY IS DEATH!!!

Can you make that forty? I turn thirty in a few weeks.
Ms. Indja is mistaken.  30 is just getting started, especially for wimmenz.  ^-^
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 09, 2009, 03:44:22 PM
THIRTY IS DEATH!!!

Can you make that forty? I turn thirty in a few weeks.
Ms. Indja is mistaken.  30 is just getting started, especially for wimmenz.  ^-^

How'd you know? You ain't seen a woman since you came out of one, girlfriiiieeend *side-to-side-clicking*

I'm sorry, Charles. Sometimes the funnies just must be said, even if they're not true or, um, funny.



Though that was a bit funny.... xD


But srsly though, I'm not aiming any further than 27. Which means I've only got ten years to live, OMFG!!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on November 09, 2009, 03:47:51 PM
THIRTY IS DEATH!!!

Can you make that forty? I turn thirty in a few weeks.
Ms. Indja is mistaken.  30 is just getting started, especially for wimmenz.  ^-^

How'd you know? You ain't seen a woman since you came out of one, girlfriiiieeend *side-to-side-clicking*

I'm sorry, Charles. Sometimes the funnies just must be said, even if they're not true or, um, funny.


Though that was a bit funny.... xD


But srsly though, I'm not aiming any further than 27. Which means I've only got ten years to live, OMFG!!
No offense taken, and I hope you enjoy your late-teens and 20-s (somewhat responsibly...),
but don't be too shocked when 28+ rolls around and it's OK.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 09, 2009, 03:53:27 PM
THIRTY IS DEATH!!!

Can you make that forty? I turn thirty in a few weeks.
Ms. Indja is mistaken.  30 is just getting started, especially for wimmenz.  ^-^

How'd you know? You ain't seen a woman since you came out of one, girlfriiiieeend *side-to-side-clicking*

I'm sorry, Charles. Sometimes the funnies just must be said, even if they're not true or, um, funny.


Though that was a bit funny.... xD


But srsly though, I'm not aiming any further than 27. Which means I've only got ten years to live, OMFG!!
No offense taken, and I hope you enjoy your late-teens and 20-s (somewhat responsibly...),
but don't be too shocked when 28+ rolls around and it's OK.

I'm holding out for the end of the world to come about on the 2nd July 2020 so I don't have to deal with that.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: stallionbreaker on November 09, 2009, 03:56:02 PM
THIRTY IS DEATH!!!

Can you make that forty? I turn thirty in a few weeks.
Ms. Indja is mistaken.  30 is just getting started, especially for wimmenz.  ^-^

How'd you know? You ain't seen a woman since you came out of one, girlfriiiieeend *side-to-side-clicking*

I'm sorry, Charles. Sometimes the funnies just must be said, even if they're not true or, um, funny.



Though that was a bit funny.... xD


But srsly though, I'm not aiming any further than 27. Which means I've only got ten years to live, OMFG!!
Jeez. Mine's only starting to get satisfying at 27.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 09, 2009, 03:57:36 PM
THIRTY IS DEATH!!!

Can you make that forty? I turn thirty in a few weeks.
Ms. Indja is mistaken.  30 is just getting started, especially for wimmenz.  ^-^

How'd you know? You ain't seen a woman since you came out of one, girlfriiiieeend *side-to-side-clicking*

I'm sorry, Charles. Sometimes the funnies just must be said, even if they're not true or, um, funny.



Though that was a bit funny.... xD


But srsly though, I'm not aiming any further than 27. Which means I've only got ten years to live, OMFG!!
Jeez. Mine's only starting to get satisfying at 27.

Rlly? I'm having a pretty good time of things!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: stallionbreaker on November 09, 2009, 04:01:26 PM
THIRTY IS DEATH!!!

Can you make that forty? I turn thirty in a few weeks.
Ms. Indja is mistaken.  30 is just getting started, especially for wimmenz.  ^-^

How'd you know? You ain't seen a woman since you came out of one, girlfriiiieeend *side-to-side-clicking*

I'm sorry, Charles. Sometimes the funnies just must be said, even if they're not true or, um, funny.



Though that was a bit funny.... xD


But srsly though, I'm not aiming any further than 27. Which means I've only got ten years to live, OMFG!!
Jeez. Mine's only starting to get satisfying at 27.

Rlly? I'm having a pretty good time of things!
Good!
I made things rough for myself earlier on.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 09, 2009, 04:23:36 PM
THIRTY IS DEATH!!!

Can you make that forty? I turn thirty in a few weeks.
Ms. Indja is mistaken.  30 is just getting started, especially for wimmenz.  ^-^

How'd you know? You ain't seen a woman since you came out of one, girlfriiiieeend *side-to-side-clicking*

I'm sorry, Charles. Sometimes the funnies just must be said, even if they're not true or, um, funny.



Though that was a bit funny.... xD


But srsly though, I'm not aiming any further than 27. Which means I've only got ten years to live, OMFG!!
Jeez. Mine's only starting to get satisfying at 27.

Rlly? I'm having a pretty good time of things!
Good!
I made things rough for myself earlier on.

Well that's frankly NEVER wise xD Anyway, I figure I'm gonna die young so I'd best make the most of it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: buttercup. on November 09, 2009, 04:43:08 PM
I'm kinda excited for thirty. But I've always been pretty okay with getting old. I'm just getting more awesome. Like a good wine. Except not.
I actually have a few good friends in their thirties.
I don't envy men though.
They just get balder and fatter and less hot.
Of course girls like Indja and I help with their egos.
I did almost marry a fat & balding thirty something year old.
But now he's bald and lost a lot of weight and actually attracting women that are fairly normal. Bleghh.



I just went kind of off topic moreso. Woops.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 09, 2009, 04:44:07 PM
Not if you've grown a penis in the last two minutes??
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: buttercup. on November 09, 2009, 05:19:16 PM
Not if you've grown a penis in the last two minutes??
No?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 09, 2009, 05:19:48 PM
Not if you've grown a penis in the last two minutes??
No?

Then quick, say something gay - then they'll never know!!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: buttercup. on November 09, 2009, 05:21:56 PM
Not if you've grown a penis in the last two minutes??
No?

Then quick, say something gay - then they'll never know!!

Uhm, indie, here's some undying lesbo love. *hump*
now to wash with some manly man soap and look at pictures of seth green and joe pug and other hot manly men. put on some stan rogers, light some candles, and melt the lesboyness off.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on November 09, 2009, 06:57:40 PM
Lesbians actually seem to not age as much.
THIRTY-FIVE IS LESBIAN DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But otherwise, I stand by what I said.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: buttercup. on November 09, 2009, 07:10:07 PM
Lesbians actually seem to not age as much.
THIRTY-FIVE IS LESBIAN DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But otherwise, I stand by what I said.
Hippie women age slower as well.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on November 09, 2009, 07:31:11 PM
And Nina Hagen.
Seriously, she's like eighty or something.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pope Totalfrog on November 09, 2009, 07:34:00 PM
Lesbians actually seem to not age as much.
THIRTY-FIVE IS LESBIAN DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But otherwise, I stand by what I said.
Hippie women age slower as well.

So do punk rock housewives.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: buttercup. on November 09, 2009, 07:36:01 PM
Lesbians actually seem to not age as much.
THIRTY-FIVE IS LESBIAN DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But otherwise, I stand by what I said.
Hippie women age slower as well.

So do punk rock housewives.
Of course, of course.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The King of Carrot Flowers on November 10, 2009, 11:12:23 PM
Ellen DeGeneres  used to be the kind of ambiguous "maybe she is, maybe she isn't" lesbian.
Now she's all-out, fine-suit-wearing, fauxhawk-sporting, Italian crime boss BUTCH.
And I like it!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Wednesday Friday on November 11, 2009, 12:04:56 AM
Ellen DeGeneres  used to be the kind of ambiguous "maybe she is, maybe she isn't" lesbian.
Now she's all-out, fine-suit-wearing, fauxhawk-sporting, Italian crime boss BUTCH.
And I like it!

w3rd. and she has a hot ass wife.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on November 11, 2009, 07:31:26 AM
Ellen DeGeneres  used to be the kind of ambiguous "maybe she is, maybe she isn't" lesbian.
Now she's all-out, fine-suit-wearing, fauxhawk-sporting, Italian crime boss BUTCH.
And I like it!
I love her hair!
And she's still hilarious.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Hayley Fiasco! on November 13, 2009, 09:28:11 PM
Ellen DeGeneres  used to be the kind of ambiguous "maybe she is, maybe she isn't" lesbian.
Now she's all-out, fine-suit-wearing, fauxhawk-sporting, Italian crime boss BUTCH.
And I like it!
I love her hair!
And she's still hilarious.

Yeah, thank goodness coming out didn't ruin her career...

...or her sense of humor.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on November 13, 2009, 09:38:03 PM
Lesbians actually seem to not age as much.
THIRTY-FIVE IS LESBIAN DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But otherwise, I stand by what I said.

thirty five is not lesbian death.  fifty is.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on November 13, 2009, 10:58:06 PM
Lesbians actually seem to not age as much.
THIRTY-FIVE IS LESBIAN DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But otherwise, I stand by what I said.

thirty five is not lesbian death.  fifty is.
Really?  What about those adorable old couples who just tell people they're "cousins"?

They always seem to live in really old houses with a half-dozen cats...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on November 14, 2009, 02:26:12 AM
Lesbians actually seem to not age as much.
THIRTY-FIVE IS LESBIAN DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But otherwise, I stand by what I said.

thirty five is not lesbian death.  fifty is.
Really?  What about those adorable old couples who just tell people they're "cousins"?

They always seem to live in really old houses with a half-dozen cats...

they're not dead, not really.  they're shagging like mad when the blinds are drawn, it's like a porno in there.  but, it doesn't count unless they're necking in public at a food court somewhere.


besides, remember i am from alabama.  sometimes they ARE cousins.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: imaginary friend on November 14, 2009, 07:53:15 PM
well, it's not like they're gonna breed.

#@!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on November 15, 2009, 09:02:09 AM
well, it's not like they're gonna breed.

#@!

no, that's mississippi.   :D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: J_Beck on November 21, 2009, 12:24:14 AM
Documentary on gay Orthodox/Hasidic Jews

http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/trembling_before_g_d/ (http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/trembling_before_g_d/)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: nottheonethatscrazy on November 21, 2009, 12:24:55 AM
Documentary on gay Orthodox/Hasidic Jews

http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/trembling_before_g_d/ (http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/trembling_before_g_d/)
That's an awesome movie.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on November 26, 2009, 04:08:30 PM
my friend wants to set me up with a girl lol.
i actually kind of want a lesbian experience, but it scares me a little.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on November 26, 2009, 04:12:41 PM
my friend wants to set me up with a girl lol.
i actually kind of want a lesbian experience, but it scares me a little.

Aah, girls are nothing to be scared of - they don't bite. Unless you ask them to.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on November 26, 2009, 04:15:52 PM
my friend wants to set me up with a girl lol.
i actually kind of want a lesbian experience, but it scares me a little.

Aah, girls are nothing to be scared of - they don't bite. Unless you ask them to.

i know they don't bite unless i ask lol, it's just that if i'm going to have a lesbian experience, it's not going to be the other girls first time, and honestly i have NO idea (ok well i do have an idea) of how it works. lol.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on November 26, 2009, 07:00:45 PM
It's sooooo frustrating that there's not a single gay guy I know who isn't an asshole. I'll never get with guy.  :-\
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on November 26, 2009, 08:13:35 PM
me and my friend are having a lesbian day on saturday, we're just going christmas shopping, but we're going to wear badges and then after go to a gay bar called "Out"

i am very excited :D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on November 26, 2009, 08:22:45 PM
me and my friend are having a lesbian day on saturday, we're just going christmas shopping, but we're going to wear badges and then after go to a gay bar called "Out"

i am very excited :D

happy lesbian day!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on November 26, 2009, 09:22:39 PM
i just realised that i want to make my badge say "hug a lesbian"
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The King of Carrot Flowers on November 26, 2009, 09:55:10 PM
It's sooooo frustrating that there's not a single gay guy I know who isn't an asshole. I'll never get with guy.  :-\
I used to think that. But now I have hope! The answer? Fellow bisexuals. Mmmm...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Wednesday Friday on November 27, 2009, 02:05:38 AM
me and my friend are having a lesbian day on saturday, we're just going christmas shopping, but we're going to wear badges and then after go to a gay bar called "Out"

i am very excited :D

ooh excitement! good luck haha  :D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on November 27, 2009, 11:57:22 AM
It's sooooo frustrating that there's not a single gay guy I know who isn't an asshole. I'll never get with guy.  :-\
I used to think that. But now I have hope! The answer? Fellow bisexuals. Mmmm...

Most of them ARE bisexual, or rather lacking the confidence to come out as gay.
RARG. This will NEVER happen.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: buttercup. on November 27, 2009, 12:23:53 PM
Blegh.
I feel like I should be Gay, but I'm not.
I mean, I don't think I'm even bi-sexual.
But I feel like I should be.
I have all the symptoms.
I just. Don't. Want. Vagina.
It's weird.
I get nervous around girls.
When I held Brianne's hand I knew it was more then just friendly hand holding.
I really do think Sylvia is hot.
But then, men with big manly beards come marching into my head.
 :'( I'm confused..
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on November 27, 2009, 12:28:00 PM
http://www.youtube.com/v/tRlaxtIox7g&hl=en&fs=1&

I think this guy voices an interesting perspective on the whole gay/straight label thing. I agree with him that although sexuality is definitely not a choice, people are complex and when you put a label on yourself, which is what society wants people to do/is comfortable with, it can sometimes foreclose other possibilities.

I love how he's topless in all his videos.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: imaginary friend on November 27, 2009, 12:52:50 PM
Blegh.
I feel like I should be Gay, but I'm not.
I mean, I don't think I'm even bi-sexual.
But I feel like I should be.
I have all the symptoms.
I just. Don't. Want. Vagina.
It's weird.
I get nervous around girls.
When I held Brianne's hand I knew it was more then just friendly hand holding.
I really do think Sylvia is hot.
But then, men with big manly beards come marching into my head.
 :'( I'm confused..

let me clarify your position for you: you have twice as many options.

you're welcome.  O0

#@!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on November 27, 2009, 09:10:26 PM
me and my friend are having a lesbian day on saturday, we're just going christmas shopping, but we're going to wear badges and then after go to a gay bar called "Out"

i am very excited :D

ooh excitement! good luck haha  :D

haha we were talking about it today, and we watched the L word for ages and i am so excited! :D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on November 28, 2009, 09:47:20 AM
me and my friend are having a lesbian day on saturday, we're just going christmas shopping, but we're going to wear badges and then after go to a gay bar called "Out"

i am very excited :D

ooh excitement! good luck haha  :D

haha we were talking about it today, and we watched the L word for ages and i am so excited! :D

I'm so jealous
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on November 28, 2009, 12:16:49 PM
me and my friend are having a lesbian day on saturday, we're just going christmas shopping, but we're going to wear badges and then after go to a gay bar called "Out"

i am very excited :D

ooh excitement! good luck haha  :D

haha we were talking about it today, and we watched the L word for ages and i am so excited! :D

I'm so jealous

Stage one complete. We went shopping dressed as "dykes".
We're going to get drunk, meet lots of LGB people and go out :)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on November 28, 2009, 07:08:25 PM
me and my friend are having a lesbian day on saturday, we're just going christmas shopping, but we're going to wear badges and then after go to a gay bar called "Out"

i am very excited :D

ooh excitement! good luck haha  :D

haha we were talking about it today, and we watched the L word for ages and i am so excited! :D

I'm so jealous

Stage one complete. We went shopping dressed as "dykes".
We're going to get drunk, meet lots of LGB people and go out :)

Good luck and get laid. I'll be thinking of you.
Eeew, not like that.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on November 29, 2009, 05:17:47 PM
I think The Butchies summed up the reaction of a lot of parents in the lyrics to their song 'Insult to Injury'

They say you're young
Too young to know
How much you feel
Thank hormones
But anyone can tell
Add insult to injury
You hear the thunder baby
Will you run to me


I love it, and it really does reflect my Mom's reaction anyhow.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on November 29, 2009, 05:33:24 PM
i was talking to people last night about when they came out to their parents, and all of them said that their parents initial reaction was "it's a phase".
One of the girls has been out for 7 years and it's still a phase.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on November 29, 2009, 05:36:25 PM
i was talking to people last night about when they came out to their parents, and all of them said that their parents initial reaction was "it's a phase".
One of the girls has been out for 7 years and it's still a phase.
lol

a phase, right.
i am not looking forward to coming out to my parents as they'd play the ''it's a phase'' card too, and they would think i have been influenced by other people. wtf. gaah.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on November 29, 2009, 07:02:09 PM
i was talking to people last night about when they came out to their parents, and all of them said that their parents initial reaction was "it's a phase".
One of the girls has been out for 7 years and it's still a phase.
lol

a phase, right.
i am not looking forward to coming out to my parents as they'd play the ''it's a phase'' card too, and they would think i have been influenced by other people. wtf. gaah.
To be fair, for some girls, it really is just a phase...

After 7 years though....  Someone's travellin' through Egypt, checkin' out De-Nile....
(...and seriously, if your daughter is in a phase of that sort, she's not gonna be telling you about it.)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on November 29, 2009, 07:28:48 PM
Blegh.
I feel like I should be Gay, but I'm not.
I mean, I don't think I'm even bi-sexual.
But I feel like I should be.
I have all the symptoms.
I just. Don't. Want. Vagina.
It's weird.
I get nervous around girls.
When I held Brianne's hand I knew it was more then just friendly hand holding.
I really do think Sylvia is hot.
But then, men with big manly beards come marching into my head.
 :'( I'm confused..
Solution:
(http://dkpresents.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/peaches-fatherfucker.jpg)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: buttercup. on November 29, 2009, 10:01:38 PM
HAHAHAHHA
Oh my god.
Bianca I love you.
THat made my life.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on November 30, 2009, 07:31:26 AM
HAHAHAHHA
Oh my god.
Bianca I love you.
THat made my life.
:D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: l i s a on December 01, 2009, 05:10:19 AM
eh
today a councelor lady came around and handed out surveys to the class
and we had to tick what we feel insecure about and want to learn more about
i ticked: being comfortable with your appearence, controlling your anger, exercise, ... and sexuallity
they were anonymous
but she dropped them
and a guy in my class helped her pick them up
and he just started laughing
"HAHAH!! SOMEONE TICKED SEXUALLITY!"

Fuck you.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: turtle club on December 01, 2009, 06:03:31 AM
eh
today a councelor lady came around and handed out surveys to the class
and we had to tick what we feel insecure about and want to learn more about
i ticked: being comfortable with your appearence, controlling your anger, exercise, ... and sexuallity
they were anonymous
but she dropped them
and a guy in my class helped her pick them up
and he just started laughing
"HAHAH!! SOMEONE TICKED SEXUALLITY!"

Fuck you.

don't be annoyed by that. he's just ignorant, and insecure. people laugh when they're very embarassed, even if they don't look embarassed.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on December 01, 2009, 12:09:04 PM
eh
today a councelor lady came around and handed out surveys to the class
and we had to tick what we feel insecure about and want to learn more about
i ticked: being comfortable with your appearence, controlling your anger, exercise, ... and sexuallity
they were anonymous
but she dropped them
and a guy in my class helped her pick them up
and he just started laughing
"HAHAH!! SOMEONE TICKED SEXUALLITY!"

Fuck you.
don't be annoyed by that. he's just ignorant, and insecure. people laugh when they're very embarassed, even if they don't look embarassed.
qft....

He's clearly [says the amateur shrink] so insecure about it he feels the need to
make light of someone else's insecurity out loud.

Methinks the jackass doth protest too much...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: imaginary friend on December 01, 2009, 12:33:50 PM
yeah, that guy will be backing up to a glory hole within 5 years, guaranteed.

#@!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: bambiraptor on December 01, 2009, 01:27:45 PM
i dunno if i've posted this here or not.
but yeah.
i would classify myself as gay, but i done the whole sex thing a few times and it did nothing for me.
i like giving a blowjob, i guess, but that's all.
however, i can't be asexual because boys is hot.
sex is not.
i am confused.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Morpheus Laughing on December 01, 2009, 01:59:44 PM
i dunno if i've posted this here or not.
but yeah.
i would classify myself as gay, but i done the whole sex thing a few times and it did nothing for me.
i like giving a blowjob, i guess, but that's all.
however, i can't be asexual because boys is hot.
sex is not.
i am confused.

Sexual/asexual is just another continuum like the hetero/bi/homo continuum so there isn't really a need to pick one or the other. If you suddenly lost interest in sex there might be a problem and it would be worth asking a doctor about. If, however you were never really that bothered about sex and it isn't distressing you in anyway, there shouldn't be too much to worry about. Certain things do lower sex-drive though (depression and it's medications spring to mind) so if you changed something in your life that might have some impact.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: bambiraptor on December 01, 2009, 02:08:07 PM
i dunno if i've posted this here or not.
but yeah.
i would classify myself as gay, but i done the whole sex thing a few times and it did nothing for me.
i like giving a blowjob, i guess, but that's all.
however, i can't be asexual because boys is hot.
sex is not.
i am confused.

Sexual/asexual is just another continuum like the hetero/bi/homo continuum so there isn't really a need to pick one or the other. If you suddenly lost interest in sex there might be a problem and it would be worth asking a doctor about. If, however you were never really that bothered about sex and it isn't distressing you in anyway, there shouldn't be too much to worry about. Certain things do lower sex-drive though (depression and it's medications spring to mind) so if you changed something in your life that might have some impact.

Aah, that makes sense, I've been having some problems with the old depression for most of this year...
But yeah, I've never seen the amazingness of it. I only tried it because, like, I never used to see the attraction of broccoli until I tried it and it was beautiful. Sadly, sex wasn't the same.

I make jokes about things to avoid confronting them
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on December 01, 2009, 06:51:51 PM
i dunno if i've posted this here or not.
but yeah.
i would classify myself as gay, but i done the whole sex thing a few times and it did nothing for me.
i like giving a blowjob, i guess, but that's all.
however, i can't be asexual because boys is hot.
sex is not.
i am confused.

Only 25 percent of all gay men enjoy partaking in teh anal sex. In other words, if you enjoy giving blow-jobs you're probably gay, just with submissive tendencies or something.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The King of Carrot Flowers on December 02, 2009, 12:45:21 AM
My crush (sadly, my unrequited crush) essentially came out to his friends and his parents in the space of one summer. It took me over a year after coming out to my friends to tell my mom, and I still haven't told my dad.

Well done, cutie, well done.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on December 02, 2009, 12:04:24 PM
i dunno if i've posted this here or not.
but yeah.
i would classify myself as gay, but i done the whole sex thing a few times and it did nothing for me.
i like giving a blowjob, i guess, but that's all.
however, i can't be asexual because boys is hot.
sex is not.
i am confused.

I know straight people who are like that with vagina sex. They think they're dirty. What I'm saying is it's totally subjective what you like to do/not do
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: bambiraptor on December 02, 2009, 12:33:08 PM
aah, i did not know that.
thanks for your help, guys :)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on December 03, 2009, 08:08:38 PM
http://www.givesmehope.com/view/Inspiring%20feats/24695 (http://www.givesmehope.com/view/Inspiring%20feats/24695)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on December 05, 2009, 06:43:30 PM
Wow. Well, today I learned that I have about 0 confidence around girls that I don't know. Which is strange for me, because generally I think I'm a pretty confident person...apparently not.

We were just shopping and my face would turn red if I even made eye contact. I felt so awkward. I wasn't even trying to flirt or anything, just a look got me! Ahhhhh.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: guuurrrrrllltakeiteasy on December 05, 2009, 10:17:43 PM
Maybe men are just dirty in general, but I kind of don't like having sex with men. I have this thought in my head that women are better and taste better. Yeah... like mangos and figs.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on December 05, 2009, 10:30:14 PM
Maybe men are just dirty in general, but I kind of don't like having sex with men. I have this thought in my head that women are better and taste better. Yeah... like mangos and figs.

Mangos and figs? do explain.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on December 06, 2009, 07:20:56 PM
Wow. Well, today I learned that I have about 0 confidence around girls that I don't know. Which is strange for me, because generally I think I'm a pretty confident person...apparently not.

