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[spider jerusalem]

Ive just read that "friendzone" is a sexist term. In the same thread, Ive read that guys who are friendzoned and the "mr. nice guys"   are dudes that only want to trade attention and care for sex. And that they DO think this is a trade good. Wonderful how concepts changes over the years.

The first time I read the term "friendzone" and "mr. nice guys" these were terms that would refer to people who would be more introvert and get closer to people they would like something more than only friendship, but then would become "too friend" for the other side have any kind of sexual interest. And because of this issue, would get frustrated over the others' choice regarded their partners: if (s)he is that bad and what (s)he does really hurts you, why the fuck are you still with him?!?!?

but I guess things had changed. or people never really understood introverted personalities and the concept changed over misinterpreted  behavious/situations involving friendzoning.


Facebook,  keep amazing me.


EDIT:

Ive been told by a girl I really liked for a awhile that I was always at her "friend zone" line. So, was she being sexist? I don't think so.

http://wtfniceguys.tumblr.com/post/15207397262/delacroix-imnotyogi-toptumbles-even-worse

^
"But when we’re not interested in someone, we’re vilified. We’re the bitch that lead them on, the bitch who let them buy us dinner but didn’t want to date them, the bitch who doesn’t appreciate a nice guy, the bitch they were nice to and then got nothing in return from."  -- funny stuff I never really thought that after being reject, but in one particular case everyone, including a girl, thought the girl was really interested on me too. But she wasnt. And I was starting to write about this episode of my teenagehood but fuck it! It is too much damn boring. And, in the end, what matters was that I did not fall into any stereotype of a fuckable guy.

Also from the same commenter:

"we aren’t pretty enough or thin enough or sexy enough, we weren’t sexual enough or were too sexual, we put out too much or too little or too soon or not soon enough, we didn’t wear our hair the right way or our skirt the right length, we’re “too tomboyish” or “too butch” or “too feminine”, or we’re “not their type”, or we’re otherwise not good enough in various ways to entice the man to grace us with his affection." - I love generalization!!! ^^

She may not know, but loads of "Mr. Nice Guys" are told the same shit over and over and over. And think about the same issues. "You werent manly enough!!" "You were/are too insecure" "You should lose some weight" "You are too thin, you need to grow some muscles" "You are too short" "Your clothes are shitty"   "You've said the wrong stuff to her" "You've displayed too much affection" "You gave too much attention" 'You aimed too high" "You are not her type" "Women like bad boys, you are too nice".

Alas, havent seen anything wrong on that display. What would she have said if this post was saying "the guy who ... I am like her sister. I'm fucked forever."? Im getting really pissed off over this pseudo-feminism and generalized sexism. 

[CottonCandy]

I think the "nice guy" thing is a bit... There are two types, really. Some are genuinely nice guys who get overlooked because the girls like guys who are being mean or macho instead of the quiet, polite type (in which case, these girls can be fools). Others, expect that if they "play their cards right", they will earn the right to have a relationship/sex with the girl. The main difference is that the latter usually expresses this in such way: "Oh come on, I took her to dinner for 3 times and I didn't even get a lousy blowjob?!" They might also be the type who go for the really, really pretty and vacuous girls whilst being average looking themselves. They fail to realise that those girls are interested in money and looks and mr. average doesn't have enough of either, and they also put down girls who might be average-looking and interested in them "Urgh, she's too fat/has a big arse/small tits/whatever"

I kinda know, as I was a girl version of the former. Nice girl, but not girly enough. Nice girl, but seen as a friend. It wasn't until I found my genuinely nice guy (who I've been with for 6 years come friday), I realised there might not have been attraction. You can't make mutual attraction happen. If you happen to be a nice guy, who the foolish girls ignore, you will have to wait until they're women who will appreciate genuinely nice guys.

