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Author Topic: Family & relationship advice needed!  (Read 6513 times)

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KtLee

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Family & relationship advice needed!
« on: October 17, 2009, 03:45:55 PM »

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caddy

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2009, 09:23:04 PM »

I think you know what to do.
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Rob

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2009, 12:12:42 AM »

Yeah...this isn't going to work.
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Andy Pants

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2009, 12:36:59 AM »

Here is my advice on family and relationships:

Keep them as far apart as possible.

I'm pretty certain you don't want your family to try and involve themselves in your romantic life. You should pay them the same courtesy.

You don't like what your cousin is doing? That's good for you, but really, who gives a FUCK what you think? It's not your place and even if you say something the only thing you'd succeed in doing is harming/alienating a family member and making yourself look like a bitch, which you would be, because it's not your fucking place.

If this girl is determined to marry this guy nothing you can do or say is going to stop her or even make her reconsider. If you do say something you're only asking for a lot of resentment and spite to get thrown your way until the relationship ends. Only then will she be able to reassess and determine whether it may have in fact been premature. The expression 'love is blind' has nothing to do with physical appearance.

Friends are for giving and receiving relationship advice, because they are disposable. Family members should stay the fuck away from this kind of thing because they're meant to be around forever. What if this does work out? Have you considered that possibility? What if twenty years from now she's still with this guy? Can you afford to have a ruined relationship with a family member for that length of time? Don't be stupid. Don't get involved.

Why is this so hard for people to understand? Your family members sex-life / love-life is none of your fucking business.
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CeeGBee

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2009, 01:56:12 AM »

This is why people think ALL 16-year-olds are stupid....

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The Angel Raliel

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2009, 03:25:57 AM »

quick question.... why is this guy having such a profound affect on her? were there problems at school/home to start with?
best thing to do is have a lo0ng conversation with her about how dropping out of everything to be with a guy is areally bad move as sooner or later she will resent him for not allowing her to have an indipendant life....suggest that she move in with him by all means, but not drop out of school or marry him just yet.....but talk to her as a friend not as someone whois telling her that she is wrong.....
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KtLee

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2009, 06:53:57 AM »

Yeah...this isn't going to work.

That's what I thought at first
but then when this whole dropping out of school thing happened
it took everything onto a whole new level.

Here is my advice on family and relationships:

Keep them as far apart as possible.

I'm pretty certain you don't want your family to try and involve themselves in your romantic life. You should pay them the same courtesy.

You don't like what your cousin is doing? That's good for you, but really, who gives a FUCK what you think? It's not your place and even if you say something the only thing you'd succeed in doing is harming/alienating a family member and making yourself look like a bitch, which you would be, because it's not your fucking place.

If this girl is determined to marry this guy nothing you can do or say is going to stop her or even make her reconsider. If you do say something you're only asking for a lot of resentment and spite to get thrown your way until the relationship ends. Only then will she be able to reassess and determine whether it may have in fact been premature. The expression 'love is blind' has nothing to do with physical appearance.

Friends are for giving and receiving relationship advice, because they are disposable. Family members should stay the fuck away from this kind of thing because they're meant to be around forever. What if this does work out? Have you considered that possibility? What if twenty years from now she's still with this guy? Can you afford to have a ruined relationship with a family member for that length of time? Don't be stupid. Don't get involved.

Why is this so hard for people to understand? Your family members sex-life / love-life is none of your fucking business.

You're being quite harsh.
You are right in that her love life is none of my 'fucking' business
but she is 16 years old and completely changing the course of her life
from what she wanted to do, which was to become a lawyer
(and I think she really could have done it)
to nothing. 
To living in a little house with him and his parents
and probably breaking up with him and having nothing. 

quick question.... why is this guy having such a profound affect on her? were there problems at school/home to start with?
best thing to do is have a lo0ng conversation with her about how dropping out of everything to be with a guy is areally bad move as sooner or later she will resent him for not allowing her to have an indipendant life....suggest that she move in with him by all means, but not drop out of school or marry him just yet.....but talk to her as a friend not as someone whois telling her that she is wrong.....

