Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[VipersGratitude]

The Romantic
It is a formal expression of symbiotic commitment.

The Realist
Although that word, "commitment" seems to have become interchangable with the word "marriage" itself. In my eyes marriage is the lovey-dovey happily ever after fairytale; Whereas commitment is the dedication to that fairytale once the harsh realities of interpersonal dynamics kick in.

The Cynic
Convenient pussy/dick

The Pragmatist
Death is nature's agent of change. Right now you are new (or new-ish), but soon you, and your ideas, will be increasingly  old, stagnant, and irrelevant. Then it will be the next generation's turn to give the world the dynamism that only youth and naivety can bring. Marriage is a complimentary solution to that inescapable ebb and flow of life. Both children and the acquisition of resources consume our most precious commodity - time. To invest in one is to compromise the other,that is of course, unless you have a commited life-partner to counterbalance your investment in either (Note - stereotypical gender roles not entrenched).

[buttercup.]

I see marriage as a form of slavery. No thanks, bub.

[CeeGBee]

I see marriage as a form of slavery. No thanks, bub.

What, you don't want someone to do your every bidding and wait on you hand and foot?

[MeAndMyCharms]

Marriage means never having the bed to yourself again.
I'd have to have separate bedrooms, with the occasional sleepover, because I'm just not cool with that

[buttercup.]

I see marriage as a form of slavery. No thanks, bub.

What, you don't want someone to do your every bidding and wait on you hand and foot?

I'd rather I help them, they help me, love and all that jazz.

[The Angel Raliel]

also marriage is a really good way of getting some cool presents...starting family fights.... getting a holiday paid for by your parents/her parents/his parents

[Rob]

I see marriage as a form of slavery. No thanks, bub.

What, you don't want someone to do your every bidding and wait on you hand and foot?

I'd rather I help them, they help me, love and all that jazz.

That's more like what it actually is.

To channel Dr. Phil...Marriage isn't a 50%-50% arrangement.  It's a 100%-100% deal. 

Also

Marriage means never having the bed to yourself again.

Marriage means never having to sleep alone again.

[Andy Pants]

To put it simply and bluntly (which I am great at apparently) everyone is cynical about marriage until they actually experience love i.e. a connection with someone they would want to spend the rest of their life with above all others that they know or could imagine. You don't 'understand' the idea of marriage because you have simply never experienced love.

[CeeGBee]

Marriage means never having the bed to yourself again.

Marriage means never having to sleep alone again.

It's my understanding that shared-beds are a changeable fashion...  Popular at times throughout
history, and not at others (but June & Ward Cleaver were just being modest for the cameras).

[virtual~mary]

The Romantic
It is a formal expression of symbiotic commitment.

The Realist
Although that word, "commitment" seems to have become interchangable with the word "marriage" itself. In my eyes marriage is the lovey-dovey happily ever after fairytale; Whereas commitment is the dedication to that fairytale once the harsh realities of interpersonal dynamics kick in.

The Cynic
Convenient pussy/dick

The Pragmatist
Death is nature's agent of change. Right now you are new (or new-ish), but soon you, and your ideas, will be increasingly  old, stagnant, and irrelevant. Then it will be the next generation's turn to give the world the dynamism that only youth and naivety can bring. Marriage is a complimentary solution to that inescapable ebb and flow of life. Both children and the acquisition of resources consume our most precious commodity - time. To invest in one is to compromise the other,that is of course, unless you have a commited life-partner to counterbalance your investment in either (Note - stereotypical gender roles not entrenched).

a couple to add to the list:

the conformist/traditionalist
marries because it's the thing to do (whether consciously or unconsciously). usually happens at a certain "age" when one's friends and peers are marrying and having children, seemingly en masse. not wanting to be the odd man/woman out (and miss out on all the attendant hubbub/avoid the probing whys) this person begins casting about for the most suitable mate among the available prospects, with an eye toward those who would turn the most heads/impress the most/uphold one's ideal. even if the prospect is not ideal now, they carry the promise of some future payoff and will render their mate a card-carrying "adult" member of the community.

the recidivist
been there/done that with spouse number 1 or more and have returned to give it another go. sometimes with more wisdom & maturity, sometimes not.

 

[jumpcut]

To put it simply and bluntly (which I am great at apparently) everyone is cynical about marriage until they actually experience love i.e. a connection with someone they would want to spend the rest of their life with above all others that they know or could imagine. You don't 'understand' the idea of marriage because you have simply never experienced love.

