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Author Topic: "is that my son wearing a dress?"  (Read 15162 times)

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imaginary friend

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"is that my son wearing a dress?"
« on: August 25, 2010, 05:48:27 PM »

interesting quick read about a dad and his 4-year-old son:   http://www.salon.com/life/real_families/index.html?story=/mwt/feature/2010/08/23/my_son_in_a_dress

thoughts?

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buttercup.

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Re: "is that my son wearing a dress?"
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2010, 06:35:33 PM »

I saw a boy in Seattle wearing a pink ruffle covered dress over his normal clothes sitting on his dad's shoulders and I thought it was amazing.
I used to run around with my shirt off and wished with all my might that I was a boy.
Gender stereotypes are just rules and rules are meant to be tested, if not broken.
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Tiervexx

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Re: "is that my son wearing a dress?"
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2010, 07:17:38 PM »

if a rule has nothing to do with helping society function it should be broken.
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Indja

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Re: "is that my son wearing a dress?"
« Reply #3 on: August 28, 2010, 12:33:31 PM »

Poor kid. I think people forget how absolutely deadly serious such things are for little'uns - I mean, it's easy to think as an adult "what difference does it make what you wear", but the truth is that when you really, really want to do one thing and then either can't or get mocked for it, it fucking canes. I mostly feel bad that he was ill and couldn't dress up at all >.<

I think, however, the kid's parents could have handled it better. They could have been actively supportive rather than passively accepting - although, purely because of the amount kids change their minds, probably putting off buying the costume until the last minute is a good idea xD Making an issue out of something like this, even if the kid isn't necessarily around while his parents are worrying about it or talking to other parents about it, just reinforces the idea that "normal" and "the norm" are the same thing and that going against that is something not to be done. They get enough of that at school from teachers and peers without having it at home as well.

Incidentally, just reminded me of something - the little boy I babysit, he's 9 now but they moved up here from London when he was about 4 or so. He spent the whole summer playing outside in a... I think it was Belle's dress from Beauty And The Beast. That's yellow, right? Anyway, at the start of the summer he played out on the playing fields down the lane from his house, along with his elder sister and sometimes me. Then older kids who hung out there started taking the piss, so he didn't want to go there anymore and only played in the lane leading to the fields. People took the piss out of him there as well, and he moved closer to the house. By the end of the good weather, he was playing solely in his back garden, and by the time school started he'd banished the dress to under his bed and wouldn't wear it at all except inside the house, and even then only if it was his family or my mum or me there (we're like really old family friends, so I guess he feels safe with us or whatever).
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CeeGBee

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Re: "is that my son wearing a dress?"
« Reply #4 on: August 28, 2010, 12:39:27 PM »

^  This child needs a dose of Brian Viglione..... positive role-model and whatnot.
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Indja

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Re: "is that my son wearing a dress?"
« Reply #5 on: August 28, 2010, 01:18:44 PM »

^  This child needs a dose of Brian Viglione..... positive role-model and whatnot.

The kid in the article or Sammybumpoohead (as I like to call him xD)? Sam's alright, he seems to have come into his own as he's got a bit older - he goes to my old primary school, which is a pretty nice one, so he should be alright until secondary school at least. Ooooh, he's a lovely kid! :D
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The Angel Raliel

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Re: "is that my son wearing a dress?"
« Reply #6 on: August 29, 2010, 04:39:23 AM »

my only issue with the entire thing is that halloween costumes should be ghosts and monsters etc (designed to ward off the bad spirits while welcoming the good spirits into the home for winter) not barney the dodgy dinosaur or snowhite....
I used to dress up in dresses and stuff when I was little and I think it is absolutely fine... kids are forced to conform far too early nowadys... although Crouch End is stuffed full of kids that habitually wear dressing up clothes around town... this is a good thing
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Re: "is that my son wearing a dress?"
« Reply #7 on: August 29, 2010, 04:58:00 PM »

my only issue with the entire thing is that halloween costumes should be ghosts and monsters etc (designed to ward off the bad spirits while welcoming the good spirits into the home for winter) not barney the dodgy dinosaur or snowhite....
I used to dress up in dresses and stuff when I was little and I think it is absolutely fine... kids are forced to conform far too early nowadys... although Crouch End is stuffed full of kids that habitually wear dressing up clothes around town... this is a good thing
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absynth aura

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Re: "is that my son wearing a dress?"
« Reply #8 on: August 30, 2010, 07:27:03 PM »

Just on a random note, I think this music video (aka mini-movie) could also fit here, it's all in norwegian except for parts of the singing, but it's on topic really.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/3JvcmicOqkg" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/3JvcmicOqkg</a>
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Re: "is that my son wearing a dress?"
« Reply #9 on: August 31, 2010, 05:12:01 PM »

I can't say the parents in the article were wrong or right. It is a hard line to straddle. I'd like to think that I would have backed the kid all the way, but unless it is your child and you face that situation, you don't really know how you would act. I wish I knew more of the story, like what happened next?