You know what first relationships are like when you're a kid.
They're exciting and you want to do anything to please them.
I think I should talk to her, but I'm just afraid that she'll resent me like PunkRocker1989 said.   
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Rob

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #7 on: October 18, 2009, 01:05:40 PM »

Maybe it will...
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The Angel Raliel

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #8 on: October 19, 2009, 03:15:52 AM »

would you rather she dropped out and ended up a single mother with no prospects or resent you for a few weeks?
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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2009, 03:17:55 AM »

p.s. ignore punkrocker1989 as not well thought out strong opinions seem to be a speciality!
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Andy Pants

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2009, 03:54:11 AM »

would you rather she dropped out and ended up a single mother with no prospects or resent you for a few weeks?

Hahahahaha, a few weeks, try a few years. How much experience have you actually had in situations like these? I am forceful because I can see someone about to make a huge fucking mistake and not one of you trying to stop them. I thought a board full of homosexuals would have a little bit of a better understanding of the concept that someone should never try and interfere in the love-life of a family member just because they dissaprove.

I do however suppourt the idea of encouraging her to stay in school. This is something you are allowed to give her advice on.
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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #11 on: October 19, 2009, 04:02:29 AM »

would you rather she dropped out and ended up a single mother with no prospects or resent you for a few weeks?

Hahahahaha, a few weeks, try a few years. How much experience have you actually had in situations like these? I am forceful because I can see someone about to make a huge fucking mistake and not one of you trying to stop them. I thought a board full of homosexuals would have a little bit of a better understanding of the concept that someone should never try and interfere in the love-life of a family member just because they dissaprove.

I do however suppourt the idea of encouraging her to stay in school. This is something you are allowed to give her advice on.

'a board full of homosexuals.'  really?

also...'allowed'....lol.  you're forgetting that at sixteen, this cousin is still a minor, and therefore legally incapable of making the decisions she seems to be trying to make.  her family has every right, and indeed, responsibility, to head her off from making an even huger mistake than the one you're telling the poster she is fixing to make, and in fact, can force her to stay in school at least until they no longer have to care for her under their roof.  i very seriously doubt that at sixteen she can marry and move out without permission...at least in most states.  rofl 'allowed.'
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Andy Pants

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #12 on: October 19, 2009, 04:36:35 AM »

would you rather she dropped out and ended up a single mother with no prospects or resent you for a few weeks?

Hahahahaha, a few weeks, try a few years. How much experience have you actually had in situations like these? I am forceful because I can see someone about to make a huge fucking mistake and not one of you trying to stop them. I thought a board full of homosexuals would have a little bit of a better understanding of the concept that someone should never try and interfere in the love-life of a family member just because they dissaprove.

I do however suppourt the idea of encouraging her to stay in school. This is something you are allowed to give her advice on.

'a board full of homosexuals.'  really?

also...'allowed'....lol.  you're forgetting that at sixteen, this cousin is still a minor, and therefore legally incapable of making the decisions she seems to be trying to make.  her family has every right, and indeed, responsibility, to head her off from making an even huger mistake than the one you're telling the poster she is fixing to make, and in fact, can force her to stay in school at least until they no longer have to care for her under their roof.  i very seriously doubt that at sixteen she can marry and move out without permission...at least in most states.  rofl 'allowed.'

What is you problem with that description? Is this not a board or forum where the number of homosexuals is larger than on other forums?

I don't know all the details of the situation but from what I read I got the impression that she was getting engaged to this guy, not marrying him, so your first point is redundant.

Secondly, I know that under Australian law a sixteen year-old is well within their rights to move out of home and it is very much not a legal right to force your children to continue to studying, whether they live with you or not. I don't know what the laws of your shitty country are.

Thirdly, yes, allowed. As in within acceptable social etiquette.

Did you have any legitimate arguments in your reply?

Additional...

And Ktlee, remeber this is just my advice, nobody is obligated to take it. I don't really care what you do, take a chace and possibly fuck up your relationship with this person if you want to. I'm more sympathetic to your cousin for having such a shitty family. Your supposed to suppourt your family members in their life-decisions, even if the decisions they make are retarded. That is the whole point of being a good family.

