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[CeeGBee]

I refuse to be this sort of mother.

Luckily, a quick scan of my current family reassures me that, unless something horrible goes on with my daddy-choosing, I should be pretty set xD As my cousin Hesther is fond of saying, We Owens Is GORGEOUS.

Really "Hesther"... which I would guess is a cool varian of Esther (very old-Testament)....
..or didja miss a key typing "Heather" (a favourite name for me)?

Either way, you'll change yer tune when yer little gets involved with a shallow little
tramp who only sees his good looks, and doesn't recognize all the special traits that make
him your perfect son...

[Indja]

HESTHER. She's SCOTTISH. And LOUD.

[quantuminsanity]

I don't understand why people want to get married either, and no one has ever been able to give me an answer that makes sense to me.  But I also don't get why people want children, or how people can believe in god, or plenty other things.  But I can understand that they do and that for them it's a real desire.  So I can be perfectly happy for them and just realise that what I want is not what everyone wants. 

I'm sure people who want to get married don't understand why someone Wouldn't want to get married, and I'm sure they feel just as strongly about it as I feel the opposite. 

[J_Beck]

I don't understand why people want to get married either, and no one has ever been able to give me an answer that makes sense to me.  But I also don't get why people want children, or how people can believe in god, or plenty other things.  But I can understand that they do and that for them it's a real desire.  So I can be perfectly happy for them and just realise that what I want is not what everyone wants. 

I'm sure people who want to get married don't understand why someone Wouldn't want to get married, and I'm sure they feel just as strongly about it as I feel the opposite. 

If you are in a committed relationship lasting many years why not get married and enjoy the legal benefits of that status?

Also I have no issues with getting married probably will some day but I see why people wouldn't want to.  With half breaking up and the mess that happens after it makes sense they would like to avoid divorce.  Of course now there is common law marriage now which can even result in alimony payments so the advantages of missing out on all that legal drama is not so big anymore.

[quantuminsanity]

I don't understand why people want to get married either, and no one has ever been able to give me an answer that makes sense to me.  But I also don't get why people want children, or how people can believe in god, or plenty other things.  But I can understand that they do and that for them it's a real desire.  So I can be perfectly happy for them and just realise that what I want is not what everyone wants. 

I'm sure people who want to get married don't understand why someone Wouldn't want to get married, and I'm sure they feel just as strongly about it as I feel the opposite. 

If you are in a committed relationship lasting many years why not get married and enjoy the legal benefits of that status?

Also I have no issues with getting married probably will some day but I see why people wouldn't want to.  With half breaking up and the mess that happens after it makes sense they would like to avoid divorce.  Of course now there is common law marriage now which can even result in alimony payments so the advantages of missing out on all that legal drama is not so big anymore.

I live in New Zealand where there are no legal benefits that you don't also get from being in a de facto relationship (together for more than 2 years)

Legal benefits seem like a bit of a.... selfish reason to get married to me...

[Breschau]

Legal benefits seem like a bit of a.... selfish reason to get married to me...

Most decisions in life tend to boil down to (or at the very least include) selfish reasons.  It's only really a bad thing when you're harming (or maybe not helping when you could) someone else in the process.

[J_Beck]

I don't understand why people want to get married either, and no one has ever been able to give me an answer that makes sense to me.  But I also don't get why people want children, or how people can believe in god, or plenty other things.  But I can understand that they do and that for them it's a real desire.  So I can be perfectly happy for them and just realise that what I want is not what everyone wants. 

I'm sure people who want to get married don't understand why someone Wouldn't want to get married, and I'm sure they feel just as strongly about it as I feel the opposite. 

If you are in a committed relationship lasting many years why not get married and enjoy the legal benefits of that status?

Also I have no issues with getting married probably will some day but I see why people wouldn't want to.  With half breaking up and the mess that happens after it makes sense they would like to avoid divorce.  Of course now there is common law marriage now which can even result in alimony payments so the advantages of missing out on all that legal drama is not so big anymore.

I live in New Zealand where there are no legal benefits that you don't also get from being in a de facto relationship (together for more than 2 years)

Legal benefits seem like a bit of a.... selfish reason to get married to me...

So in a relationship of more than 2 years (I take it this means living together) is there a "divorce".  If so why not throw a party and get married?

Also if you know this person is "the one" then why not get married?

[quantuminsanity]

I don't understand why people want to get married either, and no one has ever been able to give me an answer that makes sense to me.  But I also don't get why people want children, or how people can believe in god, or plenty other things.  But I can understand that they do and that for them it's a real desire.  So I can be perfectly happy for them and just realise that what I want is not what everyone wants. 

I'm sure people who want to get married don't understand why someone Wouldn't want to get married, and I'm sure they feel just as strongly about it as I feel the opposite. 

