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Author Topic: Kindness vs. Honesty  (Read 7931 times)

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Kenny Wisdom

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Re: Kindness vs. Honesty
« Reply #15 on: July 25, 2011, 05:23:32 AM »

Over the years I have come to believe that kindness should supercede honesty, and as NU said, tact should be deployed before considering either.
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Re: Kindness vs. Honesty
« Reply #16 on: July 25, 2011, 11:04:31 AM »

Being honest is the kindest thing you can do.  They work together.

"Let not kindness and truth forsake thee: Bind them about thy neck;
Write them upon the tablet of thy heart"
Proverbs 3:3 (ASV)


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Re: Kindness vs. Honesty
« Reply #17 on: July 25, 2011, 01:31:55 PM »

The trick is in recognizing when it's time to be brutally honest, when
to be gently critical, when to dance around the matter, and when to
just let it slide entirely.

I tend to err toward the middle of that spectrum, avoiding needed
correction, and noting meaningless flaws.
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Agonistes

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Re: Kindness vs. Honesty
« Reply #18 on: July 25, 2011, 01:35:28 PM »

i generally blunder through it as best i can.
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Re: Kindness vs. Honesty
« Reply #19 on: July 25, 2011, 01:37:16 PM »

Generally I'm a let-it-slide-er. I'll say if something needs to be said, but for the most part I think people are fine enough ticking along as they are.
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lentower

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Re: Kindness vs. Honesty
« Reply #20 on: July 25, 2011, 02:03:45 PM »

The trick is in recognizing when it's time to be brutally honest, when
to be gently critical, when to dance around the matter, and when to
just let it slide entirely.

well said.
another way of saying what Indja and I said some posts back
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Morpheus Laughing

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Re: Kindness vs. Honesty
« Reply #21 on: July 25, 2011, 02:49:17 PM »

“The customer is always right” is a classic controversy that sort of fits in with this. It is probably more of an issue of politeness than kindness but I can think of occasions in that framework where acting with kindness might have a more powerful and positive result than trying to elicit a future change of attitude with a fair and honest critique.
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Agonistes

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Re: Kindness vs. Honesty
« Reply #22 on: July 25, 2011, 03:11:35 PM »

'the customer is always right' is a method of sucking up in order to ensure continuous gain of their money.  notice how exponentially the attitude changes when the product is necessary or not easily obtainable.
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lentower

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Re: Kindness vs. Honesty
« Reply #23 on: July 25, 2011, 03:21:59 PM »

'the customer is always right' is a method of sucking up in order to ensure continuous gain of their money.  notice how exponentially the attitude changes when the product is necessary or not easily obtainable.

good point
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BATTEREDxBRIDExLUVR!

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Re: Kindness vs. Honesty
« Reply #24 on: August 01, 2011, 09:34:31 PM »

The trick is in recognizing when it's time to be brutally honest, when
to be gently critical, when to dance around the matter, and when to
just let it slide entirely.

well said.
another way of saying what Indja and I said some posts back

exactly what i wanted to say, and stated perfectly. i've also realized the importance of not just recognizing the difference, but recognizing the importance of recognizing the difference.
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Re: Kindness vs. Honesty
« Reply #25 on: August 02, 2011, 05:08:49 PM »

i generally blunder through it as best i can.
I think I probably take the same route.

I know I certainly try my best to be kind (at least in the polite way) though, if only for the muisguided hope that if I'm kind to people then maybe they'll be kind to me.
But I'll admit that I'm also as honest with people as I can be (Without it being for pointlessly offensive reasons) because I get pissed off with people who will tell me an obvious lie cause they think it'll make me feel better.
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Re: Kindness vs. Honesty
« Reply #26 on: August 02, 2011, 07:21:28 PM »

I am kind by being honest with people. I try not to be brutal about it but there are times when I can be.

Lying to someone to make them feel better is only an option if they are on their deathbed and won't ever find out the truth.
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Re: Kindness vs. Honesty
« Reply #27 on: August 02, 2011, 07:45:33 PM »

The problem is working out when it is my place to be brutally honest.  I've crossed the line before, and where I don't usually have an issue with playing with boundaries, it's just a shit load of hassle I can't be bothered with. 
That is an important point that I forgot to mention. At the end of the day you have to be someone I actually care about or doing something to directly irritate me for me to say something. Anything else isn't any of my business and I stay the hell out of it.
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Re: Kindness vs. Honesty
« Reply #28 on: August 05, 2011, 05:56:39 PM »

 I think people should practice being honest with themselves before giving and major advice to someone else. because let's face it, when growing up we know nothing (for the most part) We tell ourselves we do for the emotional support but I've found that having the ability to admit you're wrong or be honest to yourself about anything is much more supportive than going through life otherwise.
It's not really a question of can you be honest and kind because being honest is being kind. It's a question of are you actually, really being honest (are you taking a cognitive approach to it)
 
It's also 100% possible that you could be honest and still piss someone off. That's just the way it is 
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Re: Kindness vs. Honesty
« Reply #29 on: August 05, 2011, 06:10:53 PM »

When it comes to be honest to someone else, i think it sometimes depends on the person you are talking to. For example, i knew a girl from university who often asked how her hair looked like. And she used to dye her hair in really weird colours. This one time she asked me, i answered "i don't think this dye goes well with your tan". She got really offended by that, and never asked me such a thing again.
I don't understand why people keep asking such questions if they're so afraid of the answers they'll get. Such people clearly want you to lie under the cover of compliments and kindness. That's not my thing, if i ask somebody how my hair or dress or something looks like, i really mean it because it's hard to look at yourself from an objective point of view, most of the time.

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