And an open question to the other posters on this forum. How does it feel to be so morally superior to everyone all the time? I bet it makes you all warm and smug inside. If only you could make everyones decisions for them! I bet the world would instantly become a better place.
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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #13 on: October 19, 2009, 04:57:39 AM »

would you rather she dropped out and ended up a single mother with no prospects or resent you for a few weeks?

Hahahahaha, a few weeks, try a few years. How much experience have you actually had in situations like these? I am forceful because I can see someone about to make a huge fucking mistake and not one of you trying to stop them. I thought a board full of homosexuals would have a little bit of a better understanding of the concept that someone should never try and interfere in the love-life of a family member just because they dissaprove.

I do however suppourt the idea of encouraging her to stay in school. This is something you are allowed to give her advice on.

'a board full of homosexuals.'  really?

also...'allowed'....lol.  you're forgetting that at sixteen, this cousin is still a minor, and therefore legally incapable of making the decisions she seems to be trying to make.  her family has every right, and indeed, responsibility, to head her off from making an even huger mistake than the one you're telling the poster she is fixing to make, and in fact, can force her to stay in school at least until they no longer have to care for her under their roof.  i very seriously doubt that at sixteen she can marry and move out without permission...at least in most states.  rofl 'allowed.'

What is you problem with that description? Is this not a board or forum where the number of homosexuals is larger than on other forums?

I don't know all the details of the situation but from what I read I got the impression that she was getting engaged to this guy, not marrying him, so your first point is redundant.

Secondly, I know that under Australian law a sixteen year-old is well within their rights to move out of home and it is very much not a legal right to force your children to continue to studying, whether they live with you or not. I don't know what the laws of your shitty country are.

Thirdly, yes, allowed. As in within acceptable social etiquette.

Did you have any legitimate arguments in your reply?

all my arguments were legitimate; your attitude isn't.

it doesn't matter what this board is made of; if you're not one, your should guard your tone when mentioning them.  period.

engagement is a prelude to marriage in almost any society (check your first post in this thread; you say 'if this girl is determined to marry this guy, blah blah negative blah').  redundancy is in no way a part of my argument.  it's going to be a little harder for you to negate than that; sorry.  look up some new words.

of course i am speaking from the laws in my shitty country; that's where i live, and am familiar with the laws.  it doesn't make a shit to me what the laws are elsewhere, because i'm not invested in this situation, i am posting an opinion on a message board (and actually was under the impression the poster was american, mistakenly, or i wouldn't have mentioned the 'minor' laws).  so, okay, anyone who wants to in australia can fuck up their life over a dude, no problem.  the parents still have the option to a) cut her off, or b) stop paying for school, if they were, which it looks like she doesn't much give a damn about anyway.  or of course, c) slap her in the damn mouth and tell her to grow the hell up.  so they might have to put up with her having a temper tantrum about her lover; big deal.  it is only a temper tantrum; in the end, family is family, and it might take her getting older to realize this.

regardless, censuring a sixteen-year-old, and disapproving of her relationship is a lot different than telling an adult they can or can't do as they wish, i don't care what country it is in.  a child still requires different treatment than an adult, and it would be a lot easier to stop her foolishness now than to try to put her life back together after this guy lets her fuck it up over him.  you're talking like, at age sixteen, she has the actual ability and right to make life decisions with familial impunity, and it's just not so.


edited to answer your open question to the forum; it feels awesome.  maybe when you're an adult yourself, you will know how awesome it is to be so morally superior all the time.  hell, if you're american, you're born feeling that way; ask around.
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Andy Pants

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #14 on: October 19, 2009, 05:25:25 AM »

would you rather she dropped out and ended up a single mother with no prospects or resent you for a few weeks?

Hahahahaha, a few weeks, try a few years. How much experience have you actually had in situations like these? I am forceful because I can see someone about to make a huge fucking mistake and not one of you trying to stop them. I thought a board full of homosexuals would have a little bit of a better understanding of the concept that someone should never try and interfere in the love-life of a family member just because they dissaprove.

I do however suppourt the idea of encouraging her to stay in school. This is something you are allowed to give her advice on.

'a board full of homosexuals.'  really?

also...'allowed'....lol.  you're forgetting that at sixteen, this cousin is still a minor, and therefore legally incapable of making the decisions she seems to be trying to make.  her family has every right, and indeed, responsibility, to head her off from making an even huger mistake than the one you're telling the poster she is fixing to make, and in fact, can force her to stay in school at least until they no longer have to care for her under their roof.  i very seriously doubt that at sixteen she can marry and move out without permission...at least in most states.  rofl 'allowed.'

