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[spider jerusalem]

Yesterday I was away to watch the main fights of UFC Rio 3. Though Im not a fan or even like mma that much, I thought it would be a good idea to socialize with some folks. Okay, everything was fine until the vegan (who was vegetarian a couple of weeks ago, but became a vegan now) started to preach about veganism after the girl friend of one of the guys asked if he didnt eat meat/was vegetarian.

It was the kind of "let me put you down" preach. It really spoiled my mood yesterday. Sometimes I go out to stop feeling miserable with my silly "white people problems" and what I really don't want to  is someone saying why doing something is bad, or to discuss nothing but amicable things. If I want to feel bad about myself, I just stay at home.

[absynth aura]

Reading the replies to Amanda's insurance poll on twitter. It's really terrible to see people who can't afford insurance so aren't insured, or people who have gotten married, possiy prematurely, just to get onto their partners insurance.

[Blue Canary]

I have had a really busy week and I am tired as hell. Today was completely go, go goooo from the beginning. It was for my birthday and it was supposed to be fun. And I know I'm just tired as fuck, and I'm going to try to remember the good stuff before I go to bed so I don't have bad dreams, because I know it wasn't all bad or anything.
I love my family. They're one of the most important things in my life. They drive me absolutely mad though. I tried to have my older sister and her boyfriend join my Dad's half of the family (him, his wife, and his stepson) and I today, after we got done with my Mom's half (which is really just her). Which did happen, for once, she didn't make an excuse. But I wish she did, because it sucked my last reserve to try to balance the two of them. Her and her boyfriend hate my Dad and his wife, although she would claim she doesn't. Hate might be a strong word, but it's close, anyway. They think very very poorly of them. It was very exhausting, being pulled in two places. It was very exhausting, trying to make her and her boyfriend understand that I like my Dad and his wife, even though they stress me out. They don't get that I care about them. They disrespect them constantly in front of me. It's fucking rude.
I was in the middle constantly when I was a child. I'm the middle child, so it's probably some sort of shit fate or something. I usually put myself there. When I got older and decided to get better and stop letting my family eat me, I stopped. And it seems I've been put back there, rather inadvertently. I hate it and I'm tired.
And I don't know what to do about the holidays, coming up.
I love the holidays, but I'm really overwhelmed from just everything with my birthday, and I don't want to handle everything for the holidays... although I won't be balancing it with school then, at least.
Speaking of, I have to wake up and get up tomorrow and go to the fucking art museum for my fucking art appreciation class. I use fucking in the most exhausted sense of the word, I'm trying to put some anger in it but it's not working. I am tired, and I want to stay home. I don't do well if I don't have one day to recuperate, at least, before throwing myself back at the world. I'm not strong, and I can't do this. I can't do this whole fucking life thing. And I can feel myself slipping, when I get pushed a bit like this.

And I feel like I always come on here and post negative shit so now I'm going to go post funny happy things somewhere. So there.

Oof, that sounds like a lot to handle. Especially on your birthday!
It feels like the older we get, the worse birthdays become.
hahaha That was so negative, but it's been a stressful week.

[Marionette26]

