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Author Topic: the suicide thread  (Read 66973 times)

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the empty girl

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Re: the suicide thread
« Reply #30 on: February 26, 2009, 05:14:49 PM »

I'll admit, I sometimes - not often mind - say things that I hope to God someone will pick up on so that they'll sort of force me to confront what's wrong. I just can't bring myself to do it by myself, you know?

I totally get that. I mean... I've been freak girl most of my life. I didn't even have friends until middle school, and then by high school I was getting spit on in hallways and shoved into lockers. At one point I even received a head injury so severe it causes me seizures now, so I really understand what it's like to feel like ass. I could probably write a book about the last 5 years of my life that would make mothers love their children more. And sometimes you feel like if you say something, you're going to get rejected more. Or you feel selfish, thinking that other people have bigger problems that matter more than yours. The fact of the matter is that when it comes to your health and safety, you should matter most. A shitty life is still a life.
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"When people say they envy me and my life that's like a movie come true, I smile and neglect to tell them that the movie is Rock-a-Doodle." -JV

Bubblegum Britt

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Re: the suicide thread
« Reply #31 on: February 26, 2009, 05:42:44 PM »

I heartily support anyone who wishes to end their life. A lot of people say it's cowardly, but I don't agree.

So if someone told you, a close friend, that they were gonna kill themselves, you would say, "Go ahead."
Yes. If you can't be allowed to choose to opt out of this horrible little reality we dwell in, then you have no point to living in it anyway. The freedom to make personal choices is the most important freedom anyone can ever have.

Okay, and I mean this in the least bitchiest way possible, but if the world is so horrible, why are you still alive? I still don't understand how someone can think the world is such a terrible place, yet they're still here. You gotta like something about it


Because I'm far too much of a coward.

I think it's because you actually ENJOY LIVING, but you don't want to for some reason.
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caddy

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Re: the suicide thread
« Reply #32 on: February 26, 2009, 05:59:04 PM »

I heartily support anyone who wishes to end their life. A lot of people say it's cowardly, but I don't agree.

So if someone told you, a close friend, that they were gonna kill themselves, you would say, "Go ahead."
Yes. If you can't be allowed to choose to opt out of this horrible little reality we dwell in, then you have no point to living in it anyway. The freedom to make personal choices is the most important freedom anyone can ever have.

Okay, and I mean this in the least bitchiest way possible, but if the world is so horrible, why are you still alive? I still don't understand how someone can think the world is such a terrible place, yet they're still here. You gotta like something about it


Because I'm far too much of a coward.

I think it's because you actually ENJOY LIVING, but you don't want to for some reason.

I think that's a poorly made assumption on your part.  There are people out there who feel like the cons outweigh the pros of living, but are too chickenshit to get it over with.  Just because I person meanders through life, doesn't mean they enjoy living.  It's more like ... I've never DIED before, and I don't know how much that's going to hurt.

>_>

And no, I have never, seriously, made an attempt on my own life.  I figure if I'd be willing to throw it all away like that, then I should take that energy, and focus it on doing wild and insane things.  Like moving 3,000 miles across the country.  And should I feel suicidal, I'll just move again.  Or do something fucking crazy...like move across seas.  Get a sex change.  Do something.
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Haushinka

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Re: the suicide thread
« Reply #33 on: February 26, 2009, 06:22:03 PM »

I've never had an active suicidal thought, I just occasionally seem to have moments at the strangest of times. Like, in a check in queue for a plane or just walking along a busy street, or on a nice sunny summer day, I'll suddenly and fleetingly think- god, we're all going to die anyway, it would be so easy just to end it now. Which then gets consumed but "stop being so silly, I'd miss so and so and my mum would never forgive me, blah...."

But, for the few seconds that the thought is there, it is quite honest. Not depressing, just.... clarity.
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the empty girl

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Re: the suicide thread
« Reply #34 on: February 26, 2009, 06:26:29 PM »

I've never had an active suicidal thought, I just occasionally seem to have moments at the strangest of times. Like, in a check in queue for a plane or just walking along a busy street, or on a nice sunny summer day, I'll suddenly and fleetingly think- god, we're all going to die anyway, it would be so easy just to end it now. Which then gets consumed but "stop being so silly, I'd miss so and so and my mum would never forgive me, blah...."

But, for the few seconds that the thought is there, it is quite honest. Not depressing, just.... clarity.

