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[l i s a]

the day ruined my day, getting out of bed ruined my day, realising how much i don't know and don't remember of my school work ruined my day because i have four weeks until my first VCE (aka HSC) Exam and i can't focus on studying at the moment because in June, my step Pa died, in August, my Pop died, and today i  got told that my favourite great aunty only has day to live. I'm so stressed out, everything is piling up on top of each other before the most important exams of my life. 

[Pope Totalfrog]

the day ruined my day, getting out of bed ruined my day, realising how much i don't know and don't remember of my school work ruined my day because i have four weeks until my first VCE (aka HSC) Exam and i can't focus on studying at the moment because in June, my step Pa died, in August, my Pop died, and today i  got told that my favourite great aunty only has day to live. I'm so stressed out, everything is piling up on top of each other before the most important exams of my life. 

They aren't the most important exams of your life. Teachers may tell you that but it isn't true. The truth is that the worst thing that could happen is that you get a lower mark than you anticipated and you can't get into the uni course you wanted straight out of school.

You could work for a year or two or go to TAFE for a year and then you could apply.

I remember being all stressed out about my exams too. It sucks. Spend a few days not studying and come back to it when you are a bit calmer. Anxiety won't help you learn.

[l i s a]

the day ruined my day, getting out of bed ruined my day, realising how much i don't know and don't remember of my school work ruined my day because i have four weeks until my first VCE (aka HSC) Exam and i can't focus on studying at the moment because in June, my step Pa died, in August, my Pop died, and today i  got told that my favourite great aunty only has day to live. I'm so stressed out, everything is piling up on top of each other before the most important exams of my life. 

They aren't the most important exams of your life. Teachers may tell you that but it isn't true. The truth is that the worst thing that could happen is that you get a lower mark than you anticipated and you can't get into the uni course you wanted straight out of school.

You could work for a year or two or go to TAFE for a year and then you could apply.

I remember being all stressed out about my exams too. It sucks. Spend a few days not studying and come back to it when you are a bit calmer. Anxiety won't help you learn.

I just don't want to disappoint my Nan (which is really stupid because (if you've seen my tweets about her calling my cousin fat and being a bitch to mum) i really have strong feelings of dislike towards her at the moment)
Tomorrow i am going to school for an hour and then coming home and not doing anything i hope it works

[Mandolin Rain]

Today is my father's birthday.
I have abandonment issues because he denied the fact that he was my father
and i had to go through DNA testing to prove he was my father...
and then never got to meet him until i was 19 and knocked on his door to meet him myself.

i made an effort today to wish him a happy birthday, thrice.
he never returned my text, call or facebook message.
it made me feel like total shit.

i needed someone to hold me. reached out to my loverboy,
and he told me he didn't feel like having company.
i have been crying for an hour now.

i wish these feelings would go away.

[CeeGBee]

Today is my father's birthday.
I have abandonment issues because he denied the fact that he was my father
and i had to go through DNA testing to prove he was my father...
and then never got to meet him until i was 19 and knocked on his door to meet him myself.

i made an effort today to wish him a happy birthday, thrice.
he never returned my text, call or facebook message.
it made me feel like total shit.

i needed someone to hold me. reached out to my loverboy,
and he told me he didn't feel like having company.
i have been crying for an hour now.

i wish these feelings would go away.

Sorry to hear that the "men" in your life kinda suck.
I hope the boyfriend at least will get with the program....

[Mandolin Rain]

Sorry to hear that the "men" in your life kinda suck.
I hope the boyfriend at least will get with the program....

We spoke on the phone for a long while this evening.
he's having some issues of his own.
it was good to have some emotional support, even when he is down in the dumps as well.
he advised me to cut off contact with my father, since he causes me so much pain and turmoil, emotionally.
even though i'm still feeling like crap, he got me to stop crying.

[Savannah]

Sorry to hear that the "men" in your life kinda suck.
I hope the boyfriend at least will get with the program....

We spoke on the phone for a long while this evening.
he's having some issues of his own.
it was good to have some emotional support, even when he is down in the dumps as well.
he advised me to cut off contact with my father, since he causes me so much pain and turmoil, emotionally.
even though i'm still feeling like crap, he got me to stop crying.

Mandolin, i've read your previous post too. I don't know what to say, except of "i really do understand you.".
And when the father sucks, having someone to talk at least makes you feel a little better.
I also have many problems with my father, including a lawcase between him and i. I tried to keep in touch with him but it doesn't work. Each time i talk to him he manages to make me feel like shit. He keeps talking about her wife who doesn't want us to talk.
And i decided not to give a damn about him anoymore either. Because even talking to him on the phone makes me sick, a simple birthday celebration turns into something like "i want you to visit us but we don't have an empty room, i want to buy you a graduation present but the kids are going to kindergarten and it's too expensive, my wife wants you to blah blah, i phoned you 3 times last month but you phoned me 2 times" etc.