What is you problem with that description? Is this not a board or forum where the number of homosexuals is larger than on other forums?

I don't know all the details of the situation but from what I read I got the impression that she was getting engaged to this guy, not marrying him, so your first point is redundant.

Secondly, I know that under Australian law a sixteen year-old is well within their rights to move out of home and it is very much not a legal right to force your children to continue to studying, whether they live with you or not. I don't know what the laws of your shitty country are.

Thirdly, yes, allowed. As in within acceptable social etiquette.

Did you have any legitimate arguments in your reply?

all my arguments were legitimate; your attitude isn't.

I think you mean 'welcome' and I see your point. Fine, I'll apologise for the 'shitty country' jab. It has produced some good bands I suppose, but Australia is still better.

it doesn't matter what this board is made of; if you're not one, your should guard your tone when mentioning them.  period.

Hahaha. I AM ONE! I guess I should apologise to myself for mentioning homosexuals in my presence. Is this like the Voldemort thing? Are homosexualists the demographic that shall not be named?

engagement is a prelude to marriage in almost any society.  therefore, redundancy is in no way a part of my argument.  it's going to be a little harder for you to negate than that; sorry.

FACT: It is NOT illegal for a sixteen year-old to be engaged to someone.


of course i am speaking from the laws in my shitty country; that's where i live, and am familiar with the laws.  it doesn't make a shit to me what the laws are elsewhere, because i'm not invested in this situation, i am posting an opinion on a message board (and actually was under the impression the poster was american, mistakenly, or i wouldn't have mentioned the 'minor' laws).  so, okay, anyone who wants to in australia can fuck up their life over a dude, no problem.  the parents still have the option to a) cut her off, or b) stop paying for school, if they were, which it looks like she doesn't much give a damn about anyway.  or of course, c) slap her in the damn mouth and tell her to grow the hell up.

I don't care for any of those scenarios, because plainly and simply they have never worked and will never work. People need to and will make their own mistakes, especially when it comes to this sort of thing. This is how people grow up, they fuck up and they learn from it. They don't grow up by being punished for making fool-hardy decisions about love. That is the very opposite of encouraging someone to grow up.

regardless, censuring a sixteen-year-old, and disapproving of her relationship is a lot different than telling an adult they can or can't do as they wish, i don't care what country it is in.  a child still requires different treatment than an adult, and it would be a lot easier to stop her foolishness now than to try to put her life back together after this guy lets her fuck it up over him.  you're talking like, at age sixteen, she has the actual ability and right to make life decisions with familial impunity, and it's just not so.

Voicing disapproval is not something I have a huge problem with. I think it's a shitty thing to do but it's not the breach of rights that the scenarios you mentioned before were, but I believe that this girls parents responsibility, no-one elses. That is my main point.



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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #15 on: October 19, 2009, 05:41:57 AM »


I think you mean 'welcome' and I see your point. Fine, I'll apologise for the 'shitty country' jab. It has produced some good bands I suppose, but Australia is still better.

never been; i hope to see it one day.  a good friend of mine went a few years back while working for dame edna; he went on for quite some time about how awesome it is there.  i'd very much like to visit the place.


Quote

Hahaha. I AM ONE! I guess I should apologise to myself for mentioning homosexuals in my presence. Is this like the Voldemort thing? Are homosexualists the demographic that shall not be named?

actually, i was unaware that you are one.  it increases my opinion of you.  you have to understand though, that your tone often is somewhat belligerent, and therefore, i thought this was part of that.

engagement is a prelude to marriage in almost any society.  therefore, redundancy is in no way a part of my argument.  it's going to be a little harder for you to negate than that; sorry.

Quote
FACT: It is NOT illegal for a sixteen year-old to be engaged to someone.

no, it isn't.  and obviously it is also not illegal for her to drop out of school or move in with the guy, either.  my point is not the fact of the engagement but the ramifications surrounding it.