We were just shopping and my face would turn red if I even made eye contact. I felt so awkward. I wasn't even trying to flirt or anything, just a look got me! Ahhhhh.

Girls who i find attractive make me nervous. And im not the nervous type. Its crazy! But i like it..thats how i can tell if i really like someone or not :)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: buttercup. on December 07, 2009, 10:07:18 AM
My cousin is amazing, he's apart of this http://nationalmarch.seattleoutprotest.org/
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: guuurrrrrllltakeiteasy on December 07, 2009, 11:12:50 PM
Maybe men are just dirty in general, but I kind of don't like having sex with men. I have this thought in my head that women are better and taste better. Yeah... like mangos and figs.

Mangos and figs? do explain.

Maybe not manogs and figs, those two are my favourite fruit. I've been with a lot of girls and have only experienced a small handful of 'em that didn't smell too nice, then again, those were those really butchy tomboys that were into sports and didn't really care about hygeine, much like their male counterparts. I'm not hating against tomboys, they're cool chicks and are way better than girly girls. Wow, totally sidetracked there. I just have this idea that women are more fun to have intercourse with. Men smell like testosterone. Have you ever had a gym class? It smells like dirty and crotch sweat blended up and sprayed all over the room. However sweaty women smell less offensive.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on December 08, 2009, 06:22:02 AM
Maybe men are just dirty in general, but I kind of don't like having sex with men. I have this thought in my head that women are better and taste better. Yeah... like mangos and figs.

Mangos and figs? do explain.

Maybe not manogs and figs, those two are my favourite fruit. I've been with a lot of girls and have only experienced a small handful of 'em that didn't smell too nice, then again, those were those really butchy tomboys that were into sports and didn't really care about hygeine, much like their male counterparts. I'm not hating against tomboys, they're cool chicks and are way better than girly girls. Wow, totally sidetracked there. I just have this idea that women are more fun to have intercourse with. Men smell like testosterone. Have you ever had a gym class? It smells like dirty and crotch sweat blended up and sprayed all over the room. However sweaty women smell less offensive.

I actually really get what you mean.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on December 08, 2009, 06:30:40 AM
Maybe men are just dirty in general, but I kind of don't like having sex with men. I have this thought in my head that women are better and taste better. Yeah... like mangos and figs.

Mangos and figs? do explain.

Maybe not manogs and figs, those two are my favourite fruit. I've been with a lot of girls and have only experienced a small handful of 'em that didn't smell too nice, then again, those were those really butchy tomboys that were into sports and didn't really care about hygeine, much like their male counterparts. I'm not hating against tomboys, they're cool chicks and are way better than girly girls. Wow, totally sidetracked there. I just have this idea that women are more fun to have intercourse with. Men smell like testosterone. Have you ever had a gym class? It smells like dirty and crotch sweat blended up and sprayed all over the room. However sweaty women smell less offensive.

I actually really get what you mean.

Maybe try to find a nice feminine man? Although then if youre into men men it doesnt really solve anything..
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on December 08, 2009, 07:21:33 AM
Maybe men are just dirty in general, but I kind of don't like having sex with men. I have this thought in my head that women are better and taste better. Yeah... like mangos and figs.

Mangos and figs? do explain.

Maybe not manogs and figs, those two are my favourite fruit. I've been with a lot of girls and have only experienced a small handful of 'em that didn't smell too nice, then again, those were those really butchy tomboys that were into sports and didn't really care about hygeine, much like their male counterparts. I'm not hating against tomboys, they're cool chicks and are way better than girly girls. Wow, totally sidetracked there. I just have this idea that women are more fun to have intercourse with. Men smell like testosterone. Have you ever had a gym class? It smells like dirty and crotch sweat blended up and sprayed all over the room. However sweaty women smell less offensive.

I actually really get what you mean.

Maybe try to find a nice feminine man? Although then if youre into men men it doesnt really solve anything..

I smell like Thai food.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on December 08, 2009, 01:51:48 PM
Maybe men are just dirty in general, but I kind of don't like having sex with men. I have this thought in my head that women are better and taste better. Yeah... like mangos and figs.

Mangos and figs? do explain.

Maybe not manogs and figs, those two are my favourite fruit. I've been with a lot of girls and have only experienced a small handful of 'em that didn't smell too nice, then again, those were those really butchy tomboys that were into sports and didn't really care about hygeine, much like their male counterparts. I'm not hating against tomboys, they're cool chicks and are way better than girly girls. Wow, totally sidetracked there. I just have this idea that women are more fun to have intercourse with. Men smell like testosterone. Have you ever had a gym class? It smells like dirty and crotch sweat blended up and sprayed all over the room. However sweaty women smell less offensive.

I actually really get what you mean.

Maybe try to find a nice feminine man? Although then if youre into men men it doesnt really solve anything..

I smell like Thai food.

I love Thai food.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: l i s a on December 08, 2009, 07:33:18 PM
some cunt from my school just made this
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=219146554467&ref=mf
he deserves a kick in the head.
& the sad thing is, one of my friends clicked *attending*
 :violent1:

Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pope Totalfrog on December 08, 2009, 07:39:26 PM
some cunt from my school just made this
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=219146554467&ref=mf
he deserves a kick in the head.
& the sad thing is, one of my friends clicked *attending*
 :violent1:



Report it to Facebook. Little asshole deserves the banhammer for that one.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: l i s a on December 08, 2009, 07:41:49 PM
some cunt from my school just made this
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=219146554467&ref=mf
he deserves a kick in the head.
& the sad thing is, one of my friends clicked *attending*
 :violent1:



Report it to Facebook. Little asshole deserves the banhammer for that one.
My best friend and i both reported him.   O0
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on December 08, 2009, 07:48:34 PM
i reported it too lol
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: l i s a on December 08, 2009, 08:06:09 PM
yay :)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Wednesday Friday on December 08, 2009, 08:20:46 PM
I reported it too. The kid who started it and everyone who joined are idiots. And he has terrible grammar: "I'f Your Not Gay Then Join This Group". I'd be tempted to start a rival event "KILL ALL PEOPLE WHO CAN'T DISTINGUISH BETWEEN 'YOUR' and 'YOU'RE' MONTH".
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pope Totalfrog on December 08, 2009, 08:25:46 PM
I reported it too. The kid who started it and everyone who joined are idiots. And he has terrible grammar: "I'f Your Not Gay Then Join This Group". I'd be tempted to start a rival event "KILL ALL PEOPLE WHO CAN'T DISTINGUISH BETWEEN 'YOUR' and 'YOU'RE' MONTH".

Surely there is already such a group. If not then you must start one.
Edit - found one http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2210671912&ref=search&sid=697433920.3546757768..1  ;D
 
BTW I reported it too - now to sit back and see if they pay any attention...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on December 08, 2009, 08:31:55 PM
some cunt from my school just made this
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=219146554467&ref=mf
he deserves a kick in the head.
& the sad thing is, one of my friends clicked *attending*
 :violent1:



Do you have any journalists you can think of to report this to? Maybe even the police? Triple J's Hack program lives for this kind of thing.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: l i s a on December 08, 2009, 08:44:57 PM
good idea O0
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: guuurrrrrllltakeiteasy on December 08, 2009, 08:52:33 PM
I reported it, little bugger deserves some soap feeding.




Maybe men are just dirty in general, but I kind of don't like having sex with men. I have this thought in my head that women are better and taste better. Yeah... like mangos and figs.

Mangos and figs? do explain.

Maybe not manogs and figs, those two are my favourite fruit. I've been with a lot of girls and have only experienced a small handful of 'em that didn't smell too nice, then again, those were those really butchy tomboys that were into sports and didn't really care about hygeine, much like their male counterparts. I'm not hating against tomboys, they're cool chicks and are way better than girly girls. Wow, totally sidetracked there. I just have this idea that women are more fun to have intercourse with. Men smell like testosterone. Have you ever had a gym class? It smells like dirty and crotch sweat blended up and sprayed all over the room. However sweaty women smell less offensive.

I actually really get what you mean.

Maybe try to find a nice feminine man? Although then if youre into men men it doesnt really solve anything..

I'm just going to do it in the shower instead. That way we're both happy :]
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on December 08, 2009, 09:28:28 PM
reported, and forwarded to more folks who will report it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: l i s a on December 08, 2009, 09:30:30 PM
Lisa Jane Waters 09 December at 11:30
you're a fucking idiot. how dare you discriminate against gays you worthless animal.

 
Dylan 09 December at 13:25 Report
cool :) i think so to, i no i'm so discusting...
 
Dylan 09 December at 13:26 Report
i'f you dont like it mind your own buisness + also please join my group
 
Lisa Jane Waters 08 December at 18:29
you are a smartass
you're pathetic
i've got over 50 people to report your group and event
AND GUESS WHAT
A MAJORITY OF THEM ARE GAY or BI

if your mother turned around one day and said she was with a woman, would you kill her?
& as soon as it pops up on my news feed, its my business. when on e of my friends are *attending* and one of her friends are bisexual, its my business.


Dylan  09 December at 13:30 Report
Depends who the woman is

Lisa Jane Waters
why don't you like Gays?
whats your problem with them?
 
Dylan \09 December at 13:37 Report
It's just sick it's and against my religeon so ovcourse i have problems with it i dont meen to i have to
 
Lisa Jane Waters 09 December at 13:38
tell me how its sick?
whats wrong with a woman loving a woman and a man loving a man? they can't help it. its in your genes, its not a choice
whats your religion?
 
Dylan 09 December at 13:41 Report
truth is i dont have problems with it it was just funnie at the time
 
Lisa Jane Waters 08 December at 18:42
funny? genocide is funny?


Dylan 09 December at 13:43 Report
stop using big words
 

Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on December 08, 2009, 10:01:20 PM
I'm not gay; I just think the guy's an idiot, and his "group" is offensive.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on December 08, 2009, 10:18:03 PM
i think that last comment kind of says it all; 'stop using big words'. :uglystupid2:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: l i s a on December 08, 2009, 10:26:13 PM
I'm not gay; I just think the guy's an idiot, and his "group" is offensive.
me too

i think that last comment kind of says it all; 'stop using big words'. :uglystupid2:
it made me laugh with pity
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pope Totalfrog on December 09, 2009, 04:36:18 AM
I'm not gay; I just think the guy's an idiot, and his "group" is offensive.
me too

i think that last comment kind of says it all; 'stop using big words'. :uglystupid2:
it made me laugh with pity

I am so tempted to call your school principal tomorrow. I want to ask them why they are failing to teach their students not to be complete assholes. I would also ask why they can't use basic grammar and spelling.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: l i s a on December 09, 2009, 04:55:39 AM
I'm not gay; I just think the guy's an idiot, and his "group" is offensive.
me too

i think that last comment kind of says it all; 'stop using big words'. :uglystupid2:
it made me laugh with pity

I am so tempted to call your school principal tomorrow. I want to ask them why they are failing to teach their students not to be complete assholes. I would also ask why they can't use basic grammar and spelling.
be my guest :)
staughton college ;)
 :headbang:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on December 09, 2009, 08:21:56 AM
When my internet server at college blocked a website for 'lesbian, gay or bisexual interest' me and one of my friends sent a letter straight to the principle to get it sorted. Apparently it was some kind of 'flaw' in the system, we weren't impressed.

Ive also reported this event too, its vile. Hopefully facebook will sort it out soon! And i also think you should forward a copy to someone at school, because this person clearly needs talking to.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=193707988482 - this needs reporting too if you havent already guys. Good grief!!

''If we find out your Gay, you will Be Shot
Survivors will be shot again' - taken directly from the group.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: stallionbreaker on December 09, 2009, 08:53:08 AM
When my internet server at college blocked a website for 'lesbian, gay or bisexual interest' me and one of my friends sent a letter straight to the principle to get it sorted. Apparently it was some kind of 'flaw' in the system, we weren't impressed.
I had the same thing at work a couple years ago. The HRC site was blocked, but all these anti-gay propaganda sites were not. I reported it to human resources, and they looked into it. The "alternative lifestyle/sexuality" category of reasons for blocking a site disappeared shortly thereafter.

Reported and reported.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on December 09, 2009, 12:38:53 PM
I think i might volunteer for my local lgbt service..even if its just once a month helping them out.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on December 09, 2009, 12:56:19 PM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8278398.stm

Its from september, but its got some good points.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on December 09, 2009, 01:44:35 PM
 :-\

at dinner tonight, i was complaining about my brother's boyfriend (hahaha this is too funny, i'm going to leave it in. obviously, it's my brother's GIRLFRIEND, he's an homohobic ass) being constantly at our house.
so my mom goes ''we'll see when you have a boyfriend''
and i replied ''i'll never have a boyfriend''
to which very calmly both mom and dad said ''a girlfriend''
i was really surprised and most likely blused so i said something like ''i'll never have a girlfriend''
which doesn't make ANY sense. sigh. it just seemed too easy, they're usually not this type of persons... :-\
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: stallionbreaker on December 09, 2009, 02:20:20 PM
Awwwww, Sylvia! *hugs* I think it's a good sign.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on December 09, 2009, 02:24:39 PM
Awwwww, Sylvia! *hugs* I think it's a good sign.
hopefully  :embarassed: *hugs*
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on December 09, 2009, 02:41:12 PM
Awwwww, Sylvia! *hugs* I think it's a good sign.
hopefully  :embarassed: *hugs*

It is! :)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on December 09, 2009, 04:05:43 PM
Awwwww, Sylvia! *hugs* I think it's a good sign.
hopefully  :embarassed: *hugs*

It is! :)

I think so too! Parents seem to know these things. My mom wasn't all that surprised, but my friend and sister were.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Morpheus Laughing on December 09, 2009, 05:16:23 PM
Awwwww, Sylvia! *hugs* I think it's a good sign.
hopefully  :embarassed: *hugs*

It is! :)

I think so too! Parents seem to know these things. My mom wasn't all that surprised, but my friend and sister were.

I must admit that I sometimes wonder if my parents think that I might be gay. Elsewhere, over the years, I’ve occasionally overheard people from work/college speculating about my sexuality. The general verdict, if I hear it, is often left open.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: bambiraptor on December 09, 2009, 05:22:29 PM
I think my parents've forgotten.
Mother's started pointing out girls again.
Idk if she expects me to comment on their clothes or their tits.
Confusion.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on December 09, 2009, 05:49:47 PM
Trying to watch project runway with everyone else in the room is awkward
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Merk on December 09, 2009, 06:07:29 PM
Trying to watch project runway with everyone else in the room is awkward
i hate that feeling
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Matty on December 09, 2009, 07:44:36 PM
I havn't been on the box in a while, so I'm not sure I ever posted here, pretty sure I didn't so... *steals someone elses template...

So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I'm Bisexual. I used to toy with the idea that I was gay, and there was some confusion when I was younger, because I was incredibly attracted to boys, but everytime I would say that I'm gay to myself I'd then go, Well, No, I still like girls. And anyway, I'm just not the kind of person to turn someone down because of phisical attributes. And while I'm at it I may as well mention that I feel that I feel I am partly female on some level, I wouldn't say I'm trasgendered because I love being male (another dilemma I had to figure out when I was about 14-15 at one point I was all for the idea of surgery) so I guess I'm just really into androgyny, in me and my sexual preferences. Anyway, I've been in a straight relationship for years. I love her, what can I say?  I don't like it when people say I'm straight because I've never been intimate with a boy. (my mom once actually asked how I knew I was bi if I'd never been never been with a guy..) I feel that regardless of my sexual exploits, that being bisexual is part of who I am.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
I don't really care, I use them. Sometimes people can be idiots though. One time this guy who had a girlfriend tried to convince me to cheat on my girlfriend with him, his reasoning was that being bisexual means that you have a girlfriend but you can fool around with guys. People need to understand that my broadened attraction doesn't mean I fuck more people. Being gay or bisexual is not about sleeping around.


When did you first know you were gay?
I'm not sure, its not something I really thought about when I was younger, I'd just assumed that being with a girl was what I was going to do since I was little. I know I strated getting into the idea, reading slash fanfiction, watching gay adult entertainment, reading fiction with gay characters and etc when I was 13, but there was deffinately something on a subconcious level since probably 10. Something to note, I started wearing my mom's makeup and trying to look like a girl in private at about 11, and went to school in full drag in the seventh grade (it was gender bender day for spirit week. That was my favorite day.)

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
I’m not in the closet, and most of my mother’s side knows, I’m not sure if anyone on my father’s side does. They know that I wear makeup and wear dresses from my myspace pictures. But it’s not something I bring up a lot. I don’t really see my dad being upset about it, seeing as he’s not exactly a football lovin’ beer chuggin’ man’s man himself. In fact he once told me what kind of makeup is good for going to the Rocky Horror Picture Show as Frank-N-Furter.
My brothers know, but I never bring it up around them just because they are pretty homophobic(btw, different dad). They havn’t been rude about it since before I came out (btw I never really came out, I just sort of put it on myspace, and everybody saw, there was never an uproar though, I guess nobody was shocked is all). They had called me faggot and all that shit since I was a little kid. They don’t truly hate gay people or anything, or at least I don’t think they do, it’s just about the way they were raised or some shit.
The only way I would really say I’m closeted is I don’t bring it up at work, I actually try to hide it a bit. I’m really afraid of being treated differently. Like I think a lot of the guys would just treat me differently, not that they are homophobic, but y’know.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
Like I said, I don’t think anyone was shocked, my mom was the only one who really ever brought it up., She isn’t homophobic, she’s just an idiot. She tried to be supported in her own ignorant, kind of offensive way. She basically told me that she wanted me to be closeted and not express my androgyny because she was afraid of me getting hurt by homophobes. She also told me I should create a second myspace page for my relatives.  I also seem to remember once when I was like 7, because my mom had gay friends, I asked her how she would feel if I decided I was gay. I think she told me she wouldn’t mind, but she would rather I didn’t.

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?  
I’d definitely say I’m not defined by it but I don’t reject it or whatever. My roommate is gay, and I think he’s trying a bit too hard to be gay. All he listens to is Lady Gaga and Britney Spears. One time he asked me and Kasey if we liked his outfit (btw he’s a huge prep) and we honestly told him that his popped collar looked retarded (Like if Bela Lugosi shopped at Hollister). At he replied that a lot of gay guys wear their collar’s popped. One time he told us that his now ex-boyfriend wanted to have a foursome with some other guys he knew and he said he would have done it even though he didn’t really want to, because he has this view that it’s expected that gay men are promiscuous. I also think he’s really self-conscious. Anyway, I really just try not to think about that shit, and let myself be me.
Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
This is a bit similar to my last answer, but I hate stereotypes, especially the ones involving promiscuity. There are people who actually believe that gay men are incapable of romantic relationship on an emotional level. Funny enough, these are the same people that are fighting gay marriage. Sometimes though I hate myself because I’d rather people stop being themselves that promote a stereotype, and some gay people are genuinely very flamboyant, and fit the stereotype. The issue of promiscuity is difficult for me, because although I’m not the type to sleep with anyone I’ve known for less than a month, and in my situation, anyone who isn’t my fiancé, I’ve no problem with people who like to sleep around, people who fuck guys that they don’t even know the names of. Hell, it’s natural. I don’t really know what I believe is right, I just don’t like when people think that gay men are all whores.
Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
I listen to music I like, I like a lot of music that has nothing to do with homosexuality, and I even reluctantly can’t help but think that a few homophobic artists, and even on another note, racist artists, can be really good. I can be quite attracted to songs with LGBT related lyrics and songs by LGBT artists for that reason. And I don’t feel ashamed to admit that I like music by gay icons like Cyndi Lauper or whatever. I tend to look for books and movies and etc about gay people. But It’s not all I like. I may be inclined to like a gay movie because I can relate to it, but many of my favorites have nothing to do with LGBT subjects
Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Well, yeah, I wouldn’t say it generally has anything to do with sexuality though.  I love Elton John, but that’s because he’s amazing. I love Ellen DeGeneres…because she’s amazing. I look up to anyone in the gay community if they have helped in the Gay Rights movement.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Not  really, not outside of assholes who yell faggot out their cars. I do sometimes get in debates about gay marriage on youtube with assholes and things.


Heh this is a pretty gigantic post…
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on December 09, 2009, 07:53:48 PM
i told my mum that i was going to an LGBT meeting last week sometime, and she was like "...are you trying to tell me something?" and i was like, no mum i'm not a lesbian (didn't add that i am in fact a bisexual). I don't think she would care that much at all, though. She's definitely the type of mum who is happy so long as we are.
But, after that, she was like "maybe you shouldn't hang around with that group so much, you might affect your chances of getting a boy", in a if i'm hanging out with lesbians, it'll be assumed i'm a lesbian, type thing i guess.

i should mention that this happened on skype, and that's the main reason i didn't tell her i am bi.

OH ALSO! i don't know if i mentioned this, but dyke day was a huge success!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on December 09, 2009, 10:50:26 PM
i told my mum that i was going to an LGBT meeting last week sometime, and she was like "...are you trying to tell me something?" and i was like, no mum i'm not a lesbian (didn't add that i am in fact a bisexual). I don't think she would care that much at all, though. She's definitely the type of mum who is happy so long as we are.
But, after that, she was like "maybe you shouldn't hang around with that group so much, you might affect your chances of getting a boy", in a if i'm hanging out with lesbians, it'll be assumed i'm a lesbian, type thing i guess.

i should mention that this happened on skype, and that's the main reason i didn't tell her i am bi.

OH ALSO! i don't know if i mentioned this, but dyke day was a huge success!

That's terrible advice. If anything hanging out with lesbians will INCREASE your chances of being the subject of male interest and you won't have anyone to compete with.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on December 09, 2009, 11:33:18 PM
i told my mum that i was going to an LGBT meeting last week sometime, and she was like "...are you trying to tell me something?" and i was like, no mum i'm not a lesbian (didn't add that i am in fact a bisexual). I don't think she would care that much at all, though. She's definitely the type of mum who is happy so long as we are.
But, after that, she was like "maybe you shouldn't hang around with that group so much, you might affect your chances of getting a boy", in a if i'm hanging out with lesbians, it'll be assumed i'm a lesbian, type thing i guess.

i should mention that this happened on skype, and that's the main reason i didn't tell her i am bi.

OH ALSO! i don't know if i mentioned this, but dyke day was a huge success!

That's terrible advice. If anything hanging out with lesbians will INCREASE your chances of being the subject of male interest and you won't have anyone to compete with.

i have to agree with this completely, although it will also increase your chances of being the subject of female interest, which, you being bi, means win all around.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on December 10, 2009, 07:27:17 AM
i told my mum that i was going to an LGBT meeting last week sometime, and she was like "...are you trying to tell me something?" and i was like, no mum i'm not a lesbian (didn't add that i am in fact a bisexual). I don't think she would care that much at all, though. She's definitely the type of mum who is happy so long as we are.
But, after that, she was like "maybe you shouldn't hang around with that group so much, you might affect your chances of getting a boy", in a if i'm hanging out with lesbians, it'll be assumed i'm a lesbian, type thing i guess.

i should mention that this happened on skype, and that's the main reason i didn't tell her i am bi.

OH ALSO! i don't know if i mentioned this, but dyke day was a huge success!

That's terrible advice. If anything hanging out with lesbians will INCREASE your chances of being the subject of male interest and you won't have anyone to compete with.
Yeah, she would have more of a chance, but they'd probably be sleazy guys, right? I mean, if they like that she hangs around with lesbians... There might be a few gems, but I'm just sayin'.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on December 10, 2009, 11:54:20 AM
I always forget how much I like the other gender when I'm on a high about the one I'm on a high about - if that makes sense... Like right now, I'm thinking, "Mmmhmm, I see the loveliness of girlfolk, but LOOKATMAMENFOLK!!" but I know that when I come off boys and go on girls again I'll be all Meh to the men and WHOOP for the girlielove. Any other flexisexies find this??
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on December 10, 2009, 12:59:55 PM
i told my mum that i was going to an LGBT meeting last week sometime, and she was like "...are you trying to tell me something?" and i was like, no mum i'm not a lesbian (didn't add that i am in fact a bisexual). I don't think she would care that much at all, though. She's definitely the type of mum who is happy so long as we are.
But, after that, she was like "maybe you shouldn't hang around with that group so much, you might affect your chances of getting a boy", in a if i'm hanging out with lesbians, it'll be assumed i'm a lesbian, type thing i guess.

i should mention that this happened on skype, and that's the main reason i didn't tell her i am bi.

