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[Cirque]

This didn't ruin my today, it was a few days ago but I never made the post I was going to.

I have a friend, ex-crush, who will be referred to as F. He's the guy I went an outdoor screening of Nosferatu with, he's originally Iranian. He's...kind of a difficult person, sometimes he just comes across as an asshole. Around the time I had a crush on him I had recently stopped seeing a guy who will here be K. He was a good bit older than me but we got on really well, sometimes he gets on my nerves a little because he often seems a little...I'm not sure if immature is the word, he makes awkward jokes and stuff and makes references about things that the person he's talking to clearly isn't going to understand. Anyway, F and K did not like each other at all.
F is a graphic design student in his second year and would keep giving K advice about his website, K is an art school graduate, qualified art teacher and other things (my memory is awful), this pissed K off because it seemed a little invasive. To put it simply, their personalities clashed. They would constantly get into stupid catty fights over facebook comments on a status or photo of mine, I wanted to turn the hose on them. I had to constantly tell them to stop talking to each other and justify to one of them why I was friends with the other. They would make horrible comments about each other while talking to me, which I always had to reply to with "Please don't start, you know he's my friend". Eventually I got them to delete each other and stop interacting.

At New Years I went to a party in my dates apartment. He's from Brazil as are the rest of his flatmates, there's a mysterious amount of Brazilian people in Dublin and I happen to be friends with a lot. There was one other Irish person at this party. A group photo was taken and when it was uploaded to Facebook, F commented saying "are you the only white person here?" I laughed and said "There was one other! he's just not in the picture". Then somehow F turned it into "You have to stop hanging out with these people, they're a drain on society". This photo was hosted on one of their profiles and had everyone tagged in it, so obviously it turned into a big gross insult flinging fight. Which leaves me having to explain to people why I'm friends with F, and having to be angry at him. I had a conversation with him where I told him that when he acts like that he puts me in a awkward position. His response was basically "I don't know them, I don't care if I offend them". I do know them, they're my friends. And when he offends my friends that puts me in a fucking horrible position of having to apologise for him because he won't do it himself. He deleted all his comments eventually.

I don't want to have to stop being his friend, but if I continue having to justify my hanging out with him to other people because of what an ass he is to the rest of my friends, then I'll have to stop.

Why are people so fucking complicated?

[absynth aura]

^That really does suck.
I had a friend like that through high school.
In the end I stopped hanging out with him, and talking to him regularly.
We do still talk, but he hasn't changed, still as frustrating as ever.
It doesn't sound like he's going to make an effort to be less invasive of that group of your friends.
Maybe the best is to try as hard as you can to keep them distant, but if he doesn't become sensitive to your position, then you're probably going to have to stop being his friend, which would suck as well.

[Agonistes]

resident evil 5.


stop it, milla.  you're better than this.

[Marionette26]

^Why do you think she's better than this?

[Miranda.]

resident evil 5.


stop it, milla.  you're better than this.

I have to agree.

[Mister Sahara]

This didn't ruin my today, it was a few days ago but I never made the post I was going to.

I have a friend, ex-crush, who will be referred to as F. He's the guy I went an outdoor screening of Nosferatu with, he's originally Iranian. He's...kind of a difficult person, sometimes he just comes across as an asshole. Around the time I had a crush on him I had recently stopped seeing a guy who will here be K. He was a good bit older than me but we got on really well, sometimes he gets on my nerves a little because he often seems a little...I'm not sure if immature is the word, he makes awkward jokes and stuff and makes references about things that the person he's talking to clearly isn't going to understand. Anyway, F and K did not like each other at all.
F is a graphic design student in his second year and would keep giving K advice about his website, K is an art school graduate, qualified art teacher and other things (my memory is awful), this pissed K off because it seemed a little invasive. To put it simply, their personalities clashed. They would constantly get into stupid catty fights over facebook comments on a status or photo of mine, I wanted to turn the hose on them. I had to constantly tell them to stop talking to each other and justify to one of them why I was friends with the other. They would make horrible comments about each other while talking to me, which I always had to reply to with "Please don't start, you know he's my friend". Eventually I got them to delete each other and stop interacting.

At New Years I went to a party in my dates apartment. He's from Brazil as are the rest of his flatmates, there's a mysterious amount of Brazilian people in Dublin and I happen to be friends with a lot. There was one other Irish person at this party. A group photo was taken and when it was uploaded to Facebook, F commented saying "are you the only white person here?" I laughed and said "There was one other! he's just not in the picture". Then somehow F turned it into "You have to stop hanging out with these people, they're a drain on society". This photo was hosted on one of their profiles and had everyone tagged in it, so obviously it turned into a big gross insult flinging fight. Which leaves me having to explain to people why I'm friends with F, and having to be angry at him. I had a conversation with him where I told him that when he acts like that he puts me in a awkward position. His response was basically "I don't know them, I don't care if I offend them". I do know them, they're my friends. And when he offends my friends that puts me in a fucking horrible position of having to apologise for him because he won't do it himself. He deleted all his comments eventually.

I don't want to have to stop being his friend, but if I continue having to justify my hanging out with him to other people because of what an ass he is to the rest of my friends, then I'll have to stop.

Why are people so fucking complicated?

"I don't know them, I don't care if I offend them"
but if he offends your firends he also offends you...not least by questioning your decision with whom to be friends with. sorry i have nothing helpful to offer you, but such statements really piss me off, even though i don't know anybody involved, hah. maybe he's just jealous?

[Miranda.]

