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Author Topic: Gayness  (Read 111087 times)

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Mockery

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Re: Gayness
« Reply #2475 on: October 12, 2011, 03:35:14 PM »

You win.

Still, your lucky that racial stereotypes don't follow you.
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Indja

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Re: Gayness
« Reply #2476 on: October 12, 2011, 03:48:36 PM »

You win.

Still, your lucky that racial stereotypes don't follow you.

Certainly not to the same extent, being a white middle-class girl from England, but those that are there I do seem to conform to xD I have a fairly posh accent, I'm really *very* middle class, and I do drink an awful lot of tea... ;)
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Agonistes

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Re: Gayness
« Reply #2477 on: October 12, 2011, 04:09:27 PM »

^Try being a girl who firmly and fiercly identifies as a bisexual feminist, while still not being out to most of her family, being in a very lovely heterosexual relationship, and wanting nothing much more than a babies, a nice house, and to spend her days knitting and sewing and possibly milking a cow. I'm perfectly comfortable with myself, but other people seem to have real difficulty accepting that.

you and i had a conversation once about how lesbians have tried to 'claim' you, and refused to accept you as a bisexual with a major in boy.

i can't hang in large groups of lesbians, myself.  i smoke too much, i eat meat, i like porn, i'm anti-political, and most of my friends are dudes.  secretly they love the motorcycle, but there's a lot of butt-hurt in lesbian communities, also.

really, it's everywhere.  i guess skin color does stroll before other less obvious traits, but having visible tattoos adds pretty much the same stigma.  i've walked by women who clutch their purses and children to them and wondered wtf?  till i realized what i look like to them.
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Indja

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Re: Gayness
« Reply #2478 on: October 12, 2011, 04:15:51 PM »

^It's strange what preconceptions people have and where they come up. I would have expected the gay and lesbian community to be a little more open-minded, but actually some of the most resistance and unpleasantness towards my sexuality has come from queer people. I'm a tough old bunny, but I imagine it could be extremely hard for bi teenagers who turn to the queer community for support.

As for people being freaked out about you, that baffles me as well. You're such a sweetie! :)
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Agonistes

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Re: Gayness
« Reply #2479 on: October 12, 2011, 05:06:57 PM »

yes, but i look evil.
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Indja

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Re: Gayness
« Reply #2480 on: October 12, 2011, 06:04:12 PM »

Maybe lose the devil horns and pointy pitchfork?
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CottonCandy

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Re: Gayness
« Reply #2481 on: October 12, 2011, 06:54:51 PM »

I do not know why, but people seem to get the idea that I'm gay really easily. I don't know if there's something that gives out gay vibes in me, as I am straight...

Yesterday at LGBT this girl was absolutely convinced I was a lesbian and kept on making eyes at me. So, you might say this is because I'm at a LGBT meeting... However, this has happened before, and she didn't even consider the possibility I might be bi, oh no, it was assumed that I was full-on gay.

I just find this all hilarious but a bit baffling.

just chalk it up to wishful thinking on her part.  8)

I would think so! She was very Shane-y so I suppose she might want to try hit on straight girls for funsies.

^It's strange what preconceptions people have and where they come up. I would have expected the gay and lesbian community to be a little more open-minded, but actually some of the most resistance and unpleasantness towards my sexuality has come from queer people. I'm a tough old bunny, but I imagine it could be extremely hard for bi teenagers who turn to the queer community for support.

As for people being freaked out about you, that baffles me as well. You're such a sweetie! :)

There's a bi girl I know who said coming out as bi (after she thought she was a lesbian) was harder than coming out as a lesbian. The queer community abandoned her after she got a boyfriend, that she'd gone "mainstream", or back in the closet. Surely it shouldn't matter?
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imaginary friend

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Re: Gayness
« Reply #2482 on: October 12, 2011, 06:57:20 PM »

The worst was when this guy asked if I was trisexual.

I'm not even sure what that is.

Are you sure that wasn't a pickup line? As in, "I'll try anything once?"

it totally was.

Mockery

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Re: Gayness
« Reply #2483 on: October 13, 2011, 11:33:15 AM »

i guess skin color does stroll before other less obvious traits, but having visible tattoos adds pretty much the same stigma.  i've walked by women who clutch their purses and children to them and wondered wtf?  till i realized what i look like to them.

