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Author Topic: The problems with this forum  (Read 15637 times)

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lentower

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The problems with this forum
« on: March 04, 2012, 04:14:25 PM »

  • It has been forgotten that this forum has been and continues to be
    a gift from Amanda and Brian to their fans.

    That, in a real way, they have create a home here and invited you in.

    You don't show gratitude.

    You don't act as good guests.

    You act as owners.  Freeloaders.  Parasites.

  • You have forgotten that the Admins are people.  Have feelings.
    And are the representatives of your hosts, Amanda and Brian.

    They should be respected.

    They should be treated with civility, kindness, and compassion.
    Complaints and criticisms offered that way.

    Instead you whine, beg, insist, scold, and worse.

  • You are cruel to one another with no regret.  

    From before Mr Numbers cruel hoax on fishbulb
    past N.U.'s continued disrespect for and harassment of the forum's admins Sean and Hayley.

    This behavior has been increasing over my years on the sbox.

    You delight in being cruel and mean to others.
    As a form of expression and entertainment.

    I can't be part of a community,
    where cruelty and meanness are valued
    more than kindness and compassion.


Some of you are decent people.

I wish each of you,
even the parasites,
continued growth as people.
Increasing kindness,
Increasing compassion.

Goodbye.
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further back:
Our forum before this one...

Mr. Leave Me Alone

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Re: The problems with this forum
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2012, 04:32:15 PM »

I'm surprised that you find the community to be meaner than it used to be. I mean, people who regularly posted used to do so with a little fear! I also think it's sad that you're judging people who wanted to bring improvements to the website as parasites. Yes, there were a few occasions where people got AGGRESSIVE about it, but I'm sure that was more to do with feelings of not being listened to than feelings of entitlement. I'm not really sure because I don't spend as much time on here as I used to.
That said, sorry to hear that you feel so horrible about the box that you're leaving. All the best of luck in future endeavors, etc, etc.
I'm sure you'd be welcomed back by plenty of members anytime.
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BATTEREDxBRIDExLUVR!

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Re: The problems with this forum
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2012, 04:36:00 PM »

I mean, people who regularly posted used to do so with a little fear!
lmao really? mocking and sarcasm in a thread about being hurt and offended by meanness?
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Re: The problems with this forum
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2012, 04:39:39 PM »

That wasn't whatever you read it as.
I've seen people post about how they used to be scared to post because people were so sarcastic and mean to everyone. I was just referring to that.
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imaginary friend

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Re: The problems with this forum
« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2012, 04:40:13 PM »

I mean, people who regularly posted used to do so with a little fear!
lmao really? mocking and sarcasm in a thread about being hurt and offended by meanness?

dude, this place used to be REALLY vicious on occasion.

slyvia k

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Re: The problems with this forum
« Reply #5 on: March 04, 2012, 04:44:07 PM »

Len, I'm really sorry it has come to this...
I'm sorry to see that you feel so hurt by some members as to leave this forum,
but I'm even more sorry to see you go this way, full of rage and spite and quite frankly insulting other fellow boxers
(parasites? aren't you being a little harsh?),
because that's not the wise Len I know who always had a kind word and a piece of advice for everyone...
I prefer to keep that Len in my mind...
Best of luck, as Audrey said, and I just hope you can shed a bit of this anger and maybe come back... if not, see you on fb I guess.
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Cirque

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Re: The problems with this forum
« Reply #6 on: March 04, 2012, 04:49:31 PM »

Sad to see you go as the others are.
But I found this goodbye rather childish, which was far from what I would have expected from Len.

BATTEREDxBRIDExLUVR!

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Re: The problems with this forum
« Reply #7 on: March 04, 2012, 04:56:44 PM »

That wasn't whatever you read it as.
I've seen people post about how they used to be scared to post because people were so sarcastic and mean to everyone. I was just referring to that.

well, i was one of them, and what you said was almost an exact quote of what i said.

but,

i'm also sorry to see that you're going len. i can't say that i've ever thought your intentions regarding the shadowbox were not good, and i appreciate the efforts that you made to make this a better place in whatever way you knew how.

i will disagree that the shadowbox is/was a gift from amanda & brian, or that they created a "home" for anyone; the shadowbox users are responsible for that, and "shadowboxer" no longer describes amanda and has never described brian. it's been a helpful tool for them to spread information about their shows and connect with their fanbase.