I agree.

I didn't even want a boyfriend, let alone a husband, when I first met the man I'm now married to.

That isn't to say that you can't truly be in love with someone and still decide that marriage isn't for you. Every couple is different. But it would still make sense to you why others would want to do it.

[stallionbreaker]

To put it simply and bluntly (which I am great at apparently) everyone is cynical about marriage until they actually experience love i.e. a connection with someone they would want to spend the rest of their life with above all others that they know or could imagine. You don't 'understand' the idea of marriage because you have simply never experienced love.

Mind your generalizations there. Not everyone is cynical about marriage. Otherwise, I think you're probably more right than not, except that I think some people think they're experiencing love with someone they want to be with their whole lives when they're really not. And some people don't belong together at all, but they try to make it work anyway. I have an ex who has been engaged to at least half the girlfriends he's had, and he's about to propose to the current one. I hope this time is "it", but am also cynical because I've seen so many (not just his) engagements fall apart between the proposal and the wedding.

[imaginary friend]

Marriage means never having the bed to yourself again.
I'd have to have separate bedrooms, with the occasional sleepover, because I'm just not cool with that

I know a few married couples who keep separate bedrooms. Doesn't seem to be a problem.

#@!

[buttercup.]

To put it simply and bluntly (which I am great at apparently) everyone is cynical about marriage until they actually experience love i.e. a connection with someone they would want to spend the rest of their life with above all others that they know or could imagine. You don't 'understand' the idea of marriage because you have simply never experienced love.

I was ready to marry someone once.
I disregarded my beliefs, I let him slip a ring on my finger.
I don't see that as "love". I see that as losing myself. Love is not something strictly between romantically involved people. Saying someone hasn't experienced love is like saying someone who hasn't experienced oxygen.

[Andy Pants]

To put it simply and bluntly (which I am great at apparently) everyone is cynical about marriage until they actually experience love i.e. a connection with someone they would want to spend the rest of their life with above all others that they know or could imagine. You don't 'understand' the idea of marriage because you have simply never experienced love.

I was ready to marry someone once.
I disregarded my beliefs, I let him slip a ring on my finger.
I don't see that as "love". I see that as losing myself. Love is not something strictly between romantically involved people. Saying someone hasn't experienced love is like saying someone who hasn't experienced oxygen.

There is more than one kind of love. The kind I am describing isn't all that common. I don't think it's a completely unfair assumption to say someone hasn't experienced it yet, I know I haven't. I'm not talking about sensual passionate love, familial love, platonic love or general affection. I'm talking about absolute ideal love, or 'Agape' as the Greeks called it. A reciprocated feeling that there is no one better out there, where all an individuals needs are being met. It is much more than a simple romantic attachment which are fairly common throughout someone's life. It is neither a guarantee nor a necessity that everyone in the world should find such a person, but usually an experience with some kind of deeper romantic love opens up peoples eyes to the possibility that such a relationship with a person exists. Have you ever been in a situation in which you know against all 'supposedly' rational reasoning that you're with the ideal person and you want to spend as long as you possibly can with them? Maybe even the rest of your life (if it comes to that)? Wouldn't it make sense for someone in that situation to want some kind of public and ongoing expression of their attachment? Most people who are cynical about marriage have simply never felt this way about anyone, or had never had the feeling reciprocated, or had never had both the feeling and their basic needs being met.

Mind your generalizations there. Not everyone is cynical about marriage. Otherwise, I think you're probably more right than not, except that I think some people think they're experiencing love with someone they want to be with their whole lives when they're really not. And some people don't belong together at all, but they try to make it work anyway. I have an ex who has been engaged to at least half the girlfriends he's had, and he's about to propose to the current one. I hope this time is "it", but am also cynical because I've seen so many (not just his) engagements fall apart between the proposal and the wedding.

I agree completely. I think most failed marriages either stem from either foolhardy decisions caused by people not knowing what they want, possibly as a result of not knowing themselves very well, or the simple fact that people change and sometimes they change in such a way that compromises a relationship. They are in other words no longer the person their partner wants or can no longer meet their partners needs. In the past married couples would grow alienated and just stagnate, but now divorce is a little more accepted in society, so I don't completely understand people who still hold the view that marriage is a prison-like death-trap or whatever.