I have had a really busy week and I am tired as hell. Today was completely go, go goooo from the beginning. It was for my birthday and it was supposed to be fun. And I know I'm just tired as fuck, and I'm going to try to remember the good stuff before I go to bed so I don't have bad dreams, because I know it wasn't all bad or anything.
I love my family. They're one of the most important things in my life. They drive me absolutely mad though. I tried to have my older sister and her boyfriend join my Dad's half of the family (him, his wife, and his stepson) and I today, after we got done with my Mom's half (which is really just her). Which did happen, for once, she didn't make an excuse. But I wish she did, because it sucked my last reserve to try to balance the two of them. Her and her boyfriend hate my Dad and his wife, although she would claim she doesn't. Hate might be a strong word, but it's close, anyway. They think very very poorly of them. It was very exhausting, being pulled in two places. It was very exhausting, trying to make her and her boyfriend understand that I like my Dad and his wife, even though they stress me out. They don't get that I care about them. They disrespect them constantly in front of me. It's fucking rude.
I was in the middle constantly when I was a child. I'm the middle child, so it's probably some sort of shit fate or something. I usually put myself there. When I got older and decided to get better and stop letting my family eat me, I stopped. And it seems I've been put back there, rather inadvertently. I hate it and I'm tired.
And I don't know what to do about the holidays, coming up.
I love the holidays, but I'm really overwhelmed from just everything with my birthday, and I don't want to handle everything for the holidays... although I won't be balancing it with school then, at least.
Speaking of, I have to wake up and get up tomorrow and go to the fucking art museum for my fucking art appreciation class. I use fucking in the most exhausted sense of the word, I'm trying to put some anger in it but it's not working. I am tired, and I want to stay home. I don't do well if I don't have one day to recuperate, at least, before throwing myself back at the world. I'm not strong, and I can't do this. I can't do this whole fucking life thing. And I can feel myself slipping, when I get pushed a bit like this.

And I feel like I always come on here and post negative shit so now I'm going to go post funny happy things somewhere. So there.

Oof, that sounds like a lot to handle. Especially on your birthday!
It feels like the older we get, the worse birthdays become.
hahaha That was so negative, but it's been a stressful week.

I was just thinking that yesterday. Birthdays used to be really magical, almost as magical as Christmas. And they've gotten progressively less magical and more stressful as I've gotten older. Which sucks hardcorely, and hopefully I can find a way to take back something of them and make it special again.
And if my family starts ruining Christmas for me, I'm going to either kill them or drug them until they are docile.

[CeeGBee]

'Fraid you've got the birthday thing pegged....  Sorry. 
(Unless, of course, you want to spend your own money - we grown-ups get to hold
our own birthday parties at whatever restaurant we want, as long as we're willing at
least to take the chance that we might have to pay the check.)

Also, murdering family at major holidays, no matter how much they may deserve it,
is generally frowned-upon.  You should probably stick with mild sedatives and mood-
enhancers, but only ones you've tested and can predict the reactions - The E.R. will
have plenty of guests without your gang showing up with a rowdy drug-reaction case.

[sangrebloom]

Reading the replies to Amanda's insurance poll on twitter. It's really terrible to see people who can't afford insurance so aren't insured, or people who have gotten married, possiy prematurely, just to get onto their partners insurance.

I have sucked into this for the better part of today, Amanda has been in twitter jail for three times I think and I'm awaiting a blog...This has not ruined my day, but made me aware that lots of people are like me, scared to get sick.

Also, I'd love to live in a world where I wouldn't have to borrow medication from friends and family when I do get sick.

[absynth aura]

Reading the replies to Amanda's insurance poll on twitter. It's really terrible to see people who can't afford insurance so aren't insured, or people who have gotten married, possiy prematurely, just to get onto their partners insurance.

I have sucked into this for the better part of today, Amanda has been in twitter jail for three times I think and I'm awaiting a blog...This has not ruined my day, but made me aware that lots of people are like me, scared to get sick.

Also, I'd love to live in a world where I wouldn't have to borrow medication from friends and family when I do get sick.

I've always wondered how this got started.
I remember reading a blog about someone who migrated to the states and couldn't understand how parents would not take their kids to the hospital for things like burns and sprains because they couldn't afford to. It makes you wonder how people can function like that


Also, congrats on your engagement! (at least I think that was you??)

[spider jerusalem]

Here in Brazil we have public health care. In theory, it is a wonderful system and works amazingly sometimes. However, this may vary depending where you live. For instance: my aunt got a kidney transplant 4 years ago through the pubic health care. My friend's grandmother died on a hospital queue waiting for a bed, because they got one when was already too late.

[sangrebloom]

I'd like to think we can work out a system that doesn't leave so many people out. 