Quote

I don't care for any of those scenarios, because plainly and simply they have never worked and will never work. People need to and will make their own mistakes, especially when it comes to this sort of thing. This is how people grow up, they fuck up and they learn from it. They don't grow up by being punished for making fool-hardy decisions about love. That is the very opposite of encouraging someone to grow up.

i agree to a point, but again, we are talking about a teenager, not a full-on child, but nowhere near an adult, either.  i don't care for parents getting in the middle of someone's love life, child or not, especially when i was that child, myself, and they all were telling me i shouldn't kiss girls.  but, by the same token, i knew better than to drop out of school for a girl, or try to move in with a girl's parents before i was even old enough to donate blood.  how would we support ourselves?  answer:  we wouldn't.  her parents would.  which they might have been perfectly willing to do, but not in the style to which i wanted to become accustomed.  all this only means that in one aspect, i knew better.  this girl does not, or isn't allowing herself to see it because of this guy.  i actually question how wonderful he is to be so okay with her dropping out of school to pursue a life of 'living with the parents' with him.


Quote
Voicing disapproval is not something I have a huge problem with. I think it's a shitty thing to do but it's not the breach of rights that the scenarios you mentioned before were, but I believe that this girls parents responsibility, no-one elses. That is my main point.


it's a valid one.  but i do think the people around her have enough responsibility for her to at least let her know that, should she pursue these circumstances she has chosen, she is also choosing consequences.  you spoke as though it is the girl's right to run off and do whatever she wants to do, and it certainly seems to be, yes.  but is it also her right to shit on those who have raised her and expect better from her?  granted their expectations are not 'rights' but, as her family, they deserve consideration from her.  otherwise she is basically giving a big 'fuck you' to all of them.  at the very least, it is important that she sees that as she carries on with her decisions.

honesty is a big part of that, too.  i've lost friends who couldn't handle my relationships, and vice versa.  in the instance of myself losing friends, had they told me they were unable to get along with my s/o, i would have been able to handle that, and act accordingly, but instead they chose to be shits about it.  in the case of me losing friends whose s/o's i could not get along with, one of them was an abusive situation, and i flat couldn't watch it keep happening, and the other was about drugs; again, something i had to turn my back on, because my help wasnt needed or wanted.  there is nothing wrong with telling someone you have apprehension or disapproval about their relationship--so long as you don't attack them about it.
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KtLee

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #16 on: October 19, 2009, 02:42:25 PM »

I don't want anybody to be fighting over this :(
It's not a case of me not accepting her choice of partner.
Louis is a really nice guy, we've spoken on many occasions
it's just the fact that she is dropping out of school that is worrying her family and I
I would never dream of telling her not to be with this guy,
he makes her happy
but they are both very young and naive
and I just don't want her to make a decision she might regret.

I would much prefer if she stayed with him (engaged or otherwise)
finished college and then explored her options
because they'll have a much happier life together if they can succeed, educationally.

Thank you all for your advice.
PunkRocker, I still think that your calling our family shitty is not acceptable
as we are supporting her as much as we can
Agonistes, I like your thinking on the matter. 
I'm thinking of just having a discussion with her about the school thing
and not mentioning the boyfriend,
good idea?
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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #17 on: October 19, 2009, 03:20:28 PM »

that is a good idea.  maybe, if you got the boyfriend on board, he could help encourage her to stay in school, if he could be made to see the benefits longterm of her waiting to 'be with' him, so to speak.

i've actually had a similar problem with my daughter 'in law.'  it's not the fiancee that's a problem (other than his personality doesn't match anyone's in the family, so the adjustment period was difficult, but we all handled it), it's the fact that she was willing to not pursue her GED (that's a high school diploma; she had dropped out earlier because of illness and was supposed to be taking the equivalency test), or get a job, or really do anything but be a wife and mother (although she isn't a mother yet).  at nineteen, she is able to make these decisions on her own, but couldn't understand why she didn't have as much family support as her brother, who is actively pursuing a career and making a fortune right out of high school.

right now the fiancee is off earning his trucking degree and license, at which point he himself will be making a fortune when he starts work officially.  that's good, and he loves and supports her willingly, but it would be nice to see her get off the couch and do something for herself, and for them, even without him around.  i've actually found talking to and supporting him emotionally helps a lot toward getting him to motivate her, in the long run.
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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #18 on: October 27, 2009, 03:50:25 PM »

This has been a test of the Screwed-Up-Teenager Alert system.

