THESHADOWBOX.NET

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

On Twitter? If you're not, you should be. If you are, make sure you're following @AmandaPalmer, @AFPwire, The @DresdenDolls, and this list which includes all of Team AFP!

Pages: 1 ... 176 177 178 179 [180] 181 182 183 184 ... 204   Go Down

Author Topic: Gayness  (Read 109422 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

imaginary friend

  • Enigmagnetic
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 14047
  • be the porn you want to see
    • View Profile
Re: Gayness
« Reply #2685 on: May 30, 2012, 05:42:09 PM »

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/iRNbC-aSFLc" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/iRNbC-aSFLc</a>

imaginary friend

  • Enigmagnetic
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 14047
  • be the porn you want to see
    • View Profile

imaginary friend

  • Enigmagnetic
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 14047
  • be the porn you want to see
    • View Profile

Indja

  • wants my
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 16204
  • Go, Joe, GO!
    • View Profile
Re: Gayness
« Reply #2688 on: June 07, 2012, 08:45:48 PM »

http://io9.com/5916722/the-stress-of-being-bisexual-drives-young-people-to-drink

I can believe that. Bisexuality sucks balls. Honestly, I think if I had a magic wand, I'd make myself straight.


I actually came on here to say something about it. Last night I was at Seamy's and we were having a few drinks with his housemates when someone brought up the whole story about John Travolta having a gay affair. One of them was like, "Well, they said it started before he got married so maybe like he's bisexual and can't help it". I said that bisexuality doesn't mean that you can't be monogamous and that it's no excuse for cheating on the person you're married to or going out with or whatever. Anyway, then they all started saying things like that bisexuality isn't a real thing anyway, and people are just being greedy and should stfu and 'pick a side'. One girl actually said, "You get a few years to fuck around, and then it's like grow the fuck up and choose". I can't remember if Seamy was there for the conversation or not, but I didn't feel like I could argue it on my own and if he was there he wasn't saying anything. It just made me feel really shitty, and like my sexuality's completely invisible because if I'm fucking a guy then I must be straight, and if I was fucking a girl then obviously people would just assume that I was a lesbian. Makes me want to shoot things.
Logged

Cirque

  • will emerge from the cocoon as a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4361
    • View Profile
Re: Gayness
« Reply #2689 on: June 07, 2012, 09:15:26 PM »

I was talking to two people last night who said they couldn't understand being gay but not bisexual.
I classify myself as gay but I have no idea why it's so hard for people to understand that people can be attracted to both men and women equally (or in different proportions but that makes it harder to explain - "Oh so you really like men").
It doesn't make sense to me that it's so hard for them to comprehend, to me it seems pretty straight forward.

I also think in an ideal world we would all be bisexual, attracted to men, women and any variety of trans people (Well that sounds confusing, let's just say anyone who falls under T)

Indja

  • wants my
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 16204
  • Go, Joe, GO!
    • View Profile
Re: Gayness
« Reply #2690 on: June 07, 2012, 10:25:05 PM »

Well, I don't agree with your last point - I know a lot of people, especially a lot of bi people, say that everyone's a bit bisexual, but I don't think so. I think it's a spectrum, and all points on that spectrum are as valid as any other. 'Bisexual' is just a term for people more in the middle of the spectrum than at the edges.

But yeah, I don't know why people think it's so hard to understand either. Or, actually, why it matters if they can't understand it. I don't understand being straight or gay - I mean, I understand what it means and I accept it and everything, but it doesn't make *sense* to me like I can't imagine feeling it, can't quite get my head round how it must feel to only be sexually attracted to one gender. But that doesn't mean that I can't accept that people feel it, and that it's totally valid and reasonable. I don't understand why straight and gay people can't do the same with bisexuals. And you'd think that homosexual people would be better at it, but they're just a little bit quieter about their prejudice. Only some of them, of course, and some straight people are great, but it really fucking hurts when you think that the gay community will be a source of strength to you and then it's not.

And then there's the thing where if there isn't any open prejudice against bisexuals, they get ignored or left out of LGBT things. Like the letter is included, but say you're at a talk or a conference or something the speakers invariably speak as if everyone in the room was gay, with no recognition of bisexuality. It's often the same for transgender issues - there's the assumption that everyone in the room is gender normative, it sucks.


Sorry for the rant xD I'm usually alright with it, like I just shut up and get on with it, but I guess last night upset me a bit and now I need to let it out xD
Logged

slyvia k

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6928
    • View Profile
Re: Gayness
« Reply #2691 on: June 08, 2012, 05:24:59 AM »

well, i find it hard to understand that a person can be equally attracted to men and women all their lives... like, you know, always 50-50, always in the exact same way...
i can understand various stages of preference though, alternating one another...
but having said that, alas, i think the social stigma of bisexual comes from slutty people, who have nothing to do with bisexuality...
but you know, the prototype of the bisexual here is the slutty 17 year old who kisses girls in order to get guys to check her out.
and honestly, i have only met a few "real" bisexuals here...
most of them were of this fake, embarrassing kind.
i do know how to tell there's a difference, though, but i'm sure that most people who know nothing about gay subculture and stuff just think that all bisexuals are like that,
in it for fame and glory....
Logged

Indja

  • wants my
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 16204
  • Go, Joe, GO!
    • View Profile
Re: Gayness
« Reply #2692 on: June 08, 2012, 06:24:53 AM »

See, I get that experimenting is an important part of growing up and I have absolutely no problem with teenagers who identify as bi and then as they get older their sexuality develops into something else and they identify a different way instead - sexuality is always changing, and never more so than when you're a teenager. But there's a difference between experimenting for yourself, and for the attention of others. Mostly I just feel sorry for those kids, if they really don't think people will look at them otherwise it's kind of sad.


