i feel that i'm really growing apart from my best friend (of 9 years now, wow). basically, most times now i think she's just being a bitch.
she's always been a super-insecure girl, but now she has started even more bashing everything and everyone (except her superthin new friends that she WORSHIPS),
and most times it just sounds she has to make that sneery comment just to show how superior she is.
like criticizing everything i like... it's just a lot of small things, like i'm super happy that meryl won the oscar cause i loved her in that movie,
and she has to tell me ''that movie was shit'' blabla... or she starts her love declarations on how successful her friends are...
what pisses me off is that she knows i'm always there for her so i'm the one who always has to help her through all her shit,
and hear all her rants, and go to concerts with her...
i feel really taken for granted, but (though she DID put herself in these situations) she has a lot on her plate with a guy, and uni,
and i know she would take it really bad if i told her all this.....
and i don't want to hurt her but i can't stand people being so mean on purpose!
Syl, i'm sorry for your friendship. This happened to me with some of my old friends. Some of them, i have left alone, and months later they understood where they'd gone wrong and they either went to their separate ways, or tried to fix the things. I usually grow apart and put the freeze on such people without notice, so i could leave an open door for them just in case they might understand they'd offended me and try to find a way to make thing right.
As far as i see, now she's not in a condition that she could understand how bad the things she does effect your friendship, or what makes you grow apart from her. So i suggest you leave her to solve her problems by herself and after a while she'll have time to reconsider and worry about the friendship between you and her.
I have a pretty similar thing going on right now. I feel like my best friend has started being really condescending towards me since she and her girlfriend got back together. She knows I have had some shitty situations with guys in the past six months but this isn't sympathy, it's more like pity. She keeps on with this "You know you don't have to do anything you don't want to do"...Well yes, I do have free will. Then she's never convinced I'm having a good time when we're out. On New Years eve I just shouted at her "What the fuck do I have to do to prove to you I'm having a good time?", I think a lot of people were pretty shocked because we've never fought before and I've never shouted at her.
Then there's the fact that she can't seem to get that I have obligations. She dropped out of her course recently and she's unemployed so she's got all the time in the world on her hands, but she doesn't seem concerned that I don't.
"Come to the Dragon tonight!"
"It's Thursday I can't, 9am classes tomorrow"
"Oh just skip them, it's only college"
"Yeah I can't miss any production classes, I'll lose percentage for even missing one"
"Oh fine, whatever"
I can't wait until she's back in college next year and has a heavy timetable, so I can pester her to come out and she'll have to decline.
We haven't been out together in like 3 weeks because she's bored of the club we always go to on friday. I get that she's bored of it, but that's kind of because she's in a relationship so every week is the same for her whereas for me and other friends each week is different. Frankly I prefer going out without her because I don't have to deal with "Don't do anything you don't want to" crap.
I'm also tired of her breaking plans to see her girlfriend. I see her now maybe once a week (but less now that she doesn't come out on fridays) but she sees her girlfriend pretty much every day. Relationship I completely understand, she wants to see her as much as possible. Power to them, but don't cancel plans with me.