Had this been an actual screwed-up teenager, the resolution of the situation would
have been far less clear.

Thank you for your participation in this Test.  In this way, we can ensure optimal
efficiency in dealing with future screwed-up-teenager emergencies.
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Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #19 on: October 27, 2009, 03:52:54 PM »

The plot is unfolded...
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Anyway, you're just walking around with these teeth in your vagina and you think it's normal cos like, who do you ask about that shit? Then, one day you go to have sex with someone & they're all "WHY DOES YOUR VAGINA HAVE A TOOTH IN IT?" That'd be damn awkward.

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #20 on: October 28, 2009, 04:00:53 AM »

kind of gathered that this was one of these..... it is a dangerous line to tread as in the past, such social experiments on the Box have been the cause of some quite vitriolic and destructive fights

hopefully most people who saw this recognised the same hand as the one who had asked for our participation.
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@raliel

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #21 on: October 28, 2009, 06:41:24 AM »

and this is why I can no longer trust anyone on the box which used to be the one place on the internet with real people.
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I do not want to live to archive my own life.
I see it everywhere around me, especially with the popularity of web diaries, forums, and cell phones that take pictures.
I do not want to fall into the subtle trap of truly believing I Blog Therefore I Am.
amanda, 2005-04-15

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #22 on: October 28, 2009, 06:52:57 AM »

kind of gathered that this was one of these..... it is a dangerous line to tread as in the past, such social experiments on the Box have been the cause of some quite vitriolic and destructive fights

hopefully most people who saw this recognised the same hand as the one who had asked for our participation.

I did. That is why I didn't participate. I am not a fan of social experiments.

and this is why I can no longer trust anyone on the box which used to be the one place on the internet with real people.

99% of us are real. When you get older you will develop a bullshit detector that will help you weed out the one percent.
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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #23 on: October 28, 2009, 06:11:41 PM »

And to everyone else: I did warn you.

I'm sorry but do you really believe you made a legitimate effort to "warn" people that they should be on the lookout for a fake problem? Technically for this data to even be credible, there would have to be no warning, so either way this is ridiculous. Despite the fact that I did not post, I have a real friend in real life who has a real problem very similar to the one you described even if it's just a science project to you.
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Quote
I do not want to live to archive my own life.
I see it everywhere around me, especially with the popularity of web diaries, forums, and cell phones that take pictures.
I do not want to fall into the subtle trap of truly believing I Blog Therefore I Am.
amanda, 2005-04-15

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #24 on: October 28, 2009, 06:51:45 PM »

Anyway, I didn't want to give warning, but my tutor strongly advised it.  And yes I did make the effort, by saying deception may be used.  Would you prefer me to have said 'I am going to make a fake account and ask you about relationships' therefore rendering the whole thing entirely obvious?

So what you're saying is that your experiment depended on people not seeing or heeding the warning?
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Quote
I do not want to live to archive my own life.
I see it everywhere around me, especially with the popularity of web diaries, forums, and cell phones that take pictures.
I do not want to fall into the subtle trap of truly believing I Blog Therefore I Am.
amanda, 2005-04-15

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #25 on: October 29, 2009, 12:53:26 AM »

Hey guys,
I was wondering if I could get a little advice from you.

I have a 16 year old cousin, Amy
and she's been seeing this guy for the past month or so.
Last weekend, she dropped the bomb on the family
that she's dropping out of school and moving in with this guy
AND that they are engaged.
She's only known him a couple of months so I think this is completely inappropriate.
I know some would say that she will learn from her mistakes if we just let her get on with it
but this is her future we're talking about.
I've always been pretty close with Amy, but she is totally infatuated with Louis (the 'fiance)
and I don't think she'd listen to me.
Am I just being stupid to be angry about this?
I don't know what to do.

well, if her parents had any $$$ set aside for her college education, you should see if you can get your hands on it.  O0

#@!

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #26 on: November 09, 2009, 09:17:16 AM »

So I bought a kilt, have been wearing it for a while, and I love it. . . it is just so comfortable and stylish!

However; problem.

