Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[dj50tonhamster]

Hello. I had these lying around and figured I might as well put them to use. Here are the lyrics from the much-fabled demo tape Amanda made in 1998. The lyrics have been adjusted slightly to match what's on the tape. All formatting matches what's in the original liner notes, with the exception that "Kaledrina" had no printed lyrics.

Enjoy!

---
bad habit  (1994)
biting keeps your words at bay
tending to the sores that stay
happiness is just a gash away
when I open a familiar scar
pain goes shooting like a star
comfort hasn't failed to follow
so far
and you might say it’s self-destructive
but you see it's more productive
than if I were to be healthy
and pens and penknives take the blame
equally for equal pain
yet the ugly marks
are worth the
momentary gain
when I jab a sharpened object in
choirs of angels seem to sing
hymns of hate in memorandum
and you might say it's self-destructive
but you see it's more productive
than if I were to be happy
and sappy songs about sex and cheating
bland accounts of two lovers meeting
make me want to give mankind a beating
and you might say it's self-indulgent
but to me it's more repugnant
if I was to claim I wasn't sickened
and as the skin rips off
I cherish the revolting thought
that even if I quit
there's not a chance in hell I'd stop
and anyone can see the signs
so do I if they're not mine
thank you for your pity
you are too kind
and you might say its self-inflicted
but you see that's contradictive
why on earth would anyone practice
self-destruction?
and pain opinions are sitcom feeding
they don't know that their minds are teething
makes me want to give mankind a beating
I've tried bandages and sinking
I've tried gloves and even thinking
I've tried vaseline
oh i've tried everything
and no-one cares if your back is bleeding
they're concerned with their hair receding
looking back it was all maltreating
every thought that occurred misleading
makes me want to give myself a beating....

------------------------
slide  (1992)
what is past
what is past
what is past
monarchial dreams in a puddle of light
and a red little girl's at the top of a slide
and an orange old man at the bottom
wants to take her
for a ride
as she slips and she tumbles
the orange man mumbles
pennies crash down from the sky
he could tell her or ride her away on a horse
but of course it is a lie
she's a quarter way down
and her skirts are yanked up
and her little girl cheeks start to wrinkle
but her smile is wide
and her legs are spread wider
her hair growing long
and her hips getting larger
past getting brighter
hope growing weaker
she is halfway down now
but the man is impatient
he tugs in his pocket
he might have to wait
but she's coming
she's coming
she's coming
who ruined eden
during recess in a perfect world
who started bleeding
when he teased her
from the swingset
as she starts to draw nearer
the view becomes clearer
the splinters are painful
but she doesn't feel it
the pennies were loaded
and as they exploded
she starts to spin out of control
her eyes are now closing
her sleeves are unrolling
up past her head
and flew into the sandbox
not that she noticed
her wonder is focused
one old man who's laughing
who's laughing
who’s laughing
"don't worry
I've got you
don’t worry
I’ve got you
don't worry
I've got you"
the orangeman got you....
what is past
what is past
what is past

------------------------
predictable addiction  (1991)
I don't even want to quit
it's good experience
if you can find the time
I crave
I crave the torture
therapy will set you back
tear up all the cards you hold
you understand who did this, don't you
and they are experts in the art of torture
you can't keep blaming all your weakness on the culture
you are a patriot of patronizing me
you're a predictable addiction that I need
I could endure it if you wanted
but I don't want to fuck you
you just want to fuck me
please make it quick and painless
I can do nothing
but trust you
I can make bad choices disappear
I get better at it every year
I can make-believe I'm on t.v.
I have a talent for it
as I think you've seen
it only takes myself
any more would take away
so you don't even need to know
that you are now the standard for the torture
and if you did it wouldn't make things any better
even as the knife draws near
I don't like to see you sad
just ignore my screams and tears
really
I enjoy it
I enjoy the torture
you are a patriot of patronizing me
you're a predictable addiction that I need
I could endure it if you wanted
but I don't want to fuck you
and you just want to fuck me
please make it long and painful
cause I deserve it
they said so.