OH ALSO! i don't know if i mentioned this, but dyke day was a huge success!

That's terrible advice. If anything hanging out with lesbians will INCREASE your chances of being the subject of male interest and you won't have anyone to compete with.
Yeah, she would have more of a chance, but they'd probably be sleazy guys, right? I mean, if they like that she hangs around with lesbians... There might be a few gems, but I'm just sayin'.
....or they might be guys who hang around with women because they like those
women as people, since they know going in that there's zero chance of getting
lucky in that crowd....
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: stallionbreaker on December 10, 2009, 02:28:37 PM
I always forget how much I like the other gender when I'm on a high about the one I'm on a high about - if that makes sense... Like right now, I'm thinking, "Mmmhmm, I see the loveliness of girlfolk, but LOOKATMAMENFOLK!!" but I know that when I come off boys and go on girls again I'll be all Meh to the men and WHOOP for the girlielove. Any other flexisexies find this??
Yes. Sometimes. But not to the degree you imply with your CAPSLOCK.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on December 10, 2009, 04:11:03 PM
CAPSLOCK IS KING.

But yeah, I think capslock sort of expresses how strongly I feel about it xD I mean it really does got from MEN MEN MANLY LOVELY MENTYPE MEN to LADY LADY LOVELY LADY LOVE with very little in between.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on December 10, 2009, 04:55:39 PM
i told my mum that i was going to an LGBT meeting last week sometime, and she was like "...are you trying to tell me something?" and i was like, no mum i'm not a lesbian (didn't add that i am in fact a bisexual). I don't think she would care that much at all, though. She's definitely the type of mum who is happy so long as we are.
But, after that, she was like "maybe you shouldn't hang around with that group so much, you might affect your chances of getting a boy", in a if i'm hanging out with lesbians, it'll be assumed i'm a lesbian, type thing i guess.

i should mention that this happened on skype, and that's the main reason i didn't tell her i am bi.

OH ALSO! i don't know if i mentioned this, but dyke day was a huge success!

That's terrible advice. If anything hanging out with lesbians will INCREASE your chances of being the subject of male interest and you won't have anyone to compete with.
Yeah, she would have more of a chance, but they'd probably be sleazy guys, right? I mean, if they like that she hangs around with lesbians... There might be a few gems, but I'm just sayin'.
....or they might be guys who hang around with women because they like those
women as people, since they know going in that there's zero chance of getting
lucky in that crowd....

oh, all of this is true in some way.
you have succeeded in confusing me.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on December 10, 2009, 05:49:43 PM
i told my mum that i was going to an LGBT meeting last week sometime, and she was like "...are you trying to tell me something?" and i was like, no mum i'm not a lesbian (didn't add that i am in fact a bisexual). I don't think she would care that much at all, though. She's definitely the type of mum who is happy so long as we are.
But, after that, she was like "maybe you shouldn't hang around with that group so much, you might affect your chances of getting a boy", in a if i'm hanging out with lesbians, it'll be assumed i'm a lesbian, type thing i guess.

i should mention that this happened on skype, and that's the main reason i didn't tell her i am bi.

OH ALSO! i don't know if i mentioned this, but dyke day was a huge success!

That's terrible advice. If anything hanging out with lesbians will INCREASE your chances of being the subject of male interest and you won't have anyone to compete with.
Yeah, she would have more of a chance, but they'd probably be sleazy guys, right? I mean, if they like that she hangs around with lesbians... There might be a few gems, but I'm just sayin'.
....or they might be guys who hang around with women because they like those
women as people, since they know going in that there's zero chance of getting
lucky in that crowd....
Naw, I agree. Just a disclaimer.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: FrailAndBedazzled on December 11, 2009, 01:03:06 PM
So, are you gay?
Yup. 
Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I do not know what this means.
Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
I do not care.
When did you first know you were gay?
It sounds like bullshit, but always.  I was always into guys.  I was never into girls. 
Are you in or out of the closet?
I never was in.  My grandmother says that her favorite sibling fight out of all of her grandchildren (and there are a lot of us) was me and my sister fighting over which of us would get to marry Prince Eric in The Little Mermaid.  I was five.  No one in my family CARES if I date dudes as long as I'm happy and healthy.
If it's the latter then how did you come out? Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
See above.
What does being gay mean to you?
It means I'm a guy who likes guys.
Do you 'wear' it? Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I hate them violently and do not associate with most other gay men because all of the homos around me tend to perpetuate stereotypes to a point where I just want to PUNCH them.
How much does it define your personality? 
My hatred of the stereotype is the closest thing to defining my personality it has.
Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
Most gay music is dance pop.  Which I hate.  I do not know of any good queercore bands but I would definitely be open to listening. 
Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Beth Ditto, less because she's a homo and more because she's just so fucking impressive in all areas of life.
Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Only from within the gay community, who believe that if I am not rail thin with washboard abs, I am morbidly obese.  While a fully realize that I am a little overweight, I am not obese, but if you listened to these Marys, you'd think I was.

I get very unpleasant on some of these subjects.  My apologies.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: 24hourchemist on December 11, 2009, 01:59:46 PM
These posters turned up in my school outside pupil services today, even though the sexuality has never been discussed in any social education classes.

http://www.stonewall.org.uk/education_for_all/news/current_news/2043.asp

The poster made me smile though, it's so true.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on December 11, 2009, 02:16:23 PM
These posters turned up in my school outside pupil services today, even though the sexuality has never been discussed in any social education classes.

http://www.stonewall.org.uk/education_for_all/news/current_news/2043.asp

The poster made me smile though, it's so true.
oooh it was the first thing we saw after we landed at london gatwick. my friend wanted to take a pic of me standing in front of it  ;D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: 24hourchemist on December 11, 2009, 02:40:53 PM
These posters turned up in my school outside pupil services today, even though the sexuality has never been discussed in any social education classes.

http://www.stonewall.org.uk/education_for_all/news/current_news/2043.asp

The poster made me smile though, it's so true.
oooh it was the first thing we saw after we landed at london gatwick. my friend wanted to take a pic of me standing in front of it  ;D

Haha, I kinda wanted to take a pic too.
Unfortunately right after I saw it and pointed it out to my friend Chris, we turned the corner and these two guys yelled "Chris, you're gay!"
I guess they didn't get the message :(
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on December 11, 2009, 02:51:18 PM
These posters turned up in my school outside pupil services today, even though the sexuality has never been discussed in any social education classes.

http://www.stonewall.org.uk/education_for_all/news/current_news/2043.asp

The poster made me smile though, it's so true.
oooh it was the first thing we saw after we landed at london gatwick. my friend wanted to take a pic of me standing in front of it  ;D

Haha, I kinda wanted to take a pic too.
Unfortunately right after I saw it and pointed it out to my friend Chris, we turned the corner and these two guys yelled "Chris, you're gay!"
I guess they didn't get the message :(

Im ordering a mug and tshirt at some point. Theyre amazing!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on December 12, 2009, 05:06:50 PM
I was talking to the crush today about a younger friend's "battle scar" from a "vacuum fight." I didn't have a problem with the fact that my younger friend had been making out with someone, I had a problem with the dude she did it with. The crush missed that part and went on to say, "Why would you want to do that anyways?? That's just gross. So gross." As in, neck kisses. I was just thinking that, yeah, to me neck kisses from a guy sound pretty unappealing...but with the right person...

I dunno. Maybe it's terrible of me to think so much into it, because everyone likes different stuff & all, but I did, and there ya go. Ha.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on December 12, 2009, 05:24:18 PM
I was talking to the crush today about a younger friend's "battle scar" from a "vacuum fight." I didn't have a problem with the fact that my younger friend had been making out with someone, I had a problem with the dude she did it with. The crush missed that part and went on to say, "Why would you want to do that anyways?? That's just gross. So gross." As in, neck kisses. I was just thinking that, yeah, to me neck kisses from a guy sound pretty unappealing...but with the right person...

I dunno. Maybe it's terrible of me to think so much into it, because everyone likes different stuff & all, but I did, and there ya go. Ha.

Neck kisses = all well and good

big purple brand-of-ownership marks = lame
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on December 12, 2009, 07:06:09 PM
I was talking to the crush today about a younger friend's "battle scar" from a "vacuum fight." I didn't have a problem with the fact that my younger friend had been making out with someone, I had a problem with the dude she did it with. The crush missed that part and went on to say, "Why would you want to do that anyways?? That's just gross. So gross." As in, neck kisses. I was just thinking that, yeah, to me neck kisses from a guy sound pretty unappealing...but with the right person...

I dunno. Maybe it's terrible of me to think so much into it, because everyone likes different stuff & all, but I did, and there ya go. Ha.

Neck kisses = all well and good

big purple brand-of-ownership marks = lame

not entirely lame if you can't see them walking around clothed.  through some weird turn of nature, all the hickies i have ever left on anyone are invariably mushroom shaped, and i am not sure how it is happening...so if i left them out in the open it would be like a visible calling card rather than a private love note, which would indeed be lame.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: FrailAndBedazzled on December 12, 2009, 07:08:03 PM
...My neck is covered in livid, bright red bite marks... I do not mind this.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: imaginary friend on December 13, 2009, 01:01:01 AM
the citizens of Houston, Texas have elected an openly gay mayor: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34399468/ns/politics-more_politics

 :usa2: :female: :usa2:

#@!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on December 13, 2009, 10:23:32 AM
the citizens of Houston, Texas have elected an openly gay mayor: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34399468/ns/politics-more_politics

 :usa2: :female: :usa2:

#@!

Good for her! and the residents of Houston.

But, gee, that stuff about her opposition and religious groups sending out mailers condemning her is just more proof how petty politicians can be and how foolish religious groups are.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Wednesday Friday on December 13, 2009, 08:52:23 PM
This is brilliant: http://friendlyatheist.com/2009/10/16/cherrypicking-illustrated/
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on December 13, 2009, 09:30:09 PM
This is brilliant: http://friendlyatheist.com/2009/10/16/cherrypicking-illustrated/
:love5:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Ryan James on December 14, 2009, 01:12:33 AM
the citizens of Houston, Texas have elected an openly gay mayor: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34399468/ns/politics-more_politics

 :usa2: :female: :usa2:

#@!

Good for her! and the residents of Houston.

But, gee, that stuff about her opposition and religious groups sending out mailers condemning her is just more proof how petty politicians can be and how foolish religious groups are.
O0"like"
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on December 14, 2009, 03:34:05 AM
the citizens of Houston, Texas have elected an openly gay mayor: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34399468/ns/politics-more_politics

 :usa2: :female: :usa2:

#@!

Good for her! and the residents of Houston.

But, gee, that stuff about her opposition and religious groups sending out mailers condemning her is just more proof how petty politicians can be and how foolish religious groups are.

Oh my God, that's such a stupid political tactic. She really deserved to win with an opposition as incompetent as that.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MerelyMarquis on December 14, 2009, 12:59:13 PM
the citizens of Houston, Texas have elected an openly gay mayor: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34399468/ns/politics-more_politics

 :usa2: :female: :usa2:

#@!

Good for her! and the residents of Houston.

But, gee, that stuff about her opposition and religious groups sending out mailers condemning her is just more proof how petty politicians can be and how foolish religious groups are.

Oh my God, that's such a stupid political tactic. She really deserved to win with an opposition as incompetent as that.

They probably realised their own incompetence in comparison to her and though, "not like they won't expect from us"
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on December 14, 2009, 11:52:02 PM
Taylor Swift's a lesbian right?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: stallionbreaker on December 15, 2009, 09:03:00 AM
Taylor Swift's a lesbian right?
Just because your mom slept with her doesn't make her a lesbian.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on December 15, 2009, 04:11:53 PM
Taylor Swift's a lesbian right?
Just because your mom slept with her doesn't make her a lesbian.
;D

i want that on a tee shirt.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on December 15, 2009, 05:22:45 PM
Taylor Swift's a lesbian right?
Just because your mom slept with her doesn't make her a lesbian.
;D

i want that on a tee shirt.
i want your mom on a teeshirt 8)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on December 15, 2009, 06:43:21 PM
Taylor Swift's a lesbian right?
Just because your mom slept with her doesn't make her a lesbian.
;D

i want that on a tee shirt.
i want your mom on a teeshirt 8)

Doesn't she sing a song about liking a girl who wears short skirts or something?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on December 15, 2009, 07:45:39 PM
Washington, D.C. passed marriage equality. The local Catholic Archdiocese is threatening to pull social service funding for homeless and needy because of it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: overratedtoejam on December 15, 2009, 08:58:45 PM
the citizens of Houston, Texas have elected an openly gay mayor: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34399468/ns/politics-more_politics

 :usa2: :female: :usa2:

#@!

houston pride! (actually, i really hate living in this city..but..i won't be here for much longer.)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on December 15, 2009, 10:43:45 PM
Taylor Swift's a lesbian right?
Just because your mom slept with her doesn't make her a lesbian.
;D

i want that on a tee shirt.
i want your mom on a teeshirt 8)
it would be a messy tee shirt.  my mom is made out of ashes. >:D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on December 16, 2009, 12:25:12 AM
Washington, D.C. passed marriage equality. The local Catholic Archdiocese is threatening to pull social service funding for homeless and needy because of it.
Sort of, but you're skipping a step...

The Church currently provides certain charitable services, with much of the material cost paid for with City money.
They're threatening  to cut off those services,  because they can't afford to provide them without municipal funds,
and under the new code they can't discriminate against homosexuals while taking the city's money.

I suspect they'll find someone to step in and fill the gap if the RCC chooses to take the low road.

(Things like some of the food and supplies at homeless shelters, for example.)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on December 16, 2009, 07:26:58 AM
Washington, D.C. passed marriage equality. The local Catholic Archdiocese is threatening to pull social service funding for homeless and needy because of it.
Sort of, but you're skipping a step...

The Church currently provides certain charitable services, with much of the material cost paid for with City money.
They're threatening  to cut off those services,  because they can't afford to provide them without municipal funds,
and under the new code they can't discriminate against homosexuals while taking the city's money.

I suspect they'll find someone to step in and fill the gap if the RCC chooses to take the low road.

(Things like some of the food and supplies at homeless shelters, for example.)
Ah, I see. The article that I read saw it sound like the city received money from the church's treasury instead of the other way around. I probably read it wrong.  :uglystupid2:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on December 16, 2009, 02:04:07 PM
Washington, D.C. passed marriage equality. The local Catholic Archdiocese is threatening to pull social service funding for homeless and needy because of it.
Sort of, but you're skipping a step...

The Church currently provides certain charitable services, with much of the material cost paid for with City money.
They're threatening  to cut off those services,  because they can't afford to provide them without municipal funds,
and under the new code they can't discriminate against homosexuals while taking the city's money.

I suspect they'll find someone to step in and fill the gap if the RCC chooses to take the low road.

(Things like some of the food and supplies at homeless shelters, for example.)
Ah, I see. The article that I read saw it sound like the city received money from the church's treasury instead of the other way around. I probably read it wrong.  :uglystupid2:
It's that whole "separation of church and state" thing...  If there's a law that bans discrimination
based on [whatever], then groups that explicitly use that criterion to exclude people from their
services are ineligible for government money.  What I find particularly absurd about this is that
Catholic Charities routinely provide aid for people of other religions, atheists, unwed mothers,
convicted criminals of all sorts....
....but homosexuality, that's just not acceptable.   :angry7:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on December 22, 2009, 09:45:12 PM
i totally got hit on by a girl tonight! ;)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on December 22, 2009, 09:58:09 PM
i totally got hit on by a girl tonight! ;)
O0
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Wednesday Friday on December 23, 2009, 08:17:55 AM
i totally got hit on by a girl tonight! ;)

did you hit back?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on December 23, 2009, 08:20:56 AM
i totally got hit on by a girl tonight! ;)

did you hit back?

a little haha. she was a little drunk and i'm always wary of drunk people hitting on me lol.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Wednesday Friday on December 23, 2009, 09:39:44 AM
^ ahh you are probably wise!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on December 26, 2009, 02:06:32 AM
I still don't know whether Taylor Swifts a lesbian or not.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: FrailAndBedazzled on December 26, 2009, 02:27:05 AM
According to my sister: "the song's about her wanting the guy the cheer captain is with, not wanting the cheer captain."
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Joshie on December 26, 2009, 03:08:42 AM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
Decidedly and unapologetically gay.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
They're a fact for now, so it's a moot point, but I do think they're oppressive.

When did you first know you were gay?
I remember feeling different for as long as I have had memories. I knew I was attracted to guys at a very basic level when I was in my early teens... maybe even 11 or 12 actually.

Are you in or out of the closet?
Out to all. Thankfully and finally.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
It was overwhelmingly positive. I had people who were pissed that I hadn't told them first. My grandmother was obviously shaken, but her exact words were "I haven't been living under a rock for the past 19 years."

I became more of an extrovert, which took a lot of adjustment. I lost many of my friends because for once I felt comfortable enough to go out and explore things that might have seemed (for lack of a better word) queer. I went to art school, dressed however I wanted, dropped 60 pounds, and tried to figure out who I was after suppressing it for my entire adolescence .

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?
It would be politically correct to say that I "don't see it as a large part of myself," but it would be dishonest. When you spend so many of your formative years hearing people talk about something "being gay (i.e. stupid or lame)," being called names and denying so much of who you are, it does become a huge part of your identity. I like certain stereotypically gay things and I own up to that. I also detest some aspects of "gay culture" and I own up to that as well. I wouldn't say that it defines my personality or that I wear it always, but I definitely don't hide it. Especially now, with all of the strides that the gay community is trying to make, it's important to me that I own up and make my voice heard so that the rest of the world knows that we exist in all parts of society. I'm a first grade teacher, I'm gay, and I should be able to put a picture of my husband on my desk without butterflies in my stomach.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
Fall into some, break others unintentionally.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
Not regularly. I read my blogs and try to keep up with various movements.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
http://joemygod.blogspot.com/ for keeping me informed and entertained.
Congressman Barney Frank for being someone who I trust to stand up for me.
Dan Savage for being brutally honest and human.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
I was called gay, faggot, homo, etc. throughout my public school experience. I've had ice and insults thrown at me while walking out of The GLBT center in Orlando. Also once while I was just walking down the road with a boyfriend (not even touching). Oh, and of course the very same GLBT center was the one that got vandalized last month. Spray painted with swastikas and misspelled epithets. OH! and there were the swastikas in the high school bathrooms (my family is Jewish).

That's about it. I'm happy that I'm gay. I wouldn't want it any other way and I wouldn't take a magic straight pill. I wouldn't be myself if I was straight. I've been with my husband now for almost 6 years. So far Jake Shears AND Amanda Palmer have told us we're adorable and we're happier than many straight couples I know, so yeah... queer as a 2 dollar bill and loving it. Don't you all?:)


Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on December 26, 2009, 03:39:41 AM
According to my sister: "the song's about her wanting the guy the cheer captain is with, not wanting the cheer captain."

I think I like it a lot less that way around.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Edric. on December 26, 2009, 06:38:31 AM
So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
Decidedly and unapologetically gay.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
They're a fact for now, so it's a moot point, but I do think they're oppressive.

When did you first know you were gay?
I remember feeling different for as long as I have had memories. I knew I was attracted to guys at a very basic level when I was in my early teens... maybe even 11 or 12 actually.

Are you in or out of the closet?
Out to all. Thankfully and finally.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
It was overwhelmingly positive. I had people who were pissed that I hadn't told them first. My grandmother was obviously shaken, but her exact words were "I haven't been living under a rock for the past 19 years."

I became more of an extrovert, which took a lot of adjustment. I lost many of my friends because for once I felt comfortable enough to go out and explore things that might have seemed (for lack of a better word) queer. I went to art school, dressed however I wanted, dropped 60 pounds, and tried to figure out who I was after suppressing it for my entire adolescence .

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?
It would be politically correct to say that I "don't see it as a large part of myself," but it would be dishonest. When you spend so many of your formative years hearing people talk about something "being gay (i.e. stupid or lame)," being called names and denying so much of who you are, it does become a huge part of your identity. I like certain stereotypically gay things and I own up to that. I also detest some aspects of "gay culture" and I own up to that as well. I wouldn't say that it defines my personality or that I wear it always, but I definitely don't hide it. Especially now, with all of the strides that the gay community is trying to make, it's important to me that I own up and make my voice heard so that the rest of the world knows that we exist in all parts of society. I'm a first grade teacher, I'm gay, and I should be able to put a picture of my husband on my desk without butterflies in my stomach.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
Fall into some, break others unintentionally.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
Not regularly. I read my blogs and try to keep up with various movements.

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
http://joemygod.blogspot.com/ for keeping me informed and entertained.
Congressman Barney Frank for being someone who I trust to stand up for me.
Dan Savage for being brutally honest and human.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
I was called gay, faggot, homo, etc. throughout my public school experience. I've had ice and insults thrown at me while walking out of The GLBT center in Orlando. Also once while I was just walking down the road with a boyfriend (not even touching). Oh, and of course the very same GLBT center was the one that got vandalized last month. Spray painted with swastikas and misspelled epithets. OH! and there were the swastikas in the high school bathrooms (my family is Jewish).

That's about it. I'm happy that I'm gay. I wouldn't want it any other way and I wouldn't take a magic straight pill. I wouldn't be myself if I was straight. I've been with my husband now for almost 6 years. So far Jake Shears AND Amanda Palmer have told us we're adorable and we're happier than many straight couples I know, so yeah... queer as a 2 dollar bill and loving it. Don't you all?:)



i'm glad you joined the shadowbox josh. glad i met you at the afp social show! ps, let me know when your art show is @the center  ;)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: FrailAndBedazzled on December 26, 2009, 01:25:39 PM
According to my sister: "the song's about her wanting the guy the cheer captain is with, not wanting the cheer captain."

I think I like it a lot less that way around.
I'm not so sure I like it either way.  Her voice bugs me.  Though I guess I'd be more forgiving if a vaguely sincere gay love song were getting massive airplay.
On that note, I've started hearing tracks from Gossip's "Music for Men" in my sister's Aeropostale.  I'm not sure how I feel about this.  On the one hand, I'm glad a band that is A: queer and B: doesn't use the queer thing as a marketing strategy is getting airtime with the general public and not fringe fans.  On the other hand, I'm a little disappointed that "Music for Men" is different enough from the band's earlier work that the people listening to it now will probably not enjoy the older, punk/blues style, or the amount of hollering Beth does at a live show.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on December 26, 2009, 03:24:50 PM
According to my sister: "the song's about her wanting the guy the cheer captain is with, not wanting the cheer captain."

