When did you first know you were gay?
I'm 50% gay. I pretty much always knew this, but sometimes leaned more towards lesbianism because it was a way to really drive home that I was just not straight. I first knew when I was in preschool and wanted to check out my teacher's panties while yelling "woo woo!" She made me stop after a few rounds.
Are you in or out of the closet? If it's the latter then how did you come out?
Totally out. I came out in high school to my Mom who freaked when I both watched and taped the entire two day gay and lesbian march on Washington. I saw Pussy Tourette perform and felt I had finally found my people. I got to inform her of this last year when I saw her at Folsom. I had to come out to my mom a few times, though because she kept forgetting and re-asking me over and over. Maybe she hoped I had changed my mind.
Also, how did people react and what changes took place in your life (if any) when you did come out?
My mother was very uncomfortable and referred to my wife as my "friend" for the first three years I was with her. My sister attempted to try lesbianism out herself but mostly had sex with women who were willing to install curtains and shelves for no sexual reciprocation. I believe they call this "pillow queens" - She is back with the mens folk now.
What does being gay mean to you? Do you 'wear' it? and How much does it define your personality?
I am married to a man now and still consider myself to be gay. My husband is a drag queen. I do drag king here and there myself and sometimes faux queen. He has permission to fool around with men on the side so long as he is safe and I have permission to be with women. It is about pushing the paradigms of traditional gender and relationship concepts. I am with a man, but no one can ever say we have a straight marriage.
Do you fall into, break or try to avoid gay stereotypes?
I embrace whatever gay stereotypes I happen to fall into. I don't try to be any particular one. I find constructs to be humorous and interesting. Not restricting. I like to poke at labels. I am more a faux queen by night and tom boy by day type of human. I once created a theory for my master's thesis that pushed the analytic concept of gender identity beyond the traditional Freudian linear concept and into a spherical construct with multiple points for identity that can be assumed simultaneously. I abandoned it beyond my thesis because I could not figure out what to do with it beyond my thesis.
Do you associate yourself with gay music and media like 'queercore'?
I like Pansy Division, Pussy Tourette, and Kinsey Six. Once I subscribed to the Homocore Zine. I used to be Riot Grrl, though they are not exclusively gay.
Do you have people you look up to in the LGBT community and if so, why?
Most of my therapist supervisors are/ were lesbian. They are the awesome. Particularly C. Calame.
Also I like William Bourroughs, Genet, Pussy, F. Bacon, Oscar Wilde.... There are a lot of people from many different walks of life.
Have you ever encountered prejudice? If so, what kind?
Of course. It would be too long to go into every detail here. I'll just say that the first person I came out to was a therapist at 16 who said I was too pretty to be gay.