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[quantuminsanity]

Also to me marriage feels a little bit like you're trying to prove to the outside world that you're in love, and it shouldn't need proving.

Rob's comment is very important and as for my own experience I was about as far away from your idea of marriage as possible.  I lived with my ex-girlfriend for 2 years and while there was no ring on her finger we found the size and were already doing basic planning.  Now I am highly against marrying someone without living with them for an extended period, that being a good example why (luckily not a bad break up though and we are still on good terms) but the step of marriage is not "trying to prove" anything.

May I ask what has brought you to that opinion of marriage?

I dunno really.  I guess because weddings seem to be all about other people.  Like putting on a show for the guests. 

[Pope Totalfrog]

Also to me marriage feels a little bit like you're trying to prove to the outside world that you're in love, and it shouldn't need proving.

Rob's comment is very important and as for my own experience I was about as far away from your idea of marriage as possible.  I lived with my ex-girlfriend for 2 years and while there was no ring on her finger we found the size and were already doing basic planning.  Now I am highly against marrying someone without living with them for an extended period, that being a good example why (luckily not a bad break up though and we are still on good terms) but the step of marriage is not "trying to prove" anything.

May I ask what has brought you to that opinion of marriage?

I dunno really.  I guess because weddings seem to be all about other people.  Like putting on a show for the guests. 

I have been to many weddings that were like that and I can see why it would put you off. Wasn't like that at our wedding - we made a point of it being all about us. We even purposely did a few things that amused us that we knew people wouldn't approve of because we wanted to and it was about us not them.

I think most people that get married do it because they are genuinely in love and want to share that with everyone. The people that do it just so they can have a wedding and impress people won't stay married for long.

[quantuminsanity]

Also to me marriage feels a little bit like you're trying to prove to the outside world that you're in love, and it shouldn't need proving.

Rob's comment is very important and as for my own experience I was about as far away from your idea of marriage as possible.  I lived with my ex-girlfriend for 2 years and while there was no ring on her finger we found the size and were already doing basic planning.  Now I am highly against marrying someone without living with them for an extended period, that being a good example why (luckily not a bad break up though and we are still on good terms) but the step of marriage is not "trying to prove" anything.

May I ask what has brought you to that opinion of marriage?

I dunno really.  I guess because weddings seem to be all about other people.  Like putting on a show for the guests. 

I have been to many weddings that were like that and I can see why it would put you off. Wasn't like that at our wedding - we made a point of it being all about us. We even purposely did a few things that amused us that we knew people wouldn't approve of because we wanted to and it was about us not them.

I think most people that get married do it because they are genuinely in love and want to share that with everyone. The people that do it just so they can have a wedding and impress people won't stay married for long.

It's not that it puts me off exactly, it's just that I don't see the point.  I like there to be a purpose to the things that I do. 
I've been in love, and I've never felt the need to share it with anybody, because it's no one else's business, it's between me and my partner.  And even if I wanted to share it, I could do that without getting married.

[Indja]

My mum's wedding was gorgeous - she had a Quaker service with just like family and close friends, so it was really small and delicious, and then we moved to my step-dad's church and had a Unitarian service followed by some very excellent Hindu drumming and dancing and things and then a big ol' piss-up xD I think it worked really well because it was just such a celebration of their (for want of a less knob-head word!) union, and it had a perfect mix of everything that was important to them. In Quaker marriage, you get this big like certificate that everyone who's there signs - it's like a huge card from everyone there xD The Unitarian thing wasn't that interesting, but it was important to my step-dad, and then the Hindu thing was just a bunch of my mum's friends - they henna-fied her hands for her too, it was gorgeous - sort of saying We love you this much and this is how we'll show it xD

[MelKilledAFP]

in australia same sex couples are unable to legally marry.  I'm  fighting very hard to be able to get married even though I know I may never it'd be good to know if i wanted to some day I was able to.
I came from divorces and broken up families and stepfamilies and shit but not being able to do something and being quite discriminated against has made me view things differently.

[JohnnyDBBUK]

i haven't read the first post but heres a response to the tagline

people get married because they don't want what happened to Vampira to happen to them.
(dead and undiscovered for days)

[Mr. Leave Me Alone]

i haven't read the first post but heres a response to the tagline

people get married because they don't want what happened to Vampira to happen to them.
(dead and undiscovered for days)

She was married twice.

[JohnnyDBBUK]

i haven't read the first post but heres a response to the tagline

people get married because they don't want what happened to Vampira to happen to them.
(dead and undiscovered for days)

She was married twice.

Yeah but wasn't her 2nd husband dead already?

[Mr. Leave Me Alone]

Just saying...getting married doesn't automatically prevent you from suffering a similar fate.

[peppamintdynamo]

Just saying...getting married doesn't automatically prevent you from suffering a similar fate.

especially if you're already dead

[pinkkittie27]

You can't think about marriage like it's some consumer product and everyone who gets one is getting the same thing.
Your marriage is what you make of it and what you put into it.
Your wedding is what you make of it and what you put into it.

There are many ways that we have to express love, getting married is just one of them.
And, as someone has already said- it's an excellent excuse to throw a great party. If that's what you're into. If not, it can just be the two of you and the courthouse. You needent even tell anyone you got hitched if you didn't want to.

To think of it as what it is to other people or what it has been in the past is to approach it all wrong. It's a blank sheet of paper. The tree it once was is gone. Now I can make it into an origami rose. Someone else can make it a picture of their cat. Someone else can write the greatest tragedy ever told on it.
It is a possibility. It is an opportunity. It is whatever you decide it is.

And fuck it all, you only live once! And there are worse things than making mistakes!

[Blue Canary]

 

There are many ways that we have to express love, getting married is just one of them.
And, as someone has already said- it's an excellent excuse to throw a great party. If that's what you're into. If not, it can just be the two of you and the courthouse. You needent even tell anyone you got hitched if you didn't want to.

Agreed!
I think for many people, getting married and having a wedding is somewhat of a rite of passage. Like graduations and even milestone  birthdays, it's a symbol of taking the next big step in life and not necessarily changing the way you live, but modifying it.
I don't think I'm going to ever get married, but one never knows what can happen even in a day.

[hybridhydrogencell]

hmm I don't get why some people get married like after a year or less of being together, if I ever get married I'd have to wait at least 2 years before doing it, and only if I still love that person and it feels right, idk if that's possible cause I get bored really easy...nope I don't get marriage 

[heartstringz]

in australia same sex couples are unable to legally marry.  I'm  fighting very hard to be able to get married even though I know I may never it'd be good to know if i wanted to some day I was able to.
I came from divorces and broken up families and stepfamilies and shit but not being able to do something and being quite discriminated against has made me view things differently.

Unfortunatly we seem to have tools running the country.  Hoping the pollies see sense so that same sex couples have the same rights as other couples.  I believe everyone is entitled to the same rights (including marriage), regardless of their sexuality.

I can't speak for everyone, but I want to get married once my partner and I have bought a house, because I love him so much and want to spend my life with him.  I know we don't have to be married to spend our lives together, but I just want that - I always have.  Don't know why, just an old-fashioned romantic I guess.

I would definatly never do it simply to look good or whatever.

[JohnnyDBBUK]