My father still doesn't know about it. . . and, I found out last night, he made a comment to my mother and sister (im not sure how the topic of men wearing skirted garments came up), that only gay men would wear a kilt.

So...how am I going to reconcile this? As he WILL see me in my kilt at some point in the next month.
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"He gave [property] to the use of the Industrious and Rational, (and Labour was to be his Title to it;) not to the Fancy or Covetousness of the Quarrelsom and Contentious."

-John Locke. The Second Treatise. Property. Section 34. Line 5.

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #27 on: November 09, 2009, 09:39:39 AM »

So I bought a kilt, have been wearing it for a while, and I love it. . . it is just so comfortable and stylish!

However; problem.

My father still doesn't know about it. . . and, I found out last night, he made a comment to my mother and sister (im not sure how the topic of men wearing skirted garments came up), that only gay men would wear a kilt.

So...how am I going to reconcile this? As he WILL see me in my kilt at some point in the next month.

I dare your dad to go to Scotland and say that.
They'd knock him seven shades of dead.

LibertyOfProperty

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #28 on: November 09, 2009, 10:38:22 AM »

So I bought a kilt, have been wearing it for a while, and I love it. . . it is just so comfortable and stylish!

However; problem.

My father still doesn't know about it. . . and, I found out last night, he made a comment to my mother and sister (im not sure how the topic of men wearing skirted garments came up), that only gay men would wear a kilt.

So...how am I going to reconcile this? As he WILL see me in my kilt at some point in the next month.

I dare your dad to go to Scotland and say that.
They'd knock him seven shades of dead.


Haha, that's what I was thinking. I already know that a kilt is the most masculine garment I can possibly wear. But what do I say to him?
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"He gave [property] to the use of the Industrious and Rational, (and Labour was to be his Title to it;) not to the Fancy or Covetousness of the Quarrelsom and Contentious."

-John Locke. The Second Treatise. Property. Section 34. Line 5.

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #29 on: November 09, 2009, 11:00:06 AM »

So I bought a kilt, have been wearing it for a while, and I love it. . . it is just so comfortable and stylish!

However; problem.

My father still doesn't know about it. . . and, I found out last night, he made a comment to my mother and sister (im not sure how the topic of men wearing skirted garments came up), that only gay men would wear a kilt.

So...how am I going to reconcile this? As he WILL see me in my kilt at some point in the next month.

I dare your dad to go to Scotland and say that.
They'd knock him seven shades of dead.


Haha, that's what I was thinking. I already know that a kilt is the most masculine garment I can possibly wear. But what do I say to him?
Make sure that when he sees you in your kilt, you're also making out with a girl. Irrefutable evidence that kilts aren't just for the gays.
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so why not take your chances and try?

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #30 on: November 09, 2009, 11:29:31 AM »

So I bought a kilt, have been wearing it for a while, and I love it. . . it is just so comfortable and stylish!

However; problem.

My father still doesn't know about it. . . and, I found out last night, he made a comment to my mother and sister (im not sure how the topic of men wearing skirted garments came up), that only gay men would wear a kilt.

So...how am I going to reconcile this? As he WILL see me in my kilt at some point in the next month.

I dare your dad to go to Scotland and say that.
They'd knock him seven shades of dead.


Haha, that's what I was thinking. I already know that a kilt is the most masculine garment I can possibly wear. But what do I say to him?


tell him that it was a long, difficult, emotional struggle accepting yourself as a scotsman, and that if he loves you he will understand that it is not your choice to be a scot, but rather the way you were made.  and, if he gives you any trouble, whack him with your shillelagh.  : )

if he still thinks a kilt isn't butch enough, show him this guy:



i'm by no means the femme sort of les bean, but it's not unusual for the mood to strike me to go to work in a great-kilt.  just, not on days i ride the motorcycle.
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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #31 on: November 09, 2009, 11:29:57 AM »

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #32 on: November 09, 2009, 11:43:41 AM »

So I bought a kilt, have been wearing it for a while, and I love it. . . it is just so comfortable and stylish!

However; problem.

My father still doesn't know about it. . . and, I found out last night, he made a comment to my mother and sister (im not sure how the topic of men wearing skirted garments came up), that only gay men would wear a kilt.