[imaginary friend]

I have had a really busy week and I am tired as hell. Today was completely go, go goooo from the beginning. It was for my birthday and it was supposed to be fun. And I know I'm just tired as fuck, and I'm going to try to remember the good stuff before I go to bed so I don't have bad dreams, because I know it wasn't all bad or anything.
I love my family. They're one of the most important things in my life. They drive me absolutely mad though. I tried to have my older sister and her boyfriend join my Dad's half of the family (him, his wife, and his stepson) and I today, after we got done with my Mom's half (which is really just her). Which did happen, for once, she didn't make an excuse. But I wish she did, because it sucked my last reserve to try to balance the two of them. Her and her boyfriend hate my Dad and his wife, although she would claim she doesn't. Hate might be a strong word, but it's close, anyway. They think very very poorly of them. It was very exhausting, being pulled in two places. It was very exhausting, trying to make her and her boyfriend understand that I like my Dad and his wife, even though they stress me out. They don't get that I care about them. They disrespect them constantly in front of me. It's fucking rude.
I was in the middle constantly when I was a child. I'm the middle child, so it's probably some sort of shit fate or something. I usually put myself there. When I got older and decided to get better and stop letting my family eat me, I stopped. And it seems I've been put back there, rather inadvertently. I hate it and I'm tired.
And I don't know what to do about the holidays, coming up.
I love the holidays, but I'm really overwhelmed from just everything with my birthday, and I don't want to handle everything for the holidays... although I won't be balancing it with school then, at least.
Speaking of, I have to wake up and get up tomorrow and go to the fucking art museum for my fucking art appreciation class. I use fucking in the most exhausted sense of the word, I'm trying to put some anger in it but it's not working. I am tired, and I want to stay home. I don't do well if I don't have one day to recuperate, at least, before throwing myself back at the world. I'm not strong, and I can't do this. I can't do this whole fucking life thing. And I can feel myself slipping, when I get pushed a bit like this.

And I feel like I always come on here and post negative shit so now I'm going to go post funny happy things somewhere. So there.

 

[Savannah]

I have had a really busy week and I am tired as hell. Today was completely go, go goooo from the beginning. It was for my birthday and it was supposed to be fun. And I know I'm just tired as fuck, and I'm going to try to remember the good stuff before I go to bed so I don't have bad dreams, because I know it wasn't all bad or anything.
I love my family. They're one of the most important things in my life. They drive me absolutely mad though. I tried to have my older sister and her boyfriend join my Dad's half of the family (him, his wife, and his stepson) and I today, after we got done with my Mom's half (which is really just her). Which did happen, for once, she didn't make an excuse. But I wish she did, because it sucked my last reserve to try to balance the two of them. Her and her boyfriend hate my Dad and his wife, although she would claim she doesn't. Hate might be a strong word, but it's close, anyway. They think very very poorly of them. It was very exhausting, being pulled in two places. It was very exhausting, trying to make her and her boyfriend understand that I like my Dad and his wife, even though they stress me out. They don't get that I care about them. They disrespect them constantly in front of me. It's fucking rude.
I was in the middle constantly when I was a child. I'm the middle child, so it's probably some sort of shit fate or something. I usually put myself there. When I got older and decided to get better and stop letting my family eat me, I stopped. And it seems I've been put back there, rather inadvertently. I hate it and I'm tired.
And I don't know what to do about the holidays, coming up.
I love the holidays, but I'm really overwhelmed from just everything with my birthday, and I don't want to handle everything for the holidays... although I won't be balancing it with school then, at least.
Speaking of, I have to wake up and get up tomorrow and go to the fucking art museum for my fucking art appreciation class. I use fucking in the most exhausted sense of the word, I'm trying to put some anger in it but it's not working. I am tired, and I want to stay home. I don't do well if I don't have one day to recuperate, at least, before throwing myself back at the world. I'm not strong, and I can't do this. I can't do this whole fucking life thing. And I can feel myself slipping, when I get pushed a bit like this.