I think I like it a lot less that way around.
I'm not so sure I like it either way.  Her voice bugs me.  Though I guess I'd be more forgiving if a vaguely sincere gay love song were getting massive airplay.
On that note, I've started hearing tracks from Gossip's "Music for Men" in my sister's Aeropostale.  I'm not sure how I feel about this.  On the one hand, I'm glad a band that is A: queer and B: doesn't use the queer thing as a marketing strategy is getting airtime with the general public and not fringe fans.  On the other hand, I'm a little disappointed that "Music for Men" is different enough from the band's earlier work that the people listening to it now will probably not enjoy the older, punk/blues style, or the amount of hollering Beth does at a live show.
Well...when I think of Beth Ditto, I think more of fashion than of gayness. So maybe that's how the place was turned to their music, I dunno. But I understand your frustration. I agree that it's great they were being played. They've grown on me  :happy11:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: FrailAndBedazzled on December 27, 2009, 12:54:00 AM
Really? I do not know if I missed something, but I do not quite understand the Beth-fashion link... She is a stylish lady, but I automatically think of the song "Swing Low" when I think Beth. As in, "Sweet baby, mama's baby, there's only one thing that can make you my lady/Swing low, down low, sweet chariot/If you know what I mean, I'll show you things you ain't never seen"
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Matty on December 28, 2009, 02:15:35 PM
I went to a gay bar a few days ago and got hit on by a hot drag queen, it was awesome. Awkwardly though, my girlfriend was right there.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on December 29, 2009, 02:41:05 AM
My gay friend Doug asked me over for tea, because his flatmates gone camping and apparently he's lonely.  :confused3:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on December 29, 2009, 02:52:01 AM
My friend Doug asked me over for tea, because his flatmates gone camping and apparently he's lonely.   :)
Fixed.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on December 29, 2009, 10:09:04 AM
My friend Doug asked me over for tea, because his flatmates gone camping and apparently he's lonely.   :)
Fixed.
Haha  O0
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on December 29, 2009, 10:17:35 AM
My friend Doug asked me over for tea, because his flatmates gone camping and apparently he's lonely.   :)
Fixed.
*snapsnapsnap*
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on December 29, 2009, 08:02:38 PM
"When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one." -Leonard Matlovich, a gay Vietnam Veteran (1943-1988)

Interesting thought that was in my 'Word of the Day' email yesterday.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on December 30, 2009, 03:54:36 AM
My friend Doug asked me over for tea, because his flatmates gone camping and apparently he's lonely.   :)
Fixed.
*snapsnapsnap*
Seriously though, is there a sexually subtext I should be aware of here? Because he's pretty fucking cute.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on January 02, 2010, 07:27:00 PM
this may or may not have been posted here before:

(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/banter.jpg)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on January 03, 2010, 08:27:19 AM
Hmm. At the second pub on New Years eve, the head of my town's LGBT committee said to me, "So, are you out yet?" Apparently she knew I fancied girls before I did. She did that tedious thing that I've only known lesbians to do where I say, "I'm bi" and they go, "Aah, you're just gay really", which pissed me off. It's always lesbians who do it though, gay men never tell me I'm "just straight". Very odd.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on January 03, 2010, 09:05:47 AM
Hmm. At the second pub on New Years eve, the head of my town's LGBT committee said to me, "So, are you out yet?" Apparently she knew I fancied girls before I did. She did that tedious thing that I've only known lesbians to do where I say, "I'm bi" and they go, "Aah, you're just gay really", which pissed me off. It's always lesbians who do it though, gay men never tell me I'm "just straight". Very odd.
That sounds quite annoying.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on January 03, 2010, 09:21:16 AM
Hmm. At the second pub on New Years eve, the head of my town's LGBT committee said to me, "So, are you out yet?" Apparently she knew I fancied girls before I did. She did that tedious thing that I've only known lesbians to do where I say, "I'm bi" and they go, "Aah, you're just gay really", which pissed me off. It's always lesbians who do it though, gay men never tell me I'm "just straight". Very odd.
That sounds quite annoying.

It fucking is. I mean, yes, sexuality is a changing, evolving thing, but it's like... I dunno, religion, I guess. Whatever it becomes, and regardless of the scope for change, doesn't make the present state any less valuable - whether I consider my sexuality fixed or not, or if I come to fancy significantly more men than women, or vice versa, in the future, it doesn't mean that right now I'm not bisexual. Wankers.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on January 03, 2010, 11:25:09 AM
Hmm. At the second pub on New Years eve, the head of my town's LGBT committee said to me, "So, are you out yet?" Apparently she knew I fancied girls before I did. She did that tedious thing that I've only known lesbians to do where I say, "I'm bi" and they go, "Aah, you're just gay really", which pissed me off. It's always lesbians who do it though, gay men never tell me I'm "just straight". Very odd.
That sounds quite annoying.

It fucking is. I mean, yes, sexuality is a changing, evolving thing, but it's like... I dunno, religion, I guess. Whatever it becomes, and regardless of the scope for change, doesn't make the present state any less valuable - whether I consider my sexuality fixed or not, or if I come to fancy significantly more men than women, or vice versa, in the future, it doesn't mean that right now I'm not bisexual. Wankers.
Indja, you are quite the intelligent person. IMHO, at least.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on January 03, 2010, 11:31:25 AM
Hmm. At the second pub on New Years eve, the head of my town's LGBT committee said to me, "So, are you out yet?" Apparently she knew I fancied girls before I did. She did that tedious thing that I've only known lesbians to do where I say, "I'm bi" and they go, "Aah, you're just gay really", which pissed me off. It's always lesbians who do it though, gay men never tell me I'm "just straight". Very odd.
That sounds quite annoying.

It fucking is. I mean, yes, sexuality is a changing, evolving thing, but it's like... I dunno, religion, I guess. Whatever it becomes, and regardless of the scope for change, doesn't make the present state any less valuable - whether I consider my sexuality fixed or not, or if I come to fancy significantly more men than women, or vice versa, in the future, it doesn't mean that right now I'm not bisexual. Wankers.
Indja, you are quite the intelligent person. IMHO, at least.

Thank you. We can has sexietymez now?? xD
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: FrailAndBedazzled on January 03, 2010, 04:30:26 PM
I have made a similar speech to my roommate on multiple occasions, those occasions being whenever I go out with a bi dude.  Why don't people get it?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: stallionbreaker on January 03, 2010, 07:07:03 PM
I have made a similar speech to my roommate on multiple occasions, those occasions being whenever I go out with a bi dude.  Why don't people get it?
They don't get it because people's minds have been conditioned to expect a dichotomous world where each thing is either this OR that. It leaves no room for "either one" or "both". Sometimes they get their head around "both", but in a very wrong way (Yer bi? Wanna have a threesome?). Irritating, yes. Unfortunately for all y'all, but fortunately for me, most of my friends are bi so I can't say I've suffered the "Oh you're just gay" conversation... yet.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on January 03, 2010, 07:13:05 PM
i think lesbians in general don't want to get it because it's a numbers thing (plus a control thing, ever so slightly).  of course you want to be able to claim any and every bi girl, especially if she is delicious, as a permanent lesbian, if only out of wishful thinking.  it's a bit of a competition thing too, i think.  then there are the lesbians who have been 'burned' by bi girls, by expecting something different from them, who are convinced there really is no halfway and that claiming bi is just a way to have the best of both worlds.

oh, but just let a confirmed lesbian get bored or experimental and sleep with a guy, and she will never hear the end of it from other les beans.  'how can you call yourself gay now?'  jeezus, it's like they betrayed every other gay girl in the world.  not that that's happened to me, but i have seen it happen to friends.  i can see how someone could step out of their sexuality, though, just for a night or whatever, and i can also see how sexuality could be fluid enough to encompass both sexes.  it doesn't for me, but only aesthetically, really.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Matty on January 03, 2010, 09:43:49 PM
People all get really confused that I'm a bi dude who has a girlfriend. Or that I'm a crossdresser with a girlfriend. It's annoying, people expect me to only like dudes based on how feminine I am, it's really a pain to explain to people.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on January 04, 2010, 03:01:25 PM
uncomfortable discussion with parents in the streets of paris.

i mentioned something about a gay guy, mutual friend i have with a lesbian girl.
so my mom goes ''do you only know gay people? you're obsessed''
and starts saying how homosexuals are not normal, how they think they're so much better than heterosexuals (???), how it is ultimately a fashion.
i am immensly disgusted and start answering to these allegations.
my dad joins in saying no, it's not a fashion, but it is a relational problems, because homosexuals are so because they have problems in relating themselves to the other sex.
after a while i just burst out crying and i was silence for a bit.
then mom asked why was i so concerned?
and dad told me if i had anything to say, to just say it and they would be politically correct from that day on.
WTF
i just kept saying i'ts my private life, none of your business, but i don't like you talking like this.


sigh
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: buttercup. on January 04, 2010, 03:05:12 PM
I really should have met them, as your token straight friend.


God I'm sorry Sylvia. Homophobic family members suck.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on January 04, 2010, 03:14:43 PM
I really should have met them, as your token straight friend.


God I'm sorry Sylvia. Homophobic family members suck.
QFFT...  and I don't even have any gay family members. (Well, not immediate family...)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on January 04, 2010, 03:44:12 PM
then mom asked why was i so concerned?
and dad told me if i had anything to say, to just say it and they would be politically correct from that day on.

it sounds a bit like they were trying to bait you into admitting it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on January 04, 2010, 05:12:56 PM
then mom asked why was i so concerned?
and dad told me if i had anything to say, to just say it and they would be politically correct from that day on.

it sounds a bit like they were trying to bait you into admitting it.
I thought the same... I'm sorry syl :/

I was driving a friend around earlier and mentioned someone's gay mom. He said, "Oh, my mom hates her because she's a lesbian..." I said, "Really...? Because she's hilarious!" He answered, "Yeah. She doesn't like Sam either. She won't even talk to him." ...Sam is a sophomore, and the only out kid at school. For a 50-something woman, I think it's pretty immature to not even speak to someone, on account of their sexuality.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: mariemeier_art on January 05, 2010, 06:41:41 AM
I'm not gay but i support LGBT community . First because if i love men, esp. mine, i had some girls in my life. I don't know if this give me the right to say i'm bisexual but that's true that i loved some girls. In the second hand my best friends are gay and i know the hard way that could be when your family is anti gay or for telling the truth about your sexuality. I think it's  really crap to judge people on sexuality. Our body and love is our own problem. It's not that which defined you as being. I really hate homophobia...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on January 05, 2010, 02:29:59 PM
^ The "right" to define yourself as bi? Sweetie, everyone has that right xD Someone who has onyl ever slept with one person who's of the opposite sex has the right to define as bi.

@Agonistes, please don't take this in a horrible way at ALL and I'm not trying to be a wanker, but in my experience lesbians can be a lot more.... I don't quite want to say aggressive, but something like that, about sexuality. Sort of possessive about it? I dunno. Like it's only ever been lesbians and retarded straight people who don't count who tell me I'm not bisexual, and a lot of what you said about gay women getting pissed at other gay friends who do something "straight" made a lot of sense to me. It's weird, I can't get my head around it - I've never experienced the same thing from bisexuals or gay men, it's weird. CRAZY DYKES!! xD

@Syl, a lot of what you say happens with your mum and dad does sound like they're baiting you, but they've got no fucking right - it's your life, fuck those cockshits. Just stay strong, and move to Manchester xxx
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Chloe on January 05, 2010, 02:48:09 PM

@Agonistes, please don't take this in a horrible way at ALL and I'm not trying to be a wanker, but in my experience lesbians can be a lot more.... I don't quite want to say aggressive, but something like that, about sexuality. Sort of possessive about it? I dunno. Like it's only ever been lesbians and retarded straight people who don't count who tell me I'm not bisexual, and a lot of what you said about gay women getting pissed at other gay friends who do something "straight" made a lot of sense to me. It's weird, I can't get my head around it - I've never experienced the same thing from bisexuals or gay men, it's weird. CRAZY DYKES!! xD


See even though im a massive lesbian im not like this..I understand where youre coming from, but the majority of lesbians I know (loads!) dont seem particularly bothered about people being bi, or sexuality generally. Ive been with a few bi women too - which didnt bother me, and one of my exes cheated on me with a guy after two years. It still didnt put me off or turn me into an aggressive gay!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on January 05, 2010, 04:19:01 PM


@Agonistes, please don't take this in a horrible way at ALL and I'm not trying to be a wanker, but in my experience lesbians can be a lot more.... I don't quite want to say aggressive, but something like that, about sexuality. Sort of possessive about it? I dunno. Like it's only ever been lesbians and retarded straight people who don't count who tell me I'm not bisexual, and a lot of what you said about gay women getting pissed at other gay friends who do something "straight" made a lot of sense to me. It's weird, I can't get my head around it - I've never experienced the same thing from bisexuals or gay men, it's weird. CRAZY DYKES!! xD


sugarbear, i am agreeing with you, lesbians CAN be gender nazis.  there was a long while there they were even trying to claim janis joplin, ffs, and she's like the First Bisexual Evar, or something.  i'm just speculating as to why some dykes are like that?  is it the control thing, or a horrible need to categorize everything in a favorable (to them) light, or is it just rage that you like boys?  or all of the above?  and would the same lesbians try to stop rosie o'donnell if she defected and claimed bi or straight?  because i wouldn't.

mysterious, butchly, and confusing are the ways of the lesbilluminati...but you know one of those girls is keeping amazingly immaculate and analytical notes on all of this.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on January 05, 2010, 06:13:40 PM
  and a lot of what you said about gay women getting pissed at other gay friends who do something "straight" made a lot of sense to me.


Reminds me of in the L word when the gang won't let Tina play basketball with them because she decided she liked penis again.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: stallionbreaker on January 05, 2010, 10:56:25 PM
mysterious, butchly, and confusing are the ways of the lesbilluminati...
;D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on January 06, 2010, 07:59:36 AM
mysterious, butchly, and confusing are the ways of the lesbilluminati...
;D

I'm still reeling from sugarbear myself xD
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on January 06, 2010, 11:59:15 AM
mysterious, butchly, and confusing are the ways of the lesbilluminati...
;D

I'm still reeling from sugarbear myself xD


words are fun.   :D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on January 07, 2010, 04:38:27 AM
I need advice. So there's this guy Doug. I met him through a friend of mine named Hannah. The first time he talked to me he asked me to have coffee with him. I told Hannah i though he was asking me out and later he said he just wanted to hang out with me as a friend. I've seen him at a few places over the last couple of months and spoken to him a few times. He recently brought up the time we met again. I told my friend Hannah that he was acting weird. She said she thought he was attracted to me. I asked her if she knew for certain and she told me that he had told her as much himself.
This guy is pretty good looking but I have no idea if I'm supposed to make the first move or how to do so. It's hard enough when there's a girl interested in me. Gay courtship is a complete fucking mystery.


Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on January 07, 2010, 06:09:55 AM
i'm not sure this is really realted to this topic... but come on, letterman, really? wtf.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on January 07, 2010, 06:42:31 AM
i'm not sure this is really realted to this topic... but come on, letterman, really? wtf.

What did Letterman do?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on January 07, 2010, 06:53:07 AM
i'm not sure this is really realted to this topic... but come on, letterman, really? wtf.

What did Letterman do?

i used to like letterman but lately he's just so full of hate...against everyone.
i don't think this is a huge deal per se, but there is already so much discrimination, i don't think it's nice to add to it...
http://www.youtube.com/v/OpBclLivdUQ&hl=it_IT&fs=1&
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Wednesday Friday on January 07, 2010, 07:35:27 AM
I need advice. So there's this guy Doug. I met him through a friend of mine named Hannah. The first time he talked to me he asked me to have coffee with him. I told Hannah i though he was asking me out and later he said he just wanted to hang out with me as a friend. I've seen him at a few places over the last couple of months and spoken to him a few times. He recently brought up the time we met again. I told my friend Hannah that he was acting weird. She said she thought he was attracted to me. I asked her if she knew for certain and she told me that he had told her as much himself.
This guy is pretty good looking but I have no idea if I'm supposed to make the first move or how to do so. It's hard enough when there's a girl interested in me. Gay courtship is a complete fucking mystery.




It sounds highly probably that he is interested in more than just being friends. There could be something holding him back from making the first move...like is he aware that you're interested in men (bi? sorry, I don't want to make assumptions/put labels on you). Or maybe he's just unsure of your feelings towards him and scared of rejection.

Going on what I know of the experience of my gay male friends, I'd say that in general "gay courtship" seems rather more simple and straightforward than "straight courtship" or whatever. I think for whatever reason gay guys tend to get to the point faster than other couples.

It sounds like you have the upper hand in this situation because you pretty much know for certain that he's attracted to you, whereas he might be unsure of where you stand and hence doesn't have the confidence to make the first move. If I was in your position I'd say go for it, invite him out for dinner or a drink or whatever and kiss him or something if you get the chance, and see what happens. Good luck.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on January 07, 2010, 12:39:30 PM
i'm not sure this is really realted to this topic... but come on, letterman, really? wtf.

What did Letterman do?

i used to like letterman but lately he's just so full of hate...against everyone.
i don't think this is a huge deal per se, but there is already so much discrimination, i don't think it's nice to add to it...
http://www.youtube.com/v/OpBclLivdUQ&hl=it_IT&fs=1&
Part of Dave's schtick is that he's a little hostile to everyone...

In this case, though, I think he was just using the appointment
to make a set-up gag at Alan Kalter's expense.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Ryan James on January 07, 2010, 11:30:57 PM
i'm not sure this is really realted to this topic... but come on, letterman, really? wtf.

What did Letterman do?

i used to like letterman but lately he's just so full of hate...against everyone.
i don't think this is a huge deal per se, but there is already so much discrimination, i don't think it's nice to add to it...
http://www.youtube.com/v/OpBclLivdUQ&hl=it_IT&fs=1&
Part of Dave's schtick is that he's a little hostile to everyone...

In this case, though, I think he was just using the appointment
to make a set-up gag at Alan Kalter's expense.

eh I think it was in good humor, I can be pretty sensitive about these things and I think that a joke like this is a lot less of a problem than say the gratuitous use of the word "fag" or "faggot" in a lot of big budget Hollywood comedy films, including massive hits like Superbad and The Hangover (which was one of the WORST films I've seen in years). Even more astounding is how casually the characters seem to use the words, how unshocked people seem to be by it, and the most impressively disgusting thing is that that abortion of a film was nominated for a Golden Globe, as if it deserved any sort of recognition from anyone with the exception of partially brain-dead frat boys (so much for 'liberal Hollywood'). In other words, I love Dave, this seemed in good humor, and we've got much bigger bones to pick.

Sorry, been thinking about that for a long time and had to get it off my chest.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Matty on January 08, 2010, 07:28:42 PM
I don't think there was anything wrong with the Letterman thing. I don't care about people making fun of gay or transgender people. I think when there is obvious hate behind the joke is when I have a problem with it. The same way that the character Big Gay Al or Mr. Slave from South Park could be viewed as offensive, that and the frequent use of slurs like homo, queer, fag, etc. But I think it's obvious that there is a definite support and tolerance for the LGBT community from the writers.
It's when people introduce ultra-flamboyant, sex-fiend gay characters with no sense of irony, from writers that reek of anti-gay sentiment, that I get pissed off.

Some people will not like this, but I say words like fag all the time. I'll either use it to describe someone I'm friend with who is gay as a friendly joke, or just completely lightly, not even in any way connecting it to gay people. I really don't care. I don't really think about the connotations.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Ryan James on January 08, 2010, 08:31:52 PM
I don't really think about the connotations.
I think that's exactly the problem, A LOT of people simply don't think about the connotations, but the bottom line is using words like that helps to set up a climate where homophobic attitudes are allowed to be ingrained into our culture. Using the word alone may not be hate, but it sets the stage for others to commit and ignore hateful sentiments, and hateful sentiment only leads to hateful action. Hate crimes do not happen over night, nobody wakes up one day and decides they feel hateful towards gay people. It is a feeling which is ingrained into people from birth by a culture like our own which allows hateful sentiment to be tossed about without thought of consequence. Words are important, and the lexicon of a culture says a lot about the attitude of that culture if you ask me.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: dancolbert56 on January 09, 2010, 06:12:39 AM
its all about the context of the joke. my straight friends pick on me all the time but i know they love me. you could take offense to the word fag or you could not LET it affect you. if you let those jokes offend you than you are MAKING them an issue.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on January 09, 2010, 02:07:38 PM
its all about the context of the joke. my straight friends pick on me all the time but i know they love me. you could take offense to the word fag or you could not LET it affect you. if you let those jokes offend you than you are MAKING them an issue.

yeah i think a lot of the time, the tone used kind of tells you how it's meant. if it's meant in fun, and you take offence, well you're making something of nothing. but, if it's said in a nasty way, then i think you have every right to tell them to fuck off.
however, this doesn't just apply to "fag" or whatever. i mean, i've had people try to offend me by mentioning my height, or my glasses or whatever. again, the context is everything. my family call me four eyes on a regular basis, and my friends make a lot of fun of how short i am, but i know they love me and it's not meant to be insulting or offensive.

tl;dr: the way someone says something should determine if you're offended by "fag" etc
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on January 09, 2010, 02:29:16 PM
tl;dr: the way someone says something should determine if you're offended by "fag" etc
I understand everyone's point on the matter, but I think if we call each other "fag," or what have you, it makes it okay for others to do the same.

I was thinking about this last night... I'm not exactly sure where I stand on the issue, but I think that's where I am.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on January 09, 2010, 02:33:37 PM
Two guys in Italy have been starving for a week, protesting against the lack of gay rights. they're only asking to the State to start discussing about gay marriage.
They went to Rome, in front of the Government, gave a speech etc, and NOBODY, nobody gave a shit.
It's so sad.
There has been ZERO media coverage about this. I only found out about it because I am fan of some gay activist on facebook.
I am increasingly disgusted about it all.....
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on January 09, 2010, 02:38:45 PM
Two guys in Italy have been starving for a week, protesting against the lack of gay rights. they're only asking to the State to start discussing about gay marriage.
They went to Rome, in front of the Government, gave a speech etc, and NOBODY, nobody gave a shit.
It's so sad.
There has been ZERO media coverage about this. I only found out about it because I am fan of some gay activist on facebook.
I am increasingly disgusted about it all.....
Yeah, I know what you mean. Over here there was a huge rally in Washington, D.C. in October, but some ridiculous news story was the focus, and there was NO coverage. At all. Thousands of people rally by the Lincoln Memorial, and--nothing.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on January 09, 2010, 02:54:04 PM
tl;dr: the way someone says something should determine if you're offended by "fag" etc
I understand everyone's point on the matter, but I think if we call each other "fag," or what have you, it makes it okay for others to do the same.

I was thinking about this last night... I'm not exactly sure where I stand on the issue, but I think that's where I am.

but, i would make the same point about context and tone of voice. it's completely obvious when someone is trying to insult you, i think. the same goes for when they're just joking. i know it's seen as an insulting word, but does it have to be? i find that if someone is trying to insult me, and i just laugh and say "oh god, I KNOW!" then they've completely lost, they don't know what to say, and they're unlikely to try it again.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on January 09, 2010, 05:14:03 PM
Go figure... (http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/americas/12/28/argentina.gay.marriage/)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on January 09, 2010, 06:22:21 PM
don't cry for me, argentina...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on January 09, 2010, 06:36:59 PM
that's so awesome, go argentina!

gay marriages are now legal in portugal too  :headbang:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Half Mar on January 09, 2010, 06:45:12 PM
I'm am so glad that gay marriage has never been an huge issue here, and that the gay community is so well accepted. Of course, there are always communities that have a problem with it. But there will always be narrow minded people everywhere. Unfortunately.

It's pretty ironic that I live in a country where things are pretty well accepted, and that I have friends and family who never make a big deal out of gayness. And yet, I am still afraid to come out :-\
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on January 10, 2010, 09:38:58 PM
that's so awesome, go argentina!

gay marriages are now legal in portugal too  :headbang:

The only two countries in western Europe without it now is Ireland and Italy now. lol suckish  :violent1: :violent1: :violent1:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on January 11, 2010, 07:15:05 AM
that's so awesome, go argentina!

gay marriages are now legal in portugal too  :headbang:

The only two countries in western Europe without it now is Ireland and Italy now. lol suckish  :violent1: :violent1: :violent1:
it's weird because Portugal is a really catholic country too (I believe abortion is still illegal there!), yet they have gay marriage.

the gay couple is at their 8th day with no food. sigh. no notice on the news or anything. i wish they would stop, it's really getting dangerous for their health.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on January 11, 2010, 07:18:31 AM
I'm am so glad that gay marriage has never been an huge issue here, and that the gay community is so well accepted. Of course, there are always communities that have a problem with it. But there will always be narrow minded people everywhere. Unfortunately.

It's pretty ironic that I live in a country where things are pretty well accepted, and that I have friends and family who never make a big deal out of gayness. And yet, I am still afraid to come out :-\
aw sweetie it's normal. i mean, my best friend is like, really really progressive and open minded and pro-gay, yet i was still really scared to come out to her.
you should try  :) one by one, small steps.
honestly, if i were out only on the internet and not with some friends/acquaintances i would go NUTS. already being in an out (in with some classmates, people i don't know well etc, people i know who are homophobic) kills me and it's a big source of stress.
 :)
and be thankful you don't live in italy!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: imaginary friend on January 11, 2010, 12:33:53 PM
it's weird because Portugal is a really catholic country too (I believe abortion is still illegal there!), yet they have gay marriage.

the gay couple is at their 8th day with no food. sigh. no notice on the news or anything. i wish they would stop, it's really getting dangerous for their health.

1) as george Carlin once pointed out, who has less abortions than gay people?

2) 8 days w/o food isn't dangerous for most people. doesn't mean it's a good idea, though.

#@!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Joshie on January 11, 2010, 08:28:07 PM
So I've read through a lot of posts talking about the whole Letterman joke, and the idea of lightening up and, for the most part, I agree with the sentiment. I have to tell you guys, though, about what happened to me my second week of teaching elementary school art.

