See, normally I would find the greyhound beheading amusing, but I'll be taking a greyhound back and forth about once every two weeks.. 
Sure, but you're in CANADA... Nothing like that ever happens in CANADA, right?
We have exclusive rights to homicidal knife-wielding weirdos down here in the lower 48, right?
...right?...
Oh.......
but seriously, what are the odds?
....what are the odds you can get mom & dad to
cough up the price of a plane ticket now?
Well fuck, we all have pet beavers (heeheehee) and live in igloos--how violent can we be, eh?
(No chance of flying. It's a 2 hour drive; ergo, a 30 minute plane ride. If I do happen to be beheaded, I hereby leave my worldly possessions to the Box.)
You left out the most important part:
Canadians are the world's most
polite people, and when you stop to ask permission first, the person whom you may have intended
to stab will often say no, or simply move far enough away that it's no longer convenient to kill him.
...to say nothing of the fact that stabbing and beheading people is generally considered rude in/of itself.
And yeah, Seean, the Maple Leafs pretty much sucked last year, and the year before, and probably this year.