He keeps making up excuses, and blames me for everything. So i told him "I don't want anything from you, no allowance, no care, no phone calls, no what your wife thinks. I don't want to see you anymore, you haven't been here when i had an operation, you haven't been here when i graduated, so you don't need to be here when i get married or give birth or die."

Since then i feel better. All that complications and drama has gone. Though sometimes i feel like i need some support or care, i know that half care is not better than non.

Anyway, what i experienced with my parents aside, i want you to know that i'm always here to talk to you. And i understand how you feel.

[marie_x]

Broken.
Fucking.
Heart.

[Indja]

I want to watch Buffy like a muthafucka and all my VHS's are in England and I don't think I've got room on my computer to download even like a series, and Seamy doesn't get the channels that it sometimes shows on. Grr.

EDIT - OK, so now I'm bidding war on eBay for the complete DVD collection. It ends in half an hour, I'm the current high-bidder, and as long as it stays roughly where it is, it should be at least £30 less than RRP, possibly up to half. So excited.

EDIT - DON'T THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME, e***1 ! I HAVE A STUDENT LOAN BURNING A HOLE IN MY BANK ACCOUNT, AND NOTHING TO DO FOR THE NEXT HALF AN HOUR BUT KICK YOUR ARSE.

[Cirque]

Dear D,
Think you can ignore me in the bar like that?
oh no, I don't think so. I'm aware it was always a casual arrangement.
But I don't get ignored.

Dear Sean,
Think you can criticise my life choices?
Fuck you, Tweet that you cunt.
-Shane

[Mandolin Rain]

Sorry to hear that the "men" in your life kinda suck.
I hope the boyfriend at least will get with the program....

We spoke on the phone for a long while this evening.
he's having some issues of his own.
it was good to have some emotional support, even when he is down in the dumps as well.
he advised me to cut off contact with my father, since he causes me so much pain and turmoil, emotionally.
even though i'm still feeling like crap, he got me to stop crying.

Mandolin, i've read your previous post too. I don't know what to say, except of "i really do understand you.".
And when the father sucks, having someone to talk at least makes you feel a little better.
I also have many problems with my father, including a lawcase between him and i. I tried to keep in touch with him but it doesn't work. Each time i talk to him he manages to make me feel like shit. He keeps talking about her wife who doesn't want us to talk.
And i decided not to give a damn about him anoymore either. Because even talking to him on the phone makes me sick, a simple birthday celebration turns into something like "i want you to visit us but we don't have an empty room, i want to buy you a graduation present but the kids are going to kindergarten and it's too expensive, my wife wants you to blah blah, i phoned you 3 times last month but you phoned me 2 times" etc.

He keeps making up excuses, and blames me for everything. So i told him "I don't want anything from you, no allowance, no care, no phone calls, no what your wife thinks. I don't want to see you anymore, you haven't been here when i had an operation, you haven't been here when i graduated, so you don't need to be here when i get married or give birth or die."

Since then i feel better. All that complications and drama has gone. Though sometimes i feel like i need some support or care, i know that half care is not better than non.

Anyway, what i experienced with my parents aside, i want you to know that i'm always here to talk to you. And i understand how you feel.

Sounds about the same as the situation I'm in.
He takes good care of my siblings, who are all "legitimate."
I am left to fend for myself and he gives me birthday/christmas presents, but i really don't give a fuck about that.
I had two surgeries this year, and he never even so much as called to see how i was doing.
It hurts....
but i'm pretty sure it will be like removing a band aid from a wound and giving it some fresh air if i cut ties.
Thank you for your offer. I appreciate that. It's always nice to have someone around who understands the situation because they've lived through it. My boyfriend understands  my pain. He's never lived through it, but when I put it to him like this, "imagine the worst rejection you've ever felt from a woman in your life, and multiply it by a hundred. this is how i feel right now,'' he understood. This is why he wants me to cut ties. He has seen me in so much pain countless times because of my father. If I cut that tie, perhaps the pain will dissipate.

[absynth aura]

I want to watch Buffy like a muthafucka and all my VHS's are in England and I don't think I've got room on my computer to download even like a series, and Seamy doesn't get the channels that it sometimes shows on. Grr.

EDIT - OK, so now I'm bidding war on eBay for the complete DVD collection. It ends in half an hour, I'm the current high-bidder, and as long as it stays roughly where it is, it should be at least £30 less than RRP, possibly up to half. So excited.

EDIT - DON'T THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME, e***1 ! I HAVE A STUDENT LOAN BURNING A HOLE IN MY BANK ACCOUNT, AND NOTHING TO DO FOR THE NEXT HALF AN HOUR BUT KICK YOUR ARSE.

I think the burning question here is, did you win?

[Indja]

I want to watch Buffy like a muthafucka and all my VHS's are in England and I don't think I've got room on my computer to download even like a series, and Seamy doesn't get the channels that it sometimes shows on. Grr.

