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[malcontent]

Last year my family and I became aware that the wound on my fathers foot that would not heal for over 2 years was cancer. He had surgery to remove the tumor and began radiation shortly after. The wound on his foot was also given a skin graft because of the tissues they removed and the initial wound being too large to heal on its own. The graft took and the radiation seemed to work but slowly another bump grew on another part of my dads foot and while that was undergoing radiation his first tumor quickly resurfaced. He went through more radiation but it has proven to be fruitless. Now there are two more sores developing midway up his shin and about 2 inches from his knee. The initial site of the cancer is still an open wound and the doctors believe there is no other option than to take his leg from the middle of his shin. He is getting a second opinion but I imagine there isn't much else that can be done. What is worse is that this will not cure his cancer. This will remove the wound and possibly slow the spread of the disease. I am scared. No one has any answers for us. How long he has or what it will do to him in time. He is 76 but healthy other than the cancer and an anuerism in his stomach. He has always been self sufficient and I can not see him living very long unless he remains that way.

I started this thread for support. To hear other peoples stories. For other people to get support. Perhaps advice. I could have joined a cancer support group but I'd rather talk to strangers I know....

[CeeGBee]

I dunno how much help I can be, aside from sending lots of well-wishes and moral support.

You may have noticed that they've developed incredibly functional lower-leg prosthetics that
allow something very much like totally normal function.  (Remember P.McCartney's then-wife
on the celeb-dancing show? and she lost her leg well above the knee.)

That probably doesn't help a damn bit, but it's what I've got for the moment.
Best wishes and best of luck.

[malcontent]

That is true but I am not sure how much of the cost of a prosthetic is covered in Canada. I am going to try to visit his doctor with him next time to ask as many questions as I can.

and Thank you Cee.

[SomewhatDamaged]

There isn't much those of us that haven't been in this position can offer as advice but like Cee you have my best wishes if im about you know I will allways listen.

[malcontent]

Well I thought there would be more people that knew someone or was related to someone who might have had or has cancer. Apparently...not?

WHERE IS EVERYBODY?


no nin pun intended.

[bec]

i'm so sorry to hear about your father, and i also send my best wishes.

i've been in a similar position, i guess. but not with a family member as close as a parent. here's my stories, although i'm not sure they're at all helpful...

my uncle, a head paediatric oncologist at a prestigious children's hospital in New Zealand and father of 4 young kids, was diagnosed with bowel cancer about 3 years ago. it was such a slap in the face, considering he's spent most of his life treating children with the disease, and is the most fit (he's always training for some different marathon or triathlon) and healthy person i know. luckily, they caught it early and a year of torturous chemotherapy seems to have "cured" him - well, he's in remission. i remember being at his house just before christmas last year, when he was due to get his test results back. he said he didn't want to know, because if the cancer had returned then he'd rather not know until after christmas. my aunt, who is also a doctor, wasn't coping at all with that decision and they eventually decided to find out. and thankfully, it was all clear.

and then about... 4 months ago, my grandfather's voice started to get very hoarse. the doctors diagnosed him with laryngitis, but my aunt (who had gone through the bowel cancer scare with my uncle) wasn't convinced. so, he finally agreed to go for a scan and they found tumours in his throat, lung and brain. they were almost certainly caused by his 50+ years of smoking. the doctors said he had 6 weeks, at the very most. he deteriorated rapidly, and the tumour in his brain caused him to become so delusional and dependent that he had to move to a nursing home. he passed away about 3 weeks ago, with all his family by his bedside. and i couldn't even attend his funeral because i had exams.

[malcontent]

I'm so sorry to hear about you losing your grandfather but I'm equally as happy to hear about your uncles recovery. I hope it does not come back. Thank you for sharing that is exactly what I was looking for. 

[bec]

thanks. i'm not too sad about my grandpa, he was 82 and seemed to have achieved everything he wanted to in his life. i'm more sad for my grandma because she's struggling to adjust to living by herself. i guess it just takes time. i'm working on a sketch of my grandpa to give to her, in the hope that it at least brings a smile to her face when i see her at christmas. it just sucks to be living so far away.

i hope to one day work in a medical research team that finds a cure for cancer. it's a long shot, but i can always dream.

[renegadeoptician]

Cancer or Altzheimer's
Take Everyone On Both Sides
Of my Family

My Great Aunt has
Beat Cancer Three Times
In Her 90 Years of Life

I Think My Dad's Gonna
Be the Next to Be Diagnosed After
Fifty Years of Heavy Smoking

I Wish You
And Your Dad Nothing
But the Best

[caddy]

Everybody is too busy posting pictures of their stomachs, and raging about belly power.

Anyways (sigh), I'm sorry to hear this.  I would probably cry myself to sleep if me, or somebody I cared about contracted such a horrible disease.  I don't know much about cancer at all, but I have seen the effects of a stroke to an older woman who used to be very self-sufficient.  It's depressing, and I hope things turn out for the best.  There's got to be something that can be done.

