At the moment, I do... pretty rank actually. Stayed awake for like four days, got all smashed and sweaty on a train ride from New York, then zonked out without showering last night. Now the in-laws have used all the hot water, and I have to wait for my Momma-Rhonda's hubby to wake up and help me dye my hair, then wash the funk away. So.. you win there... maybe try again?
Ps- "Shelf ass" is already taken. So is "Sluggo".