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[The Great Ma Chao]

Oh Kat.
Give it up - TV is dead.
if you want to be a maverick you gotta do it in your own medium, I think.

Porn pulp fiction with Matt?

I knew I loved you for a reason.

[KittKat]

Oh Kat.
Give it up - TV is dead.
if you want to be a maverick you gotta do it in your own medium, I think.

Porn pulp fiction with Matt?

I knew I loved you for a reason.

INT. HAWTHORNE GRILL AND DINER - DAY

Two surly men sit at a diner booth, each nursing a cup of black coffee and smoking a pack of Apple Brand cigarettes. They gaze around nonchalantly at the drabby, 1970s era decor---orange booths, patterned carpet, faux stone walls.

The younger of the two looks looks into his cup of coffee pensively before finishing the entire mug in one triumphant gulp. He sighs, pleased with himself. It looks as though he hasn't shaved in several days. This man is MATT MACHAO.

Matt takes a long, grubby index finger and wipes it slowly across the vinyl surface of the diner seat.

He speaks with a thick Texan drawl.

                                                            MATT
          Hey, how'd you think this orange would look in the living room?

He glances across the able at his companion, MR. A---middle-aged, mysterious, visibly jaded.

Mr. A takes a long drag of his cigarette, eyeing the bright orange booths around the diner.

                                                           MR. A
         You're fucking kidding me, right?

                                                           MATT
         Why would I be fuckin' kidding you when I asked you a fuckin' serious question, asshole?

                                                           MR. A
         Because you know damn well that Wyatt ain't gonna go for no goddamn fuckin' orange in his goddamn living room!

He angrily extinguishes his cigarette on the booth. The vinyl smokes and hisses beneath the heat of the now spent cigarette.

                                                          MATT
          I don't think you know Wyatt's taste very well then, A. I know Wyatt and I---

Mr. A slams his fist down on the table, rattling the cups of coffee, salt shakers, empty flower vase on its surface.

                                                         MR. A
          Fuck it, man. You don't know shit 'bout Wyatt and where he came from and what he's done---let alone his motherfuckin' decorating taste!

                                                         MATT
          I didn't spend no fifteen hours retiling the motherfucker's bathroom to not learn nothin' about his taste in interior design.

                                                         MR. A
          I can't believe we're havin' this fuckin' argument again, MaChao.

                                                         MATT
          We're only havin' in because you fuckin' started it.

                                                         MR. A
          Ok. I fuckin' started it. But are we gonna do this now, or what?

Matt runs his hands nervously through his hair.

                                                         MATT
           Not unless you agree that Wyatt's living room will look damn fuckin' good with fuckin'...

He struggles to find an appropriate phrase.

                                                        MATT (CONT'D)
           Construction Cone Orange all over the goddamn walls.

                                                        MR. A
            Fuck no.

Matt shakes his head and laughs.

                                                        MATT
            You motherfucker.

                                                        MR. A
            Damn straight.

Unexpectedly, Mr. A and Matt leap up onto the diner tabletop, brandishing two 45's each. They wave them manically around the diner as they scream at the top of their lungs.

                                                       MR. A (CONT'D)
           Everyone put your hands in the fuckin' air!

                                                       MATT
           Sit still you fuckin' assholes or I'll blow your goddamn fuckin' heads off!









*rereads the original post*

Porn pulp fiction with Matt?

Dammit! I got the "Pulp Fiction" but I forgot the porn!

*fails as a screenwriter*


                                                         

[KittKat]

But you gotta admit...It was better than the "Matt and Wyatt" TV pilot.

[Mr. Anagrammatism]

Katrina: some editing!

He glances across the able at his companion, MR. A---middle-aged bewitchingly distinguished, mysterious, visibly jaded dashing.

Mr. A takes a long drag of his cigarette sip of his Dasani bottled tap-water, eyeing the bright orange booths nubiles around the diner.

                                                           MR. A
         You're fucking kidding me, right? I beg your pardon, sir?

                                                           MATT
         Why would I be fuckin' kidding you when I asked you a fuckin' serious question, asshole?

                                                           MR. A
         Because you know damn well that Wyatt ain't gonna go for no goddamn fuckin' orange in his goddamn living room! Matt just leave this to me!

He angrily extinguishes his cigarette on the booth. The vinyl smokes and hisses beneath the heat of the now spent cigarette. He suavely puts his bottled tap water on the counter.  The heat condenses precipitation on the bottle, the counter, and the customers, but Mr. A stays cool. 

                                                          MATT
          I don't think you know Wyatt's taste very well then, A. I know Wyatt and I---

Mr. A slams his fist down on the table, rattling the cups of coffee, salt shakers, empty flower vase on its surface. Mr. A gives Matt a side-ways glance.

                                                         MR. A
          Fuck it, man. You don't know shit 'bout Wyatt and where he came from and what he's done---let alone his motherfuckin' decorating taste!  Matt you're a wise man!

                                                         MATT
          I didn't spend no fifteen hours retiling the motherfucker's bathroom to not learn nothin' about his taste in interior design.