EDIT - OK, so now I'm bidding war on eBay for the complete DVD collection. It ends in half an hour, I'm the current high-bidder, and as long as it stays roughly where it is, it should be at least £30 less than RRP, possibly up to half. So excited.

EDIT - DON'T THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME, e***1 ! I HAVE A STUDENT LOAN BURNING A HOLE IN MY BANK ACCOUNT, AND NOTHING TO DO FOR THE NEXT HALF AN HOUR BUT KICK YOUR ARSE.

I think the burning question here is, did you win?

You're fucking right I did!! It ended up being slightly more than you'd pay for if you bought it second hand off Amazon, but the cheapest 2nd hand Amazon one is in "Good" condition whereas this is "Like New". I also had waaaay more fun on eBay than I would have just buying it normally, so I think the couple of extra quid was worth it xD

[absynth aura]

I want to watch Buffy like a muthafucka and all my VHS's are in England and I don't think I've got room on my computer to download even like a series, and Seamy doesn't get the channels that it sometimes shows on. Grr.

EDIT - OK, so now I'm bidding war on eBay for the complete DVD collection. It ends in half an hour, I'm the current high-bidder, and as long as it stays roughly where it is, it should be at least £30 less than RRP, possibly up to half. So excited.

EDIT - DON'T THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME, e***1 ! I HAVE A STUDENT LOAN BURNING A HOLE IN MY BANK ACCOUNT, AND NOTHING TO DO FOR THE NEXT HALF AN HOUR BUT KICK YOUR ARSE.

I think the burning question here is, did you win?

You're fucking right I did!! It ended up being slightly more than you'd pay for if you bought it second hand off Amazon, but the cheapest 2nd hand Amazon one is in "Good" condition whereas this is "Like New". I also had waaaay more fun on eBay than I would have just buying it normally, so I think the couple of extra quid was worth it xD

It always is. The fight to the last second is much more satisfying.

[Savannah]

Sorry to hear that the "men" in your life kinda suck.
I hope the boyfriend at least will get with the program....

We spoke on the phone for a long while this evening.
he's having some issues of his own.
it was good to have some emotional support, even when he is down in the dumps as well.
he advised me to cut off contact with my father, since he causes me so much pain and turmoil, emotionally.
even though i'm still feeling like crap, he got me to stop crying.

Mandolin, i've read your previous post too. I don't know what to say, except of "i really do understand you.".
And when the father sucks, having someone to talk at least makes you feel a little better.
I also have many problems with my father, including a lawcase between him and i. I tried to keep in touch with him but it doesn't work. Each time i talk to him he manages to make me feel like shit. He keeps talking about her wife who doesn't want us to talk.
And i decided not to give a damn about him anoymore either. Because even talking to him on the phone makes me sick, a simple birthday celebration turns into something like "i want you to visit us but we don't have an empty room, i want to buy you a graduation present but the kids are going to kindergarten and it's too expensive, my wife wants you to blah blah, i phoned you 3 times last month but you phoned me 2 times" etc.

He keeps making up excuses, and blames me for everything. So i told him "I don't want anything from you, no allowance, no care, no phone calls, no what your wife thinks. I don't want to see you anymore, you haven't been here when i had an operation, you haven't been here when i graduated, so you don't need to be here when i get married or give birth or die."

Since then i feel better. All that complications and drama has gone. Though sometimes i feel like i need some support or care, i know that half care is not better than non.

Anyway, what i experienced with my parents aside, i want you to know that i'm always here to talk to you. And i understand how you feel.

Sounds about the same as the situation I'm in.
He takes good care of my siblings, who are all "legitimate."
I am left to fend for myself and he gives me birthday/christmas presents, but i really don't give a fuck about that.
I had two surgeries this year, and he never even so much as called to see how i was doing.
It hurts....
but i'm pretty sure it will be like removing a band aid from a wound and giving it some fresh air if i cut ties.
Thank you for your offer. I appreciate that. It's always nice to have someone around who understands the situation because they've lived through it. My boyfriend understands  my pain. He's never lived through it, but when I put it to him like this, "imagine the worst rejection you've ever felt from a woman in your life, and multiply it by a hundred. this is how i feel right now,'' he understood. This is why he wants me to cut ties. He has seen me in so much pain countless times because of my father. If I cut that tie, perhaps the pain will dissipate.

I don't give a damn about people when they say "but it's your father, you have his blood in your veins", i don't feel myself like his daughter and he is not the father i'd like to have. And i'm sure this feeling is mutual.
So, people who don't have any idea about how you feel will make some unnecessary comments and suggestions, but i think the best thing to do is doing it the way that makes you feel better.

As for the cutting the ties, it works good for me. I don't know whether you are ready to do so or it may help you too. But you don't owe him anything just because he's your father, and i'm sure it may give him some time to think about what a terrible father he has been, and maybe he tries not to be a terrible person next time he finds a chance to talk to you.