What about those Cancer Centers of America things?  They sound pretty awesome?  Also, be wary of some doctors when it comes to life-threatening things like this.  *nods*  They'll give you no answers, tell you three months, and all you have to do is ignore them, and go to somebody more reputable.  *ugh*  Also sounds like the doctors are actually -assisting- in the spread of the cancer with their treatment.

[Pope Totalfrog]

You get a big hug from me too. My mum had cancer when I was younger. It was utterly terrifying for her and confusing for me because I didn't really understand what was happening. She recovered completely and has been cancer free for about 18 years.

My Grandfather who is about the same age as your dad and who I am closer to than my own father has just had a massive tumour removed from his brain as well as  having a section of his bowel removed due to cancer earlier this year. They just found another tumour and they don't think he is up to having any more surgery. It is becoming less likely he will still be around to see me have this baby in March.

Caddy is right - there is always a second opinion available. Ask all the questions you can and just ask louder if they don't answer. If my mum hadn't pushed for a second opinion then she wouldn't be around now (still upsets me to think about it).

[absurdabsurd]

The woman I declared as my 'honorary godmother' when I was less than 7 years old has been struggling with, I believe, intestinal cancer for decades. She is the most frail person I know. I am afraid to hug her because I am afraid of breaking her. She refuses to let any doctors TOUCH her cancer i.e. trying to remove it because she is convinced it is THAT which causes cancer to become malicious and spread. Instead, she has not eaten solid food for years and is on lots and lots of meds. I wish I didn't sound so medically inept in this case, but I've never asked for details and hence have no idea on details. The doctors keep telling her that by all rights, she should be dead. Instead, she is holding on strong and I don't know how she does it. She still does EVERYTHING. She works as a waitress, she keeps a meticulously tended-to garden, she goes on motorcycle trips around Europe with her husband on their Harley (!), and she has one of the biggest hearts I have ever encountered ...

A few years ago, my actual godmother's sister passed away after a long struggle with lung cancer. I didn't know her very well. But I still remember the last time I saw her, and being simultaneously fascinated and freaked out by the wig she was wearing thanks to chemotherapy.

Similarly, one of my parents' best friends passed away a few years ago (in 2005) of lung cancer. He was an artist. A year or so before his death, my parents took me to his studio. He showed me around, and ultimately ended up giving me a portrait of Marguerite Duras, his favourite author, to accompany me on my studies. I still haven't gotten around to reading any Duras, but that portrait remains one of my most valued possessions.

I don't know if these stories are of any help to you at this time. Probably not. But all my love goes out to you and yours...

...and I do echo the whole thing on second opinions. There have been too many medical fudgings in my family lately (unrelated to cancer) for me to ever trust any doctors ever again. They are only human, and considering the number of errors in judgement all of us regularly suffer from...

[malcontent]

This is all because of a MAJOR error. He was seen by a wound specialist and a foot doctor for his wound when we still thought it was simply just that. The ignorant foot doctor would not let him see someone else and insisted my dad buy 300 dollar orthos and it would "go away" Perhaps if we had caught it sooner the radiation would have worked. My family were all pretty keen on the idea of a lawsuit.


As for the cancer centres we are a Canadian family and public health care and public cancer centres are all we have.... they are really trying I just think it was finally diagnosed far too late for simple radiation. By the time they started the disease probably already spread.

I just found out tonight that the doctors my father and his girlfriend (she is living in Hungary and 27... my dad is a pimp) emailed have received the information and photographs of his foot. Timaia (or however the fuck you spell her name) is convinced they'll have another answer for him other than amputation and hopelessness.

I want to thank everyone so much for their words of kindness and warm wishes. The stories... I want to thank you for the stories too because they are exactly what I was hoping for.

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather totalfrog and I hope he sees your baby before he parts. I can sympathize because I know ho that feels. It almost makes me want to hop on the next transient and make a baby so my daddy can know my child.

Much shadowbox love. 

[Pope Totalfrog]

This is all because of a MAJOR error. He was seen by a wound specialist and a foot doctor for his wound when we still thought it was simply just that. The ignorant foot doctor would not let him see someone else and insisted my dad buy 300 dollar orthos and it would "go away" Perhaps if we had caught it sooner the radiation would have worked. My family were all pretty keen on the idea of a lawsuit.

I can't blame them for wanting to sue. Doctors have a duty to listen, problem is there are some that are too arrogant to bother. It was a similar thing with my mother - they kept telling her that the lump in her neck was just a swollen gland and nothing to worry about. Turned out to be thyroid cancer.

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather totalfrog and I hope he sees your baby before he parts. I can sympathize because I know ho that feels. It almost makes me want to hop on the next transient and make a baby so my daddy can know my child.

Much shadowbox love. 

I hope he is still around too. I still get a shock every time I see him and realise how sick he is.

Oh and please don't go jumping the bones of any poor hobo's. They have sperm banks for that kind of thing

[malcontent]

That is a burn. "poor hobo". I'm not THAT ugly. haha.