So...how am I going to reconcile this? As he WILL see me in my kilt at some point in the next month.

I dare your dad to go to Scotland and say that.
They'd knock him seven shades of dead.


Haha, that's what I was thinking. I already know that a kilt is the most masculine garment I can possibly wear. But what do I say to him?
Make sure that when he sees you in your kilt, you're also making out with a girl. Irrefutable evidence that kilts aren't just for the gays.

Well..unfortunately, she and I agreed to give each other "Space" for now, so that isn't the best option. =P


So I bought a kilt, have been wearing it for a while, and I love it. . . it is just so comfortable and stylish!

However; problem.

My father still doesn't know about it. . . and, I found out last night, he made a comment to my mother and sister (im not sure how the topic of men wearing skirted garments came up), that only gay men would wear a kilt.

So...how am I going to reconcile this? As he WILL see me in my kilt at some point in the next month.

I dare your dad to go to Scotland and say that.
They'd knock him seven shades of dead.


Haha, that's what I was thinking. I already know that a kilt is the most masculine garment I can possibly wear. But what do I say to him?


tell him that it was a long, difficult, emotional struggle accepting yourself as a scotsman, and that if he loves you he will understand that it is not your choice to be a scot, but rather the way you were made.  and, if he gives you any trouble, whack him with your shillelagh.  : )

if he still thinks a kilt isn't butch enough, show him this guy:



i'm by no means the femme sort of les bean, but it's not unusual for the mood to strike me to go to work in a great-kilt.  just, not on days i ride the motorcycle.

Lmao; great! And yes I am not even scottish. . . I'm Sicilian by ancestry (American by culture), but this utilikilt is far too awesome for that to get in the way. By the way, that's the point of a utilikilt, to be an American product. =)
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"He gave [property] to the use of the Industrious and Rational, (and Labour was to be his Title to it;) not to the Fancy or Covetousness of the Quarrelsom and Contentious."

-John Locke. The Second Treatise. Property. Section 34. Line 5.

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #33 on: November 09, 2009, 01:55:56 PM »



Lmao; great! And yes I am not even scottish. . . I'm Sicilian by ancestry (American by culture), but this utilikilt is far too awesome for that to get in the way. By the way, that's the point of a utilikilt, to be an American product. =)


then, the gladiator:




it doesn't get more manly than that.
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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #34 on: November 09, 2009, 02:04:04 PM »

However, I don't know if it will convince him he's wrong.
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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #35 on: November 09, 2009, 03:19:27 PM »

then, the gladiator:




it doesn't get more manly than that.
If, by 'manly', you mean super-duper-gay, you're absolutely right.
(Maybe if the guy had a shirt on or something....)
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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #36 on: November 10, 2009, 03:01:34 AM »


If, by 'manly', you mean super-duper-gay, you're absolutely right.
(Maybe if the guy had a shirt on or something....)

i think what makes it so shimmeringly gay is the fact that the back is a modest few inches longer than the front.  it's fetching.
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LibertyOfProperty

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #37 on: November 10, 2009, 08:41:22 AM »

No it couldn't be the fact that the side covering the left leg is conveniently missing. . .
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"He gave [property] to the use of the Industrious and Rational, (and Labour was to be his Title to it;) not to the Fancy or Covetousness of the Quarrelsom and Contentious."

-John Locke. The Second Treatise. Property. Section 34. Line 5.

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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #38 on: November 10, 2009, 07:59:05 PM »



Lmao; great! And yes I am not even scottish. . . I'm Sicilian by ancestry (American by culture), but this utilikilt is far too awesome for that to get in the way. By the way, that's the point of a utilikilt, to be an American product. =)


then, the gladiator:




it doesn't get more manly than that.
i have one of those
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Re: Family & relationship advice needed!
« Reply #39 on: May 02, 2010, 09:01:14 AM »

Sorry to hear that, GI.  I'm glad that you're trying to get out of the situation.  The cost of an apartment depends on where you live and what you want to rent.  Why don't you take a look on www.craigslist.org?  You can also find numerous apartment complexes on www.apartments.com.  As for a free place to live, maybe you could look up hostels online?  Aside from that, you may need to get the authorities involved, if you want some temporary assistance from the government. 
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