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Author Topic: Teetotalism  (Read 5059 times)

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SomewhatDamaged

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Re: Teetotalism
« Reply #15 on: July 01, 2008, 03:18:00 PM »


look, look...it was going to be either me or Somehwatty, with the scouser joke....

HEY! I have scouse blood (not much but its in my family) I can't walk past a hubcap without trembling!


[quickly googles 'scouse'...]

Well, his accent is quite reminiscent of that displayed by those other four Liverpudlians of whom most have heard...   
You know, they formed a band, travelled the world, took a lot of drugs, got kicked out of a bunch of countries, married exotic women with odd political agendas...  yeah, those guys. 

Oh, and last I checked, he drove a large, very old (but clean and well-maintained) convertible
with a license plate that read something like  'BLUDY L'  ...



Now then, back to not-drinking with one's friends...

Next time you see him ask him if he is a Red Nose or Blue Nose? He will know what you mean.

As for not drinking with one's friends. My suggestion (& I admit its not a great one) Try drinking a non alcoholic beer. At least with a pint in your hand you may not feel so self conscious. Rightly or wrongly alcohol IS the social fabric in the UK! Your friends should respect your decision tho.
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Kovacs

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Re: Teetotalism
« Reply #16 on: July 01, 2008, 03:38:31 PM »

As for not drinking with one's friends. My suggestion (& I admit its not a great one) Try drinking a non alcoholic beer. At least with a pint in your hand you may not feel so self conscious. Rightly or wrongly alcohol IS the social fabric in the UK! Your friends should respect your decision tho.

Though a good suggestion, the issue I've had with this is you get the "HOLY SHIT YOURE DRINKING WHAT THE FUCK PUT THAT DOWN" reaction, if people know you aren't drinking. It has the opposite effect of what's intended. I tried it once, I just had to explain the damn thing to everyone present. Plus it tasted like shit.  :)

I do always have a drink in my hand though. Force of habit, I tend to take a sip in conversation lulls. I polish off 6-7 drinks by the end of the night, guaranteed. Ideally I try not to drink coke, else I end up jacked up on caffeine for about a week.  :headbang:

Trust me though, no one is looking at you. Any feelings of self-consciousness can be overcome with the right perspective. And if they are, and they really care that much, then that's sort of their problem, isn't it?  :)

Of course, I'm not sure how it works across the pond (am I using that correctly?). I'm kind of curious for more detail to be honest, Paul.

Random story. I asked a friend to get me a tonic. He got me a vodka tonic. I took a sip/gulp, tasted it right away, and spat it back out. No harm no foul. I look to my left, and my roomates staring at me intently (he's mostly in the bag).

Me: Yes?
Him: Nothing.
Me: ....what!
Him: Nothing, I'm just waiting for you to start doing laps around the bar naked or something. That's what I was told would happen.
Me: ...
Him: Nothing? You're not even going to pour your heart out?
Me: *open palm slap to the face*
Him: Fair enough.

(Okay, so the last part was made up, though I have slapped him at least 10 times)

Reactions like that are how friends should act. If they aren't, then...well...
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CeeGBee

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Re: Teetotalism
« Reply #17 on: July 01, 2008, 04:44:46 PM »


look, look...it was going to be either me or Somehwatty, with the scouser joke....

HEY! I have scouse blood (not much but its in my family) I can't walk past a hubcap without trembling!


[quickly googles 'scouse'...]

Well, his accent is quite reminiscent of that displayed by those other four Liverpudlians of whom most have heard...   
You know, they formed a band, travelled the world, took a lot of drugs, got kicked out of a bunch of countries, married exotic women with odd political agendas...  yeah, those guys. 

Oh, and last I checked, he drove a large, very old (but clean and well-maintained) convertible
with a license plate that read something like  'BLUDY L'  ...



Now then, back to not-drinking with one's friends...

Next time you see him ask him if he is a Red Nose or Blue Nose? He will know what you mean.
Is he gonna PUNCH me in the nose for asking?