I stood up at the board, excited to discuss how various artists have used warm and cool colors. I had my lesson plans. I had my giant posters, paint, colored pencils, crayons, watercolors. I was ready. I, with a huge grin on my face, ask the kids to tell me what they notice about these paintings and the first thing out of the first 3rd grader's mouth was "What's with that little faggot in the blue dress?" (Gainsborough's "Blue Boy")(http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a2/jegcreations/thomas-gainsborough-the-blue-boy-17.jpg) Now, let's be honest, the kid was right (people in 1770 had a thing for ruffles), but the freedom with which he threw the word into the air struck me hard. He didn't know what that word meant, had no idea of the connotations, and, likely, didn't know much about gay people other than what he had gleaned from some bigoted adult conversation. 

Since then I've heard schoolchildren call everything from string beans to homework "gay." I saw a PSA once, in which one girl starts using another girls name as a synonym for "shitty" and that's where I stand on the issue. It's offensive and teaches kids from early on that gay people (or any other person who falls under the GLBT alphabet soup) are weird, abnormal, or just plain "shitty." It's become my secret crusade to do my part as a teacher to make sure that homophobia stops before the seed can take root in a child's mind. Allowing bigotry to go on unhindered and unexposed in our society is unacceptable. If there is any way to get others to understand that, maybe the little first grader with two mommies won't equate their gayness with "a ton of homework" or "string beans."

So there...
(http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a2/jegcreations/Photo130.jpg)Little me, giving you snaps in my rainbow suspenders. lol
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: stallionbreaker on January 12, 2010, 09:03:33 AM
I like your point, Josh. How do you turn that kind of language usage in your classroom around? (not a hypothetical question)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on January 12, 2010, 04:48:18 PM
the GLBT alphabet soup

Haha, I think I love you for this.

After reading a book about serial killers I note that quite a few of them were gay...or killed gay people.
The book seemed to kind of blame their killing on being gay. It described dysfunctional family situations like abusive parents or a history of alcoholism and included being gay there,that can't be right.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on January 12, 2010, 05:01:14 PM
the GLBT alphabet soup

Haha, I think I love you for this.

After reading a book about serial killers I note that quite a few of them were gay...or killed gay people.
The book seemed to kind of blame their killing on being gay. It described dysfunctional family situations like abusive parents or a history of alcoholism and included being gay there,that can't be right.

I just finished a book that explored the idea that everything we are, essentially, is due to our upbringing - including sexuality. It could be that the situations that influence someone to be a psycho have gay as a bi-product? And that is NOT saying that all gay people are psycho!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on January 12, 2010, 06:51:32 PM
the GLBT alphabet soup

Haha, I think I love you for this.

After reading a book about serial killers I note that quite a few of them were gay...or killed gay people.
The book seemed to kind of blame their killing on being gay. It described dysfunctional family situations like abusive parents or a history of alcoholism and included being gay there,that can't be right.

I just finished a book that explored the idea that everything we are, essentially, is due to our upbringing - including sexuality. It could be that the situations that influence someone to be a psycho have gay as a bi-product? And that is NOT saying that all gay people are psycho!
i really don't think sexuality is due to upbringing. uhmm. maybe the acknowledgement of our sexuality (i can only think of all the people in denial...to themselves), that would make more sense.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Joshie on January 12, 2010, 07:32:46 PM
the GLBT alphabet soup

Haha, I think I love you for this.

After reading a book about serial killers I note that quite a few of them were gay...or killed gay people.
The book seemed to kind of blame their killing on being gay. It described dysfunctional family situations like abusive parents or a history of alcoholism and included being gay there,that can't be right.

I just finished a book that explored the idea that everything we are, essentially, is due to our upbringing - including sexuality. It could be that the situations that influence someone to be a psycho have gay as a bi-product? And that is NOT saying that all gay people are psycho!


1. Thanks for loving me, peeps. I love you and I haven't met you yet.

2. I think so many things about homosexuality are difficult to prove with so many people still living in fear of coming out. Also, if people's sexuality had that much to do with upbringing, wouldn't it stand to reason that if there is a gay sibling, the other one would be gay as well since they were raised in the same environment? I do think that being gay, people are less likely to have healthy childhoods as they often experience feelings of being an outsider. It's society's actions that screw with developing minds.

I think of it this way. Heterosexual people get to go through adolescence declaring crushes openly, dating whoever they want to date, never hearing someone call someone else a "hetero" as an insult. In essence, without being stigmatized. I think that the stigma associated with being gay may preclude some issues that need working out, especially for people who have a more difficult situation than others. This does not mean that they are going to become serial killers. I'd bet a ton of money that's highly inaccurate.

More likely it's what Margaret Cho said: "If you are hated for who you like to f**k, you're gonna kick up your heels and f**k...and it is such an inspiration to watch."
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on January 12, 2010, 07:38:02 PM
More likely it's what Margaret Cho said: "If you are hated for who you like to f**k, you're gonna kick up your heels and f**k...and it is such an inspiration to watch."

And then you quote the Cho, more love.


I just noticed the tabs I have open.
The shadowbox topic: gayness
Afterelton.com
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Ryan James on January 12, 2010, 09:05:47 PM
So I've read through a lot of posts talking about the whole Letterman joke, and the idea of lightening up and, for the most part, I agree with the sentiment. I have to tell you guys, though, about what happened to me my second week of teaching elementary school art.

I stood up at the board, excited to discuss how various artists have used warm and cool colors. I had my lesson plans. I had my giant posters, paint, colored pencils, crayons, watercolors. I was ready. I, with a huge grin on my face, ask the kids to tell me what they notice about these paintings and the first thing out of the first 3rd grader's mouth was "What's with that little faggot in the blue dress?" (Gainsborough's "Blue Boy")(http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a2/jegcreations/thomas-gainsborough-the-blue-boy-17.jpg) Now, let's be honest, the kid was right (people in 1770 had a thing for ruffles), but the freedom with which he threw the word into the air struck me hard. He didn't know what that word meant, had no idea of the connotations, and, likely, didn't know much about gay people other than what he had gleaned from some bigoted adult conversation. 

Since then I've heard schoolchildren call everything from string beans to homework "gay." I saw a PSA once, in which one girl starts using another girls name as a synonym for "shitty" and that's where I stand on the issue. It's offensive and teaches kids from early on that gay people (or any other person who falls under the GLBT alphabet soup) are weird, abnormal, or just plain "shitty." It's become my secret crusade to do my part as a teacher to make sure that homophobia stops before the seed can take root in a child's mind. Allowing bigotry to go on unhindered and unexposed in our society is unacceptable. If there is any way to get others to understand that, maybe the little first grader with two mommies won't equate their gayness with "a ton of homework" or "string beans."

So there...
(http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a2/jegcreations/Photo130.jpg)Little me, giving you snaps in my rainbow suspenders. lol


thank you - this is exactly the point I was trying to make.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Wednesday Friday on January 12, 2010, 11:11:34 PM
Well said, Josh. And those are some badass rainbow suspenders.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Goodbye-Umbrella on January 12, 2010, 11:42:46 PM
i kind of see 'gay' and 'homosexual' as two different things. i think 'gay' implies a whole culture with stereotypes ect. like goth, scene kid, emo, hippy, prep, and so on...
homosexual is just like heterosexual- its just who you sleep with, theres not a specific subculture associated.

all these subcultures have plenty of homosexual and heterosexual people in both. it just kind of happens that in the gay culture the majority of the people are homosexual. i think its because of this, a lot of people assume just cause your homosexual your part of this culture... or a lot of homosexual people assume they have to be part of this culture.

personally im not a huge fan of gay culture. i don't think that makes me homophobic, im also not a huge fan of emo culture. i have nothing against sleeping with guys though. or girls. people are fairly awesome. as long as they dont dress/act certain ways just to fit into a category... 
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Ryan James on January 13, 2010, 12:29:27 AM
i kind of see 'gay' and 'homosexual' as two different things. i think 'gay' implies a whole culture with stereotypes ect. like goth, scene kid, emo, hippy, prep, and so on...
homosexual is just like heterosexual- its just who you sleep with, theres not a specific subculture associated.

all these subcultures have plenty of homosexual and heterosexual people in both. it just kind of happens that in the gay culture the majority of the people are homosexual. i think its because of this, a lot of people assume just cause your homosexual your part of this culture... or a lot of homosexual people assume they have to be part of this culture.

personally im not a huge fan of gay culture. i don't think that makes me homophobic, im also not a huge fan of emo culture. i have nothing against sleeping with guys though. or girls. people are fairly awesome. as long as they dont dress/act certain ways just to fit into a category... 

I actually hate the word homosexual because the history of the word has a rather negative clinical connotation, and it tends to make me feel uncomfortable. I know a lot of people who use it who are by no means homophobic or hateful, but I prefer to avoid usage of the word because to me it sounds dehumanizing.

edit: just read a little more about this topic, and would like to include that the word homosexual was originally intended to describe strictly a sexual aspect of being gay - like I said, it's clinical. Whereas the term gay was embraced by the gay community to include the ideas of romantic love. I think that's a distinct difference.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on January 13, 2010, 02:00:06 AM
the GLBT alphabet soup

Haha, I think I love you for this.

After reading a book about serial killers I note that quite a few of them were gay...or killed gay people.
The book seemed to kind of blame their killing on being gay. It described dysfunctional family situations like abusive parents or a history of alcoholism and included being gay there,that can't be right.

I just finished a book that explored the idea that everything we are, essentially, is due to our upbringing - including sexuality. It could be that the situations that influence someone to be a psycho have gay as a bi-product? And that is NOT saying that all gay people are psycho!


1. Thanks for loving me, peeps. I love you and I haven't met you yet.

2. I think so many things about homosexuality are difficult to prove with so many people still living in fear of coming out. Also, if people's sexuality had that much to do with upbringing, wouldn't it stand to reason that if there is a gay sibling, the other one would be gay as well since they were raised in the same environment? I do think that being gay, people are less likely to have healthy childhoods as they often experience feelings of being an outsider. It's society's actions that screw with developing minds.

I think of it this way. Heterosexual people get to go through adolescence declaring crushes openly, dating whoever they want to date, never hearing someone call someone else a "hetero" as an insult. In essence, without being stigmatized. I think that the stigma associated with being gay may preclude some issues that need working out, especially for people who have a more difficult situation than others. This does not mean that they are going to become serial killers. I'd bet a ton of money that's highly inaccurate.

More likely it's what Margaret Cho said: "If you are hated for who you like to f**k, you're gonna kick up your heels and f**k...and it is such an inspiration to watch."

According to John Savage, there are sociological surveys that show that males with a greater number of male older siblings are more likely to be homosexual. So it's arguably a response to the environment you're brought up in, instead of a result of the environment you're brought up in.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Ryan James on January 13, 2010, 02:13:37 AM
The Royal College of Psychiatrists states:
“Despite almost a century of psychoanalytic and psychological speculation, there is no substantive evidence to support the suggestion that the nature of parenting or early childhood experiences play any role in the formation of a person’s fundamental heterosexual or homosexual orientation. It would appear that sexual orientation is biological in nature, determined by a complex interplay of genetic factors and the early uterine environment. Sexual orientation is therefore not a choice."

I culled this from wikipedia - but the full article, submitted by the main group of professional psychiatrists in the UK, can be read

here> http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/pdf/Submission%20to%20the%20Church%20of%20England.pdf (http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/pdf/Submission%20to%20the%20Church%20of%20England.pdf)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on January 13, 2010, 03:05:47 AM
The Royal College of Psychiatrists states:
“Despite almost a century of psychoanalytic and psychological speculation, there is no substantive evidence to support the suggestion that the nature of parenting or early childhood experiences play any role in the formation of a person’s fundamental heterosexual or homosexual orientation. It would appear that sexual orientation is biological in nature, determined by a complex interplay of genetic factors and the early uterine environment. Sexual orientation is therefore not a choice."

I culled this from wikipedia - but the full article, submitted by the main group of professional psychiatrists in the UK, can be read

here> http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/pdf/Submission%20to%20the%20Church%20of%20England.pdf (http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/pdf/Submission%20to%20the%20Church%20of%20England.pdf)

So if they proved it had something to do with upbringing that means it WOULD be a choice?! There's more than a few flaws in logic there.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Ryan James on January 13, 2010, 03:46:35 AM
The Royal College of Psychiatrists states:
“Despite almost a century of psychoanalytic and psychological speculation, there is no substantive evidence to support the suggestion that the nature of parenting or early childhood experiences play any role in the formation of a person’s fundamental heterosexual or homosexual orientation. It would appear that sexual orientation is biological in nature, determined by a complex interplay of genetic factors and the early uterine environment. Sexual orientation is therefore not a choice."

I culled this from wikipedia - but the full article, submitted by the main group of professional psychiatrists in the UK, can be read

here> http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/pdf/Submission%20to%20the%20Church%20of%20England.pdf (http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/pdf/Submission%20to%20the%20Church%20of%20England.pdf)

So if they proved it had something to do with upbringing that means it WOULD be a choice?! There's more than a few flaws in logic there.

I don't think that was the intent of the statement. This was in an article directed towards The Church of England, if you read the entire thing they breakdown a lot of typical stereotypes, the general idea being to take a scientific stand towards why equality is deserved.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Wednesday Friday on January 13, 2010, 03:54:59 AM
I think it's way too reductive to try and pin something as complex as human sexuality down to a single factor, be it genetics, upbringing or whatever. And I don't think it's very constructive either. I mean I see why some people would like to have definitive proof of a biological cause of sexual orientation, so that those right wing religious loonies could no longer refute the legitimacy of homosexuality and spout their "it's a choice" nonsense. But in my opinion, whilst science is definitely a big piece of the puzzle, that alone is too much of a simplistic outlook, and doesn't take into account the broad spectrum of human sexuality.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Goodbye-Umbrella on January 13, 2010, 05:35:16 AM
i kind of see 'gay' and 'homosexual' as two different things. i think 'gay' implies a whole culture with stereotypes ect. like goth, scene kid, emo, hippy, prep, and so on...
homosexual is just like heterosexual- its just who you sleep with, theres not a specific subculture associated.

all these subcultures have plenty of homosexual and heterosexual people in both. it just kind of happens that in the gay culture the majority of the people are homosexual. i think its because of this, a lot of people assume just cause your homosexual your part of this culture... or a lot of homosexual people assume they have to be part of this culture.

personally im not a huge fan of gay culture. i don't think that makes me homophobic, im also not a huge fan of emo culture. i have nothing against sleeping with guys though. or girls. people are fairly awesome. as long as they dont dress/act certain ways just to fit into a category... 

I actually hate the word homosexual because the history of the word has a rather negative clinical connotation, and it tends to make me feel uncomfortable. I know a lot of people who use it who are by no means homophobic or hateful, but I prefer to avoid usage of the word because to me it sounds dehumanizing.

edit: just read a little more about this topic, and would like to include that the word homosexual was originally intended to describe strictly a sexual aspect of being gay - like I said, it's clinical. Whereas the term gay was embraced by the gay community to include the ideas of romantic love. I think that's a distinct difference.

well yeah thats exactly what i mean. i think who someone is attracted to is just a clinical thing, to describe sexual attraction. stuff like romance and love is a general human think, i think when it comes to that it doesnt matter what gender you like sleeping with.

that being said i wouldnt refer to myself as 'homosexual'. it doesnt really roll of the tongue, and technically im bisexual. but i dont even refer to myself as that, im not hugely into labels/titles ect. but on a clinical level im bisexual. i know gay people who don't like to go under the label gay because of the connotations that go with it, but still have no desire to hide the fact they sleep with the same sex- they just treat it the same as being straight (no assumed associated community or culture).

i was going to say that i don't see why a community needs to be formed based on sexual attraction, but i do see why. i guess in the past and a lot of places still today there has been a lot of discrimination and stuff, so i guess any minority needs a community to fight for rights and such.

i guess im lucky that i live in a place where ive never needed a 'gay community'. ive never really been faced with discrimination or oppression or anything. the most ive seen people make fun of gay people is in imitating campness and such as a joke, but its a lot of members of the gay community who embrace the camp stereotype. That would be fine if the gay community was generally seen as something seperate to homosexual people in general, but a lot of people assume there's no difference, and so these people who embrace the campness and dumb stereotypes just give a bad name to everyone who sleeps with some whose the same gender as them. i guess im just a little resentful towards the "gay community" because of that.

i dont think im making a lot of sense... luckily there's almost always an onion article for something you want to express:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28491
"gay rights parade sets gay rights back 50 years"
 
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on January 13, 2010, 03:38:07 PM
I just don't think genetics can be responsible for sexuality - that's like saying there's a "gay" gene, which seems to me absurd. When I said that sexuality could be through upbringing, I don't mean like, "They treated you girly so you're gay" or anything, but something much deeper and more subtle than that - sexuality isn't a choice any more than any other bit of your personality is a choice, but that doesn't mean it's genetic. I guess I mean it's about like where you are in the family and how your parents felt about you and your gender and how you reacted to the male figures in your life and the female figures in your life differently and stuff.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Joshie on January 13, 2010, 06:46:35 PM
I think it's way too reductive to try and pin something as complex as human sexuality down to a single factor, be it genetics, upbringing or whatever. And I don't think it's very constructive either. I mean I see why some people would like to have definitive proof of a biological cause of sexual orientation, so that those right wing religious loonies could no longer refute the legitimacy of homosexuality and spout their "it's a choice" nonsense. But in my opinion, whilst science is definitely a big piece of the puzzle, that alone is too much of a simplistic outlook, and doesn't take into account the broad spectrum of human sexuality.

Agreed. :)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Joshie on January 13, 2010, 06:52:22 PM
I just don't think genetics can be responsible for sexuality - that's like saying there's a "gay" gene, which seems to me absurd. When I said that sexuality could be through upbringing, I don't mean like, "They treated you girly so you're gay" or anything, but something much deeper and more subtle than that - sexuality isn't a choice any more than any other bit of your personality is a choice, but that doesn't mean it's genetic. I guess I mean it's about like where you are in the family and how your parents felt about you and your gender and how you reacted to the male figures in your life and the female figures in your life differently and stuff.

So you don't think it has anything to do with chemical processes whatsoever? What about the fact that at 5 I knew I was different, though I didn't know how? If bipolar disorder and however many other things can be ascribed to your brain chemistry, why not homosexuality (at least to some extent)?

Again, I think it's hard to prove genetics partially because until recently and still to some degree people have stayed in the closet for years and years.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Morpheus Laughing on January 13, 2010, 08:40:37 PM
I just don't think genetics can be responsible for sexuality - that's like saying there's a "gay" gene, which seems to me absurd. When I said that sexuality could be through upbringing, I don't mean like, "They treated you girly so you're gay" or anything, but something much deeper and more subtle than that - sexuality isn't a choice any more than any other bit of your personality is a choice, but that doesn't mean it's genetic. I guess I mean it's about like where you are in the family and how your parents felt about you and your gender and how you reacted to the male figures in your life and the female figures in your life differently and stuff.

So you don't think it has anything to do with chemical processes whatsoever? What about the fact that at 5 I knew I was different, though I didn't know how? If bipolar disorder and however many other things can be ascribed to your brain chemistry, why not homosexuality (at least to some extent)?

Again, I think it's hard to prove genetics partially because until recently and still to some degree people have stayed in the closet for years and years.

I’m inclined to agree. Non-human animals have been known to exhibit homosexuality. At very least I would say that it’s about as innate as many developmental processes can be viewed to be.

Also of note: The Gene for “such and such” is not the way genetics works. There are likely to be a number of gene processes regulating sexuality in pre-natal development.

Due to the way the body regulates bodily processes (hormones etc) there will be degree of fluctuation in the way certain processes interact with each other throughout the course of life. Some of these interactions on occasion may effect sexuality (needn't even be a drastic effect) just like long term changes in metabolism effect other bodily functions. This is to say that lots of things about the human body are not fixed at birth but also that some things may be more “fixed” in one person than another. At any rate these processes are genetic in origin but can perhaps conceivably allow for an environmental interpretation (arbitrary in my view). The fact that there are so many variables involved in such an environmental interpretation actually renders it useless as pinpointing an influence on sexuality - It may as well be genetic given that the same variables would not produce the same effect on another person anyway. {I'm not using any of this as an explanation of bisexuality. There are other ways of explaining the sexual spectrum}   
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Joshie on January 13, 2010, 09:23:43 PM
I just don't think genetics can be responsible for sexuality - that's like saying there's a "gay" gene, which seems to me absurd. When I said that sexuality could be through upbringing, I don't mean like, "They treated you girly so you're gay" or anything, but something much deeper and more subtle than that - sexuality isn't a choice any more than any other bit of your personality is a choice, but that doesn't mean it's genetic. I guess I mean it's about like where you are in the family and how your parents felt about you and your gender and how you reacted to the male figures in your life and the female figures in your life differently and stuff.

So you don't think it has anything to do with chemical processes whatsoever? What about the fact that at 5 I knew I was different, though I didn't know how? If bipolar disorder and however many other things can be ascribed to your brain chemistry, why not homosexuality (at least to some extent)?

Again, I think it's hard to prove genetics partially because until recently and still to some degree people have stayed in the closet for years and years.

I’m inclined to agree. Non-human animals have been known to exhibit homosexuality. At very least I would say that it’s about as innate as many developmental processes can be viewed to be.

Also of note: The Gene for “such and such” is not the way genetics works. There are likely to be a number of gene processes regulating sexuality in pre-natal development.

Due to the way the body regulates bodily processes (hormones etc) there will be degree of fluctuation in the way certain processes interact with each other throughout the course of life. Some of these interactions on occasion may effect sexuality (needn't even be a drastic effect) just like long term changes in metabolism effect other bodily functions. This is to say that lots of things about the human body are not fixed at birth but also that some things may be more “fixed” in one person than another. At any rate these processes are genetic in origin but can perhaps conceivably allow for an environmental interpretation (arbitrary in my view). The fact that there are so many variables involved in such an environmental interpretation actually renders it useless as pinpointing an influence on sexuality - It may as well be genetic given that the same variables would not produce the same effect on another person anyway. {I'm not using any of this as an explanation of bisexuality. There are other ways of explaining the sexual spectrum}   


^  So, as usual, it's way more complex than whatever most of us are thinking. lol
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on January 14, 2010, 05:35:00 AM
I just don't think genetics can be responsible for sexuality - that's like saying there's a "gay" gene, which seems to me absurd. When I said that sexuality could be through upbringing, I don't mean like, "They treated you girly so you're gay" or anything, but something much deeper and more subtle than that - sexuality isn't a choice any more than any other bit of your personality is a choice, but that doesn't mean it's genetic. I guess I mean it's about like where you are in the family and how your parents felt about you and your gender and how you reacted to the male figures in your life and the female figures in your life differently and stuff.

So you don't think it has anything to do with chemical processes whatsoever? What about the fact that at 5 I knew I was different, though I didn't know how? If bipolar disorder and however many other things can be ascribed to your brain chemistry, why not homosexuality (at least to some extent)?

Again, I think it's hard to prove genetics partially because until recently and still to some degree people have stayed in the closet for years and years.

Did you know that you were different because you were attracted to men or just that you were different in some indefinable way?

Also biology and psychology are often closely linked. Bipolar disorder is usually categorised as a psychological disorder, although the factors contributing to it are both internal (due to genetic predispositions) and external (due to outside influence). Just because something is biological doesn't necessarily rule it out as being psychological and vice versa. I think it's dangerous to compare homosexuality to a mental disorder though. I'd consider it more of a personality type or simply a result of biological responses to circumstances at some point in human development.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on January 14, 2010, 04:50:58 PM
I just don't think genetics can be responsible for sexuality - that's like saying there's a "gay" gene, which seems to me absurd. When I said that sexuality could be through upbringing, I don't mean like, "They treated you girly so you're gay" or anything, but something much deeper and more subtle than that - sexuality isn't a choice any more than any other bit of your personality is a choice, but that doesn't mean it's genetic. I guess I mean it's about like where you are in the family and how your parents felt about you and your gender and how you reacted to the male figures in your life and the female figures in your life differently and stuff.

So you don't think it has anything to do with chemical processes whatsoever? What about the fact that at 5 I knew I was different, though I didn't know how? If bipolar disorder and however many other things can be ascribed to your brain chemistry, why not homosexuality (at least to some extent)?