                                                         MR. A
          Reassuringly taps Matt on the shoulder, and exits stage left.

                                                         MATT

Matt runs his hands nervously through his hair.
Turns, glances at the table, and stares in shock and disbelief at the $20 tab Mr A. has left him for bottle tap water.

[The Great Ma Chao]

Oh, fuck. I don't know which is better. A had me laughing to tears, Katrina had me thinking about how badass A and I are. Oh, man. This has to happen.

[KittKat]

Mr. A----Some editing!!!!!

                                                         MR. A
          Reassuringly taps Matt on the shoulder, and exits stage left. is this his dialouge? ummmmm. and you don't do "exit stage left." this is a movie, not a play

                                                         MATT he doesn't say anything here!

Matt runs his hands nervously through his hair.
Turns, glances at the table, and stares in shock and disbelief at the $20 tab Mr A. has left him for bottle tap water.  you need to SHOW not TELL

REPORT CARD:

SCREENWRITING 101: F...minus

And Matt...

You, A, and Wyatt are basically the supreme male rulers of Das Shadowboxen. So this was bound to happen. But, I think I wrote you in as Wyatt's underlings...Hmmm...

Who are the supreme female rulers of the 'box? Drizzle, Katherine and Brittany? But Brittany is never around...So would it be......Caddy? Maybe. I think so.

[The Angel Raliel]

Heroes is ok.
We just had a really good kids programme on called the Sorcerers Apprentice,
which involved taking a bunch of kids, putting them in an old mansion for 3 weeks and teaching them how to become stage magicians. Good reality TV.... it actually encouraged a whole load of otherwise normal British Kids to seriously think about doing creative and imaginitive things rather than hanging around town centres.

[smudge]

Hey at least you Americans dont have Big Brother!!!!! Stick a load of Paris Hilton look-a-likes and freaks into a house together and watch the abuse!

it was a good experiment the first time...but now its just stupid!

[KittKat]

Hey at least you Americans dont have Big Brother!!!!! Stick a load of Paris Hilton look-a-likes and freaks into a house together and watch the abuse!

it was a good experiment the first time...but now its just stupid!

unfortunately, we do.

and i think it's only like, season 2493083250235.

[SeeAnne]

Good tv: Six Feet Under.

I never knew the characters names except for Claire but I watched the show anyway becuase it was really good. and now the man who played the gay brother who was dating that police officer where they adopted those kids who are the police officer's nephews is now playing Dexter in the show Dexter which is kick ass times 1738549234812

Hey at least you Americans dont have Big Brother!!!!! Stick a load of Paris Hilton look-a-likes and freaks into a house together and watch the abuse!

it was a good experiment the first time...but now its just stupid!

and they always add in that random gay guy. that's really dunce.

[yosmark]

Everything everything on MTV

[SeeAnne]

and I've noticed that a lot of cartoons that contain animals as characters always, ALWAYS let the main character have a name meanwhile all his/her friends have names that depict the obvious. example: Franklin the Turtle all his friends names were: bear, duck, goose, Mr. Owl and so on. well not all cartoons with animals have this strange phenomena but a lot of them do. thank-god Arthur isn't like that or else i wouldn't be watching it everyday or that other show.... what's it called?? Timothy Goes to School.

I'll admit I watch t.v. but usually cartoons and stuff on the discovery channel, comedy central mostly cartoons on that channel. basically anything except for gameshows because those gameshows have become really insane. and I hate seeing them when families are being talked to by the hosts and the host will ask "so why do you want to win 1 000 000 dollars?" and the guy will say "well my family is really poor and we really need the money to buy ourselves a house and pay off our debts and help us survive" and at the end they'll only win like a couple hundred bucks, which is good but won't really help that much. its a little bit sad don't you think?

[J_Beck]

TV seems pretty good to me....

Iron Chef is still going strong and Alton Brown has joined me in the bearded non-harley motorcycling community 

Feasting on Asphalt 2 is coming out so more BMW Boxer action around the US combined with good food, what is there not to love (except that Im not the still photographer for the trip)

Project Runway season 4 is coming with Tim Gunn

History Channel is doing a show called the "universe" but I missed the one on the inner planets (my planetary fetish is for venus)

Science Channel is pimping as always and with my soon to be HDTV I will love Discovery even more.

Rescue Me is being amazing as always (what do you expect with dennis leary)

Metalocalypse's 2nd season is coming (as is Dethklok's debut album)

Now for the bad......

Dane Cook is on it anywhere I mean how much worse can you get than him, and hes doing ads for MLB now what kinda BS is this? I know Dennis Leary is already doing the NHL but hell he loves the sox just as much and was in a baseball related ad for mastercard, MLB and the rest of the world wake up, Dane Cook sucks, damn Arlington Kids!!!

[The Great Ma Chao]

<3 Dane

[J_Beck]

<3 Dane

Well kid if you want to hear the truth from not just a bedfordite like myself Ill let fitzy from ricca tell it like it is

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/Y5bl9foy4E8" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/Y5bl9foy4E8</a>

(warning there is massive townie-ness in the video above in the dialect of Billerica/Bedford which includes explicit language)