We don't have Charmin or Cap'n Crunch and what the fuck is a gallon?
Ok... I keep forgetting you live on the fringes of civilisation down there...
A gallon is a unit of measure = 4 quarts (each of which is just a shade less than 1 litre)...
... which = enough pasta sauce to last a normal family a month at least. Here, milk is
often sold in gallon containers.
Charmin = very thin, lightweight paper, which is sold as one looooooong sheet, conveniently
rolled around a cardboard core. A quick google search shows me comparable products sold
as "Xtrasoft" and "Sofeel"... Are these familiar?
Now, if you don't have Cap'n Crunch in your country... I believe that alone may qualify you
for legal-asylum status if you flee to the United States, but you have to bring the kids, or
it'll sort of defeat the purpose. Cap'n Crunch is sugar, carefully stuck together with a few
other "ingredients", vitamin supplements (so they can legally call it "food") and artificial
colours so that it will look like "food". It is generally eaten for breakfast, or a snack any time.