Again, I think it's hard to prove genetics partially because until recently and still to some degree people have stayed in the closet for years and years.

I knew I was different from as long ago as I can remember, but I also knew I was noisy and confident and day-dreamy and a thousand other things that aren't genetic. And while mental illnesses can, in some cases - such as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia - be found to have strong genetic links, the majority of them haven't been found to be genetically based at all. Also, the chance of people with a genetic disposition to mental illness actually having the illness manifest itself is due in huge part to their environment. I know you used knowing from when you were five as an example of how early you feel your sexuality was present in you, but it's the first six years of our lives that have the most impact on us - an extreme example is sexually abused children, who, if they were abused from before they were 4, are significantly more at risk of mental disturbance that those abused after that age (but not before).

I cannot believe that human beings would evolve to have such variation within us from birth - it doesn't make sense. We have a fundamental need to endear ourselves to our parents as babies, so it makes much more logical sense for us to be born without any personalities at all and instead develop according to our parents reactions to us. My mum tells me that Thomas, my older brother, was a very quiet baby who hardly ever cried wheras I was bawling my lungs out all the time and was very anxious when I was left - given that he's grown up to be very calm, solid and quite introverted and I've grown up vey extroverted and needing company to be happy, Mum reckons that was our different personalities showing through from birth. However when you factor in things like that my parents were extremely stable - financially, individually, and in their relationship with each other - when they had Thomas, and that they were living quite close to relatives and friends who could help out if needs be, and that when I was born their relationship was on the rocks, my dad was unemployed, they'd moved to a new town and my mum was suffering depression, it becomes far more likely to me that my "personality" was a reaction to what was going on around me. The fact that it's stuck is in compliance with every other study of the influence our early years have on us - life just makes much more of an impact on us while we're young. If that's the case with every other bit of our personality and our mental health, why not with sexuality?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Morpheus Laughing on January 14, 2010, 05:34:14 PM
According to John Savage, there are sociological surveys that show that males with a greater number of male older siblings are more likely to be homosexual. So it's arguably a response to the environment you're brought up in, instead of a result of the environment you're brought up in.
I think that’s the same research that often gets paired with the digit ratio findings. The ratio of the index finger and ring finger, is thought to be an indication of exposure to androgens e.g. testosterone while in the uterus.

“2D:4D is sexually dimorphic: in males, the second digit tends to be shorter than the fourth, and in females the second tends to be the same size or slightly longer than the fourth. However, homosexual men tend to have a higher 2D:4D digit ratios than heterosexual men.”

It would not be wise to use this as definitive proof of biological origins of homosexuality but it raises a lot of interesting questions.

Returning to the number of older male siblings. It could just as easily be related to biological factors in the womb. There are some very interesting theoretical arguments that explore the idea that homosexuality might even be positively selected for (in the evolutionary sense) as a mechanism to limit infighting.i.e environmental pressures could actually be effecting pre-natal development. 
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: overratedtoejam on January 14, 2010, 05:37:44 PM
my opinion on the matter: we're gay, and ain't nothing gonna change that.

i'll let the scientists deal with the rest.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: FrailAndBedazzled on January 14, 2010, 06:15:30 PM
my opinion on the matter: we're gay, and ain't nothing gonna change that.

i'll let the scientists deal with the rest.
Word.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on January 14, 2010, 08:16:23 PM
Fuck.
It got out to the scangers that I was going out with Daniel.
Fuck. Fuck fuckiddy fucking refridgerator.
FUCK.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Zephyr on January 15, 2010, 01:06:49 AM
the GLBT alphabet soup

Haha, I think I love you for this.

After reading a book about serial killers I note that quite a few of them were gay...or killed gay people.
The book seemed to kind of blame their killing on being gay. It described dysfunctional family situations like abusive parents or a history of alcoholism and included being gay there,that can't be right.

I just finished a book that explored the idea that everything we are, essentially, is due to our upbringing - including sexuality. It could be that the situations that influence someone to be a psycho have gay as a bi-product? And that is NOT saying that all gay people are psycho!

The problem is that being gay is often not accepted. So if someone knows they're gay, but everyone keeps telling them it's wrong and unnatural, it's only to be expected that they will eventually become troubled and go crazy. I had to do this report about gender identity disorder a while ago and people with GID do indeed have a lot more psychiatric disorders. Still, there's nothing about GID that leads to those problems. It's the reaction of people to them, that will make them depressed, or something else. So what I'm saying... blame everyone else for gay serial killers.

And Indja, how old is that book? The debate of nature versus nurture was settled a long time ago, and the truth is that it's neither one nor the other. Both biological factors and upbringing influence each other. Some things are influenced more by biology, some more by outside influences. I'm not sure if they have figured out the gay thing. On the one hand, there seems to be a lot of evidence that says it's mostly biological, but I do also remember reading a research article that said that twin studies have shown that gayness is in fact not hereditary. So what I really want to say is that Tegan & Sara are weird.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Merk on January 15, 2010, 09:47:17 AM

Quote
twin studies have shown that gayness is in fact not hereditary.

that would explain a lot for me then :P ...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on January 15, 2010, 10:13:01 AM
The book came out about two years ago - I'm not just arguing from some dusty old tome from the 1800s xD And yeah, a lot of the twin things show that it's not hereditary - but hey, I think Tegan & Sara are a little bit strange in many lovely ways xD


EDIT: Nothing to do with my previous point, but I had to tell y'all. In a conversation I just had with my dad, he said that tattoos are only for "lesbians and sailors", so I said, "Right then, I'm a lesbian" and he said, "Well, thank you for being honest with me after all - why did you wait until I've had half a bottle of wine and am too drunk to say Ooooh, that's ok darling, we've always known?" Awkward pause. "I'm not a lesbian, Dad. ...I'm a sailor."

He laughed, and then on the way out he said, "I think you should wait until you get a tattoo. And by the way, it's ok if you want to bring your girlfriends home, but you can't sleep with them. That's the rules."


I am in equal parts wtf and lmao. I don't even quite know what happened. I think I may have come out to my dad as the wrong sexuality :-\
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on January 15, 2010, 04:22:59 PM
The book came out about two years ago - I'm not just arguing from some dusty old tome from the 1800s xD And yeah, a lot of the twin things show that it's not hereditary - but hey, I think Tegan & Sara are a little bit strange in many lovely ways xD


EDIT: Nothing to do with my previous point, but I had to tell y'all. In a conversation I just had with my dad, he said that tattoos are only for "lesbians and sailors", so I said, "Right then, I'm a lesbian" and he said, "Well, thank you for being honest with me after all - why did you wait until I've had half a bottle of wine and am too drunk to say Ooooh, that's ok darling, we've always known?" Awkward pause. "I'm not a lesbian, Dad. ...I'm a sailor."

He laughed, and then on the way out he said, "I think you should wait until you get a tattoo. And by the way, it's ok if you want to bring your girlfriends home, but you can't sleep with them. That's the rules."


I am in equal parts wtf and lmao. I don't even quite know what happened. I think I may have come out to my dad as the wrong sexuality :-\

oh, THIS post. O0

i think i told my folks i was pregnant first, so they'd have a period of relief for me to interject the 'lesbian' part into.  my dad and stepmom had to say, 'yeah, we know--we were wondering how you actually got pregnant.'  well thanks for telling ME........

they will get the idea when you bring the house guy home with your girlfriend.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on January 15, 2010, 04:26:47 PM
I think I'm just gonna leave it, tbh - they'll love me anyway. I can be gay until September xD
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on January 15, 2010, 04:33:06 PM
I think I'm just gonna leave it, tbh - they'll love me anyway. I can be gay until September xD

you know, it might be easier to accept only because 'gay' is, to date, a more definable term to a lot of people than 'bi.'  reason being, you say 'bi' and a parent, anyway, sees a life down the road of god knows what..........does she mean orgies, or two partners or a triad or wtf?  because there really isn't as much 'bi culture' as there is a WEALTH of gay culture to see....it makes sense that bi would freak a parent out in some sense.

but, if gay is okay, you're halfway there.  although if you do bring a fellow home, you might want to make sure he is so awesome he can measure up to the charisma we girls have, or at least have a very thick skin.  i can't think of anything more awkward for a fellow than, 'what ever happened to that alexandria girl that you used to hang out with?  man i really liked her.'

plus, if it were just gay, you'd totally get a toaster, and everyone knows lesbians have the best toasters.  your dad only wants you to be happy with your toaster, of course.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on January 15, 2010, 04:37:41 PM
....toaster? ....toaster. Um... I'm just gonna let that one go and hope I understand it later in life xD

I think you're spot on with the easier-to-be-gay thing - my dad is VERY traditional (one might say prehistoric xD) in his views on sexuality - gay men are all super-camp, lesbians are all super-butch, and for him bisexuality is just not a thing. It's like it just doesn't compute with him on any level. He can get that you can fancy men or women, but not both, he just can't get his head round that.

I think my ultimate feeling on this is the same as it's pretty much always been when it comes to my parents and my love-life - unless I'm talking about marriage or something serious or whatever, it's really none of their business. I mean, it doesn't change anything about me in my capacity as a daughter.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on January 15, 2010, 04:43:23 PM
....toaster? ....toaster. Um... I'm just gonna let that one go and hope I understand it later in life xD

I think you're spot on with the easier-to-be-gay thing - my dad is VERY traditional (one might say prehistoric xD) in his views on sexuality - gay men are all super-camp, lesbians are all super-butch, and for him bisexuality is just not a thing. It's like it just doesn't compute with him on any level. He can get that you can fancy men or women, but not both, he just can't get his head round that.

I think my ultimate feeling on this is the same as it's pretty much always been when it comes to my parents and my love-life - unless I'm talking about marriage or something serious or whatever, it's really none of their business. I mean, it doesn't change anything about me in my capacity as a daughter.

you're absolutely right, it doesn't.  either way, you has awesome.


toaster joke = when you become a lesbian along with your membership card, you get a toaster.  or sometimes they say you get one when you bring someone else into the fold.  it's a really old joke and it makes no sense whenever i use it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on January 15, 2010, 04:46:25 PM
Ooooooh, it's a lesbajoke...... Fucking lesbians... xD

And yeah, I do has awesome xD I never tell my parents anything anyway, they won't mind if they find out I'm bi :D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on January 15, 2010, 05:15:03 PM
Ooooooh, it's a lesbajoke...... Fucking lesbians... xD

And yeah, I do has awesome xD I never tell my parents anything anyway, they won't mind if they find out I'm bi :D


the lesbilluminati has many jokes, most of which aren't funny; i am not sure why i still try to use the toaster one.  you would think i would learn.  but you do has awesome.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: stallionbreaker on January 15, 2010, 09:32:25 PM
I always heard it as I get a toaster when I convert you to lesbianism. Speaking of which, my current toaster does not function optimally... I should probably start looking for a straight girl to turn.

Congrats on your gayness, Indja. I didn't know you had it in you.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on January 16, 2010, 11:34:22 AM
Thanks very much, sweetie. To be honest, I didn't either.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Merk on January 16, 2010, 07:00:20 PM
hmm....
i am bit confused

can you still be gay and sleep with woman?
cos, i know i am gay. i am a pretty stereotypical gay man boy, i cannot imagine myself with a woman.ever.
however, erm, i wouldn't really mind sleeping with a girl, even though i don't think there attractive. i get pretty horny watching straight porn now (maybe cos i am so used to watching gay porn and the straight porn is different, so it interests me? yada, yada, yada) is this just my hormones and shit cos i am going through puberty? or am i bi? or just fucked up xP ?


Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on January 16, 2010, 07:22:20 PM
I think you should all watch the movie Tru Loved.
I'm watching it for the first time now, I think it accurately portrays the varying attitudes towards being gay amongst teenagers.
It's about a girl who starts a gay-straight alliance in her school, so far it all seems pretty real.
I also like that it shows that gay guys aren't all pansies.




And the fact that Jasmine guy is in it is awsome too.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on January 16, 2010, 07:32:06 PM
hmm....
i am bit confused

can you still be gay and sleep with woman?
cos, i know i am gay. i am a pretty stereotypical gay man boy, i cannot imagine myself with a woman.ever.
however, erm, i wouldn't really mind sleeping with a girl, even though i don't think there attractive. i get pretty horny watching straight porn now (maybe cos i am so used to watching gay porn and the straight porn is different, so it interests me? yada, yada, yada) is this just my hormones and shit cos i am going through puberty? or am i bi? or just fucked up xP ?




I'm bi and I can't stand gay porn. Mostly because the guys are always horribly unattractive.

But to give you some serious advice. If you aren't attracted to women then you aren't heterosexual. If you do find yourself attracted to women along with your already identified attraction to men, then you are bisexual, or whatever you want to call it. Don't overthink it. Straight men are known to watch gay porn and gay men are known to watch straight porn out of curiosity. This reveals nothing about there preferences or to which gender they are attracted. Oh and there is absolutely nothing wrong with having feelings for the opposite sex. It is both healthy and normal and nobody thinks any less of you for it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Merk on January 16, 2010, 07:34:03 PM
hmm....
i am bit confused

can you still be gay and sleep with woman?
cos, i know i am gay. i am a pretty stereotypical gay man boy, i cannot imagine myself with a woman.ever.
however, erm, i wouldn't really mind sleeping with a girl, even though i don't think there attractive. i get pretty horny watching straight porn now (maybe cos i am so used to watching gay porn and the straight porn is different, so it interests me? yada, yada, yada) is this just my hormones and shit cos i am going through puberty? or am i bi? or just fucked up xP ?




I'm bi and I can't stand gay porn. Mostly because the guys are always horribly unattractive.

But to give you some serious advice. If you aren't attracted to women then you aren't heterosexual. If you do find yourself attracted to women along with your already identified attraction to men, then you are bisexual, or whatever you want to call it. Don't overthink it. Straight men are known to watch gay porn and gay men are known to watch straight porn out of curiosity. This reveals nothing about there preferences or to which gender they are attracted. Oh and there is absolutely nothing wrong with having feelings for the opposite sex. It is both healthy and normal and nobody thinks any less of you for it.
cheers, that cleared up a lot for me :)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on January 17, 2010, 08:40:22 AM
hmm....
i am bit confused

can you still be gay and sleep with woman?
cos, i know i am gay. i am a pretty stereotypical gay man boy, i cannot imagine myself with a woman.ever.
however, erm, i wouldn't really mind sleeping with a girl, even though i don't think there attractive. i get pretty horny watching straight porn now (maybe cos i am so used to watching gay porn and the straight porn is different, so it interests me? yada, yada, yada) is this just my hormones and shit cos i am going through puberty? or am i bi? or just fucked up xP ?




I'm bi and I can't stand gay porn. Mostly because the guys are always horribly unattractive.

But to give you some serious advice. If you aren't attracted to women then you aren't heterosexual. If you do find yourself attracted to women along with your already identified attraction to men, then you are bisexual, or whatever you want to call it. Don't overthink it. Straight men are known to watch gay porn and gay men are known to watch straight porn out of curiosity. This reveals nothing about there preferences or to which gender they are attracted. Oh and there is absolutely nothing wrong with having feelings for the opposite sex. It is both healthy and normal and nobody thinks any less of you for it.

Agreed.

I'd have to say I'd be in a similar situation; I've watched porn with straight friends, and been actively encouraged to watch gay porn by straight friends looking for a decent excuse to watch it. And of course, I've inadvertedly received plenty of Bluetooth porn on buses  ;D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on January 17, 2010, 09:16:19 AM
hmm....
i am bit confused

can you still be gay and sleep with woman?
cos, i know i am gay. i am a pretty stereotypical gay man boy, i cannot imagine myself with a woman.ever.
however, erm, i wouldn't really mind sleeping with a girl, even though i don't think there attractive. i get pretty horny watching straight porn now (maybe cos i am so used to watching gay porn and the straight porn is different, so it interests me? yada, yada, yada) is this just my hormones and shit cos i am going through puberty? or am i bi? or just fucked up xP ?



nobody is fucked up darling, don't worry.
you are indeed very young, so it might as well be the hormones.

re : the topic of gay people watching straight porn, and viceversa... i read a study conducted by scientists that said that mainly it is the sexual act per se that excites us. in this study they had shown how the majority of lesbians and homosexuals were sexually aroused by seeing a member of the opposite sex masturbating.

most porn sucks. the chicks in straight porn look awful, so fake and orange-tanned and stuff. not to mention lesbian porn, as it mainly targets heterosexual men. it's just unbearable to watch all those chicks with french manicure. ewww.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Half Mar on January 17, 2010, 09:41:13 AM
I am quite sure my mum knows and tries to get me to talk about it. I don't want to, and I keep denying it >_< But whenever, for whatever reason, the subject comes up, it always ends with the conversation directed to me, and giving hints that I might like girls too. It is very awkward, and makes me feel nervous :-\
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on January 17, 2010, 09:42:48 AM
hmm....
i am bit confused

can you still be gay and sleep with woman?
cos, i know i am gay. i am a pretty stereotypical gay man boy, i cannot imagine myself with a woman.ever.
however, erm, i wouldn't really mind sleeping with a girl, even though i don't think there attractive. i get pretty horny watching straight porn now (maybe cos i am so used to watching gay porn and the straight porn is different, so it interests me? yada, yada, yada) is this just my hormones and shit cos i am going through puberty? or am i bi? or just fucked up xP ?



nobody is fucked up darling, don't worry.
you are indeed very young, so it might as well be the hormones.

re : the topic of gay people watching straight porn, and viceversa... i read a study conducted by scientists that said that mainly it is the sexual act per se that excites us. in this study they had shown how the majority of lesbians and homosexuals were sexually aroused by seeing a member of the opposite sex masturbating.

most porn sucks. the chicks in straight porn look awful, so fake and orange-tanned and stuff. not to mention lesbian porn, as it mainly targets heterosexual men. it's just unbearable to watch all those chicks with french manicure. ewww.

I know, those fake nails gotta hurt. Does lesbian porn exist with real dykes? I think the L word is as close as you can get.



Also, regarding my earlier post about Tru loved, the ending sucked. Too much spontaneous acceptance, unrealistic.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on January 17, 2010, 10:00:28 AM
hmm....
i am bit confused

can you still be gay and sleep with woman?
cos, i know i am gay. i am a pretty stereotypical gay man boy, i cannot imagine myself with a woman.ever.
however, erm, i wouldn't really mind sleeping with a girl, even though i don't think there attractive. i get pretty horny watching straight porn now (maybe cos i am so used to watching gay porn and the straight porn is different, so it interests me? yada, yada, yada) is this just my hormones and shit cos i am going through puberty? or am i bi? or just fucked up xP ?



nobody is fucked up darling, don't worry.
you are indeed very young, so it might as well be the hormones.

re : the topic of gay people watching straight porn, and viceversa... i read a study conducted by scientists that said that mainly it is the sexual act per se that excites us. in this study they had shown how the majority of lesbians and homosexuals were sexually aroused by seeing a member of the opposite sex masturbating.

most porn sucks. the chicks in straight porn look awful, so fake and orange-tanned and stuff. not to mention lesbian porn, as it mainly targets heterosexual men. it's just unbearable to watch all those chicks with french manicure. ewww.

I know, those fake nails gotta hurt. Does lesbian porn exist with real dykes? I think the L word is as close as you can get.



Also, regarding my earlier post about Tru loved, the ending sucked. Too much spontaneous acceptance, unrealistic.
uhmm i'm not sure whether ''real'' lesbian porn exists, apart from the amateur-ish stuff.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on January 17, 2010, 11:40:17 AM
hmm....
i am bit confused

can you still be gay and sleep with woman?
cos, i know i am gay. i am a pretty stereotypical gay man boy, i cannot imagine myself with a woman.ever.
however, erm, i wouldn't really mind sleeping with a girl, even though i don't think there attractive. i get pretty horny watching straight porn now (maybe cos i am so used to watching gay porn and the straight porn is different, so it interests me? yada, yada, yada) is this just my hormones and shit cos i am going through puberty? or am i bi? or just fucked up xP ?



nobody is fucked up darling, don't worry.
you are indeed very young, so it might as well be the hormones.

re : the topic of gay people watching straight porn, and viceversa... i read a study conducted by scientists that said that mainly it is the sexual act per se that excites us. in this study they had shown how the majority of lesbians and homosexuals were sexually aroused by seeing a member of the opposite sex masturbating.

most porn sucks. the chicks in straight porn look awful, so fake and orange-tanned and stuff. not to mention lesbian porn, as it mainly targets heterosexual men. it's just unbearable to watch all those chicks with french manicure. ewww.

I know, those fake nails gotta hurt. Does lesbian porn exist with real dykes? I think the L word is as close as you can get.



Also, regarding my earlier post about Tru loved, the ending sucked. Too much spontaneous acceptance, unrealistic.
uhmm i'm not sure whether ''real'' lesbian porn exists, apart from the amateur-ish stuff.

it exists, there has been a smallish company or two try to make a market.......one in particular stands out, although i can't remember the name, but it is considered for the most part the best of a bad lot.

and, markerpen, you are not fucked up.  i know quite a few diehard lesbians who actually watch gay guy porn as porn, and i've been in plenty of relationships myself where there was any manner of sexuality on the porn shelf, although i'm pretty much exclusively lesbian.  sexuality's a fickle thing in your head, but your baser part of your mind will be pretty clear to you in the end what it does and doesn't want, even if it likes to look at what it wouldn't necessarily like to do.


i read once that statistically, more straight people purchase sex toys and other 'marital aids' than lesbians.  they somehow pro-rated the statistic to make it an even comparison because, of course, there ARE more straight people so of course they would buy more sex toys.  so probably, the market for 'real' lesbian porn wouldn't seem to be as big as for gay porn, even if there were as many lesbians watching porn as there were gay men or straight people who watch gay porn of either sort.  but, that would then mean that, even if they were watching porn, lesbians would watch gay male or straight porn themselves by preference, since there seems to be no market for strictly 'real' lesbian porn.  i think i just confused myself.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: MeAndMyCharms on January 17, 2010, 03:41:34 PM
hmm....
i am bit confused

can you still be gay and sleep with woman?

Yes, I definitely think so. My friend, who is gayer than Christmas, has absolutely no issues sleeping with women. It's not something he does often, but he has been known to sleep with his ex girlfriend when they see each other, and he's not afraid to make out with a woman. I can't think of many of his friends that he hasn't kissed!
As he has said, it feels just as nice to fuck a vagina as it does to fuck an arse

Wise words from a raging homo..
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Merk on January 17, 2010, 07:18:21 PM
cheers for the advice everyone, you have all been very helpful ;DD
its cleared up a lot for me,

and i totally agree with the fake nails with girls masturbating o.O
ouch
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: stallionbreaker on January 18, 2010, 02:42:20 PM
I am quite sure my mum knows and tries to get me to talk about it. I don't want to, and I keep denying it >_< But whenever, for whatever reason, the subject comes up, it always ends with the conversation directed to me, and giving hints that I might like girls too. It is very awkward, and makes me feel nervous :-\
My mom used to do the same thing before I found a girlfriend and was like, "Mom, this is my girlfriend." It was awkward when she would ask, and I didn't like lying so I'd just change the subject or give a non-answer. Example: "So, what's going on between you and this Laura girl?" Me: "Nothing, she's a bitch." (at that point, Laura was indeed being a bitch). Or, Mom: "Have you ever thought you might be gay?" Me: "I have a son, Mom."

