Oh, Darling, this is so perfectly aligned with something I was thinking earlier today, so I'm already prepared for it!
*ahem*
Dear x:
The fact that I've gotten over you long, long ago should, in theory, mean you feel at least somewhat the same. We've been broken up almost 6 years, and you still drunk-dial my friends to ask about me? I suppose I should be flattered that you feel you'll never love anyone the way you loved me, but you might've done better to think about that before you tried to push me into traffic all those years ago.
Ta.
-the Baron
Dear BR:
The fact I severely dislike outright hate the boy with whom you're currently infatuated doesn't mean I secretly have a crush on you. If I had a crush on you, I wouldn't need it to be a secret: Lady la Croix has stated publicly that if I feel anything "that way" towards someone, arrangements can be made. In fact, you know that. Further fact: you knew I hated that guy before you started to crush out on him. He & I have a long and public history of clashing, so don't attempt to devalue my disdain based on some misconception. You're still a good friend, but seriously, knock it off.
See you soon.
- the Baron
Dear YM:
I appreciate your frank nature most of the time, but I really must draw a line at you tweeting about your sex life. We are related, and I'm far happier without your vagina in my mind.
Yours by blood
- the Baron
Dear KP:
Please stop assuming any housework that goes undone was my fault. I didn't leave the pan on the stove with the egg-bits in it. I don't eat breakfast at home, and I don't eat eggs unless they're an ingredient. I didn't leave the back door unlocked: I leave by the front door because that's the side of the house where I park, facing east. I didn't leave the TV on downstairs; I was at work. &ct.
Honestly
- the Baron
Dear S & J:
I'm not a parent (thank God & the Trojan corporation), but it seems to me that if you threaten your child with military school if they continue to misbehave, and they continue to misbehave, your plan was set in stone and you really shouldn't back out of it. I know you thought the threat would suffice, but sometimes action must follow. Sabers can only be rattled so long before they're drawn; he should be learning that lesson right now, the little brat.
And really, military school isn't that bad. Trust me.
Your haggled friend
- the Baron
That should suffice for now.
Author
Topic: Respond To People Publicly (Read 151005 times)