I can relate to this shit just by having a lip piercing.  Going to a part of the South where they had a shop called 'Clothing for the distinguished lady and gentleman' and having women clutch their bags and silently sneer at you.  One guy at a bus stop refused to leave his wife alone with me not so long ago, and I thought as a little social experiment I would observe their change in behavior if I put my posh-looking blazer on.  She took a look at me in the blazer and said 'it's alright, dear, you go on' to her husband.  

My dad has a habit of doing that. I love my Dad but it bothers me when he starts judging people because they have piercings or tattoos. I give him some slack because he's old fashioned and such. It still bugs me though.
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Re: Gayness
« Reply #2484 on: October 13, 2011, 03:16:02 PM »

The worst was when this guy asked if I was trisexual.

I'm not even sure what that is.

Are you sure that wasn't a pickup line? As in, "I'll try anything once?"

it totally was.

Damn, then I missed my opportunity to tell him that he wasn't my type.
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Cherry Chesterfield

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Re: Gayness
« Reply #2486 on: October 14, 2011, 02:12:41 PM »

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44903115/ns/us_news-life/t/teen-kissing-another-male-cost-me-my-cheerleading-post/#.Tph3QHJVXi4

When Sister Marybride caught one of her best students kissing his girlfriend in an area off the hallway, she said:  "Ah, Mr. X, I see I have caught you in a tender moment".

Apropos of nothing - I was just reminded of it is all.
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Andy Pants

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Re: Gayness
« Reply #2487 on: October 15, 2011, 03:43:10 AM »

I'm always asked if I'm asexual. *shrugs*

People often assume that I am asexual, which is infuriating seeing as I am bi. That or they're straight women who assume I'm gay or gay guys who assume I'm straight. I suppose I send out negative signals. I blame my sheltered anglican upbringing.
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Andy Pants

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Re: Gayness
« Reply #2488 on: October 15, 2011, 03:48:17 AM »

I have another question. Has anyone here come across yaoi or yuri?

yeah, but neither has much to do with gayness.   it's pretty hard to avoid crap manga on the internet.
Really? Because the whole thing focuses on homosexual relationships.

I was asking because on DA where I usually haunt, I've noticed that most gay people hate yaoi because they find it insulting and unrealistic. There is also this whole thing that hating yaoi makes you a homophobe and I wanted to get smart people opinions on this.

hating yaoi doesn't make you a homophobe, it just means you have good taste in comics.  heh.

a thing that focuses on homosexual anything is not necessarily FOR homosexuals.  i'm sure you are aware most viedo'd 'lesbian' porn is actually made for guys, not lesbians.  i'm not saying there are no gay people in the world who don't enjoy manga, but from my understanding, neither type of comic are necessarily 'gay comics.'
I think you're right. The people who enjoy that stuff are straight girls.

I just can't get over the fact that their are no black people or chubby people in yaoi. Everyone has to look like a girl and have perfect pecs.

Oh, if you hate yaoi and you're gay, that makes you a traitor to your species.


yeah, there are several genres of 'gay porn' (for lack of a better phrase) that appeals more to non-gays.  for that matter, i know a lot of gay folks who watch straight porn as their main source of porn.  i even know some lesbians who enjoy gay guy porn more than anything else.  it's really a toss-up as to what people actually enjoy, porn-wise; my theory is porn enjoyment is more of a learned behavior than actual sexuality.  the brain is a complicated place.

there's not a lot of ethnicity or overweight in any manga that i can think of.  unless it's a fat crime boss, or random character or something.  my assumption on that is that there's not the range of ethnicity in japan as there is in america, so the artists don't feel the need to express it; plus in porn, everybody's thin and gorgeous, it's porn.  to be sure ethnicity exists in any country, but not on the scale of diversity we are used to.  i doubt the omission is on purpose.

i've been a traitor to my species all along.  it doesn't matter what species you find yourself in, somebody will think you're not respecting it by one behavior or another.

I'm bi but I can only watch straight porn. I like the idea of being with a guy, but don't like seeing two guys together. Don't know what that's all about really.
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reality doesn't give a damn about our plans.

Quote from: Henry Rollins
Cynicism in nothing but intellectual cowardice. It's basically you not taking the time to deal with what is

Andy Pants

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Re: Gayness
« Reply #2489 on: October 15, 2011, 03:53:23 AM »

yes, but i look evil.

What's wrong with being evil?

At least you know hardly anyones gunna fuck with you.
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reality doesn't give a damn about our plans.

Quote from: Henry Rollins
Cynicism in nothing but intellectual cowardice. It's basically you not taking the time to deal with what is
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