Spent money on a hotel and a butt load of alchohol for my sisters 21st bday. Everything is fine sister is having a great time then her gf get pissy about... Nothing as far as I can tell & takes her in the hall where they both cry and whatever & then come back in the room like nothing happened and my mood is totally ruined and now I feel like I've wasted a few hundred dollars.


Edit: now sister is trying to drink again & her gf is babying her and telling her she doesn't need to drink anymore until she has eaten something. I would understand if she were being super drunk or sloppy but she's barely even drunk. She's only had enough to drink to be a little silly and her gf has had almost as much as her. It's pissing me off. She always gets mad at my sister when she has fun or when she feels like she's having fun without her.

[sangrebloom]

:-( I'm sorry that the level of bitchiness is high in your area...maybe you can take shelter and ride it out?

[Astica]

I'm going to put this in tiny font since it might be upsetting to read because sometimes humans are terrible.
This guy tried to rape someone I know. When she later talked to him about it, he said he didn't really remember it, and then he got really frustrated at her for complaining and yelled at her that her whining was disgusting and she should just stop it. It horrifies me that this guy is acting like a victim of her being mean rather than seeing that she has a pretty legitimate reason for being upset. It's not the first time that he's told her she should be embarrassed or ashamed of herself for being upset or annoyed at him over something like this. Unfortunately it's not my business, and I'm in no real position of influence to talk her into getting rid of him in some way or other. Just needed to vent here.

Also, one of the friends I mentioned earlier is almost certainly confirmed to not want to be my friend anymore, which makes me really quite upset. I don't know why, and I don't know how to talk to her about it, since she doesn't seem interested in meeting/talking to me without everyone else around.

[Indja]

I'm going to put this in tiny font since it might be upsetting to read because sometimes humans are terrible.
This guy tried to rape someone I know. When she later talked to him about it, he said he didn't really remember it, and then he got really frustrated at her for complaining and yelled at her that her whining was disgusting and she should just stop it. It horrifies me that this guy is acting like a victim of her being mean rather than seeing that she has a pretty legitimate reason for being upset. It's not the first time that he's told her she should be embarrassed or ashamed of herself for being upset or annoyed at him over something like this. Unfortunately it's not my business, and I'm in no real position of influence to talk her into getting rid of him in some way or other. Just needed to vent here.

Also, one of the friends I mentioned earlier is almost certainly confirmed to not want to be my friend anymore, which makes me really quite upset. I don't know why, and I don't know how to talk to her about it, since she doesn't seem interested in meeting/talking to me without everyone else around.

Jesus fuck, honey, that is every flavour of fucked up. I'm sorry you can't do more to help her.

Also, your 'friend' sound like a cunt. You'll always have friends here xxx

[sangrebloom]

I'm going to put this in tiny font since it might be upsetting to read because sometimes humans are terrible.
This guy tried to rape someone I know. When she later talked to him about it, he said he didn't really remember it, and then he got really frustrated at her for complaining and yelled at her that her whining was disgusting and she should just stop it. It horrifies me that this guy is acting like a victim of her being mean rather than seeing that she has a pretty legitimate reason for being upset. It's not the first time that he's told her she should be embarrassed or ashamed of herself for being upset or annoyed at him over something like this. Unfortunately it's not my business, and I'm in no real position of influence to talk her into getting rid of him in some way or other. Just needed to vent here.

Also, one of the friends I mentioned earlier is almost certainly confirmed to not want to be my friend anymore, which makes me really quite upset. I don't know why, and I don't know how to talk to her about it, since she doesn't seem interested in meeting/talking to me without everyone else around.

Jesus fuck, honey, that is every flavour of fucked up. I'm sorry you can't do more to help her.

Also, your 'friend' sound like a cunt. You'll always have friends here xxx

Agreed, that is really a shitty situation...and your former friend is an ass, what's wrong with giving you a bit of closure?

[Shaeon]

My step dad died right before Thanksgiving. Today is my mom's birthday. When I talked to her on the phone this afternoon, she was drunk, and it was a roller coaster of a conversation. Really upsetting. She's not doing a good job of understanding that me and my sisters are coping with loss too. She kept telling me she misses him so much and that I don't understand, I said I miss him too, and she yelled "yeah but it's worse for me!" Sucked. Very frustrating to be so frustrated with my mom at a time like this.

[sangrebloom]

That really sucks. I'm sorry about your loss.
:-(  I hope things get easier for all of you.

[Shaeon]

I'm coping pretty well with the loss. The hard part is coping with Mom. I want to be kind to her and empathetic, but it is hard. She told me yesterday that it's not fair that he should die and she should live because he was always healthier than her. I tried to say that's not how it works, but she kept shouting about it not being fair, and finally I said "you know, I'm your daughter and I can't be the one you tell that to." I didn't know what else to say to her.

I want her to go to therapy, but of course when I say that, she suddenly wants to say "oh no, it's not that bad." I did point out yesterday that it's not fair for her to dump these hard feelings on me and my sisters instead of seeing a professional, when we're grieving too. Not sure how much that gets through when she's drunk. Also kind of sucks to want very badly to remain empathetic, when I'm not getting a lot of empathy in return.

ARGH. Anyway. About to email her because hey, she's probably sober now. Thanks for your kind words, sangrebloom.

[Miranda.]

I'm getting some kind of cold/allergy idk what but it comes complete with sore throat, runny nose/congestion (how does that even happen?), and a sweet sinus headache/migraine type thing. You guys should get in on this!