-------------------------
kaledrina  (1997)
an arm is off
an eye is missing
a foot is torn
a face is colored
a chest is ripped
a knife is stuck
this mechanism
seems to be broken

still pull the string
still it can talk

"my name is kaledrina,
and i love you very much
my name is kaledrina,
and i love you very much"

when i woke up
my arm was off
my eye was missing
my foot was torn
my face was colored
my chest was ripped
a knife was stuck
this mechanism
seems to be broken

still pull the string
still i can talk

"my name is kaledrina,
and i love you very much
my name is kaledrina,
and i love you very much
my name is kaledrina,
and i love you very much
my name is kaledrina,
and i love you very much"

---------------------------
1.1.94  (1998)
we had written
we would finally make good on what we had been given
it was way more than too late to
concentrate on what we should have done from the beginning
and we kept on bleeding long after the
signatures dried thereby dubbing us
mr. and mrs. Macbeth
and given the present conditions
it's hard to believe for a second that you
thought you knew me to death
and how could we honor this contract in
light of the fact that we practically
lost all the feeling we had?
there is still time
we could still try
it's very difficult when no-one's there to catch you in the rye....
how romantic
ushering in the new year with our childish antics
and how soon after
the gullible glimmer of hope turned to sarcastic laughter
and we were intelligent people
with eyes in our heads it's astonishing
isn't it?
I thought you were just plain shy
a quiet kind of guy
with abandonment waiting behind every corner
a delicate sort of a loner
how foolish was I?
there is still time
we could still try
it's very difficult to hold fast when the dream would rather die....
you kept saying
that the black cloud that followed above you would never stop raining
you're mistaken
we had tied ourselves tight to a punishment of our own making
and isn't funny years later to look at
us broken and shaking our heads laughing
"if we had known back then
the trouble it would bring to actually
want to create something meaningful
now we've turned into these pitiful
people too scared to touch and
drinking way too much
it's awful and painful and we
should be grateful that nothing became
of the bloody desires we had"
there is still time
we could still try
to overlook the cloud and bleed the rainbow dry....
there is still time

[CeeGBee]

   You look strangely familiar....

Have I seen you somewhere before?   

[lentower]

 You look strangely familiar....

Have I seen you somewhere before?    

Isn't he that fan who left the
fair paradise of the Virginian commonwealth,
heading north into the wilderness?
(There are rumors that it's quite a nice wilderness.
(But who can believe rumors?))

[CeeGBee]

 You look strangely familiar....

Have I seen you somewhere before?    

Isn't he that fan who left the
fair paradise of the Virginian commonwealth,
heading north into the wilderness?
(There are rumors that it's quite a nice wilderness.
(But who can believe rumors?))

Nah, that guy went to Africa and was eaten by cannibals.

[lentower]

  You look strangely familiar....

Have I seen you somewhere before?   

Isn't he that fan who left the
fair paradise of the Virginian commonwealth,
heading north into the wilderness?
(There are rumors that it's quite a nice wilderness.
(But who can believe rumors?))

Nah, that guy went to Africa and was eaten by cannibals.

sure it wasn't the fella who went to Asia,
and got enslaved by the mongol hordes?

[Cirque]

Wow, Predictable addiction is almost entirely different from the version on the other demo.

[BATTEREDxBRIDExLUVR!]

so much better than any of her recent nonsense.

i will never understand how anyone could think that this is less desirable than a 3248630483 dollar throw away live recording.

[marie_x]

so much better than any of her recent nonsense.

i will never understand how anyone could think that this is less desirable than a 3248630483 dollar throw away live recording.

you mean delilah.

[dj50tonhamster]

 You look strangely familiar....

Have I seen you somewhere before?    

Isn't he that fan who left the
fair paradise of the Virginian commonwealth,
heading north into the wilderness?
(There are rumors that it's quite a nice wilderness.
(But who can believe rumors?))

Nah, that guy went to Africa and was eaten by cannibals.

sure it wasn't the fella who went to Asia,
and got enslaved by the mongol hordes?

I believe both of you are thinking of the guy who got eaten by polar bears.

Anyway, I'm glad you all like the lyrics. While it's on my mind, I'll post my brief thoughts on each of the tracks.

Bad Habit - Pretty good run-through. Basically the Dolls version minus the drums. No surprises here. Play a live recording of Amanda solo and it's basically the same.

Slide - In some ways, I prefer this a bit to the Dolls version. It just seems a bit creepier. Anyway, the Dolls version is basically the same, minus the drums and the "What is past?" line Amanda keeps repeating (and doesn't print in the tape's liner notes). No significant surprises here, although I do like it quite a bit.

Predictable Addiction - Eh. It's obvious this was written by a (well-read, relatively mature) 14/15-year-old. Pretty standard mid-tempo piano ballad. The closest analogy I can think of offhand is "Me and the Minibar" if you made it twice as long and stretched everything out. (It's fairly long, maybe 7-8 min. or so.) I can see why Amanda has left this one in the dustbin of history.

