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[Shakti]

It's like "yeah i can talk about everything. that's the concept. breaking tabus, questioning limits..." sure, it is a different situation because it's an internal problem and writing might hurt brian/whoever and actually is nobodys business. but on the other hand if that is REALLY what she feels? it is fucking important. important to deal with it like with everything else. and important to keep the spirit of the blunt writing alive.

I think that when you're blunt and write about everything, it is an absolute necessity to know where the boundaries are between what's YOUR shit and what belongs, in whole or part, to someone else and is off limits for that kind of exposure without their consent.

[Elle]

or about how hard it was not to blog about all this stuff when it was happening because it would have felt unfair and somehow classless.
(i relied on other outlets. my other friends. my solo record. and youtube. i urge you to go re-watch that avril video. the pain was real, dude).

this is so disturbing. I'm not sure how to say this without making it sound overdramatically like I feel betrayed (because that is not true). But I would give all the intimate blogs about sponges and everything else for one that covers what is really going on.
It's like "yeah i can talk about everything. that's the concept. breaking tabus, questioning limits..." sure, it is a different situation because it's an internal problem and writing might hurt brian/whoever and actually is nobodys business. but on the other hand if that is REALLY what she feels? it is fucking important. important to deal with it like with everything else. and important to keep the spirit of the blunt writing alive. and it seems to me, that NOT writing about it has somethig offending, too, if you can write about fucking anything else.
how many levels of truth are there? how much of all this was covered by other stories/means of expression? and how much distance do you have to get before you actually can write aboout something? but is it still true then after the wait?
i'm sorry. i'm uber sleep deprived and frustrated because i'm naive. learned something new today. just ignore me., I'll probably delete my post in a minute or two.

and yeah to gender stereotype books...

having said that, i think it's absolutely amazing that they stop now, although getting so much positive feedback (at least what i read...) for no,virginia and everything else, but because they're not feeling it right now. do what you want, but DO it, and if it's only half-assed stay away. long live the punk cabaret:)

At the same time, I can understand exactly why she wouldn't blog about that. It's responsibility, to her fans and to her friend. I don't want to speak on Amanda's behalf but it seems like she didn't want to cause hysteria in the fan base and at the same time, she didn't want to say anything that would alienate her friend and band mate in a time of true uncertainty.

I would have done the same thing to avoid unnecessary drama; they weren't being dishonest, they told us that they weren't sure what was coming in the future, when they would be making another record, etc.

There's a huge difference between talking about "everything" in a social sense and talking about "Everything" in a personal sense. One might feel comfortable blogging about strange or awkward or embarrassing happenings, but that doesn't mean that they feel they can open up to thousands of strangers about deep, personal, painful things that could be potentially corrosive to their personal relationships.

I hope that made sense. :[ 

[beth of all trades]

It's like "yeah i can talk about everything. that's the concept. breaking tabus, questioning limits..." sure, it is a different situation because it's an internal problem and writing might hurt brian/whoever and actually is nobodys business. but on the other hand if that is REALLY what she feels? it is fucking important. important to deal with it like with everything else. and important to keep the spirit of the blunt writing alive.

I think that when you're blunt and write about everything, it is an absolute necessity to know where the boundaries are between what's YOUR shit and what belongs, in whole or part, to someone else and is off limits for that kids of exposure without their consent.

I love the way Shakti says this.

I blog, I have for years.  When no one in my personal life knew I had a blog, I talked really openly, because as a person, I have few boundaries.  

Now that EVERYONE knows I have a blog, I am more guarded, because I wouldn't want the people I love to be hurt by my honesty.  Just because *I* am okay with details of my sex life, my relationships, my fights with family and friends and lovers, even my WORK being out there, doesn't mean that the other people involved are okay with that.  

It's like... my right to swing my fist ends a milimeter before your face begins.  My right to tell my story ends where your right to privacy begins.   When stories are shared and potentially hurtful, it's important to be careful.

[Shakti]

Thanks, Beth (but it's better now that I fixed the typo).  You put it well, too.

[Matty]

(I don't know about any conversation that may have formed in the 5 pages here, this is just a reply to AFP)

Well I'm relieved a little, and I'm not someone who was freaking out over the alleged breakup, it just made me sad a little. I never thought it t.would really happen anyway, The Dresden Dolls are a fucking force of nature. It's good that you guys get some space for a while, but I don't think the Dresden Dolls will ever really end until one of you dies, there is just way too much love, enough that I can feel it, more that I've felt from any band or similar team, musical or not. I have never loved anyone I've never met more. I can't wait for the inevidable reunion.
I fucking love you guys.
<3Matty

[Holmes]

thank you amanda, for putting it so honestly and openly =)

[caddy]

"You are the love of my life!  You are the love of my life!  You are the love of my life!  You are the love of my li...."

wait...

"You are the one that I love!  You are the one that I love!  You are the one that..."



the above aside, i could say that this sucks, but in the long run of life...doesn't everything suck, eventually?

edit: this only inspired me to go looking around for some World Inferno music, and start purchasing.  i'm also extremely annoyed that Brian's myspace webpage only leads you to more Dolls related stuff.  i'd like for him to have his own page that talks about what -he- is doing, not a page that -also- talks about what he is doing.  that boy needs his own site, ah tells ya.

