you're going to perform the wedding? so you're a tattoo artist AND a minister?
When I hear that people are getting married I have all kinds of thoughts and feelings. i am experiencing your post right now.
I get a sense that something novel is happening mixed with a surreal kind of bafflement. (If I’m told to my face I also get a sense of dread that I’m expected to say something). After the shock/surprise, I begin to hope that they don’t want to talk to me about the planning at any point in the next several months…
Next I start to wonder about what it all means and why I can’t even begin to imagine what it must take for people to want to get married. Eventually I rationalise it with: “ It’s a sign of their commitment to each other and it means something to them even if I don’t understand it.”
Then I tend to get broody about all the things that people believe are highly symbolic that to me just look like veneers for life signposts that people want to find in their later years (my Sartre Nausea moment perhaps).
After a while I get used to the idea but I will get a recurring sickness whenever I hear about the amount of money that has been spent.
my stepdaughter just spent something like five grand of her father's money to get married in spring. she and her fiancee can't afford to pay their rent nor keep the lights on without borrowing cash from her mom (or me), but she's having this enormous fairybook wedding, which her dad, who won't even peel a couple bucks off his wallet to fix her car, is WILLINGLY PAYING FOR. i don't really understand the logic of this, nor why i have agreed to perform the ceremony, but i think the best part is going to be when her dad realizes his ex wife has been hooked up with women for the past sixteen years. how they can live in the same town and him not realize this yet is beyond me (it's not like we are in the closet, everybody knows me) but, whatever.
i understand the concept of marriage just fine, but i do not understand the heterosexual methodology of becoming wed. i mean, i said a vow in front of a few people and handed off a ring. this is something different entirely; not to mention the daughter in question thinks we, at some point, will do this same wedding thing, since she feels we got 'cheated' out of one, somehow.
yep, a former apprentice of mine asked me about two months ago if i would do the sermon at his and his wife's ten-year anniversary re-commitment ceremony next year on halloween (they got married a year before i apprenticed him, omg. i remember because he borrowed my armor to wear with his kilt). so i said, okay sure (although i hate speaking in public), and my stepdaughter, who was sitting there, asked immediately if i could 'marry' herself with her fiancee, i think in march of this year they have it scheduled. so, laptop ever near, i jumped online and got ordained as a universal life church minister, even blowing twenty bucks for the purty certificate which is hanging next to my state and county tattoo license at the shop. a couple of weeks ago i checked with the county clerk's office, where i have to pay a fee to become legally licensed, and then yep, i'm gonna marry them. which reminds me i need to buy a black suit, the only one i have is for going out and not for church.
funny thing; my stepdaughter's father has no idea that i exist at all, much less am his ex wife's girlfriend. unless she finds a way to tell him, he will probably meet me at the rehearsal dinner.
mom would have been proud. she actually WAS a priest (episcopal). although she actually did seminary. i just did college and some master's courses, but not in theology. incidentally, if anyone knows of a nicely written, less than ten minute, non denominational ritual, please feel free to send it my way.