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Author Topic: The Stories You Like To Tell Thread.  (Read 4424 times)

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melissa

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Re: The Stories You Like To Tell Thread.
« Reply #15 on: September 17, 2008, 03:00:59 PM »

#2   my friend's mother works at the local hospital that specializes in child birth.  she came home one day and wrote on a sheet of paper "Le-ah" and asked jaime how she would pronounce that.  jaime says the logical "leah".  her mother says, "no.  it's Ledashah.  the dash isn't silent."  somebody actually named their poor child Le-ah.
Brilliant.

only in Louisiana.  *facepalm*
oh, my friend bucky went to high school with a set of twins.  one named Lewasha and the other Ledrya.  oh yes, folks.  this is real.  i do not shit.

dangerpants

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Re: The Stories You Like To Tell Thread.
« Reply #16 on: September 18, 2008, 01:56:53 PM »

i do not shit.

You know that's bad for your health, you really should eat more fiber.
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So in conclusion it wasn't all the sex you were having, it was his suspicion that you were a vagina elf drug dealer.

buttercup.

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Re: The Stories You Like To Tell Thread.
« Reply #17 on: September 18, 2008, 08:37:32 PM »

I made out with this guy, let's call him J.
The next night, I made out with M.
M was married to S, but they were swingers.
Two days later S slept with J.
S and M (haha), split up a day later.
S came to cry on my shoulder.
That night M declared his love for me.
M and I eventually became a couple, as did S and J.



I think it's funny. I'm not with M anymore, but S and J are.
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___ampersand

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Re: The Stories You Like To Tell Thread.
« Reply #18 on: September 21, 2008, 08:01:46 PM »

i do not shit.

You know that's bad for your health, you really should eat more fiber.
Danger, I love you.
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The King of Carrot Flowers

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Re: The Stories You Like To Tell Thread.
« Reply #19 on: September 21, 2008, 11:21:04 PM »

This is less of a story and more of a joke:

A little boy is trying to go to sleep. Suddenly, he hear's a thumping on the wall. He goes into the hallway to investigate and traces the noise to his parents' bedroom. He opens the door and sees them having sex. The parents do not notice him.
The next morning, the boy says to his mother, "Mommy, last night I heard a thumping on the wall and I opened up your bedroom door and you were bouncin' up and down on top o' daddy. Why were you doin' that?"

"Well, son," said the mother, a little nervous, "you're daddy's a little fat, so Mommy bouces up and down on him because it makes him skinnier!"

The boy pondered this for a moment and then said, "Well, Mom, I don't think it's gonna do much good."

"Why?" asked the mother.

"Because," answered the son, "the neighbor comes over every morning and blows him back up!"
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Andy Pants

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Re: The Stories You Like To Tell Thread.
« Reply #20 on: September 22, 2008, 04:46:42 AM »

I once sat in front of Geoffery Rush on a train.
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___ampersand

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Re: The Stories You Like To Tell Thread.
« Reply #21 on: September 22, 2008, 02:00:15 PM »

I once sat in front of Geoffery Rush on a train.
JEALOUS.
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bec

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Re: The Stories You Like To Tell Thread.
« Reply #22 on: September 23, 2008, 06:38:47 AM »

you'd be amazed how many times this story actually comes up in conversation:

my friend and i were waiting in line for a ride called The Wipeout at a local theme park (Dreamworld). these 2 totally over-dressed girls joined the line behind us, and seemed a little apprehensive. one asked us "does this ride make you sick?", to which we obviously replied no. they nearly chickened out about 4 times in the line, until we were finally allowed to get on the ride. they ended up sitting next to my friend, who was next to me.

the ride started. after about 3 upside down spins/rotations, the girl closest to my friend started coughing. then spluttering. i couldn't stop laughing. until a few seconds later i felt something warm on my leg. i looked down and sure enough, it was spew. trickling down my leg. it was all over my friend, and some had sprayed onto me. a combination of wind and unfortunate ride movements contributed, but i swear she must've projectile vomited.

and so of course the smell was horrible. after sitting there with someone else's vomit on my leg for a few more minutes, the ride finally stopped. the girl said "stupid fucking ride", and just brushed all the chunks off her lap and into the water below the ride. the vomit was still trickling down her harness. i couldn't stop gagging. my friend held herself together much better than i would've. i had to walk through the vomit that had splattered on the ground in order to get off the ride. barefoot.

the girl didn't even tell any of the ride operators that she'd been sick, so i pity the poor person who had to sit in her seat afterwards.

anyway, it pretty much ruined the day. my friend ended up buying a new shirt, but the vomit stench lingered.

we laugh about it now.

paper-doll

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Re: The Stories You Like To Tell Thread.
« Reply #23 on: September 23, 2008, 03:38:19 PM »

Ah, the Wipeout...

I had a similar experience at the Brisbane Exhibition.  Lovely!
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