I understand that. Almost like if I end it now, I won't have to worry about when or how it'll happen later.

I have scary death fears. Like, say a car cuts us off and we slam on the breaks just milliseconds before slamming into the other car, my brain continues the crash. I go flying through the windshield and hear my neck snap before I come out of it and we're continuing our journey down the road. (Cars fuck me up... I have no desire to drive, EVER)
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"When people say they envy me and my life that's like a movie come true, I smile and neglect to tell them that the movie is Rock-a-Doodle." -JV

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Re: the suicide thread
« Reply #35 on: February 26, 2009, 06:48:49 PM »

On my first visit to Munich, I was about to cross the road in front of the main station when someone with me shouted at me to stop. I didn't hear exactly what they said, and stopped to turn to them. I'd say I felt, rather than saw, the tram hurtle past, right where I'd been about to step. I spent the next hour in shock, and the rest of the day feeling that I should be dead, or at least in hospital. I still get scared thinking about it.

I'm also convinced I'll crash and die and possibly kill my passangers if I ever choose to drive. I can be paranoid like that.
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the empty girl

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Re: the suicide thread
« Reply #36 on: February 26, 2009, 06:55:45 PM »

I'm glad I'm not the only one. It happens with everything though, not just cars. I worked in a plastic factory for nearly a year and I'd have crazy continuing thoughts of the mold closing on my arms or my head while I was getting a piece out of the machine, or of slicing parts of my hands off as I was trimming the plastic. Then one time, I actually sliced my finger down to the bone and was oddly fascinated by the amount of blood that came gushing out of me before I passed out, came to (soaked in finger blood), and walked upstairs to the office to seal it shut with super glue.

crazy shit.
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"When people say they envy me and my life that's like a movie come true, I smile and neglect to tell them that the movie is Rock-a-Doodle." -JV

Alyss

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Re: the suicide thread
« Reply #37 on: February 26, 2009, 09:00:12 PM »

I heartily support anyone who wishes to end their life. A lot of people say it's cowardly, but I don't agree.

So if someone told you, a close friend, that they were gonna kill themselves, you would say, "Go ahead."
Yes. If you can't be allowed to choose to opt out of this horrible little reality we dwell in, then you have no point to living in it anyway. The freedom to make personal choices is the most important freedom anyone can ever have.

Okay, and I mean this in the least bitchiest way possible, but if the world is so horrible, why are you still alive? I still don't understand how someone can think the world is such a terrible place, yet they're still here. You gotta like something about it


Because I'm far too much of a coward.

I think it's because you actually ENJOY LIVING, but you don't want to for some reason.
I think that life is actually a struggle to ignore or overcome the inherently horrible nature of the world. In the end, everyone loses.
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85283-071

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Re: the suicide thread
« Reply #38 on: February 26, 2009, 09:08:16 PM »

There is nothing inherently horrible about the world.
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Alyss

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Re: the suicide thread
« Reply #39 on: February 26, 2009, 09:11:14 PM »

Volcanos. Termites. Syphilis.
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hateandjealousy

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Re: the suicide thread
« Reply #40 on: February 26, 2009, 09:13:37 PM »

Alyss you are amazingly emo.
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Alyss

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Re: the suicide thread
« Reply #41 on: February 26, 2009, 09:15:10 PM »

I'm currently listening to the Juno soundtrack and grinning my face off. Your theories are poorly researched.
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Mockery

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Re: the suicide thread
« Reply #42 on: February 26, 2009, 09:17:11 PM »

Alyss you are amazingly emo.
What else is new?
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yosmark

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Re: the suicide thread
« Reply #43 on: February 26, 2009, 09:20:04 PM »

I'm currently listening to the Juno soundtrack and grinning my face off. Your theories are poorly researched.

Now a days everyone/everything is emo, everything that is different or not understandable is emo, I have been called emo a bunch of times lately.

F, if you are listening to Juno's soundtrack it doesn't mean you are emo, it means you are a sissy.
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Alyss

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Re: the suicide thread
« Reply #44 on: February 26, 2009, 09:25:21 PM »

Alyss you are amazingly emo.
What else is new?
"I'm not the one that's crazy."
"But it's more productive than if I were to be happy."
"How many happy endings do you need to change your FUCKING mind?!"

F, if you are listening to Juno's soundtrack it doesn't mean you are emo, it means you are a sissy.
"Do it for the monsters under your bed!"
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