If you are in a committed relationship lasting many years why not get married and enjoy the legal benefits of that status?

Also I have no issues with getting married probably will some day but I see why people wouldn't want to.  With half breaking up and the mess that happens after it makes sense they would like to avoid divorce.  Of course now there is common law marriage now which can even result in alimony payments so the advantages of missing out on all that legal drama is not so big anymore.

I live in New Zealand where there are no legal benefits that you don't also get from being in a de facto relationship (together for more than 2 years)

Legal benefits seem like a bit of a.... selfish reason to get married to me...

So in a relationship of more than 2 years (I take it this means living together) is there a "divorce".  If so why not throw a party and get married?

Also if you know this person is "the one" then why not get married?

Because I don't see the point.  If I know someone is "the one" then why get married? They are already the one. Getting married is not going to make me love them more, or make them somehow more "the one".

[J_Beck]

I don't understand why people want to get married either, and no one has ever been able to give me an answer that makes sense to me.  But I also don't get why people want children, or how people can believe in god, or plenty other things.  But I can understand that they do and that for them it's a real desire.  So I can be perfectly happy for them and just realise that what I want is not what everyone wants. 

I'm sure people who want to get married don't understand why someone Wouldn't want to get married, and I'm sure they feel just as strongly about it as I feel the opposite. 

If you are in a committed relationship lasting many years why not get married and enjoy the legal benefits of that status?

Also I have no issues with getting married probably will some day but I see why people wouldn't want to.  With half breaking up and the mess that happens after it makes sense they would like to avoid divorce.  Of course now there is common law marriage now which can even result in alimony payments so the advantages of missing out on all that legal drama is not so big anymore.

I live in New Zealand where there are no legal benefits that you don't also get from being in a de facto relationship (together for more than 2 years)

Legal benefits seem like a bit of a.... selfish reason to get married to me...

So in a relationship of more than 2 years (I take it this means living together) is there a "divorce".  If so why not throw a party and get married?

Also if you know this person is "the one" then why not get married?

Because I don't see the point.  If I know someone is "the one" then why get married? They are already the one. Getting married is not going to make me love them more, or make them somehow more "the one".

It doesn't, I just think of it as a celebration of that fact. 

[quantuminsanity]

I don't understand why people want to get married either, and no one has ever been able to give me an answer that makes sense to me.  But I also don't get why people want children, or how people can believe in god, or plenty other things.  But I can understand that they do and that for them it's a real desire.  So I can be perfectly happy for them and just realise that what I want is not what everyone wants. 

I'm sure people who want to get married don't understand why someone Wouldn't want to get married, and I'm sure they feel just as strongly about it as I feel the opposite. 

If you are in a committed relationship lasting many years why not get married and enjoy the legal benefits of that status?

Also I have no issues with getting married probably will some day but I see why people wouldn't want to.  With half breaking up and the mess that happens after it makes sense they would like to avoid divorce.  Of course now there is common law marriage now which can even result in alimony payments so the advantages of missing out on all that legal drama is not so big anymore.

I live in New Zealand where there are no legal benefits that you don't also get from being in a de facto relationship (together for more than 2 years)

Legal benefits seem like a bit of a.... selfish reason to get married to me...

So in a relationship of more than 2 years (I take it this means living together) is there a "divorce".  If so why not throw a party and get married?

Also if you know this person is "the one" then why not get married?

Because I don't see the point.  If I know someone is "the one" then why get married? They are already the one. Getting married is not going to make me love them more, or make them somehow more "the one".

It doesn't, I just think of it as a celebration of that fact. 

Well that's great, but I just personally feel I can celebrate just as well without spending money or signing papers

[quantuminsanity]

Also to me marriage feels a little bit like you're trying to prove to the outside world that you're in love, and it shouldn't need proving.

[Rob]

It feels nothing like that.

[Morpheus Laughing]

Related to marriage:

I don’t like the words “husband” and “wife” but especially “wife”. Why is that? I’ve been trying to figure that out. The best I can come up with is that it’s the vestigial childhood idea that those words are used for “old” people.   

[Rob]

You'll get there...

[J_Beck]

Also to me marriage feels a little bit like you're trying to prove to the outside world that you're in love, and it shouldn't need proving.

Rob's comment is very important and as for my own experience I was about as far away from your idea of marriage as possible.  I lived with my ex-girlfriend for 2 years and while there was no ring on her finger we found the size and were already doing basic planning.  Now I am highly against marrying someone without living with them for an extended period, that being a good example why (luckily not a bad break up though and we are still on good terms) but the step of marriage is not "trying to prove" anything.

May I ask what has brought you to that opinion of marriage?