And I feel like I always come on here and post negative shit so now I'm going to go post funny happy things somewhere. So there.

 

Happy birthday 

[Annebelle.]

Fucking school stressing me out. I would've never started this education if I had know it was going to be like this. I would've already quit if I could. But I'm not a quiter, I tend to finish what I start.

I'm so stressed out that I took 2 baths in the past week. I never take baths, I only shower.

 

[Marionette26]

'Fraid you've got the birthday thing pegged....  Sorry. 
(Unless, of course, you want to spend your own money - we grown-ups get to hold
our own birthday parties at whatever restaurant we want, as long as we're willing at
least to take the chance that we might have to pay the check.)

Also, murdering family at major holidays, no matter how much they may deserve it,
is generally frowned-upon.  You should probably stick with mild sedatives and mood-
enhancers, but only ones you've tested and can predict the reactions - The E.R. will
have plenty of guests without your gang showing up with a rowdy drug-reaction case.

It's not even where or what we do, it's how they act..
And I can get my hands on benzos (and it's even in a legal manner) very easily, so I could probably just bake something with lots of chocolate in it and grind up some of those and bake them in. Except I don't know how they would react to baking, and I'd have to get the ratio right. And my Dad is a hypochondriac and takes a ton of medication, and those might react with one of them. Ah well, I'll work something out. It might take a few test runs.

[Marionette26]

I have had a really busy week and I am tired as hell. Today was completely go, go goooo from the beginning. It was for my birthday and it was supposed to be fun. And I know I'm just tired as fuck, and I'm going to try to remember the good stuff before I go to bed so I don't have bad dreams, because I know it wasn't all bad or anything.
I love my family. They're one of the most important things in my life. They drive me absolutely mad though. I tried to have my older sister and her boyfriend join my Dad's half of the family (him, his wife, and his stepson) and I today, after we got done with my Mom's half (which is really just her). Which did happen, for once, she didn't make an excuse. But I wish she did, because it sucked my last reserve to try to balance the two of them. Her and her boyfriend hate my Dad and his wife, although she would claim she doesn't. Hate might be a strong word, but it's close, anyway. They think very very poorly of them. It was very exhausting, being pulled in two places. It was very exhausting, trying to make her and her boyfriend understand that I like my Dad and his wife, even though they stress me out. They don't get that I care about them. They disrespect them constantly in front of me. It's fucking rude.
I was in the middle constantly when I was a child. I'm the middle child, so it's probably some sort of shit fate or something. I usually put myself there. When I got older and decided to get better and stop letting my family eat me, I stopped. And it seems I've been put back there, rather inadvertently. I hate it and I'm tired.
And I don't know what to do about the holidays, coming up.
I love the holidays, but I'm really overwhelmed from just everything with my birthday, and I don't want to handle everything for the holidays... although I won't be balancing it with school then, at least.
Speaking of, I have to wake up and get up tomorrow and go to the fucking art museum for my fucking art appreciation class. I use fucking in the most exhausted sense of the word, I'm trying to put some anger in it but it's not working. I am tired, and I want to stay home. I don't do well if I don't have one day to recuperate, at least, before throwing myself back at the world. I'm not strong, and I can't do this. I can't do this whole fucking life thing. And I can feel myself slipping, when I get pushed a bit like this.

And I feel like I always come on here and post negative shit so now I'm going to go post funny happy things somewhere. So there.

 

Happy birthday 

Thank you both! <3

[Indja]

My fucking hard-drive just fucking broke for no fucking reason what the fuck. Not being a techy person at *all*, I have no idea what to do. I mean literally it was sitting in quite happily just nobbing along and then it suddenly wasn't recognised and was beeping for no reason. There's nothing too vital in it but that's not really the point. It had all my iTunes stuff on, for one, which is annoying. I can redownload it all, but still. Guh.