As for not drinking with one's friends. My suggestion (& I admit its not a great one) Try drinking a non alcoholic beer. At least with a pint in your hand you may not feel so self conscious. Rightly or wrongly alcohol IS the social fabric in the UK! Your friends should respect your decision tho.
Meh, root beer tastes better, looks like a manly porter...  (Good root beer that is.  Hires, A&W? Don't bother)
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SomewhatDamaged

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Re: Teetotalism
« Reply #18 on: July 01, 2008, 06:27:06 PM »


look, look...it was going to be either me or Somehwatty, with the scouser joke....

HEY! I have scouse blood (not much but its in my family) I can't walk past a hubcap without trembling!


[quickly googles 'scouse'...]

Well, his accent is quite reminiscent of that displayed by those other four Liverpudlians of whom most have heard...   
You know, they formed a band, travelled the world, took a lot of drugs, got kicked out of a bunch of countries, married exotic women with odd political agendas...  yeah, those guys. 

Oh, and last I checked, he drove a large, very old (but clean and well-maintained) convertible
with a license plate that read something like  'BLUDY L'  ...



Now then, back to not-drinking with one's friends...

Next time you see him ask him if he is a Red Nose or Blue Nose? He will know what you mean.
Is he gonna PUNCH me in the nose for asking?



No its a safe non offensive question
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Paul

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Re: Teetotalism
« Reply #19 on: July 04, 2008, 09:21:20 PM »

Thanks for your replies. I think though that some of them haven't addressed the situation I'm in. It isn't that I'm concerned that people will see me with a coke in my hand and judge me accordingly, but more to do with the decision to minimise going to pubs and clubs. My concern was that people would tak the easy route and say -

"OK.. We prefer pubs and clubs.. Paul wants us to do other things as he dislikes them... we'll just keep going and not invite him to anything in the future..."
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Kenny Wisdom

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Re: Teetotalism
« Reply #20 on: July 05, 2008, 10:44:07 AM »

Well, in short, I stopped going to the local (well, very infrequently) and I stopped getting invites to things.

I think unfortunately that's just the way it is.

When I get all bitter and twisted about it I have to remind myself that I haven't invited any of the old crowd to anything either.

The road to Mandalay is a two way street, where the flyin' fishes play' .
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Re: Teetotalism
« Reply #21 on: July 07, 2008, 09:32:47 AM »

i hardly drink now, but most of my friends from school still drink heavily, take pills and go to clubs/pubs every weekend.  theyve given up inviting me out to clubs cause ill usually say no because i dont enjoy them and get too tired.  if i go to a gathering ill usually take a bottle of pump and drink that.  i do sometimes find not drinking awkward and wish i could see more of my friends in another environment, but im happier and healthier for not living their lifestyle. 

i would rather find time to spend with friends in places other than a pub/club, than go out and wear myself out just to see them.  if they cant make the time to do that, theyre not worth the effort in my opinon.

good luck :)
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Re: Teetotalism
« Reply #22 on: July 15, 2008, 11:42:56 PM »

My father has been sobre for over 4 years; beforehand, alcohol was a serious problem for him. For a long time, he found it difficult just hanging around with people who still drank. He does now, but he is strong enough to control any urge to drink. Besides, he rarely is without a copious bounty of Arizona brand tea.

Personally, I don't think that you should have to feel threatened (that is, at risk) by friends of yours who still drink or even by the urge to drink. Don't worry—urges like that are perfectly normal. Don't be afraid to reach out for support (a little late now, since you've reached out with this thread), because there will always be someone who shares your struggle. A time will come when you can comfortably go out with friends and family who drink and still be able to maintain your own sobriety. Until that day, find another place at which you and your friends can hang out that isn't a pub. Invite them over to your house sometime. In time, you'll be able to ease yourself back into their idea of a good time without plunging yourself into a glass of brandy. Patience and willpower are key.
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