Many kids have had it worse, and have been slapped down every time they dared to cross a line or even just to speak up, yet end up strong and wonderful individuals. Some have had open and supportive parents and went on to become murderers and junkies. Being a good parent is only half the battle. The child has the other half to fight for themselves.
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Re: "is that my son wearing a dress?"
« Reply #10 on: September 05, 2010, 04:50:32 PM »

I can't say the parents in the article were wrong or right. It is a hard line to straddle. I'd like to think that I would have backed the kid all the way, but unless it is your child and you face that situation, you don't really know how you would act. I wish I knew more of the story, like what happened next?

Many kids have had it worse, and have been slapped down every time they dared to cross a line or even just to speak up, yet end up strong and wonderful individuals. Some have had open and supportive parents and went on to become murderers and junkies. Being a good parent is only half the battle. The child has the other half to fight for themselves.

I totally agree. I don't have any kids but I helped raise my baby brother Will (who is 7 and not actually a baby except in my head) and I am pretty sure that somewhere I have pictures of him wearing a sequinned dress as a 3 or 4 year old or other costumes and some of those times would certainly have been when I was looking after him and having to be the one to decide whether or not I should discourage him from wearing this or that to the park. You want to be able to honestly say that you don't care what other people think, but it is so much more complicated than that. You can't say 'take that off, that's for girls' and then they end up learning that it is 'bad' in a potentially harsher way but once they've reached the point where the other kids have convinced them that it's not good, you can't go 'oh no, it's okay, keep doing that.' when the world has told them not to. You can get a great big 'no' or you can push the issue and risk making them do something they don't want to do anymore (what with kids being impressionable and all) and probably screwing shit up more than if you'd just left it alone to begin with.
If this is making any sense.
And I think it sucks extra for little boys. It's as normal for little girls to run around with their shirts off as it is for little boys because small children like the whole 'not wearing clothes' thing and really, you can't stop them. It's socially acceptable for girls to wear clothes that boys can wear but when a boy puts a dress on, everyone has an opinion. Fun for the masses.
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imaginary friend

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Re: "is that my son wearing a dress?"
« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2011, 10:16:09 PM »

J. Crew ad that has some people bothered because the mom painted her son's toenails pink.

read about it here:    http://moms.today.com/_news/2011/04/12/6458726-jcrew-ad-stirs-up-controversy-with-pink-nail-polish?GT1=43001


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The Angel Raliel

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Re: "is that my son wearing a dress?"
« Reply #12 on: April 13, 2011, 04:11:52 AM »

oh dear....another excuse for bigots to think they are protecting the innocent and be outraged by gender stereotypes that have only existed for 150 years max
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@raliel

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Re: "is that my son wearing a dress?"
« Reply #13 on: April 13, 2011, 05:54:20 AM »

I was just reading about that this morning. Firstly, what the fuck? Secondly...What the fuck? I used to paint my little brothers' nails all different colours and so far, I'm pretty sure it doesn't mean a damn thing. It means that sometimes little boys like to have their nails painted because they think it's fun.

ALSO what is this comment?
Quote
His mom is the one distorting reality for him here. Little boys are not toenail painters. Men do not paint their toe nails because:
A: We have no reason to, because it serves no practical purpose.
B: It is automatically instinctually gender confusion/homosexual behavior.
C: Most men could care less what their feet look like because we rarely ever see them anyway.

...Women paint their toe nails becasue:
A: It serves them a purpose in that the majority of women take care of their feet.
B: The purpose it serves is that women like to wear toe revealing shoes that match some outfit or ensemble which makes them look and/or feel sexier.
C: The purpose of looking and/or feeling sexier to a woman means she is able to fulfill her basic instinct to mate. Toe painting is just another adornment like jewlery that is specifically designed to attract a member of the opposite sex so that the age old mating dance can eventually produce offspring.

I don't even...What...Aside from all the stuff he's listed which I don't particularly feel like dissecting right now, his mother is distorting reality for him?! That just cracked me up.
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Niels

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Re: "is that my son wearing a dress?"
« Reply #14 on: April 13, 2011, 06:57:10 AM »

I think it's an adorable picture and an adorable little kid. And I really want his t-shirt.
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