[SinewandBones]

You know shit happens, and we all deal with it when it does (even if it does sting like a thing that stings really really badly and chances are you'll poke it and it'll get sorer and then you'll poke it some more). What ever happens the two of you made something special, something great and something different. Even if you don't feel the need to continue it further, it will always be there for you two to pick up when ever you want and it will always have impacted on everyone who has heard your music or seen the two of you perform live. So even if the world does implode, right now and right here the two of you made a pretty awesome ripple. And that will never change.

And they say growing is about trying new things, so its all good!! Change brings perspective and a little time makes everything seem so different. Even if men and women are pretty much fucking crazy and utterly illogical at times.

[Two Headed Boy]

Peace and love

A-fucking-MEN!!!

[McMullet]

Well if the Dresden Dolls stayed inseparably together forever, we wouldn't have been able to hear Amanda's solo album, or the full range of Brian's skin-bashing virtuosity. That would've sucked.

One cannot have one's awesome favourite rock band apart from Led Zeppelin and eat it. That would be silly.

It would be awesome if, at some future point, Amanda and Brian did decide to make more Dresden Dolls music together. I'd love to see them live again. If it doesn't happen then we can still enjoy what they're doing separately. It's all good.

Executive summary: Amen*.

*I had to try and type that about 6 times.

[cavedweller73]

"Lets not mourne the haitus, lets be thankful we had them at all!"

AMEN!!!! to this statement as well! I don't know about anyone else, but I enjoyed the living HELL out of EVERY single time I got to see The Dolls play live! Those are memories that I will cherish the rest of my life, without a doubt. If there's one thing I've learned over the years, when you love something with all your heart, don't EVER take it for granted and be sure to make the absolute most out of it. Like everyone else, I too hope there comes a day when I can experience the thrill of a Dolls show again. But until then, I consider myself so lucky and thankful to have been a part of something so beautiful and amazing. And now, it might be slightly different, but it'll still be a thrill to be a part of whatever new beauty Brian and Amanda cook up for us, because we all know it's going to be amazing!

[drusilla]

My Fair Amanda:


the music making process should be fun, creative and relaxing- the work should be in promoting and touring. it should be something you enjoy doing together and collaborating on and if you're finding yourselves disagreeing then go to your corners and find your way back to zen.

the best of friends/lovers/music makers are going to have their differences so of course you need time away from each other- it was bound to happen some day and if a little time away from each other brings an AMAZING record here in a few years (or more) then as far as we're concerned they take all the time in the world.

Love you both:
Intensely,
D

[eleanor ruby]

i must say, i vastly appreciate that you are a thoughtful enough person to actually explain what it is that's going on between the two of you instead of simply writing off the band as if it has already been decided upon. if you two mutually agree to break up, i don't blame you (and, to be honest, your solo project is better anyway; you're allowed to be serious and play slower songs, even if someone doesn't like play them live, which tends to kill the mood); it seems like you've been having a rough time for a while. and i know i'm coming off as bitter towards brian, but i guess that i am. after all the times my husband and i have seen you live, where you've consistently blown us away (blown-out vocal cords and all), for brian to claim that you "hate touring" seems absurd. hardships come about and people need to face them. it's the only way to reach a resolution.

at any rate, rock on.

[Musings]

"yeah i can talk about everything. that's the concept. breaking tabus, questioning limits..." sure, it is a different situation because it's an internal problem and writing might hurt brian/whoever and actually is nobodys business. but on the other hand if that is REALLY what she feels? it is fucking important. important to deal with it like with everything else. and important to keep the spirit of the blunt writing alive. and it seems to me, that NOT writing about it has somethig offending, too, if you can write about fucking anything else.
how many levels of truth are there? how much of all this was covered by other stories/means of expression? and how much distance do you have to get before you actually can write aboout something? but is it still true then after the wait?

This was already written about, and very eloquently, but I thought I would add in sort of a vague blah blah blah way:
Does communicating without any filters, any boundaries, any sense of respect for others and their boundaries actually increase understanding?  I think that what happens is what you get instead of communication when you don't filter yourself a bit, is a whole lot of reaction without thought, a lot of emotion and hysteria.  Sometimes that's useful -- figuring out what is the primal instinctive thing that people want to say -- but a lot of times if you stop and reframe and use perspective, you'll learn a lot more.  

For public figures, in general: There's the idea of intimacy and truthfulness, and then there's the people you have to face every morning who are there for you in that way, and then there's dealing with thousands of fans and their emotions and their reactions to your every word.  Somehow you have to negotiate between those three things.

[heartstringz]

AMEN!!!! to this statement as well! I don't know about anyone else, but I enjoyed the living HELL out of EVERY single time I got to see The Dolls play live! Those are memories that I will cherish the rest of my life, without a doubt. If there's one thing I've learned over the years, when you love something with all your heart, don't EVER take it for granted and be sure to make the absolute most out of it. Like everyone else, I too hope there comes a day when I can experience the thrill of a Dolls show again. But until then, I consider myself so lucky and thankful to have been a part of something so beautiful and amazing. And now, it might be slightly different, but it'll still be a thrill to be a part of whatever new beauty Brian and Amanda cook up for us, because we all know it's going to be amazing!

Couldn't agree more!  Well said.