[Astica]

What CottonCandy said. I think this article sums it up pretty good, as does the article linked in this article:
http://broadrecognition.com/opinion/the-entitlement-zone/

[absynth aura]

I need to write a pros and cons list, and a serious budget. I'm beginning to doubt choices again and want to explore options. I really hate when I do this.

[turtle club]

been on a boat in the Whitsundays for the last few days, and it's lovely, but... i really missed the internet! So addicted -.-

[absynth aura]

Even though I don't go to the uni here, the confessions page is hilarious

[Indja]

Just had my first class. Urgh. I forgot how fucking annoying first years were. And on top of the normal shit-scum freshers, we at the theology college get the joy of first year fucking ministry students, who are just the worst kind of people. They're so eager and keen and fresh-faced, and I hate every single one of them.

[imaginary friend]

Ive just read that "friendzone" is a sexist term. In the same thread, Ive read that guys who are friendzoned and the "mr. nice guys"   are dudes that only want to trade attention and care for sex. And that they DO think this is a trade good. Wonderful how concepts changes over the years.

The first time I read the term "friendzone" and "mr. nice guys" these were terms that would refer to people who would be more introvert and get closer to people they would like something more than only friendship, but then would become "too friend" for the other side have any kind of sexual interest. And because of this issue, would get frustrated over the others' choice regarded their partners: if (s)he is that bad and what (s)he does really hurts you, why the fuck are you still with him?!?!?

but I guess things had changed. or people never really understood introverted personalities and the concept changed over misinterpreted  behavious/situations involving friendzoning.


Facebook,  keep amazing me.


EDIT:

Ive been told by a girl I really liked for a awhile that I was always at her "friend zone" line. So, was she being sexist? I don't think so.

http://wtfniceguys.tumblr.com/post/15207397262/delacroix-imnotyogi-toptumbles-even-worse

^
"But when we’re not interested in someone, we’re vilified. We’re the bitch that lead them on, the bitch who let them buy us dinner but didn’t want to date them, the bitch who doesn’t appreciate a nice guy, the bitch they were nice to and then got nothing in return from."  -- funny stuff I never really thought that after being reject, but in one particular case everyone, including a girl, thought the girl was really interested on me too. But she wasnt. And I was starting to write about this episode of my teenagehood but fuck it! It is too much damn boring. And, in the end, what matters was that I did not fall into any stereotype of a fuckable guy.

Also from the same commenter:

"we aren’t pretty enough or thin enough or sexy enough, we weren’t sexual enough or were too sexual, we put out too much or too little or too soon or not soon enough, we didn’t wear our hair the right way or our skirt the right length, we’re “too tomboyish” or “too butch” or “too feminine”, or we’re “not their type”, or we’re otherwise not good enough in various ways to entice the man to grace us with his affection." - I love generalization!!! ^^

She may not know, but loads of "Mr. Nice Guys" are told the same shit over and over and over. And think about the same issues. "You werent manly enough!!" "You were/are too insecure" "You should lose some weight" "You are too thin, you need to grow some muscles" "You are too short" "Your clothes are shitty"   "You've said the wrong stuff to her" "You've displayed too much affection" "You gave too much attention" 'You aimed too high" "You are not her type" "Women like bad boys, you are too nice".

Alas, havent seen anything wrong on that display. What would she have said if this post was saying "the guy who ... I am like her sister. I'm fucked forever."? Im getting really pissed off over this pseudo-feminism and generalized sexism.

"friend zone" is an equal opportunity thing here in the States.