I think your mom probably just wants you to feel like you can be comfortable being yourself, because that's really what most parents want for their kids. She probably thinks you'd be happier out. I understand that when you're not ready, though, you're not ready. *hugs*
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on January 18, 2010, 03:16:40 PM
I am quite sure my mum knows and tries to get me to talk about it. I don't want to, and I keep denying it >_< But whenever, for whatever reason, the subject comes up, it always ends with the conversation directed to me, and giving hints that I might like girls too. It is very awkward, and makes me feel nervous :-\
My parents are like that too, and I act like you, but mainly it's because I think they're trying to shove me out of the closet just to treat me like shit, as they really don't like gay people, and think it's a mental illness and all that. So they always talk about it but in a negative way, making fun etc. silly example of how i see their behaviour ''OMGZ homosexuals are gross. totally. you're not GAY ARE YOU???? cause you can tell us if you have something to tell us''. BAAAH
BUT your mom is really open minded from what you have said, I would totally take advantage to you. it's so stressful to be in and out, it's driving me crazy at times. I can't even imagine what it would be not to be out with people in my ''everyday'' life. but yeah, my family, nono.
soooo. I'd say, just talk to your mom, tell her you don't like talking about your private life, so you're just doing it that one time.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on January 18, 2010, 03:22:45 PM
I always forget that I'm not out to my parents xD Cos I don't talk to them about like who I fancy and stuff, so it really never comes up. Doesn't bother me - I mean, straight people don't have to come out, why should I? xD
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: stallionbreaker on January 19, 2010, 08:07:59 AM
I mean, straight people don't have to come out, why should I? xD
That's how I always felt, and why I didn't say to my parents "Hey, I'm bi." It was more of a "Just fyi, this is who I'm dating now." I let them sort out the implications. My mom did ask me recently if I'd consider dating a man again, so I went ahead and cleared things up for her (i.e. that I'll date anyone I'm attracted to... and that that isn't affected by gender so much).
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Goodbye-Umbrella on January 19, 2010, 11:06:06 AM
I always forget that I'm not out to my parents xD Cos I don't talk to them about like who I fancy and stuff, so it really never comes up. Doesn't bother me - I mean, straight people don't have to come out, why should I? xD

haha yup. parents and talking about relationships= gross. so the gender of these said relationships, remains untold to parents along with every other detail. easy.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on January 19, 2010, 11:22:26 AM
i got my hair cut really short recently and whatever way i had it first, my mum told me i looked like a dyke ahaha. she also said that dyke hair wouldn't suit me. :P
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: spider jerusalem on January 19, 2010, 11:32:41 AM
i got my hair cut really short recently and whatever way i had it first, my mum told me i looked like a dyke ahaha. she also said that dyke hair wouldn't suit me. :P

so, basically she said: my dear, your new haircut sucks.   
:D

Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The King of Carrot Flowers on January 19, 2010, 12:18:20 PM
I met the most adorable lesbo named Cora on Friday! Makes me wish I were a woman so then I could date her!
But she's quite admirable - she's already MEGA-OUT and I'm pretty sure she's not even 15 yet.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on January 19, 2010, 12:26:59 PM
i got my hair cut really short recently and whatever way i had it first, my mum told me i looked like a dyke ahaha. she also said that dyke hair wouldn't suit me. :P

so, basically she said: my dear, your new haircut sucks.   
:D
I like C.O.'s new hair....

....and hey, it's not a mullet...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on January 19, 2010, 01:15:53 PM
i got my hair cut really short recently and whatever way i had it first, my mum told me i looked like a dyke ahaha. she also said that dyke hair wouldn't suit me. :P

so, basically she said: my dear, your new haircut sucks.  
:D


haha! no she likes it short, she just didn't like it when my fringe was behind my ear :P
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: nottheonethatscrazy on January 23, 2010, 07:47:38 PM
hmm....
i am bit confused

can you still be gay and sleep with woman?
cos, i know i am gay. i am a pretty stereotypical gay man boy, i cannot imagine myself with a woman.ever.
however, erm, i wouldn't really mind sleeping with a girl, even though i don't think there attractive. i get pretty horny watching straight porn now (maybe cos i am so used to watching gay porn and the straight porn is different, so it interests me? yada, yada, yada) is this just my hormones and shit cos i am going through puberty? or am i bi? or just fucked up xP ?



nobody is fucked up darling, don't worry.
you are indeed very young, so it might as well be the hormones.

re : the topic of gay people watching straight porn, and viceversa... i read a study conducted by scientists that said that mainly it is the sexual act per se that excites us. in this study they had shown how the majority of lesbians and homosexuals were sexually aroused by seeing a member of the opposite sex masturbating.

most porn sucks. the chicks in straight porn look awful, so fake and orange-tanned and stuff. not to mention lesbian porn, as it mainly targets heterosexual men. it's just unbearable to watch all those chicks with french manicure. ewww.

I know, those fake nails gotta hurt. Does lesbian porn exist with real dykes? I think the L word is as close as you can get.



Also, regarding my earlier post about Tru loved, the ending sucked. Too much spontaneous acceptance, unrealistic.
uhmm i'm not sure whether ''real'' lesbian porn exists, apart from the amateur-ish stuff.

it exists, there has been a smallish company or two try to make a market.......one in particular stands out, although i can't remember the name, but it is considered for the most part the best of a bad lot.

and, markerpen, you are not fucked up.  i know quite a few diehard lesbians who actually watch gay guy porn as porn, and i've been in plenty of relationships myself where there was any manner of sexuality on the porn shelf, although i'm pretty much exclusively lesbian.  sexuality's a fickle thing in your head, but your baser part of your mind will be pretty clear to you in the end what it does and doesn't want, even if it likes to look at what it wouldn't necessarily like to do.


i read once that statistically, more straight people purchase sex toys and other 'marital aids' than lesbians.  they somehow pro-rated the statistic to make it an even comparison because, of course, there ARE more straight people so of course they would buy more sex toys.  so probably, the market for 'real' lesbian porn wouldn't seem to be as big as for gay porn, even if there were as many lesbians watching porn as there were gay men or straight people who watch gay porn of either sort.  but, that would then mean that, even if they were watching porn, lesbians would watch gay male or straight porn themselves by preference, since there seems to be no market for strictly 'real' lesbian porn.  i think i just confused myself.
I am a lesbian, but lesbian porn is so boring to me.
But, gay man porn is another thing.
Now, that's very attractive.
And I do think that men are hot, but I don't want to go out with them and have sex with them....
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on January 24, 2010, 05:57:43 AM
a thing that really pisses me off re:gayness is (at least it happens here in italy) how every straight person wants to make sure they're not mistaken for being gay.
and it's weird, even the most progressive and progay one are annoyed when somebody assumes they're gay, and they get very defensive.
they will say something pro-gay rights and add right after ''but i'm not gay''. who the fuck cares, really.
i get mistaken for a straight person all the same. people simply ASSUME i'm straight. always. so, straight people can't stand being mistaken as gay once or twice? pffff.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on January 24, 2010, 07:10:30 AM
a thing that really pisses me off re:gayness is (at least it happens here in italy) how every straight person wants to make sure they're not mistaken for being gay.
and it's weird, even the most progressive and progay one are annoyed when somebody assumes they're gay, and they get very defensive.
they will say something pro-gay rights and add right after ''but i'm not gay''. who the fuck cares, really.
i get mistaken for a straight person all the same. people simply ASSUME i'm straight. always. so, straight people can't stand being mistaken as gay once or twice? pffff.

I say we shouldn't stand for being mistaken as straight.
"What me? EWWWW good god no!"  :)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on January 24, 2010, 07:11:47 AM
a thing that really pisses me off re:gayness is (at least it happens here in italy) how every straight person wants to make sure they're not mistaken for being gay.
and it's weird, even the most progressive and progay one are annoyed when somebody assumes they're gay, and they get very defensive.
they will say something pro-gay rights and add right after ''but i'm not gay''. who the fuck cares, really.
i get mistaken for a straight person all the same. people simply ASSUME i'm straight. always. so, straight people can't stand being mistaken as gay once or twice? pffff.

I say we shouldn't stand for being mistaken as straight.
"What me? EWWWW good god no!"  :)
hahaha i'd love to do that
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Half Mar on January 24, 2010, 07:35:14 AM
a thing that really pisses me off re:gayness is (at least it happens here in italy) how every straight person wants to make sure they're not mistaken for being gay.
and it's weird, even the most progressive and progay one are annoyed when somebody assumes they're gay, and they get very defensive.
they will say something pro-gay rights and add right after ''but i'm not gay''. who the fuck cares, really.
i get mistaken for a straight person all the same. people simply ASSUME i'm straight. always. so, straight people can't stand being mistaken as gay once or twice? pffff.

I say we shouldn't stand for being mistaken as straight.
"What me? EWWWW good god no!"  :)
hahaha i'd love to do that

Hahaha, I second that.


Also; thanks Syl and Anna ;)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The King of Carrot Flowers on January 26, 2010, 11:42:46 PM
I say we shouldn't stand for being mistaken as straight.
"What me? EWWWW good god no!"  :)
If I could "like" this (a la Facebook) I would.

As for being mistaken as gay... I dunno. I don't like it when people assume I'm gay just 'cos I talk about how attractive I think x guy is, but I don't mind it as much as people assuming that a) because I'm bi, it means I'll fuck anything and everything or b) "bi" is code for "closet fag" (although I've sort of taken back "closet fag" as a term of endearment).
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on January 27, 2010, 11:39:42 AM
hmm....
i am bit confused

can you still be gay and sleep with woman?
cos, i know i am gay. i am a pretty stereotypical gay man boy, i cannot imagine myself with a woman.ever.
however, erm, i wouldn't really mind sleeping with a girl, even though i don't think there attractive. i get pretty horny watching straight porn now (maybe cos i am so used to watching gay porn and the straight porn is different, so it interests me? yada, yada, yada) is this just my hormones and shit cos i am going through puberty? or am i bi? or just fucked up xP ?



nobody is fucked up darling, don't worry.
you are indeed very young, so it might as well be the hormones.

re : the topic of gay people watching straight porn, and viceversa... i read a study conducted by scientists that said that mainly it is the sexual act per se that excites us. in this study they had shown how the majority of lesbians and homosexuals were sexually aroused by seeing a member of the opposite sex masturbating.

most porn sucks. the chicks in straight porn look awful, so fake and orange-tanned and stuff. not to mention lesbian porn, as it mainly targets heterosexual men. it's just unbearable to watch all those chicks with french manicure. ewww.

I know, those fake nails gotta hurt. Does lesbian porn exist with real dykes? I think the L word is as close as you can get.



Also, regarding my earlier post about Tru loved, the ending sucked. Too much spontaneous acceptance, unrealistic.
uhmm i'm not sure whether ''real'' lesbian porn exists, apart from the amateur-ish stuff.

it exists, there has been a smallish company or two try to make a market.......one in particular stands out, although i can't remember the name, but it is considered for the most part the best of a bad lot.

and, markerpen, you are not fucked up.  i know quite a few diehard lesbians who actually watch gay guy porn as porn, and i've been in plenty of relationships myself where there was any manner of sexuality on the porn shelf, although i'm pretty much exclusively lesbian.  sexuality's a fickle thing in your head, but your baser part of your mind will be pretty clear to you in the end what it does and doesn't want, even if it likes to look at what it wouldn't necessarily like to do.


i read once that statistically, more straight people purchase sex toys and other 'marital aids' than lesbians.  they somehow pro-rated the statistic to make it an even comparison because, of course, there ARE more straight people so of course they would buy more sex toys.  so probably, the market for 'real' lesbian porn wouldn't seem to be as big as for gay porn, even if there were as many lesbians watching porn as there were gay men or straight people who watch gay porn of either sort.  but, that would then mean that, even if they were watching porn, lesbians would watch gay male or straight porn themselves by preference, since there seems to be no market for strictly 'real' lesbian porn.  i think i just confused myself.
I am a lesbian, but lesbian porn is so boring to me.
But, gay man porn is another thing.
Now, that's very attractive.
And I do think that men are hot, but I don't want to go out with them and have sex with them....

Hmm. I like all the porns xD I mean, all the porns within my scope o' kink - scary hardcore leather-clab goat fucking really doesn't do it for me...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: [CPCTC]Mrs.Picklez on January 27, 2010, 12:02:56 PM
Mmm goat fucking... I mean... *cough*
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on January 27, 2010, 12:20:12 PM
Mmm goat fucking... I mean... *cough*

Nice save
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: imaginary friend on January 27, 2010, 12:47:53 PM
a quick recap: once there was a smug piece-of-shit evangelist named Ted Haggard. he used to spew the most ridiculous anti-gay bullshit imaginable (I believe he's actually in Jesus camp, btw)...until he got busted for repeated "sessions" with a male prostitute (named Mike Jones, which makes the story even funnier) and lost his gig. well, he went into a degayification program...and, according to his wife, it's a total success!  :D

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/35097496/ns/today-today_people&GT1=43001

 O0

#@!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on January 27, 2010, 12:57:03 PM
jesus, what a load of shit. you can't cure gayness.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: imaginary friend on January 27, 2010, 01:00:23 PM
in the words of Marcellus Wallace, "the world is full of unrealistic motherfuckers".  ;D

#@!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on January 27, 2010, 01:01:21 PM
in the words of Marcellus Wallace, "the world is full of unrealistic motherfuckers".  ;D

#@!

true that!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on January 27, 2010, 01:01:37 PM
jesus, what a load of shit. you can't cure gayness.
Not true. Hitler made a few strides in that direction
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on January 27, 2010, 01:03:47 PM
jesus, what a load of shit. you can't cure gayness.
Not true. Hitler made a few strides in that direction

not as a cure.  he'd just have had to do the same to the next generation; his logic was flawed as an exterminator.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on January 27, 2010, 01:07:21 PM
jesus, what a load of shit. you can't cure gayness.
Not true. Hitler made a few strides in that direction

not as a cure.  he'd just have had to do the same to the next generation; his logic was flawed as an exterminator.

dare you question the furer?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on January 27, 2010, 01:09:16 PM
jesus, what a load of shit. you can't cure gayness.
Not true. Hitler made a few strides in that direction

not as a cure.  he'd just have had to do the same to the next generation; his logic was flawed as an exterminator.

dare you question the furer?

the fuhrer isn't here to answer to questions, as per the usual coward's way out.  nor are his faithful remaining followers, most of which have never met him, around to enforce any sort of will on me, or even try.  so yeah, i totally dare.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on January 27, 2010, 01:12:30 PM
jesus, what a load of shit. you can't cure gayness.
Not true. Hitler made a few strides in that direction

not as a cure.  he'd just have had to do the same to the next generation; his logic was flawed as an exterminator.

dare you question the furer?

in boy in the striped pyjamas, the little boy calls him "the fury" which is sort of accurate
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on January 27, 2010, 01:13:55 PM
jesus, what a load of shit. you can't cure gayness.
Not true. Hitler made a few strides in that direction

not as a cure.  he'd just have had to do the same to the next generation; his logic was flawed as an exterminator.

dare you question the furer?

in boy in the striped pyjamas, the little boy calls him "the fury" which is sort of accurate

i wonder if fuhrer actually meant 'furry' and if hitler was actually the first furry.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on January 27, 2010, 01:57:09 PM
a quick recap: once there was a smug piece-of-shit evangelist named Ted Haggard. he used to spew the most ridiculous anti-gay bullshit imaginable (I believe he's actually in Jesus camp, btw)...until he got busted for repeated "sessions" with a male prostitute (named Mike Jones, which makes the story even funnier) and lost his gig. well, he went into a degayification program...and, according to his wife, it's a total success!  :D

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/35097496/ns/today-today_people&GT1=43001

 O0

#@!

X_X

my only comment is

http://www.youtube.com/v/X-dO65KLyYc&hl=it_IT&fs=1&
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on January 27, 2010, 02:03:43 PM
jesus, what a load of shit. you can't cure gayness.
Not true. Hitler made a few strides in that direction
not as a cure.  he'd just have had to do the same to the next generation; his logic was flawed as an exterminator.
dare you question the furer?
in boy in the striped pyjamas, the little boy calls him "the fury" which is sort of accurate
I wonder if fuhrer actually meant 'furry' and if hitler was actually the first furry.
It is widely believed that a number of 'Dolfie's inner circle were sorta-closeted homosexuals,
but after the SA was "purged" in 1934, and many of its members murdered, including Ernst Röhm,
head of the force, for (among other offenses) being homosexuals...  they decided that it might
be wise to keep it on the down low...


[SA, if ya don't know, was the original force of Nazi stormtroopers, the armed-force branch of the
party before they even took full control of government.  Wiki probably has a good article.]
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on January 27, 2010, 03:52:58 PM
jesus, what a load of shit. you can't cure gayness.
Not true. Hitler made a few strides in that direction
not as a cure.  he'd just have had to do the same to the next generation; his logic was flawed as an exterminator.
dare you question the furer?
in boy in the striped pyjamas, the little boy calls him "the fury" which is sort of accurate
I wonder if fuhrer actually meant 'furry' and if hitler was actually the first furry.
It is widely believed that a number of 'Dolfie's inner circle were sorta-closeted homosexuals,
but after the SA was "purged" in 1934, and many of its members murdered, including Ernst Röhm,
head of the force, for (among other offenses) being homosexuals...  they decided that it might
be wise to keep it on the down low...

I think I've heard of this: Was Ernst Röhm the little chubby guy?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on January 27, 2010, 04:33:03 PM
jesus, what a load of shit. you can't cure gayness.
Not true. Hitler made a few strides in that direction
not as a cure.  he'd just have had to do the same to the next generation; his logic was flawed as an exterminator.
dare you question the furer?
in boy in the striped pyjamas, the little boy calls him "the fury" which is sort of accurate
I wonder if fuhrer actually meant 'furry' and if hitler was actually the first furry.
It is widely believed that a number of 'Dolfie's inner circle were sorta-closeted homosexuals,
but after the SA was "purged" in 1934, and many of its members murdered, including Ernst Röhm,
head of the force, for (among other offenses) being homosexuals...  they decided that it might
be wise to keep it on the down low...
I think I've heard of this: Was Ernst Röhm the little chubby guy?
That's him...  or it was him anyway...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on January 27, 2010, 05:08:18 PM
jesus, what a load of shit. you can't cure gayness.
Not true. Hitler made a few strides in that direction
not as a cure.  he'd just have had to do the same to the next generation; his logic was flawed as an exterminator.
dare you question the furer?
in boy in the striped pyjamas, the little boy calls him "the fury" which is sort of accurate
I wonder if fuhrer actually meant 'furry' and if hitler was actually the first furry.
It is widely believed that a number of 'Dolfie's inner circle were sorta-closeted homosexuals,
but after the SA was "purged" in 1934, and many of its members murdered, including Ernst Röhm,
head of the force, for (among other offenses) being homosexuals...  they decided that it might
be wise to keep it on the down low...
I think I've heard of this: Was Ernst Röhm the little chubby guy?
That's him...  or it was him anyway...

Fat angry chubby baby :)

(http://projects.brg-schoren.ac.at/nationalsozialismus/frames/images/roehm.jpg)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: nottheonethatscrazy on January 27, 2010, 06:40:36 PM
a quick recap: once there was a smug piece-of-shit evangelist named Ted Haggard. he used to spew the most ridiculous anti-gay bullshit imaginable (I believe he's actually in Jesus camp, btw)...until he got busted for repeated "sessions" with a male prostitute (named Mike Jones, which makes the story even funnier) and lost his gig. well, he went into a degayification program...and, according to his wife, it's a total success!  :D

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/35097496/ns/today-today_people&GT1=43001

 O0

#@!

I saw Mr. Haggard and his wife on Oprah yesterday.
Yeah, he was having sex and taking meth with this male prostitute for three years until the prostitute figured out that Haggard spewed all this hypocritical BS condemning gay people, and the dude outed him.
[long sentence]
His wife stayed because she "loves him very deeply".
Haggard actually pleaded with his wife, telling her to leave him because he was "poison", but she stayed by his side.
I believe this was an attempt to go on living his secret gay life, without his wife in the way.
He now lives under the strict watch of his wife.
He calls her when he leaves any place and updates her regularly.
HE IS SO GAY.
But he won't admit it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on January 27, 2010, 06:43:34 PM
HE IS SO GAY.
But he won't admit it.

well, it goes against all of the beliefs he holds, he feels like he is letting himself down, his God, his wife, his followers, by feeling this way. we know different but for someone so immersed in that culture, it's a hard thing to accept about yourself. i mean, it's hard enough for those of us not surrounded by this immense pressure to be straight.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on January 27, 2010, 06:49:24 PM
also, a friend just posted this on facebook and i love it

"If homosexuality is a disease, lets all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer.""
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on January 27, 2010, 06:51:02 PM
also, a friend just posted this on facebook and i love it

"If homosexuality is a disease, lets all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer.""

I've heard that before, I love it.
Might have to take thursday off, think I'm coming down with homo.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pope Totalfrog on January 27, 2010, 06:52:53 PM
a quick recap: once there was a smug piece-of-shit evangelist named Ted Haggard. he used to spew the most ridiculous anti-gay bullshit imaginable (I believe he's actually in Jesus camp, btw)...until he got busted for repeated "sessions" with a male prostitute (named Mike Jones, which makes the story even funnier) and lost his gig. well, he went into a degayification program...and, according to his wife, it's a total success!  :D

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/35097496/ns/today-today_people&GT1=43001

 O0

#@!

I saw Mr. Haggard and his wife on Oprah yesterday.
Yeah, he was having sex and taking meth with this male prostitute for three years until the prostitute figured out that Haggard spewed all this hypocritical BS condemning gay people, and the dude outed him.
[long sentence]
His wife stayed because she "loves him very deeply".
Haggard actually pleaded with his wife, telling her to leave him because he was "poison", but she stayed by his side.
I believe this was an attempt to go on living his secret gay life, without his wife in the way.
He now lives under the strict watch of his wife.
He calls her when he leaves any place and updates her regularly.
HE IS SO GAY.
But he won't admit it.
Everyone knows he is gay. If he doesn't want to admit that he loves the cock then that is his problem. I have no doubt that he will slip up again, wifey can't track him all the time and when he does it will be a very bad day for the degayification movement (and therefore a good day for the rest of us who know that it is bullshit).
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: nottheonethatscrazy on January 27, 2010, 07:00:06 PM
HE IS SO GAY.
But he won't admit it.

well, it goes against all of the beliefs he holds, he feels like he is letting himself down, his God, his wife, his followers, by feeling this way. we know different but for someone so immersed in that culture, it's a hard thing to accept about yourself. i mean, it's hard enough for those of us not surrounded by this immense pressure to be straight.
Yeah, I was talking about this yesterday to somebody....
He keeps preaching against all of this, and he's just digging himself deeper into a hole of self-loathing and denial.
I think it's very scary sometimes to come out and say, "This is who I am.", especially in the kind of position he's in.
It would mean continuing what the sex scandal began and loosing his wife, his reputation, his friends, maybe his family....
There's a lot for him to loose, and I sort of feel sorry for the guy.
But I don't know if sitting on Oprah, smiling, and saying that you're a completely new heterosexual man, living a lie, and denying your very nature is easier than being who you are, and having the strength to stand up.
I suppose, for now, he's not strong enough to come out, and I wish that he can do so in the future.
All of this being said though, and understanding his position a little, I hate the hypocrisy.
Sometimes it makes me a little angry, and I don't think about all the things people like him probably feel, and why they do what they do.
And, I just don't like the idea of Ted Haggard implying that something as preposterous as conversion therapy actually works, and advocating it.

(and therefore a good day for the rest of us who know that it is bullshit).
Here, here!
Even though it's not necessarily nice, I look forward to the day that he inevitably slips up, and becomes further proof that conversion therapy is complete BS.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on January 28, 2010, 03:24:52 AM
also, a friend just posted this on facebook and i love it

"If homosexuality is a disease, lets all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer.""

Homosexuality may not be a disease, but I still sometimes think that people who fall in love with men are completely and utterly insane. Women and myself included.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on January 28, 2010, 04:41:13 AM
also, a friend just posted this on facebook and i love it

"If homosexuality is a disease, lets all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer.""

Homosexuality may not be a disease, but I still sometimes think that people who fall in love with men are completely and utterly insane. Women and myself included.

People who fall in love with women are also insane, but therein lies the fun!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Mette on January 31, 2010, 06:20:42 PM
Don't know if people are still doing this, but it seemed like a nice way to sort of introduce myself haha.

So, are you gay? Are you LGBT, undecided or other?
I'm a lesbian, however, I do believe I can never be 100% sure of my sexuality, so I don't go around saying I'll never be with a man. Lots can happen in the future and who knows, maybe I do meet some guy 5 years from now that just appeals to me so insanely much I want to jump him at that second.

Do you think these categories are useful or oppressive?
I'd say they can be useful, but they can also be abused, in a way. It's kind of like, if you define yourself and something happens, people might start bugging you because you now are something you said you weren't, if that makes sense? I don't mind people not liking labels or using labels, I just think we need a general respect for each other, no matter who we choose to share a bed and life with.

