^Oh honey, I'm sorry
Does your course do that really fucking stupid thing where a resit can only be worth a maximum of 40%?
My day's been ruined once again by my father. I'm actually a little shocked - I keep thinking he'll run out of ways, and then he just twists the knife a little more. He emailed me this morning saying he was putting my bank letters together to forward to me, and he decided that he didn't want me using his house as my home address any more. He said we negotiated a deal when I moved in when I was 12 that he thinks we've both broken sufficient times to render it void - because that's what family is, of course, it's business transactions and upholding contracts. He finally
acknowledged that he had a part to play in the break-down of this relationship, and says he accepts that he behaved "unpredictably and unforgivably", which fucked me right off because it's up to me to decide whether or not his behaviour towards me is forgivable or not. He didn't apologise, I'd like to point out - he is the fucking master of saying an awful lot of stuff that sounds a bit like an apology but isn't. He also accepts that this is "very badly timed", which baffles me because surely he knows I'm not coming home until July and could have waited to drop this on me until after I'm done with my exams.
Finally he finished up saying "I do hope that in time we will be able to get back on a more normal footing as, curiously, I find I do still love you very much." Yeah, it's a curious fucking thing, this 'unconditional love' thing. Fucking, fucking cunt. I can't even get my head round how much I hate him right now. He's constructed an entire fucking feud completely on his own steam and left me without a fucking leg to stand on.
Anyway, I told him I can't deal with this now, I'm up to my eyeballs in revision so it's going to have to wait a while. I don't even know what to do about it. I'll have to get my stuff out of his house, I suppose, and at least I'm moving into my new place in Belfast in July rather than September so that's alright. I don't know if this means I have to tell the student finance people or what. I don't know. I'm just trying to calm down enough to have a shower, and then going to Seamy's because I can't do this on my own.