[spider jerusalem]

I think the "nice guy" thing is a bit... There are two types, really. Some are genuinely nice guys who get overlooked because the girls like guys who are being mean or macho instead of the quiet, polite type (in which case, these girls can be fools). Others, expect that if they "play their cards right", they will earn the right to have a relationship/sex with the girl. The main difference is that the latter usually expresses this in such way: "Oh come on, I took her to dinner for 3 times and I didn't even get a lousy blowjob?!" They might also be the type who go for the really, really pretty and vacuous girls whilst being average looking themselves. They fail to realise that those girls are interested in money and looks and mr. average doesn't have enough of either, and they also put down girls who might be average-looking and interested in them "Urgh, she's too fat/has a big arse/small tits/whatever"

It is funny that Ive never heard the expression "Mr. Nice Guy" to the type you've described - the later one, those who think being nice = getting laid. I confess that many of the girls Ive got feelings for for awhile were fool girls deep inside: it just took me too long to realize that. But, in my case, most of the time what made things get confusing were the mixed signals. Anyway, I realize now the difference - I just had never heard "friendzone/mr. nice guy" as a sexist thing before.

Another personal experience was that some of the girls that friendzoned me weren't what most people would call pretty, and definitely not "hot". Not that my self-esteem has grew that much since, but because it was quite low, I would only blame myself and put the girl in a untouchble state - which were something I shouldn't have done.  But whatever... these are things that happened  7 years ago.

I kinda know, as I was a girl version of the former. Nice girl, but not girly enough. Nice girl, but seen as a friend. It wasn't until I found my genuinely nice guy (who I've been with for 6 years come friday), I realised there might not have been attraction. You can't make mutual attraction happen. If you happen to be a nice guy, who the foolish girls ignore, you will have to wait until they're women who will appreciate genuinely nice guys.

Congrats! =]

It is been awhile since I last dated someone, for many reasons.

Also. I was always aware of this non-mutual attraction thing, which had put my self-esteem down back then. Specially when a situation would make me think that it may be was something mutual, because it wasnt  clear enough to say "this means nothing/something" and then, I would take a step too far. 

But thanks for your explanation and point of view. Made things clear as the "Mr Nice Guy" stuff.

What CottonCandy said. I think this article sums it up pretty good, as does the article linked in this article:
http://broadrecognition.com/opinion/the-entitlement-zone/

Nice article. This kind of person really exist, but Ive never seem people using Mr Nice Guy t refer to them before, as I said previously, nor 'friendzoned' as something sexist.

"friend zone" is an equal opportunity thing here in the States.

On my understanding too. I just never seem someone using/saying this expression as something sexist before.

[Annebelle.]

I'm cold. I turned on the heating for the first time this season. My lips are cracked and prickly because of today's winds.

Also, I have a cold. It's making my belly button piercing a bit red and itchy. I know it sounds impossible, but I'm slightly allergic to surgical steel. There's a tiny bit of nickel in the material. Generally, I don't react to the material, because the amounts of nickel are so little, but when I'm sick I do react to it. I don't have a titanium piercing to replace it with, so I'm just waiting until it goes away. It's not to bad, though, just a bit itchy.

[absynth aura]

I watched the first episode of Gravity Falls last night, and my god, I haven't laughed so much at a cartoon since I started watching Adventure Time

[Cirque]

I watched the first episode of Gravity Falls last night, and my god, I haven't laughed so much at a cartoon since I started watching Adventure Time

It's AMAZING!!!

[absynth aura]

I watched the first episode of Gravity Falls last night, and my god, I haven't laughed so much at a cartoon since I started watching Adventure Time

It's AMAZING!!!

It really is.
I'm going to set it up to record because it's on when I'm still at work, so I miss it.

[Cirque]

I watched the first episode of Gravity Falls last night, and my god, I haven't laughed so much at a cartoon since I started watching Adventure Time

It's AMAZING!!!

It really is.
I'm going to set it up to record because it's on when I'm still at work, so I miss it.

There are only 10 episodes so far and they seemed to have been aired very sporadically

[absynth aura]

I watched the first episode of Gravity Falls last night, and my god, I haven't laughed so much at a cartoon since I started watching Adventure Time

It's AMAZING!!!

It really is.
I'm going to set it up to record because it's on when I'm still at work, so I miss it.

There are only 10 episodes so far and they seemed to have been aired very sporadically

We seem to be quite behind on them here as they just started on Monday. So hopefully they'll all be played one after the other each week