Also, I'm not sure I understood your first point, but to clarify - being bi doesn't mean that you're attracted 50/50 to men and women all the time. It just means that your attraction to both is significant enough - and significant by your own standards, nobody else's - to rule out a broadly hetero or homo identity. For me, I slightly prefer men (it's the beards ;) ) but my attraction to women is significant enough for me to find the label of "straight" completely inaccurate.
Logged

Niels

  • Shadows stuffed with organs
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Online Online
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1914
    • View Profile
Re: Gayness
« Reply #2693 on: June 08, 2012, 06:33:42 AM »

If you look at the Kinsey scale, both gay & straight are one exclusive category (6 and 0 respectively), but "bisexual" is used to classify everything from 1-5. Of course it's going to be confusing! If you use just the one term to describe everyone from those 5 categories, it's not going to be inaccurate and confusing.
Maybe we should just start using the Kinsey numbers to describe sexuality... That would already be somewhat less confusing. It's still not 100% accurate, but better than the current system.

As for experimenting... I don't think experimenting with same-sex relationships necessarily makes you gay/lesbian/bi... I think it can just be healthy curiosity. I know so many lesbians and gays who were at one point either in a heterosexual relationship, or had sex with someone of the opposite sex, but none of them were ever straight or even bi... they were all gay people who experimented with straight sex.

I've never been attracted to girls, but I would totally be open to it. In fact, I would love it if I ever had a crush on a girl. I can't really imagine it right now, but I'd be totally open to it.
Logged

slyvia k

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6928
    • View Profile
Re: Gayness
« Reply #2694 on: June 08, 2012, 07:27:47 AM »


For me, I slightly prefer men (it's the beards ;) ) but my attraction to women is significant enough for me to find the label of "straight" completely inaccurate.
that's just cause you've never seen me with a beard  >:D
Logged

Indja

  • wants my
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 16204
  • Go, Joe, GO!
    • View Profile
Re: Gayness
« Reply #2695 on: June 14, 2012, 07:19:34 PM »


For me, I slightly prefer men (it's the beards ;) ) but my attraction to women is significant enough for me to find the label of "straight" completely inaccurate.
that's just cause you've never seen me with a beard  >:D

You get a fake one RIGHT NOW, missy!! xD


@Niels - Yours sounds like a really healthy attitude :) Especially the bit about how having a het relationship doesn't make you straight or bi. I think people just rush to put a label both on themselves and on others, whether the label is totally accurate or not. Generally though I think the easiest thing to do is just talk to people about their sexuality rather than rely on a generalised concept of orientation. Like just having a chat about whether they like guys or girls or both or neither, it's totally easier.
Logged

imaginary friend

  • Enigmagnetic
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 14047
  • be the porn you want to see
    • View Profile
Re: Gayness
« Reply #2696 on: June 14, 2012, 07:35:25 PM »

well, i find it hard to understand that a person can be equally attracted to men and women all their lives... like, you know, always 50-50, always in the exact same way...
i can understand various stages of preference though, alternating one another...
but having said that, alas, i think the social stigma of bisexual comes from slutty people, who have nothing to do with bisexuality...
but you know, the prototype of the bisexual here is the slutty 17 year old who kisses girls in order to get guys to check her out.
and honestly, i have only met a few "real" bisexuals here...
most of them were of this fake, embarrassing kind.
i do know how to tell there's a difference, though, but i'm sure that most people who know nothing about gay subculture and stuff just think that all bisexuals are like that,
in it for fame and glory....


of all the people I've ever met who've identified as bi, only one was like that. she's 33 now, so that could change...but probably not by much.

CottonCandy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 626
    • View Profile
Re: Gayness
« Reply #2697 on: June 15, 2012, 02:47:34 AM »

There are so many stigmas relating to bisexuality, maybe more than gay/lesbians get... Bisexuals get it "from both sides", discrimination from straight and gay people! Bi people are (misconceptions aplenty coming up!): greedy, slutty, can't choose, "gay in the making", gay for attention (but actually straight), and defined by their current partner. Even the current president of my lgbt society said she wouldn't date bi girls... And I was baffled. Apparently she is convinced they'll eventually go back to men as it's easier.
Logged

imaginary friend

  • Enigmagnetic
  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 14047
  • be the porn you want to see
    • View Profile
Re: Gayness
« Reply #2698 on: June 15, 2012, 11:16:19 AM »

Blue Canary

  • You can't ignore my techno
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 1763
    • View Profile
Re: Gayness
« Reply #2699 on: June 15, 2012, 05:03:18 PM »

There are so many stigmas relating to bisexuality, maybe more than gay/lesbians get... Bisexuals get it "from both sides", discrimination from straight and gay people! Bi people are (misconceptions aplenty coming up!): greedy, slutty, can't choose, "gay in the making", gay for attention (but actually straight), and defined by their current partner. Even the current president of my lgbt society said she wouldn't date bi girls... And I was baffled. Apparently she is convinced they'll eventually go back to men as it's easier.
Ugh, that makes me so mad. Even if someone decides that they prefer the opposite sex after a few encounters, there's no big deal in experimenting to find out what you like.
I consider myself bisexual even though I haven't had much experience with women (or men, even hahaha). I tend to be more physically attracted to men, but I tend to be much more emotionally comfortable with women.
Logged
You should totally barf on all their dicks. I will help.
Pages: 1 ... 176 177 178 179 [180] 181 182 183 184 ... 204   Go Up