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[Alyss]

The first draft of my latest play, The Mortician's Daughter is now finished (after two long years). The piece is a dark fairytale that deals with the young Maria, a woman who commits suicide only to be brought back to life by her mortician. The resulting web of mistaken identities and unchecked obsession eventually returns Maria to the unhappy existence she sought to escape from before. Enjoy!

Comments and criticism would be much appreciated for future drafts

http://www.box.net/shared/unx5vn8jr2

[Wednesday Friday]

What time period is it supposed to be set in?

[Alyss]

When I wrote it I had the Grimm's in mind, though it's purposefully not stated exactly when it's set. Due to the age Sophie is when she's married however, and the general technology level in Catanach's workshop, the play works best in the early 1800s.

[Wednesday Friday]

In that case, have you considered writing it using language that's more strictly redolent of that era? I read the first couple of pages and found that some of the language/phrases used seemed quite modern and colloquial, which jarred a bit with the Grimm's fairytale-esque setting I imagined. For example, the phrase "massive facial trauma" seems too technical and medicalised for the time, more CSI than 19th C. So yeah, I think at times the language slips into being too modern, unless that's your intention, maybe try and work on that in future drafts. Just a suggestion.

But seems like some good work so far. I'll read more when I get a chance. Did you do the artwork?

[Alyss]

Anything else? Comments on the plot, characters, dialogue, style, etc?