When did you first know you were gay?
when I was about 15 year old or so, but looking back, I was so so gay before that too.

Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
I'm finally OUT!!! Been out to my friends for years and years, some even knew back when I was 15, but late last year I finally had the courage (yeah right) to come out to my parents. (translation: my sister told them for me.) Now everything's fine, and I'm glad I finally got rid of that foot I had stuck inside the closet.

Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
Mom was insanely angry and hurt and cried and yelled and omg, it was horrible. Dad was fine with it. My brother was a bit like "wait, what? But.. she's not lesbian-looking.." and my sister originally thought it was a phase, but she realized soon enough that it wasn't. Friends have always been pretty supportive :)

What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?
Doesn't mean that much, it's just who I am. However, it does mean a lot to me to have the same rights as everyone else. I don't wear it at all, I'm still exactly who I used to be so it's just a part of me. I might come with a lot of nice comments about hot chicks and whatever, but that's just my personality and it always has been.

Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
Hmmm, I guess I sort of don't belong in a stereotype. And I like the girly girls, who are often straight.

Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
Definitely not as a conscious thing. I mean, I listen to Tegan and Sara and I watch a lot of gay movies, but I'm not into The Gossip like a lot of lesbians are and I probably like more "straight" music than "gay".

Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Not that I can think of.

Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Nope, just a few comments about gays in general from my mom before I came out.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Jo Just Go Nameless on February 03, 2010, 05:13:00 AM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8492597.stm

thought I'd just add this article into the mix...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Ryan James on February 03, 2010, 07:55:11 AM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8492597.stm

thought I'd just add this article into the mix...
(http://a.abcnews.com/images/Entertainment/apr_oconnor_ssh.jpg)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Wednesday Friday on February 03, 2010, 10:32:05 AM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8492597.stm

thought I'd just add this article into the mix...
(http://a.abcnews.com/images/Entertainment/apr_oconnor_ssh.jpg)

"FIGHT THE REAL ENEMY!". Word.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on February 03, 2010, 12:33:49 PM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8492597.stm

thought I'd just add this article into the mix...
It's all about head-count...

As the Anglican/Episcopal Church (-es) move more toward accepting homosexuality,
on top of previous horrors like female clergy, the Roman Catholic leadership figure
they can use that as a selling point to get converts back from among the more
"conservative" areas of the CofE (and related churches).
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on February 03, 2010, 12:53:34 PM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8492597.stm

thought I'd just add this article into the mix...
It's all about head-count...

As the Anglican/Episcopal Church (-es) move more toward accepting homosexuality,
on top of previous horrors like female clergy, the Roman Catholic leadership figure
they can use that as a selling point to get converts back from among the more
"conservative" areas of the CofE (and related churches).
Ah, gotta love the Episcopalians...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on February 04, 2010, 07:53:59 PM
i want to be out-er. i don't even know if one of my closest friends (she would rank at number 3.... after my 2 best friends) i've known for like, 7 years, knows that i'm gay.
i've talked to her extensively about my anti-homophobia project etc, and she seemed very openminded although she's more of a conservative....
but i wonder if she knows i'm gay. i've never told her straight out.
we just left the house of this very hot chick i haveo nly seen once in my life, and the ''who you need to fuck before you marry'' discussion came out.... so the hot girl asked this friend ''a woman?'' and she said naah, i dont think so, i can't say now but i really think not. hot girl said she probably wouldn't either.
i obviously shut up.
i hate that unless i'm with gay friends or friends who know about me, i have to shut up about kinky stuff. it kills me. it always looks like i'm this asexuated fatty.
 :'(
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on February 04, 2010, 07:54:29 PM
and i'mc more than slightyl drunk so i aologize ofr the various mispelling
s
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: stallionbreaker on February 04, 2010, 08:02:18 PM
I hug you, more than slightly drunk Sylvie. One of these days you'll be out and believe in your own hotness. <3
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Pliwood180 on February 04, 2010, 08:54:47 PM
I hug you, more than slightly drunk Sylvie. One of these days you'll be out and believe in your own hotness. <3
Couldn't have said it better myself!  ;D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on February 05, 2010, 04:36:10 AM
and i'mc more than slightyl drunk so i aologize ofr the various mispelling
s

I love you.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on February 05, 2010, 05:37:22 AM
oh my god, my drunk posts are sooo sad.  :embarassed:
<3
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: buttercup. on February 05, 2010, 04:41:34 PM
Next time just drunk-buy a ticket to California.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on February 08, 2010, 03:35:15 PM
oh my god, my drunk posts are sooo sad.  :embarassed:
<3

They're better than some drunk posts. I believe I told Roisin to "get a better legibler" at one point.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on February 08, 2010, 03:56:38 PM
oh my god, my drunk posts are sooo sad.  :embarassed:
<3

They're better than some drunk posts. I believe I told Roisin to "get a better legibler" at one point.

OMG I remember that! hahaha
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on February 09, 2010, 06:26:08 PM
(http://museumvictoria.com.au/collections/itemimages/197/738/197738_large.jpg) :love5:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on February 09, 2010, 06:59:25 PM
and i'mc more than slightyl drunk so i aologize ofr the various mispelling
s

I love the whole drunken typing thing.  I realised a way to describe it.  It's not that you are incapable of typing properly, it is that you are so pissed you don't care.  I remember trying to type something whilst drunk and at first it was perfectly fine, typing verrrrry slowly.  When in fact, drunken typing is really just trying to type faster than you really can.  this coudlb e descrived as beign druenkn typing, but really I was just trying to type faster than usual.  My though processes are usually 'type slowly sarah', then 'oh fuck it, just do it, i want to get this done and go drink more'. Anyway, rant over.
yeah, i sort of realize i'm making mispellings, but i can't be bothered to correct them.
i liked your rant  ;D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The Epigrammic Poultry on February 10, 2010, 08:15:43 AM
and i'mc more than slightyl drunk so i aologize ofr the various mispelling
s

I love the whole drunken typing thing.  I realised a way to describe it.  It's not that you are incapable of typing properly, it is that you are so pissed you don't care.  I remember trying to type something whilst drunk and at first it was perfectly fine, typing verrrrry slowly.  When in fact, drunken typing is really just trying to type faster than you really can.  this coudlb e descrived as beign druenkn typing, but really I was just trying to type faster than usual.  My though processes are usually 'type slowly sarah', then 'oh fuck it, just do it, i want to get this done and go drink more'. Anyway, rant over.

A few weeks ago, I realised that when drunk, I'm actually far more articulate and skilled at BBCode...
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: . on February 17, 2010, 09:09:27 PM
At my new job there are 4-5 other gay ladies and gents on staff. It has always been that the vast majority of my friends are straight, so I'm really enjoying spending time properly socialising with other gay people. I like it :) Have also found that I like having older lesbian role models to look up to.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: quantuminsanity on February 18, 2010, 05:31:52 AM
I don't think labels are particularly useful. I am attracted to the person, gender is somewhat irrelevant.  It just so happens that more of them are male than female, but it doesn't matter to me which.

I suppose if someone is absolutely sure they will never be attracted to the opposite sex, or the same sex, then the label of gay or straight fits, but why limit yourself? And why is there the need to define it?

I forgot what the other part of the question was, sorry.  It's a bit late at night here. :D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Edric. on February 28, 2010, 09:30:25 PM
my parents always ask me if i'm gay, or tell me that i'm gay, but i never say anything.
i haven't really applied a label to myself.
peaches said it the easiest, "i don't have to make a choice: i like girls and i like boys".
http://www.youtube.com/v/zaJIb6dDNnk&hl=en_US&fs=1&
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: overratedtoejam on February 28, 2010, 09:34:53 PM
my parents always ask me if i'm gay, or tell me that i'm gay, but i never say anything.
i haven't really applied a label to myself.
peaches said it the easiest, "i don't have to make a choice: i like girls and i like boys".
http://www.youtube.com/v/zaJIb6dDNnk&hl=en_US&fs=1&

i think you should go to your parents, tell them you need to talk about something important, and blast this song.

peaches = amazing.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: The King of Carrot Flowers on March 07, 2010, 12:07:45 AM
I'm gay now.


...Mmmyep.

Well, technically I suppose I've always been, but I'm cognizant of it now.

Woot.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Wednesday Friday on March 07, 2010, 02:03:11 AM
^ congrats.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on March 07, 2010, 06:23:50 AM
I'm gay now.


...Mmmyep.

Well, technically I suppose I've always been, but I'm cognizant of it now.

Woot.
yay welcome in the club!  :love5:
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Agonistes on March 07, 2010, 07:17:39 AM
well done.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on March 07, 2010, 11:03:03 AM
Just so's y'all know, our new Governor, Boob, uh Bob McDonnell, and our Attorney
General, Ken Cuccinelli, have asked Virginians to post signs at all borders pointing
out that God hates you homos, and we really don't want your tourist dollars, nor,
if it means having more of you people, do we want your companies coming here to
create new jobs.  Just FYI.

I hear Maryland is okay with your kind; maybe you should go there.



(Oh, and straight women, Bob also wants to remind you that you should be married and
pregnant by now.)

Click here for The Latest News (http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/columnists_news/article/MIKE04_20100303-221005/328212/) from our Capitol.  (...and no, I most certainly did not vote for this asshat.)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on March 07, 2010, 11:08:18 AM
^ What about me? Should I be married and pregnant, or flipping you the Vs from Maryland? I wish those damn homophobes would stop leaving the bisexuals out, it's just fucking rude.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on March 07, 2010, 11:15:23 AM
^ What about me? Should I be married and pregnant, or flipping you the Vs from Maryland? I wish those damn homophobes would stop leaving the bisexuals out, it's just fucking rude.
Well, Maryland was originally set up to allow Catholics and other degenerates to come
from England without actually polluting our Virginia air....
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on March 07, 2010, 02:45:29 PM
^ What about me? Should I be married and pregnant, or flipping you the Vs from Maryland? I wish those damn homophobes would stop leaving the bisexuals out, it's just fucking rude.
Well, Maryland was originally set up to allow Catholics and other degenerates to come
from England without actually polluting our Virginia air....

And they have cookies there! ...right??

Aren't there two Virginias? And one of them only started existing like five minutes ago?

On a vaguely related note, if I ever meet you, remind me to recite the states in alphabetical order.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: FrailAndBedazzled on March 07, 2010, 02:59:17 PM
West Virginia became a state in 1863.  So not that new.  But yeah, we have a spare Virginia, even if it was hollowed out by coalminers.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Indja on March 07, 2010, 03:06:15 PM
^ ...not that new? That's a fuck of a lot newer than I thought. American concepts of "new" suck xD Where are your CELTS?!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: FrailAndBedazzled on March 07, 2010, 04:14:29 PM
the thing is, if you count that as new, then what do you call the fifteen states admitted to the US after West Virginia?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Cirque on March 07, 2010, 04:21:42 PM
the thing is, if you count that as new, then what do you call the fifteen states admitted to the US after West Virginia?

I call that 'The coming week'
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: imaginary friend on March 07, 2010, 04:29:26 PM
kid kicked out of a catholic preschool for having 2 mommies:  http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/wire/sns-ap-us-catholics-gay-parents,0,7661246.story

I'd love to see these dildos kick out the kids of parents who are using birth control. all you would see in the hallways would be tumbleweeds.

#@!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on March 07, 2010, 04:55:59 PM
kid kicked out of a catholic preschool for having 2 mommies:  http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/wire/sns-ap-us-catholics-gay-parents,0,7661246.story

I'd love to see these dildos kick out the kids of parents who are using birth control. all you would see in the hallways would be tumbleweeds.

#@!
well honestly, i really do not understand how can a lesbian couple want to send their child to a catholic school  :embarassed:

i was brought up a catholic, and i used to go to church every sunday but i don't anymore out of personal integrity. they're so full of bias and hate. it's ridiculous.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Half Mar on March 07, 2010, 05:02:30 PM
I have no idea why, but lately I feel the urge to come out to my mother. I might... soon.... when I find the right moment for it.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on March 07, 2010, 05:07:21 PM
umpf, i was supposed to go to this lame gay night on tuesday, but they're having ''cultural night'' and the hosts are a parents of gay people association. errrr no thanks.
so i'm going to wait for a silly normal gay night next week. but i sort of wanted to go on tuesday, PFFFF.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: overratedtoejam on March 07, 2010, 05:13:01 PM
umpf, i was supposed to go to this lame gay night on tuesday, but they're having ''cultural night'' and the hosts are a parents of gay people association. errrr no thanks.
so i'm going to wait for a silly normal gay night next week. but i sort of wanted to go on tuesday, PFFFF.

take a boat to lesbos island.

the lesboat!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Vinny on March 07, 2010, 05:21:53 PM
I have no idea why, but lately I feel the urge to come out to my mother. I might... soon.... when I find the right moment for it.

I'm sure someone has given you this advice already, but try and see if your mom is an open-minded person. How does she react to other people's homo/bisexualities? Does she scream in delight when Ellen is on or does she scream with terror? Also, I'd recommend seeing if there's a friend you can stay with for a couple of days if things don't go as you wish. Just to give your mom time clear her mind off, if necessary.

Other than that, good luck. And no, I wasn't trying to put you off doing it, I'm just not what you'd call an optimist. ;)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Half Mar on March 07, 2010, 05:51:14 PM
I have no idea why, but lately I feel the urge to come out to my mother. I might... soon.... when I find the right moment for it.

I'm sure someone has given you this advice already, but try and see if your mom is an open-minded person. How does she react to other people's homo/bisexualities? Does she scream in delight when Ellen is on or does she scream with terror? Also, I'd recommend seeing if there's a friend you can stay with for a couple of days if things don't go as you wish. Just to give your mom time clear her mind off, if necessary.

Other than that, good luck. And no, I wasn't trying to put you off doing it, I'm just not what you'd call an optimist. ;)

Haha thanks. My mom is pretty open-minded about it, and I am sure she has no problem with me liking girls. She only thinks that bisexuality is somewhat odd... and let me happen to like girls, but also guys. So that does scare me a bit. But I'm sure she will accept it, as long as I am happy. If it's with a guy, or a girl, it doesn't matter. And she even said that one time, literally. I'm just a bit scared to actually take the step and tell it. But I'm getting a bit tired of hiding it too.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: slyvia k on March 07, 2010, 06:24:42 PM
I have no idea why, but lately I feel the urge to come out to my mother. I might... soon.... when I find the right moment for it.

I'm sure someone has given you this advice already, but try and see if your mom is an open-minded person. How does she react to other people's homo/bisexualities? Does she scream in delight when Ellen is on or does she scream with terror? Also, I'd recommend seeing if there's a friend you can stay with for a couple of days if things don't go as you wish. Just to give your mom time clear her mind off, if necessary.

Other than that, good luck. And no, I wasn't trying to put you off doing it, I'm just not what you'd call an optimist. ;)

Haha thanks. My mom is pretty open-minded about it, and I am sure she has no problem with me liking girls. She only thinks that bisexuality is somewhat odd... and let me happen to like girls, but also guys. So that does scare me a bit. But I'm sure she will accept it, as long as I am happy. If it's with a guy, or a girl, it doesn't matter. And she even said that one time, literally. I'm just a bit scared to actually take the step and tell it. But I'm getting a bit tired of hiding it too.
just do it darling  :)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Vinny on March 07, 2010, 06:28:44 PM
I have no idea why, but lately I feel the urge to come out to my mother. I might... soon.... when I find the right moment for it.

I'm sure someone has given you this advice already, but try and see if your mom is an open-minded person. How does she react to other people's homo/bisexualities? Does she scream in delight when Ellen is on or does she scream with terror? Also, I'd recommend seeing if there's a friend you can stay with for a couple of days if things don't go as you wish. Just to give your mom time clear her mind off, if necessary.

Other than that, good luck. And no, I wasn't trying to put you off doing it, I'm just not what you'd call an optimist. ;)

Haha thanks. My mom is pretty open-minded about it, and I am sure she has no problem with me liking girls. She only thinks that bisexuality is somewhat odd... and let me happen to like girls, but also guys. So that does scare me a bit. But I'm sure she will accept it, as long as I am happy. If it's with a guy, or a girl, it doesn't matter. And she even said that one time, literally. I'm just a bit scared to actually take the step and tell it. But I'm getting a bit tired of hiding it too.
just do it darling  :)


I agree with Sylvia. Especially when you say your mom is open-minded and has practically told you she doesn't care if you're gay, bi or straight.

The feeling of being your true selves without ever having to hide any parts of who you are to people as important and loved as family or friends is priceless. When I came out to my parents, even if my mom's reaction wasn't ideal, I felt much better afterwards. To me, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest.

Nothing is better than having an honest relationship with your loved ones and yourself. :)
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: CeeGBee on March 07, 2010, 10:21:09 PM
I have no idea why, but lately I feel the urge to come out to my mother. I might... soon.... when I find the right moment for it.

I'm sure someone has given you this advice already, but try and see if your mom is an open-minded person. How does she react to other people's homo/bisexualities? Does she scream in delight when Ellen is on or does she scream with terror? Also, I'd recommend seeing if there's a friend you can stay with for a couple of days if things don't go as you wish. Just to give your mom time clear her mind off, if necessary.

Other than that, good luck. And no, I wasn't trying to put you off doing it, I'm just not what you'd call an optimist. ;)

Haha thanks. My mom is pretty open-minded about it, and I am sure she has no problem with me liking girls. She only thinks that bisexuality is somewhat odd... and let me happen to like girls, but also guys. So that does scare me a bit. But I'm sure she will accept it, as long as I am happy. If it's with a guy, or a girl, it doesn't matter. And she even said that one time, literally. I'm just a bit scared to actually take the step and tell it. But I'm getting a bit tired of hiding it too.
just do it darling  :)


I agree with Sylvia. Especially when you say your mom is open-minded and has practically told you she doesn't care if you're gay, bi or straight.

The feeling of being your true selves without ever having to hide any parts of who you are to people as important and loved as family or friends is priceless. When I came out to my parents, even if my mom's reaction wasn't ideal, I felt much better afterwards. To me, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest.

Nothing is better than having an honest relationship with your loved ones and yourself. :)

Mar:  Mom, have a seat...   

        Okay, this may come as a shock, but it's important to me to get this
        out in the open, and I'm absolutely sure about it....


        I'm gay.


Mom: Yes I know...  So what's this important thing you wanted to tell me?
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Half Mar on March 08, 2010, 09:02:20 AM
I have no idea why, but lately I feel the urge to come out to my mother. I might... soon.... when I find the right moment for it.

I'm sure someone has given you this advice already, but try and see if your mom is an open-minded person. How does she react to other people's homo/bisexualities? Does she scream in delight when Ellen is on or does she scream with terror? Also, I'd recommend seeing if there's a friend you can stay with for a couple of days if things don't go as you wish. Just to give your mom time clear her mind off, if necessary.

Other than that, good luck. And no, I wasn't trying to put you off doing it, I'm just not what you'd call an optimist. ;)

Haha thanks. My mom is pretty open-minded about it, and I am sure she has no problem with me liking girls. She only thinks that bisexuality is somewhat odd... and let me happen to like girls, but also guys. So that does scare me a bit. But I'm sure she will accept it, as long as I am happy. If it's with a guy, or a girl, it doesn't matter. And she even said that one time, literally. I'm just a bit scared to actually take the step and tell it. But I'm getting a bit tired of hiding it too.
just do it darling  :)


I agree with Sylvia. Especially when you say your mom is open-minded and has practically told you she doesn't care if you're gay, bi or straight.

The feeling of being your true selves without ever having to hide any parts of who you are to people as important and loved as family or friends is priceless. When I came out to my parents, even if my mom's reaction wasn't ideal, I felt much better afterwards. To me, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest.

Nothing is better than having an honest relationship with your loved ones and yourself. :)

Mar:  Mom, have a seat...   

        Okay, this may come as a shock, but it's important to me to get this
        out in the open, and I'm absolutely sure about it....


        I'm gay.


Mom: Yes I know...  So what's this important thing you wanted to tell me?

Haha, the scary thing is.... I can totally see that happen ;D
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Captain Oblivious on March 08, 2010, 09:45:30 AM
I have no idea why, but lately I feel the urge to come out to my mother. I might... soon.... when I find the right moment for it.

I'm sure someone has given you this advice already, but try and see if your mom is an open-minded person. How does she react to other people's homo/bisexualities? Does she scream in delight when Ellen is on or does she scream with terror? Also, I'd recommend seeing if there's a friend you can stay with for a couple of days if things don't go as you wish. Just to give your mom time clear her mind off, if necessary.

Other than that, good luck. And no, I wasn't trying to put you off doing it, I'm just not what you'd call an optimist. ;)

Haha thanks. My mom is pretty open-minded about it, and I am sure she has no problem with me liking girls. She only thinks that bisexuality is somewhat odd... and let me happen to like girls, but also guys. So that does scare me a bit. But I'm sure she will accept it, as long as I am happy. If it's with a guy, or a girl, it doesn't matter. And she even said that one time, literally. I'm just a bit scared to actually take the step and tell it. But I'm getting a bit tired of hiding it too.
just do it darling  :)


I agree with Sylvia. Especially when you say your mom is open-minded and has practically told you she doesn't care if you're gay, bi or straight.

The feeling of being your true selves without ever having to hide any parts of who you are to people as important and loved as family or friends is priceless. When I came out to my parents, even if my mom's reaction wasn't ideal, I felt much better afterwards. To me, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest.

Nothing is better than having an honest relationship with your loved ones and yourself. :)

Mar:  Mom, have a seat...   

        Okay, this may come as a shock, but it's important to me to get this
        out in the open, and I'm absolutely sure about it....


        I'm gay.


Mom: Yes I know...  So what's this important thing you wanted to tell me?

Haha, the scary thing is.... I can totally see that happen ;D

Scary? Surely that's a cause for celebration!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: imaginary friend on March 09, 2010, 11:36:03 AM
I love it when this shit happens:  http://www.alternet.org/sex/145964/conservative_hall_of_shame%3A_8_anti-gay_politicians_and_demagogues_who_got_caught_having_gay_sex

 ;D

#@!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: Andy Pants on March 10, 2010, 12:37:14 AM
I love it when this shit happens:  http://www.alternet.org/sex/145964/conservative_hall_of_shame%3A_8_anti-gay_politicians_and_demagogues_who_got_caught_having_gay_sex

 ;D

#@!

Ashburn said “Our friends and neighbors in our community are restating the obvious – that the institute of marriage is fundamental to our society. Marriage between one man and one woman is fundamental to civilization.”

Hahaha, I love this theory. So if gay marriage were made legitimate everyone would just marry members of the same sex, refuse to have children, the population would stop growing and it would be the END OF CIVILISATION ITSELF!? Makes sense.
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: imaginary friend on March 11, 2010, 01:06:34 PM
prom canceled because some girl wants to bring her gf:  http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2010-03-10-noprom_N.htm?csp=hf

proms = bullshit, anyway, but gotDAMN, already - it's 2thousandfuckinTEN!  :bs:

#@!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: FrailAndBedazzled on March 11, 2010, 01:10:15 PM
^That's one of the reasons I loved my high school.  Teacher, student, administrator, no one gave a shit about sexuality.  The general idea was "As long as you are not getting hot'n'heavy IN the school, it really doesn't concern us as long as your grades don't suffer".  I came to most of my high school dances with boys.  The only comment I ever got was from my guidance counselor who remarked that she liked my sophomore year Winter Formal date better than the freshman one because "he just seems like a better fit for you."
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: imaginary friend on March 11, 2010, 01:11:56 PM
^That's one of the reasons I loved my high school.  Teacher, student, administrator, no one gave a shit about sexuality.  The general idea was "As long as you are not getting hot'n'heavy IN the school, it really doesn't concern us as long as your grades don't suffer".  I came to most of my high school dances with boys.  The only comment I ever got was from my guidance counselor who remarked that she liked my sophomore year Winter Formal date better than the freshman one because "he just seems like a better fit for you."

was she actually right, or was it yet more senseless verbal spewage by a guidance counselor?  ;D

#@!
Title: Re: Gayness
Post by: FrailAndBedazzled on March 11, 2010, 01:15:56 PM
^That's one of the reasons I loved my high school.  Teacher, student, administrator, no one gave a shit about sexuality.  The general idea was "As long as you are not getting hot'n'heavy IN the school, it really doesn't concern us as long as your grades don't suffer".&nbs