Kaledrina - I haven't listened to live recordings in ages but I'm pretty sure the song hasn't really changed, other than maybe being shortened a bit. (This one goes on for something like 11-12 min.) The closest (for now?) that we'll come to a studio version.

1.1.94 - The song's basically the same as the WKAP demo, right down to the slapping of the piano, although this version's about twice as long. Amanda takes a long time between verses, plays a long intro and stretches the outro quite a bit. This one leaves me a bit cold. The WKAP demo feels rushed. This one feels too languid. That and I just can't get into the lyrics. Whatevs.

All in all, you guys aren't missing an awful lot. I do hope that Amanda sees fit to re-release at least some of this someday, presumably as part of an "Early Days" anthology. That said, this isn't a holy grail. From a musical perspective, Amanda was setting the stage for the aesthetics and sonics she'd use in her 20s, with all the accompanying ups and downs. From a historical perspective, the early versions are kind of interesting for hardcore collectors but can be skipped by more fairweather fans, especially those who don't care for pre-AFP Amanda. It's really nothing more than an early chapter in the book of Amanda's early career, and one where she had already sketched out the basics of where she was going throughout her 20s (i.e., she already knew what she wanted). If I saw an original copy for $100, I'd probably buy it solely for the novelty and the original artwork. (The packaging is pretty slick. I think Amanda even had the cassettes professionally dubbed.) If I saw this on Bandcamp for more than $5, I'd probably take a pass.

Later.

[BATTEREDxBRIDExLUVR!]

All in all, you guys aren't missing an awful lot.

oh, okay!

[citizenoftheplanet]

So I'd be right in thinking none of these are listen-able anywhere? Sucks... Thanks for sharing the lyrics though :3

[dj50tonhamster]

So I'd be right in thinking none of these are listen-able anywhere? Sucks...

Yep. I just got lucky. I might be able to post scans of the artwork someday but don't hold your breath. If the situation ever changes and it's cool with A-Palm, I'll see what I can do. I mean, in theory, Amanda does owe me a copy. She told me 5 1/2 years ago that she'd make one for me. I figured she'd forget all about it, being in the middle of a tour at the time, and I'm not about to hound anybody over something that could've easily been re-released long ago if desired.

[Mister Sahara]

thanks for putting up the lyrics!

i remember hearing a slide version that went "who taught the fingers... of the little girl on the swingset" in the middle  (instead of "who are you blaming" or "who ruined eden")  and for some reason i though it was a demo kind of thing, anyone know that version?

[Cirque]

thanks for putting up the lyrics!

i remember hearing a slide version that went "who taught the fingers... of the little girl on the swingset" in the middle  (instead of "who are you blaming" or "who ruined eden")  and for some reason i though it was a demo kind of thing, anyone know that version?

Yes that's from the other demo (I'm not sure what years it covers, I think 89-95 but that's probably wrong)

[BATTEREDxBRIDExLUVR!]

thanks for putting up the lyrics!

i remember hearing a slide version that went "who taught the fingers... of the little girl on the swingset" in the middle  (instead of "who are you blaming" or "who ruined eden")  and for some reason i though it was a demo kind of thing, anyone know that version?

Yes that's from the other demo (I'm not sure what years it covers, I think 89-95 but that's probably wrong)

basically. it's from one of the cassettes that was on one of the demos that was being sold in '96 afaik.

fwiw the booklet lyrics for that one:

monarchial dreams in a puddle of light
and a red little girl's at the top of a slide
and an orange old man at the bottom
wants to take her
for a ride
as she slips and she tumbles
the orange man mumbles
pennies fall out of the sky
she could say that her dream's
the american one
but she'd know it was a lie

she's a quarter way down
and her skirts are yanked up
and her little girl cheeks start
to wrinkle
but her smile is wide and her
legs are spread wider her hair growing
long and her hips getting wider
past getting brighter
hope growing weaker

she is half the way down
but the man is impatient
he tugs at his watchchain
today he'll be late but she's coming...

who taught the fingers
of the little girl on the swingset?

as she starts to draw nearer the
view becomes clearer
the splinters are painful but
she fails to feel it
the pennies were loaded and as they
exploded she starts to spin out
of control

her eyes are now closing her sleeves
are unrolling up past her head and
flew into the sandbox not that she
noticed her senses were focused on one
old man who's laughing:
don't worry, I've got you...

THE ORANGEMAN GOT YOU...