for what it's worth, anyone who does not care about the shadowbox, a community of people, is not a member of it.

and lastly, i think kicking len when he's down only proves his point(s).
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Quote
I do not want to live to archive my own life.
I see it everywhere around me, especially with the popularity of web diaries, forums, and cell phones that take pictures.
I do not want to fall into the subtle trap of truly believing I Blog Therefore I Am.
amanda, 2005-04-15

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Re: The problems with this forum
« Reply #8 on: March 04, 2012, 05:02:40 PM »

That wasn't whatever you read it as.
I've seen people post about how they used to be scared to post because people were so sarcastic and mean to everyone. I was just referring to that.

well, i was one of them, and what you said was almost an exact quote of what i said.



Oh, okay! I couldn't remember who had said it, just that it's been said on a few occasions. At any rate, I wasn't trying to say anything nasty to Len.
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Half Mar

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Re: The problems with this forum
« Reply #9 on: March 04, 2012, 05:20:55 PM »

I really try to not get involved in these kind of things, but some things really bother me and I want to get it of my sleeve.

We have forgotten Admins are people too? I really do not agree. Some people tried to get the message through to you nicely, but you replied immature. So I'm thinking you are starting to forget that the members are people. And the fact that you call a lot of us here 'parasites'? Really? That's really a good example of treating people like human beings.

It bothered me that your way was the only right way, and when someone had a different opinion, it's just plain wrong. Everyone has their own opinion, and everyone has the right to that. But to just say that their opinion is wrong because you do not agree, that's stupid. You can agree, you can not agree, but that doesn't mean they are right or wrong.

I respect a lot of the admins, probably all of them, because they don't act like they are the big ones who rule the Shadowbox world like Gods. Len lost that and did act like he was a God.

With this post to me it seems like you are trying to make yourself look like the victim, and we are all the bad evil ones that did it. I think for the most part you did it yourself. And it is sad that it had to come like this, but if you want to leave, so be it.
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Savannah

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Re: The problems with this forum
« Reply #10 on: March 04, 2012, 06:11:21 PM »

Len, i don't see why you took the criticisms so personal. Just because we won't pay for the forum, don't we have right to share our own thoughts? Or do we have to get permission from you for what to say and what to hide? Okay then, you and Admins may kick all of us so called parasites out and enjoy the silence.

You have always been a very friendly and decent person to me until the last couple of weeks in which you kept complaining about 'how people whine and whine and whine'. Adding insult to injury, now you call people parasites.

You don't seem like what i thought you were, i'm sorry.

The Len i used to know was not someone who's so afraid of being disagreed or criticised.

I've always had respect to the efforts you guys have made to keep this forum alright. But now, as i see, just because you'd made these efforts you think you have right to tell people shut the fuck up, i've got completely shocked.

I want to remember you as the wise and decent guy i've met on the SBox, but such kind of farewell does not let me do it.
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Agonistes

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Re: The problems with this forum
« Reply #11 on: March 04, 2012, 09:31:20 PM »

well...
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Musings

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Re: The problems with this forum
« Reply #12 on: March 04, 2012, 09:49:46 PM »

Be well, Len. 

You're too wrapped up in this place (I've been there), and there are too many other things going on in the world, too many other things to take part in.  Take a breath, get perspective, and this stuff happening on the forum will seem less tragic and important.

You'll be back, and when you are, Amanda and Brian will appreciate your presence just as much as they did before.  And I'm sure other members of SBx will enjoy you in a rebalanced, renewed state.
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Re: The problems with this forum
« Reply #13 on: March 05, 2012, 07:46:04 AM »

Len no one can police people being arseholes to each other.
Pro-active modding is fine in theory but I think a better approach is waiting for parties to report being offended first.
Pro-active modding can quickly turn into overly controlled boards. THe Dolls and AFP are all about freedom of speech afterall.

We are all tough skinned adults, no nanny state needed on the Shadowbox and if someone is being a dick the people who use it will tear them a new one without the need for GODMODE admin actions.
Sincerely hope you can come back sometime but perhaps more chilled about things?

Cheddars Cousin

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Re: The problems with this forum
« Reply #14 on: March 05, 2012, 11:43:05 AM »

Adios!
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